Open and honest discussions with wise and skillful teachers about their experiences with life, death, and Buddhism. If you wonder how others on the path have dealt with death and dying and grief, be sure to listen in. Everyone has a story, a perspective, and a valuable lesson to share. Embrace death, live a full life, and learn to love impermanence because nobody gets out of this alive.
Mary Stancavage: A Story of Letting Go
há 2 dias
30:41If you and I look at what makes us uncomfortable, that discomfort will show us where attachment lives. It could be things or ideas. Today with the help of Mary Stancavage we look at the should of self. As in I should be like this or that. Or if I am this way or that way, then people will like me. We cling to ideas of self, we cling to relationships because they are our identity. Because we are afraid of the alternative. Who am I if I am not this carefully constructed self that I have created and that I present to the world? And that can be really uncomfortable. And that means it is time to drop below this story, like dropping below the idea of being cool or different or fitting in, whatever it is that your self-image is doing for you. Ask yourself, "What is fueling that?" Somewhere beneath it all is the reason we are hanging on to this idea of who we are.
Learning to Embrace Discomfort: On Journaling Aversion
14:35I looked around the room, and there I saw him. Someone I had once worked with, a person who I felt had been purposefully difficult and disrespectful. I found myself thinking, “Ugh, why is he here?” And my immediate thoughts were not friendly or positive. Now, I understand, this was me experiencing aversion. Specifically, because aversion involves pushing something away. And that act of pushing something away is not really gently setting something aside. It is more aggressive. Fair enough, I know that my first thoughts at seeing this former colleague fell into the category of pushing something away aggressively – I really wished he was not at this same event with me. And with those thoughts came other forms of anger – because I recalled why I was not happy to see that person, and why I thought that he had been purposefully difficult and disrespectful. Clearly, I was hanging on to some hard feelings.
Gå ikke glip af nogen episoder af “Death Dhamma Podcast” - abonnér på podcasten med gratisapp GetPodcast.
Why Anger and Aversion Might Not Be So Different: Insights from Buddhist Teachings
15:02With attachment, we are only trying to get things that we want. And once we have those things, we don’t want them to go away. When we experience aversion, we push away (usually aggressively) the things that we dislike. Aversion refers to feelings of aggression, anger, and hatred. Let’s spend more time considering aversion as angry and aggressive. The Second Noble Truth states that there is an origin of suffering and that the origin of suffering is attachment to the three kinds of desire: desire for a sense pleasure (kama tanha), desire to become (bhava tanha), and desire to get rid of (vibhava tanha). To want to get rid of something. You may also have heard the three poisons discussed. Or the three unwholesome roots and these are greed, anger, and delusion. Well, the craving for sense pleasures fits with greed, while aversion is a form of anger. And that maps back to the definition of pushing something away aggressively.
Venerable Dr. De Hong: Childhood Trauma and Aversion to Self
43:45When your own parents do not offer you love and support, how do you come to a place of self-acceptance? If you go to school, bloody from being beaten, isn't reasonable to expect someone/anyone to ask if you are OK? And when they do not, you might just begin to wonder if there is something wrong with you. And aversion towards yourself takes root. Venerable De Hong knows about trauma. He left Vietnam on a boat. Overcrowded with others escaping a harsh regime, they sat in place for many days – with no food and maybe a tiny amount of water. Then at 18, he found himself in the United States, with $10, responsibility for his younger brother, unable to speak the language, trying to finish high school while working all night to pay for food and rent. Before this, Venerable De withstood tremendous amounts of verbal and physical abuse from his father. In between physical attacks, he was told that he was nothing and that was not worthy of an education, it is no wonder that Venerable De developed an aversion to his own appearance. On the list of ACE or adverse childhood experiences, Venerable De has lived through almost all of them. Spoiler alert, after going through his own suffering, he came through the other side. And now he uses his experiences and his story to help others.
