Episode 282: Knowing Your Dealbreakers (The 7-Step Divorce Mindset Reset)

Yesterday morning, like many of you, I woke up to the devastating news that a convicted rapist with countless indictments has been re-elected to lead our country. As I sit with this heavy reality, I’m thinking of all of you—especially women in difficult relationships and those in marginalized communities facing fresh threats to our freedoms.  Today, I turn to a Zen Buddhist saying to help me keep going: “Chop wood, carry water.” It reminds me that there is nothing you must do in life other than what must be done. So today, I stare into the void, speak to women, reassure my son, and cuddle my animals. Chop wood, carry water. And later, I will continue the fight. Please know that I will never stop fighting for you, for us, for our children and their futures. Resources & Links: Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this solo episode, I’m diving into the journey of letting go and reclaiming your power during the divorce process, especially if you’re healing from abuse. I know firsthand the mental conditioning and hypervigilance one endures during an abusive relationship, which is why it’s so crucial to establish firm boundaries, even when fear tries to hold you back. I share a personal story of setting boundaries in the face of a controlling relationship and offer practical tips for stepping away from manipulative people, like muting their messages and using support tools such as Aimee Says. Remember, you deserve happiness, and I'm here to help you find it. Featured topics: How to reclaim your power and protect your peace Strategies to stay grounded and maintain boundaries Discover how self-worth fuels your healing journey A reminder that healing is not linear Resources & Links: Drop the Rope - 20 Phrases to Disengage from Conflict Free Download Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Aimee Says  =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-296-drop-the-rope-embracing-your-power-during-divorce/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bill Eddy is back on the show to dive into a critical topic: adult bullies. With election season upon us, the presence of bullies—whether in politics, the workplace, relationships, or even parenting—can feel more intense than ever. Bill, Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute and author of Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them – How to Stop Them, explains how today's media-driven culture fuels the rise of adult bullies, encouraging aggression and disregarding rules. We explore how bullies create crises out of thin air, positioning themselves as heroes of their made-up stories. Plus, Bill shares concrete examples of adult bullying in the world today, how it impacts children when parents are the bullies, and why it's crucial to stand together against bullies to take them down. Listen and learn how to protect yourself and your loved ones from the emotional manipulation bullies use to gain power. Featured topics: What defines an adult bully and the key traits to look out for (4:30) The secret weapon of bullies: emotional manipulation and the "crisis-villain-hero" narrative (8:04) How media and social media fuel the growth of adult bullies (15:27) How parents can inadvertently turn their children away from a co-parent (24:09) The importance of empathy: addressing bullying without becoming bullies ourselves (34:56) The future of adult bullies: what to expect and how to stand against them (49:27) Learn more about Bill Eddy: Bill Eddy is the author of Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them – How to Stop Them and the Chief Innovation Officer of the High Conflict Institute based in San Diego, California. He trains lawyers, judges, mediators, and therapists throughout the United States and a dozen other countries in managing high-conflict family, workplace, and legal disputes. He is the author of over 20 books and manuals and has a popular blog on PsychologyToday.com. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective High Conflict Institute Bill’s book “Our New World of Adult Bullies: How to Spot Them, How to Stop Them” The High Conflict Institute on Facebook The High Conflict Institute on Instagram =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-295-adult-bullies-with-bill-eddy-your-vote-your-choice/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m chatting with Erin Levine, the founder and CEO of Hello Divorce, about why the push to get rid of no-fault divorce is seriously bad news—especially for women. No-fault divorce has enabled people to leave marriages without having to prove things like abuse or cheating and it makes women safer. The GOP wants to repeal or restrict no-fault divorce. We’re here to break down why that’s a huge problem. Erin, a lawyer-turned-CEO, has been shaking up the divorce world with Hello Divorce, a platform that makes the whole process smoother, easier, and less stressful. In this episode, we discuss what no-fault divorce is, why it matters, and what could happen if it’s taken away. Spoiler alert: it’s not good. Featured topics: No-fault divorce: What it is, and how it differs from fault-based divorce (4:55) How no-fault laws help victims leave unsafe marriages (6:55) Why the rollback of no-fault divorce would be disastrous (32:17) What you can do to ensure no-fault divorce protections remain in place (34:16) Learn more about Erin Levine: Erin Levine is not your typical attorney. With over a decade of experience in litigating complex family matters, she saw the need for a kinder, easier and more affordable pathway out of marriage and into the next chapter of life. To achieve this, Erin set out to revolutionize the broken divorce system and founded Hello Divorce, a venture capital backed, tech-enabled platform, that combines self-service online tools with integrated expert advice, making it easier for everyone to navigate their lives and finances with less stress and mess. Erin’s innovative approach to the divorce process has earned her media mentions from the legal industry and beyond, with recent features in Vice, Forbes, American Bar Association Journal, Business Insider and TechCrunch. Ultimately, Erin is on a mission to help separating couples empower a better life ahead and has helped thousands of Americans reorganize their lives and families through a framework that levels the playing field between spouses so they can sort things out fairly, avoid missteps and reimagine their next (best) chapter. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Hello Divorce Hello Divorce on Instagram @hellodivorce Erin on Instagram @erinlevinepace Hello Divorce on Facebook =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-294-your-divorce-your-choice-the-future-of-no-fault-divorce-with-erin-levine-your-vote-your-choice/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Did you know that globally, women only have 75% of the legal rights that men have? And in the U.S., they have none. Gender equality is not just a women’s issue—it impacts everyone. I am honored to welcome Mona Sinha to the show today. Mona is the Global Executive Director of Equality Now, an organization dedicated to advancing legal and systemic change to end violence and discrimination against women and girls worldwide. In this episode, Mona and I dive into the importance of the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA), discussing how its absence from The U.S. Constitution affects domestic violence protections, reproductive freedom, and the overall legal landscape for gender-based violence. We also explore the broader ramifications of not having the ERA in place and how this amendment could uphold equality and justice for all, regardless of gender identity, socioeconomic status, or sexual orientation. Tune in to this powerful conversation as we unpack the significance of the ERA and what’s at stake for equality in the U.S during this upcoming election season.  Featured topics: Why the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) has not yet been added to The Constitution (5:21) How the ERA could impact the wage gap, reproductive rights, and legal protections (11:51) The connection between the ERA and protections for survivors of domestic violence (14:38) How the ERA could transform family court rulings on gender-based violence (20:39) Common misconceptions about the ERA (24:22) How this upcoming election could influence the future of the ERA (31:58) Learn more about Mona Sinha: S. Mona Sinha is the Global Executive Director of Equality Now, an organization that campaigns for legal and systemic change around the world to address violence and discrimination against women and girls. For 25 years, Mona has leveraged her corporate experience to launch, lead or advise over 90 mission-aligned organizations to create a gender-equal world. She is the Board Chair of Women Moving Millions and serves on the Executive Council of the Smithsonian American Women’s History Museum, as well as the Advisory Board of Gucci CHIME. Creating inclusive communities is at the center of her strategic approach, which she believes is the key to unlocking sustainable organizational growth. Mona has received wide recognition for her work to advance equality. In 2023, she was listed in Forbes 50 Over 50 for her impact as a leader driving change for a better future. She’s the recipient of the 2023 Horton Award for Excellence in Social Enterprise from Columbia Business School and CARE USA’s 2021 Impact Award. She was presented the Last Girl Champion Award by Gloria Steinem and Apne Aap in 2017 and the Ellis Island Medal of Honor in 2015. She’s also received awards from Smith College, Children’s Hope India, Modern High School (Kolkata), Women’s eNews, and Breakthrough. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Equality Now Equality Now 2024 U.S. Election Guide Equaliy Now “I Need ERA” Series The ERA Coalition Website Mona on LinkedIn  Mona on Twitter/X =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-293-the-equal-rights-amendment-whats-at-stake-for-gender-equality-with-mona-sinha-your-vote-your-choice/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the first episode of the Your Vote, Your Choice series! This week we get real about the fight for reproductive freedom and what’s at stake. We tackle the harsh reality of what happens when women’s reproductive rights are stripped away, and the ripple effect it has on all of us, especially marginalized groups. My guest, Alexandra Jamieson, is ready to cut through the noise. As an artist, coach, and the brilliant mind behind The Abortion Trading Cards and Fascism Tarot Deck, Alex shares her perspective on the consequences of losing access to reproductive healthcare. We also dig into her Instagram movement #NotADragQueen #NotATransPerson, break down the looming 2024 election, and Project 2025. Featured topics: The real-world fallout when abortion rights are restricted, from economic security to education (9:18) Why marginalized women get hit the hardest and why we all need to care (10:53) How Project 2025 could remove many rights and dismantle the Department of Education (28:14) Ways you can step up and support women’s reproductive rights in this critical moment (41:34) Don’t sit this one out—tune in to hear what’s really going on with women’s rights and how you can make a difference heading into the 2024 election. Learn more about Alexandra Jamieson: Artist, Coach, Multi-hyphenate. A renowned creative leadership expert, coach, and best-selling author, and artist-creator of The Abortion Trading Cards and the Fascism Tarot Deck. With over 20 years of experience, Alex has successfully guided executives in tech, finance, healthcare, and professional services by leveraging storytelling and positive psychology to inspire leaders with unique intersectional creativity. An Oscar-nominated filmmaker and Oprah Winfrey Show guest, Alex’s insights have been sought after by top organizations worldwide. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Alex on Instagram @deliciousalex The Abortion Trading Cards The Turnaway Study (book) The Brigid Alliance Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/womens-reproductive-freedom-with-alex-jamieson-your-vote-your-choice/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the final episode of September’s Women’s Financial Empowerment series, we're equipping you with the tools to make confident financial decisions and find your financial voice—divorce or no divorce. Financial guru Amy Bradbury, CEO of Empowered Profit, joins us to unravel toxic money mindsets handed down by the patriarchy and shares how to shift into an empowered, intentional approach to your finances. From demystifying financial literacy to bringing your kids into money conversations, this episode is all about taking back control. Amy delivers game-changing advice on how to ditch restrictive budgets in favor of a spending plan that works for you, especially when dealing with life’s unpredictabilities—like divorce or fluctuating support payments. She also reveals why no app will fix your finances and why gathering financial data is the key to making empowered choices. This episode is packed with actionable insights that will motivate you to take control of your finances and make informed decisions for your future. Featured topics: Reframing your money mindset and shifting to empowered financial thinking (6:14) Involving your kids in conversations about money, “[Society tells us] to not talk about money or sex with kids but we’re expected to show up as adults and be great at both of them.” (21:50) Creating a spending plan that’s flexible and realistic, not just a budget (23:43) Gathering financial data to make smart, informed, and confident decisions, “If you don’t have the data you can’t make any decisions. You need to gather the financial data first.” (25:08) How to create a spending plan when there are income fluctuations with things like divorce or support payments (28:10) Amy’s thoughts and advice on using tools for managing your money (hint: the answer isn’t found in an app!) (39:15) Learn more about Amy Bradbury: Amy is the CEO of Empowered Profit, a full service bookkeeping and tax agency, focused on working with female led businesses. Along with her team, Empowered Profit supports their clients with understanding their numbers so they can use that data to make decisions in their businesses and in their personal financial lives. Resources & Links: Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate  Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective Amy’s website Amy on Instagram @EmpoweredProfit Amy on Facebook @EmpoweredProfit  Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-291-finding-your-financial-voice-with-amy-bradbury-womens-financial-empowerment/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I am thrilled to welcome Nikki Tucker, speaker and founder of The FIIRM Approach, to dive into the complex world of divorce for high-income-earning women. Nikki, a Personal Financial Strategist, and problem-solver, is known for her work helping female breadwinners strategically exit their marriages and navigate the path to financial independence post-divorce.  Together, we discuss the unique financial challenges high-income-earning women face, such as managing assets, financial support responsibilities, and the critical role of prenups and postnups.  Marriage as a legally binding business arrangement is one of the most important conversations we're not having. “We place a lot of emphasis on the emotional and relational aspects of marriage. However, equally important—especially in divorce—is the business, transactional side of the relationship,” says Nikki. This episode brings that crucial conversation to the forefront. Featured topics: High-income earning women may be surprised to learn they could be responsible for paying spousal support (2:30) Should you consider a prenup or postnup? Learn how to protect your finances before, during, and after divorce (7:50) Is premarital counseling a smart move? Get insight into whether it can help set the foundation for a successful financial partnership (22:31) What unique dynamics should high-earning women keep in mind when navigating divorce? (31:58) Insightful reminders and advice, like: “You don’t need to be over-accommodating just because you're a woman with a high income.” (32:48) Nikki breaks down her F.I.I.R.M. Approach, empowering women to be Flexible, Intentional, Informed, Resourceful, and Masterful in their financial decisions (33:25) Learn more about Nikki Tucker: Nikki Tucker, a Speaker and founder of The FIIRM Approach, is known as a problem solver since her experience and time involves helping female breadwinners strategically exit their marriage and work on their new financial life post-divorce, as a Personal Financial Strategist. As a 20+ year financial professional, she firmly believes that all women deserve financial security and she enjoys teaching new ideas about money, and reinforcing sound ones. Nikki finds joy in connecting her clients to great resources to help them gain clarity, confidence and control of their finances through live workshops and digital resources. When she is not working with clients, she is eating amazing food and drinking an oat milk latte or a French 75. Her friends and those close to her describe her as reliable, honest and resourceful which comes in handy when she's working with women going through major transitions like divorce. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Nikki's website Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-290-navigating-divorce-as-a-female-breadwinner-with-nikki-tucker-womens-financial-empowerment/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're tackling one of the most frequently asked questions I get from clients: “How do I return to the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom who is now facing divorce?” Stacey Delo, CEO of Your Turn Careers by Après, offers expert advice on reentering the workforce, boosting confidence, and leveraging core skills honed during motherhood. Stacey encourages women to embrace their career gaps and highlights how staying home with kids can be a strength in your professional story. As co-author of Your Turn: Careers, Kids, and Comebacks—A Working Mother's Guide, she shares strategies for financial independence and landing roles that align with your expertise, interests, and aspirations. Join us for a conversation about building your financial future and reclaiming your professional identity! Featured topics: How patriarchal patterns are reflected in the workforce (6:00) Building confidence and owning the gap: leveraging your core competencies and soft skills learned during parenting (17:35) The journey of discovering what you want to do when reentering the workforce (24:03) Rebuilding confidence when you feel beaten down—remember, the skills you had before being a parent haven’t disappeared (33:00) Learn more about Stacey Delo: Stacey Delo is CEO of Your Turn Careers by Après, the premier site for women returning to work after career breaks, and co-author of Your Turn: Careers, Kids and Comebacks--A Working Mother's Guide (Harper Business 2019). She’s an expert in helping women navigate their careers, and in helping companies build strong workplaces to recruit and retain women talent. Stacey spent eight years as a journalist with The Wall Street Journal, where she was a multimedia reporter and the host of Digits, a live video program about technology. Prior to Digits she was a contributing correspondent for the nationally syndicated show CBS MarketWatch. In 2012, Stacey founded Maybrooks, a career resource for moms, which was acquired by Après in 2017. Stacey holds a journalism degree from Northwestern University and a masters from American University. Stacey is also known for her work on The Ford Heights Four case to overturn the wrongful conviction of four innocent men on Death Row. She has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show and other live shows in addition to having interviewed many Fortune 500 and startup CEOs in her work as a journalist. She lives in San Francisco with her husband and two children. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Stacey’s website Stacey’s book, Your Turn: Careers, Kids, and Comebacks TODAY’S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Surviving divorce is one thing, but surviving divorce with a co-parent who abuses alcohol is a whole different ball game. Soberlink is a high-tech breathalyzer system that sends you instant results of a co-parent’s alcohol levels. When your co-parent tests, their identity is automatically confirmed with facial recognition, and tamper sensors ensure no cheating has occurred. You then get instant proof that your kids are safe in their care. Court admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Help your family thrive in the new year. Visit www.soberlink.com/dsg to learn more and get $50 off your device. -------------- Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-289-careers-kids-and-comebacks-with-stacey-delo-womens-financial-empowerment/ -------------- DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Divorce can be a financial minefield, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Throughout September, we’ll be cutting through the confusion to help you take control of your financial future. Finances are often the hardest part of the divorce process for women. We’re often left feeling financially powerless—disempowered by a system that’s not built for us (more on that topic, in October). Here’s the truth: your path to financial independence is possible. This month, I’m laser-focused on breaking down the money issues women face in divorce. If you’ve had your head in the sand about your finances, that’s okay. The time for financial empowerment is now—without judgment, just clarity and strength.  Some of the topics we’ll be covering this month include:   Navigating financial challenges in divorce Clarity and control over what’s truly yours by understanding asset division Claiming your worth: spousal support and non-monetary contributions From Stay-at-Home to Financial Independence Strategizing your long-term financial future post-divorce And, so much more! Join us as we dive into empowering women through financial independence and support, before, during, and after divorce. Resources & Links: Private Coaching with Kate Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective The D-Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage Divorce Money Guide Episode Link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-288-womens-financial-empowerment-intro-to-the-series/ =================== DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices