The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast

Caroline Strawson

The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast is to help women thrive after the devastating effects of trauma through narcissistic abuse. Hosted by Caroline Strawson, award winning Trauma Informed Coach & Therapist, founder of the Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme using a unique integration of tools such as EMDR, Brainspotting, Positive Psychology, Internal Family Systems, Breath Work and RTT, author (Divorce Became My Superpower) and speaker, this podcast is created to provide support, education and awareness around self healing, gaslighting, complex PTSD, codependency and surviving narcissistic abuse. This is a place where we understand the anger, toxicity and guilt you feel through the behaviours of a narcissist and this podcast is designed to help take you from trauma to transformation.

69 Episoder

  • The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

    068 Postnatal Depression or Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse

    28:39

    I had a fascinating conversation recently about postnatal depression and the symptoms of narcissistic abuse, and I thought it would be interesting to do an episode about it. Today I share the different challenges I faced during pregnancy, my own experience with postnatal depression, and the realisation that what I was feeling was mostly trauma-based.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What triggered my inner wounds during my first pregnancy, and why I felt not good enough as a mother - How I ended up with the belief that I had to choose between being enough either as mom or wife, but not both - Why I decided to stay after finding out my ex-husband was cheating on me - Looking at postnatal depression as protector parts distracting us from being in a loveless marriage When we come from a place of anger, depression, anxiety, self-harm or addictions, it could be a part of us protecting us from a core wound our brain believes is too painful to feel. Narcissists are specialists in shining big spotlights on our inner wounds, and the more they do that, the more our protector parts show up and get louder. Eventually, what we think is the problem, actually is a symptom of the problem, and for us to experience post-traumatic growth, it is crucial we get curious about it.  Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
  • The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

    067 Nervous System Responses To Narcissistic Abuse

    17:57

    Today, I will explain in depth what the Ladder of Tolerance is, how it works and how we use it in my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Program™. We will explore how our nervous system functions, hoping to remove some of the guilt and shame that narcissistic abuse imprints on us. I will share some of my own traumatic experiences as a child that made me blend with my protective parts and turn into a perfectionist, self-harming, and people-pleasing person.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - The Ladder of Tolerance and how can we use it to understand our nervous system response to abuse - What is post-traumatic growth, and how it can help us recover from narcissistic abuse - What it means that we must be taught to be in the top part of the ladder, and what happens when we are not - Why healing from narcissistic abuse does not happen only on the cognitive level, and what other things we must work on to heal completely Our nervous system is constantly moving up and down the ladder. When we feel safe, we are at the top, and when we feel anxious, nervous, or threatened, we are at the bottom. In many cases, there is no real danger and still, we think our life is on the line. What triggers that response is usually self-worthiness wounds we drag from traumatic experiences from our childhood. We need to take a closer look at those wounds, get curious about them and find out their origin, so we can learn to heal them.  Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
  • The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

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  • The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

    066 The Narcissistic Disney Parent

    12:22

    In this episode, we will talk about what I call the Disney narcissistic parents - about their behaviour when they are with the kids, the effects of that on our children, and the responses it triggers in us. We will talk about dealing with this kind of narcissistic parents, which is one of the most challenging parts of co-parenting with a narcissist.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What is a Disney narcissistic parent and how we can identify them - Why it is so triggering for us to deal with this behaviour in co-parenting with a narcissist - Why our kids misbehave when they are with us and never when they are with the narcissistic parent - How The Tolerance Ladder can help us understand our kids' behaviour Although it might be extremely challenging to co-parent with a narcissist, we must focus on teaching our kids values, showing them love, ensuring a secure connection and installing a healthy sense of self in them. The Disney narcissistic parent will flood them with expensive toys, new cell phones or video games, but none of that can compete with the kind of relationship we can offer to them based on trust, love and a deep connection.  Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/  
  • The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

    065 Narcissists & Sex - The Intimacy Avoidance Protector Part

    21:26

    Today, we will talk about a topic that can be quite triggering. We will talk about intimacy while in a relationship with a narcissist, and we will look at lack of sexual desire from a trauma-informed perspective. To explore this topic, I’ll be fully vulnerable and share some of my own experiences with my ex-husband, and how I navigated these issues.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - How looking at intimacy with a narcissist from a trauma-informed perspective can help us better understand our reactions  - Why we must understand there is nothing wrong with ourselves when our body rejects intimacy with our partner - What I learned about myself and my relationship with sex in my previous marriage Understanding that frigidity, coldness, or lack of sexual desire are nothing else than our protector parts activating body responses to a perceived danger changes everything. Rather than thinking it is a conscious choice or something wrong with us, we must know that these reactions to sex are parts of us doing their job, which is keeping us alive.  Resources: - Bella Article https://publishmystory.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/bella-caroline-strawson-nf-finished.jpg  - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
  • The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