Journaling to Uncover Craving and Clinging in Everyday Life
13:32What is the difference between craving and clinging? Craving is wanting. I want something. Looking back on the past few days, here are some of the things I have craved: Coffee, chocolate and other specific foods, solitude, time with friends, - yes, I crave both alone time and time with some of my special people, and when that gets out of balance, so do I. That in itself is probably worthy of future exploration. The reality is that this idea of balance that I have created for myself is not always going to be sustainable. Today, let’s continue with craving and clinging. We crave forms - sounds - odors - flavors - tangible objects - mind objects. Clinging means to hang on to something, to not want something to end. Or to be unwilling to let go of an idea or a practice or a thing. Four things we cling to - sensual pleasures, views, rituals and observances, and self, or thoughts of who we are. And today let's discuss how that recently came together for Margaret Meloni, as she shares a section from her attachment journal.
Unraveling Attachment: Exploring the Buddhist Teachings on Letting Go
12:21In our last episode, Dr. Seth Segall reminded us that when it comes to attachment, it is not about never having close human relationships. What are the teachings on attachment? Today, we look at some of those teachings. And spoiler alert, if your cravings control you, you will experience more suffering. If you control your cravings, you will experience less suffering. Is it really that simple? Let's explore some of the suttas on craving. In this way, we will build a foundation for our future discussions and contemplations.
Dr. Seth Zuihō Segall: The Myth of the Unattached Path
28:23There was once a man who gave away his children in order to prove that he could master letting go. When his wife returned home, she thought his approach made sense. But does it? What is it we attach to? We attach to sensual pleasures, ideas and views, rites and rituals, and our view of ourselves. Dr. Segall reminds us that for the most part, we are not told that we cannot be attached to people. It is about the intention behind those attachments. Human beings need other human beings to flourish. Together we discuss how life depends on attachment. And Seth reminds us all that there is a positive side to impermanence. As things change, on the way to let go, we grieve. (In case you wondered what all of this has to do with Death Dhamma.) In fact, Seth shares his own path to embracing the changes in his life and in his relationship with who he is today.
Journal with Me? Taking Stock of Clinging and Aversion.
19:40What good does it do to pay attention to our attachments? To look at our experiences with clinging and aversion? Well, for that matter what good does it do to meditate? To be with that arises and to gain insight? I humbly suggest that our practice is everywhere, on the cushion, in our experiences, and in our journals. What do I mean when I invite you to journal with me? I am asking you to join me in an experiment. You can participate as much or as little as you like. Me? I am all in. While planning for this season of the Death Dhamma podcast, it occurred to me. Clinging and aversion are all around us. At least as an everyday layperson making my way in this world, it is all around me. While learning from the dhamma, and from our wise teachers, why not engage in some active self-reflection? I think that I know some of my areas of attachment. Most likely I share them with many of you. I do want to be healthy. I do not want to be sick. I do want to age - well kind of, because it means I am still here I also want to have a certain level of fitness and ability as I age. As few wrinkles as possible, please. I want to have people I care about. I want them to care back. Pretty standard stuff. And if not handled well, it is going to lead to some suffering. You, see, just because I have gone through the deaths of quite a few of my loved ones, doesn't mean I am free from all attachments. What is the point of paying attention? Some might say, obsessing, is this paying attention over where and how I experience an obsession or a revelation? I hope it is the latter. Here it is, our first episode featuring the attachment journal.
Reclaiming Peace Through Connecting with Clinging and Aversion in Your Buddhist Practice
10:53Peace? What is peace to us when someone we love is gone? Going all-in with the Death Dhamma means really going to the source. I invited some of our wise teachers from season 1 to come back to the podcast and share their favorite stories or teachings about clinging and aversion. And one of them replied back to me, "Oh, so you are talking about the 2nd Noble Truth?" Yes, I am! The Four Noble Truths. They are the truth of suffering; its cause; its end; and the way to its end. Everything in this world is full of suffering, and the cause of suffering is craving. The end of suffering is nirvana. The way to the end of suffering is via the Noble Eightfold Path. Don't worry we will definitely visit the eightfold path at some point during this season. Is the truth of suffering front and center in your life? There is no time like the present to connect with what you crave and what you avoid.
Coming Soon Season 3 - But Don't Be Attached to it!
8:59It is almost time for Season 3 of the Death Dhamma podcast! Yes, it is true. The first episode is coming on January 30, 2023. In this short trailer, Margaret Meloni introduces the topic of attachment and why we need to spend time on stories of clinging and aversion and how they expose us to dukkha.