The Struggle of Parenting

What does it really take to go from sobbing on a bathroom floor, heart rate at 30 beats per minute, to building a mental health platform that reaches thousands? This week on The Dude Therapist, Eli sits down with mental health advocate and content creator Tori Peyton (@growwithtori) for a raw, unfiltered conversation about eating disorder recovery, the hidden gap between social media and reality, and why faith isn't a substitute for real mental health work. Tori opens up about the moment three years ago that changed everything: a Dartmouth degree, a career in tech, compliments on her body — all while privately battling severe depression, OCD, and an eating disorder so serious it triggered hypothyroidism and dropped her heart rate to 30 beats per minute. She and Eli unpack what it actually looks like when mental illness "doesn't discriminate," and why looking put-together on Instagram means nothing about what's happening underneath. The conversation turns personal when Eli shares his own experience with a panic attack after his daughter was born, a moment that reframed how he understands the clients he treats. Together they explore the vulnerability of admitting "I need help," the strain mental health struggles put on a marriage — Tori's husband, a minor league baseball player, first learned of her crisis over the phone while on the road — and why rock-bottom moments can become turning points instead of endings. From there, the conversation widens into a pointed critique of the self-help and influencer industries. Eli calls out figures like Andy Elliott and Grant Cardone for weaponizing insecurity and body image, while Tori speaks to the specific pressure women face around thinness and the "heroin chic" trends resurfacing in pop culture. Both agree: inspiration is not the same as change, and real growth requires consistent, unsexy, everyday work, not a $6,000 seminar or a single viral quote. The episode closes on faith and mental health, a subject close to both hosts' hearts. Tori, a Christian, describes her "trifecta" morning routine — Bible, journal, coffee — and how her relationship with God serves as a foundation, not a fix, for her mental health. Eli, drawing on his own Jewish faith and a conversation with happiness researcher Arthur Brooks, introduces the concept of "spiritual bypassing," using religion to avoid dealing with real psychological or emotional problems, and the two discuss how spirituality and clinical mental health treatment can and should coexist without one replacing the other. If you've ever felt like you had to look "fine" on the outside while falling apart on the inside, this episode is for you. Topics Covered:  Why appearances lie: success, thinness, and a hidden eating disorder  Tori's rock bottom: hypothyroidism and a heart rate of 30 BPM  Telling her husband over the phone, from the road Eli's own panic attack after his daughter's birth  Why isolation is the enemy of recovery: "Call your mom, call someone"  Inspiration vs. transformation: why one podcast or seminar won't heal you  Calling out the self-help and influencer industry: Andy Elliott, Grant Cardone, and weaponized insecurity  The "heroin chic" trend and the pressure women face around thinness Faith as a foundation, not a fix:  Tori's morning "trifecta" Spiritual bypassing: when religion becomes an escape from real mental health work  Shame and fear as the biggest threats to long-term recovery  And more About Tori Peyton: Tori Peyton is a mental health advocate, content creator, and podcast host known online as @growwithtori on Instagram and TikTok. A Dartmouth graduate with a background in tech, Tori is a survivor of a severe eating disorder, OCD, and depression, and has built a platform dedicated to honest conversations about mental health recovery, faith, and body image. She hosts her own podcast, Keep Growing Pod, focused on mental health, eating disorder recovery, and food freedom for women. Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist 📖 From I Do to We Do by Eli Weinstein - https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book  🌐 EliWeinsteinLCSW.com - https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/  📱 Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw - https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw  🎙️ Podcast Instagram: @thedudetherapist - https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist  Chapters 00:00 Intro: Tori's rock bottom with her eating disorder 5:35 The story behind hitting rock bottom 8:56 Opening up to her husband about her struggles 11:35 Hitting bottom as a turning point for real change 16:57 Why inspiration isn't the same as real change 19:39 The self-help industry: red flags and grifters 26:09 The pressure of appearance on women vs. men 29:21 Tori's daily "trifecta": Bible, journal, coffee 36:07 Spiritual bypassing: using religion to avoid real work 41:22 Shame and fear as barriers to mental health 43:56 Where to find Tori and closing thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the question you've been asking your whole life is the wrong one? Not "How do I become successful?" but something quieter and far more dangerous: "Am I enough?" This week, Eli marks a milestone, 300 episodes of The Dude