    064 Brain Damage From Narcissistic Abuse

    12:04

    In this episode, we will talk about the damage that narcissistic abuse provokes to our brains. Although what happens to us in abusive relationships is considered brain damage, I'll add a caveat right away and clarify that this damage can be reversed. In fact, you can start living even better than before. We will begin by understanding what happens in our minds when we are abused, what parts of the brain are triggered by the abuse, and how we can recover from it. What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What kind of brain damage narcissistic abuse produces - What happens when our mind goes from "online" to "offline" mode - How the hippocampus and the amygdala affect how we feel and how we react to abuse - What we can do to reverse the damage produced by narcissistic abuse The traumatic experiences we go through in our childhood leave marks, or self-worthiness wounds as we call them. Those wounds are the reference our brain has to do its primary job of keeping us alive. Our brain will always pick what it considers the less painful option, even if that means staying in an abusive relationship. Understanding this is crucial to see that our system is trying to protect us, and for us to become curious why it considers abuse less dangerous than other options.   Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
  • The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

    063 What Exactly Is A Narcissist?

    11:39

    Today, I want to talk about a subject that divides the trauma, counselling, and psychology world: the label of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). I'll share my opinion on the challenges and dangers of labelling NPD. We’ll talk about and compare three different approaches - the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the Internal Family System approach, and my own, Narcissistic Trauma Informed approach.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why I consider over 35 traits in order to recognise NPD and not only 9 like the DSM - Why labelling and medicalising NPD almost feels like excusing the narcissistic behaviour - Why we consider narcissistic traits as an umbrella protecting self-worthiness wounds In many cases of narcissistic abuse, I've witnessed how the victims tend to see narcissistic abuse as a reflection of them. What happens is that when we have self-worthiness wounds from our childhood, we believe the narcissist "is right" abusing us because we see ourselves as unworthy or unlovable. That is why I love to share this knowledge, because we must know that the abuse is happening TO US, not because of us.  Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/  
  • The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

    062 The Narcissist Addict

    12:06

    In this episode, we discuss narcissists in relation to addictions. We will use the Internal Family Systems approach to understand how addictions can serve as protective parts. We will also learn how addictions can distract and soothe away narcissists from suffering from their self-worthiness wounds.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - Why addictions are considered protective parts in Internal Family Systems - How the narcissist’s interpretation of other people's actions and reactions lead to addictive behaviours - How a better understanding of narcissists' addictions can help us on our trauma recovery journey Self-worthiness wounds are created during childhood, and the interpretation of the world and other people's behaviour forms what is called an exile in Internal Family Systems. Addiction to drugs, porn, sex, or work can act as protective parts the brain uses to protect people from feeling that pain again. Between being distracted by an external stimulus or feeling miserable, the brain chooses what it considers less painful.  Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
  • The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

    061 Gaslighting Examples From A Narcissist

    21:28

    Today, we talk about gaslighting. I'm amazed by the number of people who aren't sure what gaslighting is and don't even know they are being victims of it. To help me explain what gaslighting is and why it is a form of abuse, I'll share some situations I've experienced during my previous marriage with my ex-husband.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What gaslighting is, and what makes it a form of abuse - Why, when we are being gaslighted, we doubt our sanity and our common sense - How my ex-husband went from potential murder to hero - Why we isolate ourselves when we are being gaslighted in our relationship When someone is being abused, their friends and relatives will most likely advise them to leave that relationship. In most cases, the abused won't leave their abuser, not because they don't want to, but because they can't, because being in an abusive relationship feels safer for the victim's system than being alone. Gaslighting is a form of abuse, and we must approach its victims with compassion and empathy.  Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/
  • The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

    060 Narcissistic Abuse & Polyvagal Theory

    10:15

    In this episode, we will analyse narcissistic abuse from the polyvagal theory perspective. We’ll use this theory, remarkably well explained by Deb Dana, to understand how our nervous system responds to abuse, and use that knowledge to lift and remove the shame and guilt attached to those reactions.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - What is the polyvagal theory, and how the ladder analogy can help us to better understand our response to abuse - What are the sympathetic, dorsal vagal, and ventral vagal responses of our system, and what they mean - How triggers affect our "position" on the trust ladder Understanding how and why we react to abuse is the first step to acknowledging that we are not weak and powerless, and that what is happening is not our fault. We need to get curious about what our system "sees," and what it is trying to protect us from.  Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/  
  • The Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Podcast podcast

    059 Adult Children of a Narcissist

    15:55

    Today's episode is directed to parents who went through abusive narcissistic relationships and who have adult children. We will talk about how triggering it can be to watch our adult child taking our place in that abusive relationship, and the best way to deal with it. I share some advice on how to talk to our children in these situations, and how to deal with the challenging circumstance of seeing our child becoming a narcissist.  What You Will Learn In This Episode: - The difference between co-parenting young children and adult children with a narcissist - What is the best way to talk to our adult children about their narcissistic parent - Why our children look more aggressive with us than with the narcissistic parent - How to protect our relationship with our adult children Questioning our children why they are still in touch with their narcissistic parent has the same effect as asking a victim of domestic abuse why they don't leave their partner. Their system makes them feel weaker, worthless, and even more powerless, and we must wait for our children to see things for themselves, as well as accept that perhaps they never will.  Resources: - Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse - Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse  - Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ - My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

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