The Divorce Course Podcast

🎧 Listen if… Your ex handled the money and you don't know what you own Your accountant is also your ex's accountant You're offered an investment property "worth the same" as the home Your ex says the business makes no profit There's a trust, company or SMSF and you're panicking ⚠️ General information only – not legal, financial or tax advice.  🛟 Discusses financial abuse.  Chartered accountant and tax agent Vanessa Bell (Bell & Co Accounting & Tax) explains what to gather before you leave, what happens when you share an accountant with your ex, capital gains tax and CGT rollovers, family trusts, Division 7A loans, business valuations, super splits, post-separation budgets, forensic accountants, and how to switch accountants safely. 00:00 – Accountants in Divorce: Is Your Accountant Also Your Ex's? 03:00 – Thinking of Leaving? The First Financial Steps to Take 05:00 – Divorce Documents Checklist & How to Store Them Safely 09:00 – Can One Accountant Help Both of You After Separation? 11:30 – Accountants' Ethical Duties & When to Get Your Own 14:30 – Locked Out of the Finances? What a New Accountant Can Access 16:30 – How Accountants Decode Your Ex's Financial Disclosure 17:30 – Building Your Asset Pool: Assets and Liabilities 18:30 – Capital Gains Tax When You Sell Everything in Divorce 20:00 – Latent Tax Liabilities: The Hidden Cost in Your Split 22:00 – CGT Rollover Relief & Family Home vs Investment Property 24:00 – Family Trusts in Divorce: Transfers, Tax & What Happens Next 27:30 – Division 7A Loans Explained in Plain English 29:15 – How a Business Is Valued in Property Settlement 32:00 – "The Business Makes No Profit" & Other Company Claims 35:30 – Is Splitting Superannuation Taxable in Divorce? 38:00 – SMSFs, Defined Benefit Super & Leaving With Little Super 40:30 – Post-Separation Budget & Planning for Future Tax Bills 44:00 – How Accountants and Family Lawyers Work Together 47:00 – Financial Abuse Through Accountants & Forensic Accountants 52:00 – How to Switch Accountants & Red Flags to Watch For 56:30 – Rapid Fire: The Biggest Tax Mistakes and Myths in Divorce 🎧 Episodes  Tech abuse with WESNET (Ep 310) – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/is-your-ex-watching-you-coercive-control-goes-digital/id1503451022?i=1000758578403 Financial abuse & coercive control (Ep 325) – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/financial-abuse-and-coercive-control-when-money/id1503451022?i=1000776879697 Business tricks in divorce (Ep 218) – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/business-tricks-in-divorce-10-sneaky-tactics-to-watch/id1503451022?i=1000733969897 Super split myths (Ep 196) – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/super-split-myths-why-equalising-isnt-always-fair-in/id1503451022?i=1000708394387 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732 | Lifeline 13 11 14 | Police 000 Free webinar – https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au  Vanessa's documents checklist get it by subscribing to our newsletter | Bell & Co Accounting & Tax – https://www.bellandco.com.au/ Tax Practitioners Board – https://www.tpb.gov.au

🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You've done the maths on lawyer fees and your stomach dropped - You want to do more of your divorce yourself but don't want to get it wrong - You've got a small property pool and full-time lawyers don't add up - You have a Legal Aid lawyer and want to help your case move faster - You and your ex are "amicable" and thinking of skipping the paperwork ⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. 🛟 This episode touches on family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. Lawyers charge around $500-$1000 an hour Mum and I talk about which hours you actually need to pay for and which you can do yourself.  00:00 – DIY Divorce: Which Lawyer Hours Can You Do Yourself? 03:00 – Why People DIY Their Divorce: The Real Cost of Lawyers 05:00 – Legal Aid Lawyers and Becoming Your Own Project Manager 07:00 – The Family Court Was Built for DIY (Safari Suits Included) 10:00 – Controlling the Pace: Deadlines, Cost Orders and Associates 14:00 – DIY Divorce With Coercive Control: What's Safe to Do 16:00 – Property Settlement Step 1: Your Asset and Debt List 17:00 – Disclosure Explained (and the Five Shopping Bags) 20:00 – Contributions, Future Needs and Your Percentage 22:00 – Negotiating Your Settlement: The Grocery Basket Analogy 24:00 – Consent Orders: Making Your Agreement Enforceable 25:00 – Why You Must Formalise It (Plus Stamp Duty Relief) 27:00 – Parenting Arrangements: From Early Days to a Plan 29:00 – Parenting Plan vs Consent Orders: Why Write It Down 31:00 – What You Can DIY: Divorce Application, Disclosure, Valuations 33:00 – Mediation Without a Lawyer: Save Your Money for Court 35:00 – Three Lawyers at Mediation, None at the Appeal 36:00 – Filing Your Own Consent Orders on the Court Portal 37:00 – The Two Lawyer Checkpoints You Shouldn't Skip 38:00 – "My Case Isn't Normal": Businesses, New Partners, Big Contributions 39:00 – What You Can't DIY: Binding Financial Agreements and Trials 43:00 – DIY vs Winging It: Kitchen-Table Agreements and Disclosure 45:00 – Get Organised: Email Folders and Disclosure Systems 48:00 – Vague Parenting Plans and How to Make Them Specific 50:00 – Advantages and Disadvantages of a DIY Divorce 55:00 – Can You File Your Own Divorce and Consent Orders? 