Therapist, by sitting down with Joseph King Barkley, a partner at Novus Global and president of the Meta Performance Institute. Together, they have an honest, wide-ranging conversation about ambition, self-worth, fatherhood, and the question that quietly drives many high-achieving lives. Eli and Joseph explore what they call the "enoughness trap", the pattern where someone builds the career, the house, the family, yet still feels strangely disconnected from it all. Joseph reveals how, beneath most overachievement, exists one haunting question, and why the way out isn't found in more accolades or achievements but in asking better questions. He reflects on his own wake-up calls, including a gut-wrenching Father's Day card from his daughter, and uses the Star Wars mythology of Yoda and Darth Vader to illustrate the difference between chasing mastery as an identity to defend versus practicing mastery as a lifelong, joyful process. They also discuss how the enoughness trap quietly sabotages relationships, turning spouses, kids, and friends into unintentional scorekeepers of self-worth. Joseph explains how burnout, feedback aversion, and restless boredom are common symptoms of an unchecked high-performance mindset. He shares deeply personal stories, from adrenal failure to losing his home in the Eaton Canyon wildfire to navigating his father's recent brain injury, to show how the right question, asked at the right time, can transform devastation into growth.  The episode concludes with a powerful coaching reframe: replacing "How can I be the best?" with "What are we capable of?"  a question that has guided Joseph in coaching elite clients, like those at Netflix, and in his own darkest moments. If you've ever achieved a goal you thought would finally make you feel like enough, only to find yourself feeling empty, this episode is for you. Topics Covered: Why "Am I enough?" is the hidden question behind most high achievement The enoughness trap: how it turns spouses, kids, and friends into scorekeepers of self-worth Joseph's Father's Day card wake-up call Better questions, not better answers: the foundation of Joseph's coaching philosophy Yoda vs. Darth Vader: mastery as an identity to defend vs. mastery as a way of being Burnout, feedback aversion, and restless boredom as signs of unchecked high performance Turning tragedy into transformation: adrenal failure, the Eaton Canyon wildfire, and a father's brain injury Fatherhood as a mirror: the difference between fixing and being present The Enneagram Three and letting go of achievement as identity The meta-performance question: "What are we capable of?" And more About Joseph King Barkley: Joseph King Barkley is a partner at Novus Global and president of the Meta Performance Institute, where he coaches leaders and teams, including executives at companies like Netflix on performance, identity, and what it takes to build a fulfilling life. Joseph's website - https://www.josephkingbarkley.com/ Novus Global - https://novus.global/josephkingbarkley/ Meta Performance Institute - https://www.mp.institute/ Free tool: Nuclear Questions - https://nuclearquestions.com  Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist 📖 From I Do to We Do by Eli Weinstein - https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book  🌐 EliWeinsteinLCSW.com - https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/  📱 Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw - https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw  🎙️ Podcast Instagram: @thedudetherapist - https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist  Chapters 0:00 – Intro: Celebrating 300 Episodes 2:46 – Meet Joseph King Barkley 3:12 – The Achievement That Never Feels Like Enough 4:43 – The Father's Day Card That Changed Everything 8:42 – I've Got Everything, So Why Am I Empty? 9:20 – The Adrenal Failure & Losing Everything in the Eaton Fire 12:07 – Kumail Nanjiani, Therapy, and Tying Worth to Success 17:39 – Yoda vs. Darth Vader: Mastery as Identity vs. Mastery as Life 20:57 – Symptoms of the High-Performance Mentality 24:49 – Fatherhood as a Mirror 25:24 – "Nothing Harder, Nothing More Rewarding" Than Being a Dad 30:08 – The Belief About Masculinity Joseph Left Behind at 25 33:23 – The Meta Performance Question: "What Are We Capable Of?" 35:10 – Where to Find Joseph & Closing Thoughts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it actually take to become brave? Not fearless, but brave? Not a personality trait you're born with, but a muscle you build one uncomfortable rep at a time. This week, Eli interviews Jill Schulman, one of the first female Marine combat engineer officers, a leadership researcher, and the author of The Bravery Effect. Together, they dig into what the science actually says about fear, courage, and why the people who seem the bravest aren't the ones who feel the least afraid. They're the ones who act anyway. Eli and Jill trace her path from the Marine Corps through 15 years in Fortune 100 corporate leadership to a decade running her own firm and studying how fear controls behavior. Jill breaks down the real difference between bravery and courage. She explains why "social bravery", the everyday fear of rejection, failure, and imperfection, quietly holds back far more people than the fear of physical danger ever does. She also shares how her research on anticipatory regret gives you a simple question to ask whenever fear is telling you to stay small. They also get into why attacking your hardest task first thing in the morning matters more than almost any productivity hack. They discuss the three zones of growth and why "embracing the suck" is different from burning yourself out. And they explore the one-word reframe — "yet" — that can quietly rewire a self-limiting belief. Jill makes the case that bravery isn't reserved for burning buildings and battlefields. It's built in the small, daily decision to move toward what scares you instead of away from it. If you've ever frozen up before a hard conversation, stalled out on a goal you keep avoiding, or wondered whether courage is something you either have or don't, this episode is for you. Topics Covered: Why bravery is voluntary action in the presence of fear, not the absence of it The real difference between bravery (what you do) and courage (who you become) Social bravery: the everyday fear that holds most people back How bravery is trained like a muscle, not handed out as a gift The "attack the day" strategy for using your peak willpower on your hardest task The power of adding "yet" to a self-limiting belief Comfort, discomfort, and distress: the three zones of growth What your future self wants you to do right now Why the right people around you make the leap possible How to tell if fear is a signal to run or a signal to move toward And more About Jill Schulman: Jill Schulman is a researcher, speaker, and author of The Bravery Effect. Her career spans three chapters: U.S. Marine Corps officer, one of the first-ever female combat engineer officers, 15 years in Fortune 100 corporate leadership, and a decade running her own leadership firm, Breakthrough Leadership Group. She holds a master's degree in positive psychology and has built her work around original research on how fear controls behavior, helping people become braver not just in heroic moments, but in the daily decisions that shape a fulfilling life. Connect with Jill 📖 The Bravery Effect by Jill Schulman - https://jillschulman.com/bravery-effect/ 🌐 Jill's website - https://www.jillschulman.com/  Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist 📖 From I Do to We Do by Eli Weinstein - https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book  🌐 EliWeinsteinLCSW.com - https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/  📱 Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw - https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw  🎙️ Podcast Instagram: @thedudetherapist - https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist  Chapters 0:00 Introduction & Meet Jill Schulman 2:47 What Is Bravery? (The Scientific Definition) 8:11 Surprising Research: Action Builds Confidence 10:03 Facing Your Biggest Fear (Skydiving Story) 15:10 Anticipatory Regret & Your Future Self 16:09 Embrace the Suck: Comfort vs. Discomfort Zones 21:22 Is Staying Comfortable Actually Dangerous? 26:25 Do Hard Things First: "Attack the Day" 31:38 What Everyday Bravery Actually Looks Like 34:24 The Power of Yet & Practical Tools to Start Now Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it take to build a following of millions without a viral moment, shortcuts, or a college degree? Just years of consistent effort when no one else is watching. This week, Eli interviews Luke Elsman, a Gymshark athlete, Ghost Energy ambassador, and one of the most relatable fitness content creators online. Together, they dive into the unglamorous, patient, and deeply personal journey behind Luke's success. Luke opens up about juggling a full-time HVAC job while grinding on TikTok for years, how fitness became a core part of his identity rather than just a hobby, and what it truly means to show up even on the toughest days. Eli and Luke explore Luke's journey from skipping college to prioritize the gym, relocating from New Jersey to South Carolina for creative freedom, to years of uploading YouTube workout videos with little traction but finding joy in the process. Luke shares stories of working a 7-to-3:30 HVAC shift, filming skits every evening, and slowly building his presence on TikTok, which eventually led to meaningful sponsorships. He also reflects on the pivotal moment when he decided to leave a secure job to pursue content creation full-time. They discuss the challenges and opportunities of representing a brand like Gymshark, why the gym now serves as a source of identity and stability, and the deeper reasons he never skips a workout. Luke also reveals a quieter, goofier side off-camera, a life-changing interaction with a fan on crutches, and the complexities of balancing a relationship when one partner is gym-obsessed and the other isn't. If you've ever struggled with staying consistent, felt pressure to measure up, or wondered how to stay grounded when success comes knocking, this episode is for you. Topics Covered: Why Luke chose the gym over college and everything else Balancing a 7-to-3:30 HVAC job with years of daily content creation The mindset shift that pushed Luke to quit his stable job and focus on social media Why building success over time is more sustainable than overnight virality Combining fitness and comedy to create content that resonates with millions The real Luke Elsman behind the camera Staying committed to the gym and life when motivation fades Navigating relationships when fitness priorities differ The fan encounter that changed Luke's perspective on his impact Misconceptions Luke wishes people would stop believing about themselves And more About Luke Elsman: Luke Elsman is a full-time fitness content creator, Gymshark athlete, and Ghost Energy ambassador known for his hilarious and relatable gym character skits. With millions of views on TikTok and nearly 800,000 Instagram followers, Luke has built his audience through years of consistent effort, avoiding shortcuts, and a genuine passion for his craft. He's also the host of the podcast, Thinking With A Pump. Links and Resources 💪 Luke Elsman on Instagram and TikTok: https://www.instagram.com/lukeelsman  🎧 Luke's podcast: Thinking With A Pump 📺 YouTube: Luke Elsman Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist 📖 From I Do to We Do by Eli Weinstein - https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book  🌐 EliWeinsteinLCSW.com - https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/  📱 Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw - https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw  🎙️ Podcast Instagram: @thedudetherapist - https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist  0:00 – Cold Open: How Do You Keep Going When It's Not Clicking? 0:48 – Introducing Luke Elsman 2:09 – How the Gym Became His Identity 4:03 – The Slow Burn: Years of No Traction (And Loving It Anyway) 8:34 – Quitting HVAC to Go All-In on Content 10:54 – Staying Consistent When Motivation Disappears 10:54 – The Gymshark Pressure: Does the "Look" Matter? 14:09 – Dealing With Hate & Staying Unbothered 17:50 – Who Luke Really Is Off-Camera 24:31 – What People Get Wrong About You 25:31 – What He Had to Unlearn About Success 33:56 – The Fan on Crutches Who Changed Everything 36:26 – Dating Someone Who Isn't a Gym Person 40:11 – Stop Telling Yourself You're Not Enough 42:45 – What's Coming Next for Luke Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the way you're defending yourself in every argument is actually the thing keeping you stuck? This week, Eli interviews Dr. Christian Conte, a licensed professional counselor and one of only four Level 5 anger management specialists in the world, for a wide-ranging conversation on emotional control, communication, and mental toughness. With 27 years of experience working inside maximum security prisons, training corrections officers, police departments, and elite athletes along the way, Dr. Conte has spent his career studying what actually happens in the moment someone loses control, and what it takes to get it back. Eli and Dr. Conte dig into Yield Theory, the evidence-based communication approach Dr. Conte created, built on listening, validating, and exploring options rather than defending and attacking. They unpack the amygdala hijack and why your brain protects your ego the same way it protects your body from a threat, explore the difference between guilt and shame and why shaming someone almost always backfires, and break down what Dr. Conte calls "cartoon world vs. real world," the gap between how we expect things to go and how they actually go, and why closing that gap is the key to peace. The conversation also turns personal, covering how to raise emotionally strong young men and a story from death row that reframes what it means to guard your own mind. If you've ever said something in anger you didn't mean, struggled to feel truly heard in a conflict, or wondered why validation never seems to land the way you intend it to, this episode is for you. Topics Covered: What Yield Theory is and its three core actions: listen, validate, explore options The amygdala hijack and why your brain defends your ego like it's under physical attack Non-attachment: separating feedback about your performance from feedback about your worth The "Empty Your Cup" Zen story and why a full mind blocks growth Cartoon world vs. real world, and the tyranny of the "should" The validation myth: why validation doesn't mean agreement Guilt vs. shame, and why shame makes behavior worse, not better Raising emotionally strong young men The death row bucket story: what are you filling your mind with? Accurate language as a mental health tool And more About Dr. Christian Conte: Dr. Christian Conte holds a PhD in Counselor Education and Supervision and is a Licensed Professional Counselor and one of only four Level 5 Anger Management Specialists in the world. He created Yield Theory in 1998 - now an evidence-based communication approach used in prisons, police departments, sports psychology, and corporate organizations.  He is the author of 12 books, including Walking Through Anger and Strong Mind, Strong Man, and a former tenured professor at the University of Nevada. Links and Resources  🎥 Dr. Christian Conte on YouTube  📘 Strong Mind, Strong Man  📘 Walking Through Anger (available on Audible) Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist  📖 From I Do to We Do by Eli Weinstein: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book  🌐 EliWeinsteinLCSW.com: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/  📱 Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw  🎙️ Podcast Instagram: @thedudetherapist: https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist This show is created by and Hosted by Eli Weinstein ©The Dude Therapist Executive Produced and Edited by Matthew “MoJo” Jones, Graphic Design by Kiro Issac Chapters 00:00 What is a Strong Mind? The core foundation 01:30 Introduction: Who is Dr. Christian Conte? 04:30 The birth of Yield Theory: Three core actions 10:00 How the amygdala defends your ego like a bear in the room 13:30 Non-attachment: You are not your thoughts 20:00 Empty Your Cup: The Zen story that teaches you about yourself 26:00 How to validate without agreeing 33:00 Draining the limbic system: Validate until they feel validated 40:00 The "bottomless cup" — when validation is never enough 45:00 Guilt vs. shame: Why shame makes behavior worse 51:00 Cartoon world vs. real world and the tyranny of the should 57:00 What it actually means to be mentally tough (hint: it's vulnerability) 1:03:00 Raising emotionally strong young men Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the diet you started to feel better about your body is the same thing that's quietly damaging your relationship with it? This week, Eli interviews Dr. Brad Smith, a board-certified psychiatrist and Chief Medical Officer at Accanto Health, the parent organization of the Emily Program, for an open and clinically informed conversation on eating disorders, diet culture, and the hidden dangers of wellness trends. With over 14 years of experience in eating disorder treatment, Dr. Smith has witnessed how a simple desire to "be healthier" can subtly evolve into something harmful. Eli and Dr. Smith discuss why eating disorders almost never stem from bad intentions and how the line between "disordered eating" and a clinical diagnosis is often more blurred than most realize. They explore how social media has amplified body image issues and dive into the controversy surrounding GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and Wegovy within the eating disorder field. From keto and intermittent fasting to MLM programs like Optavia, they scrutinize popular diet trends, addressing the lasting harm caused by approaches like The Biggest Loser model of weight loss, which a recent Netflix documentary sheds light on. Dr. Smith also explains the neuroscience behind body dysmorphia, why malnourished brains struggle with therapy, and how well-meaning doctors and coaches can unintentionally trigger eating disorders in patients aiming to improve their health. The conversation concludes with a reflection on a common yet problematic remark: complimenting someone's weight loss with "you look so good," and why such comments can have unintended consequences. If you've ever criticized your body in the mirror, turned a diet into an obsession, or questioned whether your GLP-1 prescription is helping or harming, this episode is for you. Topics Covered: How eating disorders begin—and why they're rarely about vanity The blurry line between disordered eating and clinical eating disorders Social media's impact on body image distortion The debate surrounding GLP-1 medications (Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro) Fad diets: keto, intermittent fasting, and MLM programs like Optavia The Biggest Loser and Netflix's exposé on weight-loss reality TV The neuroscience of body dysmorphia How malnourishment impairs therapy and recovery The presence of diet culture in healthcare as well as social media Links between eating disorders, anxiety, depression, and substance use And more About Dr. Brad Smith: Dr. Brad Smith is a board-certified psychiatrist and the Chief Medical Officer at Accanto Health, the parent organization of the Emily Program, one of the nation's leading eating disorder treatment providers. With over 14 years of expertise in eating disorders, he brings both clinical insight and deep empathy to discussions about recovery, treatment, and the systemic factors contributing to the prevalence of eating disorders. Links and Resources  🏥 Accanto Health : https://accanto.com/ 🎗️ The Emily Program : https://emilyprogram.com/ 📘 Anti-Diet by Christy Harrison: https://www.christyharrison.com/antidietbook 📘 The Wellness Trap by Christy Harrison: https://www.christyharrison.com/thewellnesstrap  📺 The Biggest Loser (2024), Netflix Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist 📖 From I Do to We Do by Eli Weinstein: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book 🌐 EliWeinsteinLCSW.com : https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/  📱 Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw : https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw  🎙️ Podcast Instagram: @thedudetherapist : https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist 0:00 - Intro: Diet Culture & Well-Meaning Habits That Backfire 0:49 - Meet Dr. Brad Smith: Psychiatrist & CMO of Accanto Health 9:03 - What Is an Eating Disorder & How Does It Start? 15:52 - GLP-1 Medications (Ozempic/Wegovy) & Eating Disorder Risk 18:33 - Who Is Most Susceptible to Developing an Eating Disorder? 25:33 - Disordered Eating vs. Eating Disorders: Where's the Line? 27:49 - "Wow, You Look So Good" — Why Complimenting Weight Loss Is Harmful 33:00 - The Hard Truth: Eating Disorders Have One of the Highest Mortality Rates Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the hardest part of being sick isn't the illness itself, but convincing the world you actually have one? This week, Eli sits down with Nicole Pedra, chronic illness advocate, model, and host of the podcast Seen, Not Fixed, for a raw and honest conversation about living with Multiple Sclerosis since age 10. It's a conversation about what happens when your body is fighting a war that nobody else can see, and what it costs to look "fine" when you're anything but. Diagnosed with MS as a kid, Nicole spent years hiding her condition before finally going public. She and Eli dig into why "you don't look sick" is one of the most invalidating things you can say to someone with a chronic illness, and how that able-bodied expectation shapes everything from friendships to first dates. They talk about the shame, isolation, and internalized ableism that so often come with invisible illness, and how Nicole learned to stop apologizing for a body that doesn't always cooperate. The conversation moves into the mind-body connection, and how nervous system regulation actually changes physical symptoms. Nicole shares the grounding tools that keep her steady: art therapy, music, journaling, and creative reading. They also get into the harder conversations, like how and when to disclose a chronic illness to a romantic partner, and why representation of disabled and chronically ill people in media still matters so much. Nicole opens up about her billboard in Times Square with Jollibee and the "I'll show you" mindset that got her there. Eli brings his own experience with Crohn's disease into the mix, including the surprising role his environment played in his healing. If you've ever felt like you had to prove your pain was real, or hide your struggle to be believed, this episode is for you. Topics Covered:  Invisible illness and the "you look fine" problem Nicole's MS diagnosis at age 10 and the years of hiding  Coming out publicly about chronic illness on social media  Selma Blair, Christina Applegate, and Michael J. Fox: celebrity advocacy and its ripple effect  The mind-body connection and nervous system regulation  Grounding tools: art therapy, music, creative reading  Dating and relationships with chronic illness  And more About Nicole Pedra: Nicole Pedra is a chronic illness advocate, public speaker, model, and host of the podcast Seen, Not Fixed, part of Spoonie Productions. Diagnosed with MS at age 10, she uses her platforms to share the unfiltered reality of living with invisible illness and to build community for people who feel unseen. Links and Resources  🎙️ Nicole Pedra on Instagram, and nicolepedra.com  🎧 Nicole’s podcast: Seen, Not Fixed (Spoonly)  📘 Mind Your Body by Nicole Sachs, drawing on the work of Dr. John Sarno  📺 Shrinking (Apple TV+), featuring Michael J. Fox Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist 📖 From I Do to We Do by Eli Weinstein  🌐 EliWeinsteinLCSW.com  📱 Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw  🎙️ Podcast Instagram: @thedudetherapist Chapters 0:00 Intro – The Power of Resilience with Chronic Illness 0:53 Meet Nicole Pedra – Chronic Illness Advocate & Podcaster 2:00 "You Don't Look Sick" – The Invisible Illness Problem 4:09 Shame, Isolation & the Pre-Diagnosis Struggle 12:24 Coming Out Publicly About MS & Finding Community 16:24 The Fear of Disclosure – Work, Modeling & Stigma 24:33 Mind-Body Connection & Nervous System Regulation 29:06 Grounding Tools: Reading, Art Therapy & Music 30:07 Chronic Illness, Self-Worth & Proving Yourself 34:42 "What Doesn't Kill You" – Does It Really Make You Stronger? 42:14 Dating & Relationships with Chronic Illness 48:37 Closing Message: You Are Not Alone Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if everything you've been told about anxiety is wrong? This week, Eli sits down with Dr. David Rosmarin, Harvard Medical School faculty, McLean Hospital clinician, and author of Thriving with Anxiety. It's a conversation that reframes one of the most misunderstood forces in modern life. With over 10,000 patients treated through his Center for Anxiety and a viral TEDx Talk that reached millions, Dr. Rosmarin makes a compelling case: anxiety isn't a disorder to be eliminated. It's a signal that you're alive, engaged, and doing something that matters. Drawing from decades of clinical work and research, Dr. Rosmarin unpacks how Western culture has turned a normal human experience into a diagnosis. He explains why the medical model, reinforced by insurance companies and well-meaning parents, may be making an entire generation less resilient, not more. They explore the difference between anxiety as a disorder and anxiety as a feature of caring deeply about your life, your relationships, and your work. The conversation digs into what happens when parents rush to soothe their children's discomfort. They discuss why the pandemic actually produced a surprising inoculation effect for some patients and how the cultural messaging we absorb shapes our relationship with our own nervous systems. Dr. Rosmarin also gets personal. He shares his own experience with panic attacks and what they revealed about the gap between knowing something clinically and living it. They also discuss postpartum anxiety in men (a conversation far too few people are having), concierge therapy as an emerging model for intensive mental health care, and what therapists themselves need to unlearn. Dr. Rosmarin shares a preview of his upcoming framework: The Four Steps: Identify, Share, Embrace, Let Go. It's the foundation of his next book due Fall 2027. If you've ever felt like your anxiety was something to fix, suppress, or outrun, this episode might change how you see it entirely. Topics Covered: Why anxiety's "PR problem" is making mental health worse, not better The over-medicalization of normal emotional states and the real cost How parents' responses to their kids' anxiety may be the #1 driver of the problem Postpartum anxiety in men and why it goes unaddressed The Four Steps framework: Identify, Share, Embrace, Let Go And more About Dr. David Rosmarin: Dr. David Rosmarin is a faculty member at Harvard Medical School, a clinician at McLean Hospital, and the founder of the Center for Anxiety. He has treated over 10,000 patients and is the author of Thriving with Anxiety. His TEDx Talk on anxiety has reached millions of viewers worldwide. His next book, The Four Steps, is due Fall 2027. Links and Resources  Dr. David Rosmarin  📘 Thriving with Anxiety by Dr. David Rosmarin — available now  📘 The Four Steps — coming Fall 2027 🌐 dhrosmarin.com  📧 Join Dr. Rosmarin's email list (20,000+ subscribers)  🎙️ TEDxNashville Talk — "How to Turn Anxiety Into Your Ally, Not Your Enemy"  📖 The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt — recommended reading for parents Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist 📖 From I Do to We Do by Eli Weinstein  🌐 EliWeinsteinLCSW.com  📱 Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw  🎙️ Podcast Instagram: @thedudetherapist Chapters  0:00 Introduction  2:30 Meet Dr. David Rosmarin & the case for anxiety  5:00 Anxiety's two sides: disorder vs. human experience  12:00 The over-medicalization of normal mood states  18:00 Why Western culture has an anxiety problem  24:00 The inoculation effect: pandemic data from 500 patients  29:00 When anxiety IS a clinical problem (and when it isn't)  34:00 Insurance companies, over-diagnosis & the broken medical model  40:00 What parents do that makes their kids' anxiety worse  46:00 Helicopter parenting, Life360 & letting go of control  50:00 Advice for therapists: invest in yourself first  56:00 Using emotions as a clinical tool  1:00:00 How couples can stop anxiety from becoming a third wheel  1:03:00 The Four Steps: Identify, Share, Embrace, Let Go  1:07:00 The Four Steps book preview & where to find Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How much of who you are is actually yours, and how much was handed to you by the stories, expectations, and cultural myths you grew up believing? In this episode, therapist Eli Weinstein sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and Jungian depth psychology practitioner Vanessa Bennett for a powerful conversation about identity, codependency, motherhood, relationships, and the unconscious narratives that quietly shape our lives. Drawing from her new book, The Motherhood Myth, Vanessa explores how many of the messages we receive about motherhood, self-sacrifice, gender roles, and worth are rooted in systems that have existed for generations. Together, Eli and Vanessa unpack how these stories influence not only mothers, but all of us—whether we're parents or not. They discuss why martyrdom has become intertwined with modern motherhood, how shame fuels codependent behaviors, and what happens when our identities become dependent on our children, partners, or external validation. Vanessa explains why so many people find themselves saying, "I don't know who I am anymore," and how that question often reveals a much deeper truth. The conversation also dives into masculinity, fatherhood, sexuality, emotional regulation, and the hidden ways people use relationships to avoid discomfort and uncertainty. Vanessa shares how Jungian psychology helps us understand the symbolic stories we inherit—from Mother Mary to Cinderella—and why healing often begins by questioning the narratives we've accepted without realizing it. This episode is an invitation to examine the stories shaping your life, reconnect with your authentic identity, and build relationships rooted in responsibility rather than dependency. If you've ever struggled with losing yourself in a relationship, parenthood, people-pleasing, codependency, or the pressure to be everything for everyone, this conversation is for you. Topics Covered: What the "Motherhood Myth" actually is and why it affects everyone—not just parents How martyrdom became connected to motherhood and self-worth The role shame plays in codependency and identity formation Why patriarchy impacts both women and menAnd more Resources & Links: 📘 The Motherhood Myth by Vanessa Bennett 📘 It's Not Me, It's You by Vanessa Bennett & John Kim 📱 Instagram: @vanessabennett ✍️ Substack: Vanessa Bennett Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist: 🌐 EliWeinsteinLCSW.com/book 📱 Eli's Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw 🎙️ Podcast Instagram: @thedudetherapist About Vanessa Bennett: Vanessa Bennett is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and Jungian depth psychology practitioner specializing in codependency recovery, relationships, and the unconscious mind. Through her work, she helps people better understand the stories, patterns, and emotional dynamics that shape their lives. She is the co-author of It's Not Me, It's You and author of The Motherhood Myth. This show is hosted by Eli Weinstein and produced by Rainbow Creative. Executive Producer & Editor: Matthew "MoJo" Jones For sales and sponsorship opportunities, contact: [email protected] Chapters 0:00 Introduction 0:25 Meet Vanessa Bennett & The Motherhood Myth 3:22 What Are the Myths of Motherhood? 7:11 How Dominator Systems Keep Us in Shame 7:51 How Patriarchy Hurts Men Too 8:42 The Martyr Mother: Is Self-Sacrifice Good Parenting? 10:19 The Mother Mary Archetype Reexamined 16:10 Codependency & Losing Your Identity in Motherhood 21:47 Stealing Your Child's Growth (The Hard Truth) 35:11 Sex Is Not About Sex 37:51 The Real Meaning of Cinderella 41:26 The Fairy Godmother Explained 45:18 Key Takeaways from The Motherhood Myth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do we actually build healthy relationships in a world where most people were never taught how to love well? And why do so many relationships fail, not because people don't care, but because they never learned the skills required to sustain connection? In this episode, therapist Eli Weinstein sits down with relationship educator, podcast host, and author Robin Ducharme for a deeply thoughtful conversation about relational literacy, forgiveness, emotional responsibility, and what it truly means to create intentional relationships. Robin shares how six years of interviewing some of the world's leading relationship experts, including Esther Perel, Dr. Sue Johnson, the Gottmans, Dr. Shefali, and many more, completely transformed the way she views love, partnership, parenting, and self-growth. Together, Eli and Robin unpack the myths that quietly sabotage modern relationships, including the pressure to find "the one," the obsession with chemistry and sparks, and the unrealistic expectation that one person should fulfill every emotional need we have. They also explore how resentment keeps couples emotionally trapped in the past, why forgiveness is often misunderstood, and how intentionality changes the entire foundation of a relationship from the very beginning. Eli opens up about the emotional weight of trying to convince people to love you the way you need. Robin reflects on how quitting alcohol helped her become more present, peaceful, and emotionally connected in her relationships. This conversation dives deep into communication, emotional maturity, parenting, healing, and the everyday practices that create stronger relationships over time. It's not about perfection—it's about learning the skills most of us were never taught. If you've ever struggled with resentment, emotional disconnection, unrealistic expectations in love, or learning how to show up better in relationships, this episode is for you. Topics Covered: What "relational literacy" actually means Why most people were never taught how to build healthy relationships The soulmate myth and why "finding the one" can be harmful Why chemistry and sparks are often overrated How resentment quietly destroys connection over time What forgiveness really means in relationships The importance of intentionality from the beginning Why quitting alcohol changed Robin's relationships and mindset How to stop trying to convince people to love you properly And more Resources & Links: 📘 Real Love Ready by Robin Ducharme 🌐 RealLoveReady.com 🎙️ Let's Talk Love Podcast 🌸 In Bloom Summit Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist: 📖 Book: From I Do To We Do 🌐 EliWeinsteinLCSW.com/book 📱 Eli's Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw 🎙️ Podcast Instagram: @thedudetherapist About Robin Ducharme: Robin Ducharme is the founder of Real Love Ready, host of the Let's Talk Love podcast, and author of Real Love Ready: A Guide to Relational Literacy. Through her annual In Bloom summit and years of conversations with leading relationship experts, Robin helps people develop healthier relationships rooted in intentionality, emotional awareness, and deeper connection. This show is hosted by Eli Weinstein and produced by Rainbow Creative. Executive Producer & Editor: Matthew "MoJo" Jones For sales and sponsorship opportunities, contact: [email protected] 0:00 Introduction & Meet Robin Ducharme 2:04 Robin's Story: How Real Love Ready Began 4:50 Writing the Book: Six Years of Relationship Wisdom 8:09 The Global Struggle with Connection Today 12:47 Being Present: How Robin Changed Her Life 14:06 The Power of Intention in Relationships 18:35 Intentional Relationships & Building with Hector 19:55 Forgiveness: The Missing Conversation 30:40 Relationship Myths: Debunking the Soulmate 32:04 The Chemistry & Spark Myth 35:38 Interdependence vs. Expecting One Person to Be Everything 37:10 The Import/Export List Exercise for Couples 39:27 About the Book Real Love Ready & In Bloom Summit Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices