Episode 10 - Everything is relational: an interview with Lucy Maeve
Lucy Maeve returns to the podcast for another wide-ranging conversation, this time exploring the idea that everything is relational. Louise and Lucy move past fixed attachment-style labels to look at how our capacity to be in relationship, romantic, platonic, familial, and even with money and work, shows us exactly where our healing still needs to happen. They talk about why a decade of solo empowerment work has left a lot of people relationally isolated, what it really takes to stay in connection when things get hard, the sister wound between women, and why the goal was never to remove all the difficulty from relationship, but to let it do its job.
What we cover:
Lucy shares why she no longer subscribes to fixed attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, disorganised), and why she's more interested in the different parts of us that show up depending on who we're in relationship with.
Louise reflects on once identifying strongly with a “disorganised” attachment style, and why over-identifying with any label can keep us trapped rather than help us heal.
Why relational work matters
Lucy on the limits of solo healing work (journaling, therapy alone, oracle cards) and how a decade-long focus on personal empowerment has left many people more isolated, not less.
The gap between looking professionally “put together” and being able to be truly open in relationship, and why real relationships surface what solo work can't.
Relationships as a mirror
Louise on the patterns her husband Nat triggers that mirror her relationship with her father, and why staying in the discomfort (rather than retreating to an imaginary cabin in the woods) is the actual work.
Why a relationship being hard isn't a sign it's the wrong relationship. It's often a sign of exactly what it's there to show you.
The performance versus the real self
Lucy on why people who are professionally “nailing it” can find it terrifying to simply be themselves in a room of peers, and why dropping the performance is the real test of relational work.
Louise on not knowing what she “found fun” after being signed off work with stress in 2018, and how identifying with a job title can disconnect us from our own wholeness.
Lucy's story: anxiety, recurring UTIs, and getting curious
Lucy's experience of sudden, extreme anxiety and nine months of recurrent UTIs early in her relationship with Thomas, and how getting curious, rather than taking “trust your body” at face value, helped her understand what was actually happening.
Why advice like “if it's not a full-body yes, it's a no” can be unhelpful, even harmful, for anyone carrying relational wounding.
Parent figures, career, and money
Lucy and Louise on the “pseudo-parent” dynamics that show up with employers and coaches (JP Morgan, KPMG, PwC), and the process of individuating out of them.
Louise on where her relationship with money still mirrors her dad's, and the ongoing work of noticing where old patterns still resurface.
The sister wound
Why the sister wound between women can run especially deep, historically and personally, and how simply naming it can soften the shame around feeling scared in rooms of women.
The healing that becomes possible once trust and safety are rebuilt between women, and the value of well-curated mixed spaces with conscious men and women together.
What relationships are actually for
Reframing relationship as a healing container rather than something that should always feel easy: it's there to show us our blind spots.
Louise on nearly ending her marriage in 2023, and the coaching conversation that shifted things: leave, and you'll meet these same patterns in the next relationship too.
Resources for this episode
Free Art of Embodied Transformation Method Masterclass. Download here
Holistic Awakening School open days, 16th and 17th September: teaching sessions, meet the faculty, meet the students, and live Q&A. Recording available. Sign up here
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If you want to learn the steps that create embodied transformation safely and effectively, download the FREE masterclass, The Art of Embodied Transformation here.
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As a conscious leader, the dream is one of your greatest sources of clarity. It shows you patterns you’ve outgrown, guidance you need, next steps you haven’t yet articulated, the energetic shifts happening before your mind catches up and what your mission is asking of you next. The Dreamtime workshop teaches you how to translate this information in a practical and tangible way. Your dreams will always give you guidance you can trust. All you have to do is remember how to receive it. Get instant access for £19 HERE.
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