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Worried About Your Divorce Lawyer? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/worried-about-your-divorce-lawyer-delays-bills-and/id1503451022?i=1000792296761 Do I Really Need a Lawyer? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/do-i-really-need-a-lawyer-for-my-divorce-or-defacto/id1503451022?i=1000769729536 Disclosure: The What, Why, When & How – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/disclosure-the-what-why-when-how-of-disclosure/id1503451022?i=1000608265425 Percentages in Property Settlements Explained – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/percentages-in-divorce-property-settlements-explained/id1503451022?i=1000729446519 Big or Small Property Pool? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/big-or-small-property-pool-how-size-changes-your-divorce/id1503451022?i=1000777815540 4 Ways to Agree (Ep 333) – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/4-ways-to-agree-in-divorce-or-de-facto-separation/id1503451022?i=1000783951018 🔗 Links & Resources DIY Divorce Blueprint + Family Court Companion Course waitlist – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Section 90 Family Law Act (stamp duty) – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s90.html  1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat"🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog

🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You've just found out your ex was cheating – and your lawyer doesn't seem to care - You're wondering if the affair changes your property settlement - You're combing through disclosure for gifts, hotels and a money trail - You're scared of being painted as the "jealous ex" in family court - Your ex's new partner is suddenly part of your kids' lives ⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. 🛟 This episode discusses emotional abuse, gaslighting and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. Mum and I unpack the question  "my ex cheated – does it actually matter?"  We cover wastage of joint money, proving the money trail in disclosure, negotiating while you're hurt (without swinging from give-up to revenge), the traps around kids and the new partner, and why your reaction – not their cheating – is what the court ends up watching. Plus the cases Gollings & Scott and Tajani & Tajani ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – My Ex Cheated: Does It Actually Matter in Divorce? 01:00 – From Private Investigators to No-Fault Divorce in Australia 04:00 – The Emotional Hit: Gaslighting, Paranoia and Flashbacks 06:00 – Two Separate Recoveries: Healing vs the Legal Process 08:00 – What the Court Cares About: Joint Money Spent on an Affair 10:00 – STIs and When Cheating Crosses Into Abusive Behaviour 12:00 – Before, During, After: When Affair Spending Counts 13:00 – The Judge's Range: How Conduct Can Lift Your Percentage 14:00 – Proving It: Gifts, Hotels and the Money Trail in Disclosure 17:00 – The Hat Trick: Separating Heartbreak From Strategy 18:00 – Negotiating While Hurt: The Two Traps 19:00 – The Pendulum Effect: Give Up, Fair or Everything 21:00 – Guilty Exes and Generous Offers: Grab Them or Not? 23:00 – Negotiating to Punish and the "Jealous Ex" Label 26:00 – The Five Stages of Grief After Betrayal 28:00 – Adjustment Disorder and Family Reports 30:00 – Co-Parenting With the Affair Partner 31:00 – New Partners in Parenting: Subpoenas and Safety Checks 33:00 – How Soon Is Too Soon to Introduce a New Partner? 38:00 – Don't Interrogate the Kids: The Car Ride Strategy 44:00 – Rapid Fire: Affairs Before, During and Under One Roof 45:00 – Onerous Contributions, De Facto Overlaps and Tajani & Tajani 48:00 – Two Property Settlements, Filing First and the Family Home 51:00 – Does a New Partner's Income Affect Your Settlement? 53:00 – The Biggest Takeaway: Adjustments, Not Revenge 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Are We De Facto? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/are-we-de-facto-what-it-could-mean-for-property/id1503451022?i=1000743246854 Property or Parenting First? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/property-or-parenting-first-does-the-order-actually/id1503451022?i=1000782876028 Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship  https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-vs-a-bad-relationship-how-to-tell/id1503451022?i=1000774925805 Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-domestic-violence-in-family-court/id1503451022?i=1000764231660 🔗 Links & Resources Family Law Act 1975 – Section 79 – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat" 🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog If this episode helped you understand what cheating does and doesn't change in your divorce, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side.

🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You dread every text from your ex and screenshot messages "just in case" - Your co-parent avoids, delays or denies every conversation that matters - You can't get a straight yes or no  - You carry the mental load of every reminder, newsletter and schedule - You've been told to "document everything" and want it done automatically ⚠️ General information only not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. 🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. unpack the co-parenting app that courts here actually trust.  ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Dreading Texts From Your Ex? Why You Need This Episode 01:00 – Meet Erin Green From OurFamilyWizard Australia 02:00 – Why Avoidant Co-Parents Stop Communicating 05:00 – The Amicable Trap: Becoming the Communication Manager 07:00 – What Is OurFamilyWizard? The Co-Parenting App Explained 08:00 – Uneditable, Encrypted Records vs Deleted Text Messages 10:00 – Calls Feature: Transcripts and Documented Call Activity 11:00 – Family Violence Orders: Calling Without Sharing Your Number 12:00 – The Shared Calendar and Change Requests Without Drama 15:00 – Expense Tracking: Invoices, Receipts and Proof for Court 17:00 – The Info Bank: Schools, Medications and Clothing Sizes 18:00 – Who Uses OurFamilyWizard (And When Courts Order It) 20:00 – Putting the App in Your Consent Orders 21:00 – Timestamped Messages: No Deleting, No Rewriting History 22:00 – Free Divorce Webinar With Laura & Lyn 23:00 – Court-Admissible PDFs and Professional Access 25:00 – The AI Writing Assistant That Flags Escalating Language 27:00 – Message Search + Safety for Survivors of Abuse 29:00 – Word Salad, Yes-or-No Requests and Coercive Control 31:00 – Check-Ins and Location Privacy After Family Violence 33:00 – A Tool, Not a Safety Plan: Tech Stalking Reminders 34:00 – What If Your Ex Refuses to Use a Co-Parenting App? 36:00 – Protection Orders, Mediation and Raising the App 37:00 – Fee Waivers for Family Violence and Financial Duress 38:00 – Defence Force Discount Explained 40:00 – OurFamilyWizard Cost: Essentials, Premium and Max 43:00 – Erin's Best Advice: Pause Before You Reply 44:00 – What to Embroider on a Cushion This Week 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Coercive Control and Your Kids – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-and-your-kids-how-to-protect-your/id1503451022?i=1000777679728 Co-Parenting With a High Conflict, Narcissistic or Avoidant Ex – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-how-to-successfully-do-it-even-with-a/id1503451022?i=1000559535573 Take the Divorce Personality Quiz – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/take-the-divorce-personality-quiz-learn-why-your/id1503451022?i=1000748290587 Is Your Ex Watching You? Coercive Control Goes Digital – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/is-your-ex-watching-you-coercive-control-goes-digital/id1503451022?i=1000758578403 Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need One – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/from-fear-to-freedom-creating-a-safety-plan-before/id1503451022?i=1000741625311 Co-Parenting Without Court Orders – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-without-court-orders-the-real-rules-and/id1503451022?i=1000735234386 🔗 Links & Resources OurFamilyWizard Australia – https://www.ourfamilywizard.com.au Fee waiver (via your lawyer, mediator or support professional): [email protected] Help using the app: [email protected] 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat" 🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog

🎧 Listen if you… - Keep hearing "you're not getting more than 50/50" from your ex - Are stuck yelling percentages at each other and getting nowhere - Feel greedy asking for what's actually fair - Want your proposal backed by real law before mediation   ⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer. 🛟 This episode discusses coercive control and duress. In danger? Call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).   In this episode we show you how to build your case the way the court does  contributions, then current and future circumstances then get your ex's buy-in fact by fact, and back it all with legislation and recent cases (including Mum's AustLII "note up" trick). Plus the mindset work, the "amicable" trap, and my cringe-but-effective strategy   ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 – Ex Says 50/50 or Nothing? How to Negotiate More 02:00 – Why Exes Refuse: The Win–Lose Business Mindset 03:40 – Mum's #1 Rule: Never Negotiate in Percentages 06:00 – The Court Case That Proves Percentages Backfire 07:30 – What the Family Court Actually Does in Property Settlement 08:30 – The Five-Step Property Settlement Process 10:00 – Big vs Small Property Pools: Why Adjustments Differ 11:45 – Is More Than 50% Greedy? When 50/50 Actually Happens 16:00 – Get Your Mindset Sorted Before You Negotiate 18:00 – "Who Died and Made Them Boss?" 19:30 – The Future Self Test and Negotiation Fatigue 21:00 – Why Wanting to Be "Amicable" Can Be a Trap 23:30 – Laura's Divorce Vision Board (Cringe but It Worked) 25:45 – Financial Contributions: The Polythene Pipe Analogy 28:00 – Non-Financial, Homemaking and Parenting Contributions 29:45 – Post-Separation Contributions and Common Shenanigans 32:00 – Contributions and Future Needs in the Family Law Act 36:30 – Putting It in Writing: Getting Buy-In Fact by Fact 38:30 – The AustLII Note-Up Trick for Backing It With Law 42:00 – When They Stop Negotiating or Lawyer Up 43:30 – Reframing the Deal: "50/50 of What?" 46:15 – Rapid Fire: Delete "Amicable", Say "Fair" Instead 48:45 – The Superannuation Equalising Trap and the Give-In Wall 52:45 – "I Won't Leave Until You Sign": Duress, Safety and 1800 RESPECT 56:45 – Embroider It on a Cushion: Your Fair Future   🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED Percentages in Divorce Property Settlements Explained – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/percentages-in-divorce-property-settlements-explained/id1503451022?i=1000729446519 Pitfalls of Premature Percentage Negotiations – https://open.spotify.com/episode/6bxTgrdymCeW16Q7z5njUe Big or Small Property Pool? – https://open.spotify.com/episode/697VeO4FrXQt9LYaabHtUC BATNA in Divorce – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/batna-in-divorce-how-to-negotiate-property-and/id1503451022?i=1000719715152 Coercive Control & DV in Family Court – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-domestic-violence-in-family-court/id1503451022?i=1000764231660 Super Split Myths – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/super-split-myths-why-equalising-isnt-always-fair-in/id1503451022?i=1000708394387 Convincing the Unconvincible – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/convincing-the-unconvincible-in-divorce-negotiations/id1503451022?i=1000526927752   📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | Police – 000 ⚖️ Family Law Act 1975 s79 – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au   If this helped, please follow, rate, review and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You have no idea what's happening with the kids this Christmas Your ex just announced their Christmas plans like it's already decided You didn't know there's a family court deadline in November You want Christmas clauses in your orders with no wriggle room Every handover is a fight and you're dreading the silly season   ⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law (WA differs). Always get independent legal advice. 🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) | Orange Door | Lifeline 13 11 14.   About this episode: What about Christmas morning? What if there are no orders and your ex announces the plan like it's done? Mum and I cover the family court Christmas deadline, what to do if you have no orders, your options; changeover on the day, alternating blocks, or letting Christmas fall where it lands and how to make sure your christmas plans have no loopholes   ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 – Who Gets Christmas Morning? 01:30 – Family Violence Warning & Disclaimer 03:00 – Why Christmas Is Chaos in Family Law Offices 04:00 – Your First Christmas Separated 05:30 – The Creep Strategy at Christmas 06:30 – The Court Deadline: Second Friday in November 08:00 – Why Christmas Isn't Legally "Urgent" 09:30 – Your Ex Just Announces the Plan? What to Do 12:30 – Propose a Child-Focused Plan in Writing 14:30 – Already in Court? Interim Applications 16:00 – Don't Poke the Bear vs a Dog Off the Leash 18:30 – Too Afraid to Ask? You've Been Trained 20:30 – Reasonable Question + Crazy Response = Proof 22:30 – Option 1: Changeover on Christmas Day 24:00 – Changeover by Divorce Personality Type 26:00 – Option 2: Christmas Eve–Boxing Day Alternate Years 26:30 – The Travel Trap in Christmas Orders 27:30 – Presents That Can't Travel: The Clause You Need 28:30 – Option 3: Let Christmas Fall Where It Lands 29:00 – How School Holidays Are Split in Orders 30:00 – Gazetted Holidays and Pupil-Free Day Traps 32:00 – Contact Centres at Christmas: Book Now 33:30 – Christmas Phone Call Clauses 35:30 – Handover Locations: Drive There First 38:30 – Do Kids Get a Say? 40:00 – Parenting Plan vs Consent Orders 41:00 – Why Exes Misbehave in December 42:30 – Non-Compliance and Enforcement 44:30 – Making It Watertight: Times, Not Descriptions 47:30 – The Lateness Rule at Handover 48:30 – No Wriggle Room & the Spirit of the Orders 51:50 – Your October Checklist 53:00 – The Notice of Intention to File 56:00 – Rapid Fire: Presents, No-Shows, Three Strikes 58:30 – New Partners at Changeover 1:01:30 – Plans for Every Divorce Personality Type 1:07:50 – Kidsmas   🎧 Episodes mentioned: The Creep Strategy Exposed (Ep 336) →  https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/domestic-violence-in-custody-battles-the-creep/id1503451022?i=1000788566797 Separated for the Holidays? (Ep 178) →  https://youtu.be/tdDduzuSK8I?si=3dUJ6YitO0TTXnFT Co-Parenting & the School Holidays (Ep 78) → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flibR76WrNc Divorce Holiday Survival Guide (Ep 224) → https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/divorce-holiday-survival-guide-how-to-communicate-when/id1503451022?i=1000740365814 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Orange Door | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free resources + DIY Divorce Blueprint (Module 3 parenting templates) If this helped you get ahead of Christmas, please subscribe, like and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You've sent emails and heard nothing back for weeks The strategy has completely changed without a discussion The family violence you disclosed isn't even in your affidavit Your lawyer is great at invoices but not much else You're thinking about leaving your lawyer but don't know the steps ⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law. Always get independent legal advice, and consider all aspects before deciding to leave your lawyer. 🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). About this episode: Bad lawyer, bad fit – or a good lawyer having a bad month? Mum and I walk through what a good lawyer relationship looks like, reasonable response times, why strategies change (and when backpedaling is a red flag), what to do when your lawyer minimises family violence, how to question a bill without feeling horrible, the repair conversation to have before you leave, and the exact steps to change lawyers without leaving yourself in the lurch. You're the client – it's okay to ask questions. ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 – Warning Signs Your Divorce Lawyer Might Be the Problem 01:00 – Why Family Lawyers Are Hardworking (And Human) 02:00 – You're the Client: Permission to Ask Questions 04:00 – Legal Disclaimer and Family Violence Warning 05:00 – What a Good Lawyer Relationship Looks Like 06:00 – What Your Lawyer Should Explain Without Being Asked 07:00 – A Good First Meeting: Chronologies and Probing Questions 09:00 – Over-Promising Lawyers and the Polaroid Analogy 10:00 – How Long Should You Wait to Hear Back? 11:00 – Busy Lawyer vs Neglectful Lawyer 13:00 – Never Miss a Court Deadline 15:00 – Radio Silence? The Email to Send the Principal 16:00 – Will Complaining Make My Lawyer Hate Me? 17:00 – Trust and Full Disclosure 18:00 – The Dot-Point Chronology Trick 19:00 – Illegal Activity and Legal Professional Privilege 21:00 – Section 128 Certificates 22:00 – Affairs, New Partners and Why Lawyers Don't Judge 23:00 – Strategy Changes and Backpedaling 27:00 – Defensive Lawyers and Letters of Advice 28:00 – When Lawyers Gatekeep Family Violence 29:00 – Section 43: Safety Over Everything 30:00 – The 2024 Reforms: Is Your Lawyer Up to Date? 34:00 – What a Normal Legal Bill Looks Like 35:00 – What You Can Question in a Bill 38:00 – The Repair Conversation 39:00 – Meeting the Principal and Testing Their Reaction 41:00 – Project Managing Your Case 43:00 – Leaving Your Lawyer: Pause the File, Check Timing 44:00 – Find Your New Lawyer First 45:00 – Outstanding Bills and Court Portal Access 46:00 – Rapid Fire: Second Opinions and Support People 48:00 – Step In, Step Out 49:00 – Is It Though? Why Questioning Is Everything 🎧 Episodes mentioned: Legal Gatekeeping: Is Your Lawyer Telling Your Full Story? → https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/legal-gatekeeping-is-your-lawyer-telling-your-full-story/id1503451022?i=1000666744026 Choosing a Family Lawyer – The Red Flags Not to Ignore → https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/choosing-a-family-lawyer-the-red-flags-not-to-ignore/id1503451022?i=1000555058558 Take the Divorce Personality Quiz → https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/take-the-divorce-personality-quiz-learn-why-your/id1503451022?i=1000748290587 Decoding Divorce Word Salad Legal Letters → https://open.spotify.com/episode/4qiOSiGK9yOrt0lEdqCudQ 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free checklists + DIY Divorce Blueprint If this helped you work out whether your lawyer is the right fit, please subscribe, like and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side

🎧 Listen to this episode if… Your ex is rewriting your shared history in lawyer's letters or affidavits Money is disappearing before your property settlement You suspect secret super, hidden cash, or crypto Your ex has turned your family or your own accountant against you The person who hurt you is now playing the victim You want to know these patterns are predictable and you're not alone You suspect your ex is a narc ⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law. Originally recorded in 2021 – laws may have changed. Always get independent legal advice. 🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) | Lifeline 13 11 14. About this episode: From the vault over 300 episodes back to one of the very first and most requested episodes we ever recorded. Mum draws on 35+ years in family law to open up The Narcissist Playbook: the 10 patterns she sees again and again with controlling and manipulative exes in divorce. If the playbook existed, it would have two chapters  "I only care about me" and "I tell lies." Once you can see the patterns, you can see the next move coming. ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 – From the Vault: Why We're Replaying The Narcissist Playbook 01:00 – Family Violence Warning & Disclaimer 02:00 – The Two Rules of the Narcissist Playbook 04:00 – Pattern 1: They Rewrite History 07:00 – How to Prove the Lies: Photos, Receipts, Credibility 09:00 – Pattern 2: Spending Money Before Property Settlement 10:00 – Add-Backs: How Wasted Money Gets Counted 11:00 – Pattern 3: Secret Super, Bank Accounts and Hidden Cash 12:00 – Crypto and Digital Wallets 13:00 – Positive Credit Card Balances and Gambling Accounts 14:00 – Pattern 4: Undermining You With Family and Kids 16:00 – Building Your Support Group 17:00 – Pattern 5: Playing the Victim and DV Cross-Applications 18:00 – Keeping a Diary of Coercive Control 21:00 – Pattern 6: Parent of the Year Transformation 22:00 – Toys, Trips and Trash Talk: The Cost to Kids 24:00 – Genuine Change vs Performance 25:00 – Pattern 7: They Re-Partner Almost at Once 26:00 – Recruiting the New Partner Into the Campaign 27:00 – When the New Partner Wakes Up: Witnesses and Subpoenas 28:00 – Pattern 8: Turning Joint Professionals Against You 30:00 – Get Your Own Accountant and Team 31:00 – Pattern 9: Claiming Credit for Your Contributions 33:00 – Why Judges See Through It 34:00 – Pattern 10: Reversing the Blame 35:00 – How Courts Catch the Lies 37:00 – New Court Rules: Responding to Their Affidavit 38:00 – The Ten Patterns Recapped 39:00 – Reviewer of the Month: Free 30-Minute Consult With Lyn 🎧 Episode mentioned: Finance and Financial Planners (with Pedro) 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free resources + DIY Divorce Blueprint ✉️ Questions: [email protected] or DM @thedivorcecourse ⭐ Review the podcast each month for a chance to win a free 30-minute chat with Lyn If this episode helped you recognise the patterns and feel less alone, please subscribe, like and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You've been told to "just get the house valued" but nobody's explained who, how, or what it costs Your ex reckons the house is worth a completely different number Your ex won't let a valuer through the door – or is stalling on purpose You separated years ago and don't know which date the house gets valued at You're heading into mediation and need a number that holds up ⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law. Always get independent legal advice for your circumstances. 🛟 This episode discusses manipulative and controlling behaviour. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). About this episode: You can't divide the property until you know what it's worth. Mum and I unpack appraisals vs valuations, the panel-of-three process for choosing a single expert valuer, the joint letter, the seven-day rule that stops a stalling ex, the dirty tricks people pull, and the date trap – your house is valued at mediation or trial, not the day you separated. Plus strategies for every personality type, from amicable to manipulative and controlling. ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 – What Is Your House Really Worth in Divorce? 01:00 – Why a Valuation Is the Foundation of Property Settlement 02:00 – Legal Disclaimer 03:00 – Why Property Division Is a Mathematical Exercise 04:00 – Rates Notices and Numbers That Don't Count 05:00 – The "Willing But Not Anxious" Test 06:00 – Appraisal vs Valuation: Why Court Wants One Number 07:00 – The Divide-By-Four Trick for Appraisals 08:00 – Selling, Keeping or Being Bought Out 09:00 – Consent Orders With a Formula 10:00 – Keeping the House: Agreed Number or Single Expert 11:00 – Dirty Tricks: Half-Finished Renovations 13:00 – Avoidant Exes Living in the House 14:00 – The Valuer vs Agent Tactic 16:00 – The Panel of Three: Choosing a Valuer Fairly 17:00 – The Joint Letter to the Valuer 18:00 – The Seven-Day Rule That Stops a Stalling Ex 19:00 – Single Expert Valuers: What You're Signing Up For 20:00 – Retrospective Valuations 21:00 – What a Valuation Costs and Who Pays 23:00 – Getting Your Ex to Pay 24:00 – What Happens on Valuation Day 25:00 – Falling House Prices and Timing 26:00 – Do You Need to Be There? 27:00 – Do It Before Mediation 28:00 – What If You Disagree With the Valuation? 29:00 – Shadow Valuers and Cross-Examination 30:00 – When the Valuation Comes in Below the Mortgage 32:00 – The Date Trap: Value at Mediation, Not Separation 33:00 – Building a Wastage Argument 34:00 – Falling Markets and Updated Valuations 36:00 – Why Court Won't Punish Market Timing 37:00 – Court-Ordered Sales and Auctions 39:00 – Rapid Fire: Mortgages, Equity, Selling Costs 41:00 – Valuing the House Without Your Ex's Permission 42:00 – Amicable and Avoidant Exes 44:00 – High Conflict: Single Expert Takes the Fight Out 45:00 – Manipulative Exes on Inspection Day 47:00 – Delay Tactics and Final Thoughts 🎧 Episodes mentioned: Renovations and Divorce:  📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free resources + DIY Divorce Blueprint waitlist ⚖️ Case: Woodland & Todd 

🎧 Listen to this if… Your ex keeps saying supervised visits are "going well" so it's time for unsupervised You got a  lawyer letter that says "this won't look good for you in court" You're being pressured into an agreement your instincts say isn't safe You've been told "you'll be accused of alienation" Your ex has done a online course and now claims they've changed You want to know what the courts are saying about supervised time and safety ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning This is general information only it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation. Always consult a lawyer about your circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. This episode discusses family violence, coercive control and child safety. If you are in danger, call 000. For  support: (1800 737 732). ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 – The Creep Strategy 02:30 – Separated Under One Roof 04:00 – What Supervised Visits and Contact Centres Are 06:00 – The Creep in Action: 09:30 – Pressure Tactics: Alienation Accusations & Court Threats 11:45 – Pressure From Your Own Lawyer 12:30 – Step-Up Orders 15:15 – Does Refusing Unsupervised Time Look Bad in Court? 17:00 – The 50/50 Myth Busted 19:15 – The Trap: Agreeing to Unsupervised Time 22:45 – An Ex Who Refuses Supervised Time 25:15 – Dorval & Augustin [2025]: 27:30 – Drew & Mason [2025]:  29:20 – Bergsberg & Hyde [2026]:  36:15 – When Step-Up Orders Are Appropriate 37:30 – Condition-Based Orders, Drug Testing 39:50 –You're Protecting Your Kids, Not Punishing Your Ex 41:00 – The Mediation Phrase 42:30 – How to Answer Pressure Letters 🎧 Episodes  Episode 141 – Decoding Divorce Word Salad Legal Letters: Episode 309 – Refusing 50/50 Care?  Episode 73 – Drug & Alcohol Abuse:  Episode 183 – Parental Alienation False Allegations:  📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast —www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog for links to cases