// DEEPER with Sjors Boelaars: Tantra, Shadow Work & the Path to Conscious Relationships

Hoe werkt dat eigenlijk: je verlangen inbrengen in je relatie?Wat we vaak tegenkomen:“Ik schaam me voor wat ik écht verlang... Die ander zit hier toch niet op te wachten?”Hoe voel je je verlangens überhaupt? Ze fluisteren vaak — en raken ondergesneeuwd door het beeld van de man die alles ‘moet weten’.Hoe ga je van je verlangen blind volgen naar bewust, helder en expliciet zeggen wat je wilt?En wat als je gewoon… niets voelt?In deze podcast duiken Jeroen en ik samen in die vragen.We onderzoeken de kwetsbaarheid van het niet-weten, de kracht van eerlijkheid, en hoe je als man in contact komt met je diepste verlangen — niet als trucje, maar als levenspad. We nemen je mee in verhalen, inzichten en uitnodigingen die raken aan de essentie van verbinding: met jezelf, je geliefde en het leven zelf."Hoewel wij mannen vaak de wereld vormgeven, wordt het stil als het intiem wordt. Dan blijken we stuntelig. Onhandig in het voelen én uitspreken van wat we verlangen."-- Jeroen“Vrijen gaat niet over seks. Het gaat om ontmoeten in waarheid. Het verbreden van het spectrum hiervan, geeft de ontspanning. Het haalt het doel er af.”-- SjorsSJORSSjors is coach voor mannen die dieper willen voelen.Zijn pad begon na een burn-out, na jaren vol succes maar innerlijke leegte.Extremen brachten hem een vol leven — maar tantra gaf hem blijvende diepte. Hij zoekt geen spiritueel ego, maar rauwe eerlijkheid en levendigheid. Zijn missie: mannen helpen thuiskomen in zichzelf en hun verlangen.JEROEN BIEGSTRAATENJeroen Biegstraaten is de man van www.mannenkracht.nl, waar hij mannen begeleidt naar vuur, broederschap en emotionele kracht.Hij is Taekwondo-meester, tantraleraar en specialist in systemisch werk. Zijn werk brengt mannen eerst in hun lijf, dan in contact met waarheid. Meer dan 15 jaar ervaring met lichaamswerk, sjamanisme en oosterse filosofie.Zijn boodschap: ware kracht zit niet in de dichtheid van je pantser, maar in de openheid van je hart.// DEEP RELATINGWil je meer diepte, vuur en échte verbinding in je relaties?Op 21 mei start Deep Relating — een 5-weekse online course voor mannen die de liefde niet langer op de automatische piloot willen leven.Wat je gaat leren:→ Leiderschap van binnenuit: stap in je kracht→ Emoties voelen, benoemen en inbrengen voor meer diepgang→ Doorbreek ongezonde relatiepatronen→ Verbindend communiceren: grenzen, verlangens, waarheid→ Make sex an art - met presence, speelsheid en overgaveMeer info: zie hier

Kom je na een lange dag thuis… maar lukt het je niet écht om te landen bij je partner?Alsof je fysiek wel aanwezig bent, maar emotioneel nog in de vergadermodus zit?In deze aflevering duiken we in de stille saboteur van diepe relaties: een hyperactief zenuwstelselWe verkennen waarom de moderne man structureel in fight/flight leeft, hoe dat je vermogen tot intimiteit ondermijnt,en wat je kunt doen om weer echt te voelen — niet alleen te functioneren.🔹 Waarom je brein niet gebouwd is voor 5000 connecties🔹 Het verschil tussen het sympathische (fight / flight)  en parasympathische (rest & digest) systeem🔹 Praktische tools om te reguleren (adem, beweging, inquiry)🔹 Hoe je dagelijks contact met je partner verdiept in slechts 5 minutenEen aflevering voor wie wil thuiskomen — in zichzelf én in de relatie.Dit is stap 2 van vijf. Wil je alle vijf de stappen ontdekken?Dan nodig ik je uit voor mijn gratis Masterclass:'In vijf stappen meer diepte, vuur & verbinding in je relatie'

Je houdt van je vrouw, maar het vuur lijkt langzaam te doven?Je hebt je leven goed op de rit — carrière, sport, de kinderen, alles loopt. Maar... hoe breng je meer diepgang in je relatie? Hoe maak je het weer sprankelend, écht levend?In mijn ervaring begint het vuur in je relatie met het vuur in jezelf.Wil je je relatie nieuw leven inblazen? Begin dan vandaag met je eigen binnenwereld opschonen.Hoe? Daar duiken we in deze podcast in.We verkennen:🔥 Numbing vs. Nourishing behaviours – Waar voed je jezelf, en waar verdoof je je eigenlijk?🔥 Hell Yes / Hell No – Hoe creëer je radicale helderheid in wat je wél en niet meer wilt?🔥 Concrete stappen om je leven – en daarmee je relatie – op te schonen.Dit is Stap 1 in een reeks van 5.👉 Wil je alle vijf de stappen ontdekken?Meld je dan aan voor de gratis masterclass:⁠⁠"Het Vuur Terug in je Relatie" ⁠

Jorn Vetter is een man die het leven met volle teugen geproefd heeft. Als onbesuisde twintiger opzoek naar een vol leven kwam hij als zanger van een hardrock band in contact met drugs. Hij was jaren verslaafd tot hij zijn weg terug naar zichzelf begon te vinden via zweethut ceremonies.  Na 10 jaar studie met verschillende leraren geeft hij nu wildernis tochten, ceremonies en coaching aan de hand van het medicijn wiel en de zweethut. Hij heeft zijn eigen plek gecreëerd in de Zweedse westkust en woont daar met zijn vriendin en kind. Vanuit daar organiseert hij tochten met zijn organisatie www.mountainmedicine.eu In dit gesprek: Wat is het medicijnwiel (de 4 windrichtingen als model van het leven) Hoe het medicijnwiel  te gebruiken als pad naar heling Hoe dit toe te passen in je eigen leven Over Sjors In mijn werk als coach, schaduwwerktherapeut en wildernisgids begeleid ik bewuste leiders naar meer diepgang in hun seksualiteit, emoties en relaties. De centrale vraag die ik stel is: wie ben je in je kern? Los van de façade, voorbij je conditioneringen. De programma's die ik ontwikkel brengen je in contact met die kern en geven je de tools om je leven vanuit deze authentieke plek vorm te geven. Ik werk 1-op-1 met diepgaande schaduwwerkcoaching, ben mede-oprichter van de wildernisretreats ⁠The Heroes Journey⁠ en geef leiderschapstrainingen aan executive teams. Voor meer informatie over mijn werk, bezoek: ⁠www.sjorsboelaars.nl⁠. WIL JE ZELF ERVAREN HOE HET MEDICIJNWIEL VOOR JOU KAN WERKEN? Je kan nu mee op reis met Jorn en Sjors: 4 - 9 Mei 2025 // SHADOW ISLAND  kayak expeditie in de Zweedse archipelago Een week lang trekken we met kayaks de zweedse archipel in. We reizen deze expeditie fysiek door het medicijnwiel. We zullen 4 eilanden aandoen, voor elke windrichting een. We onderzoeken de kwaliteiten van deze windrichting, en de schaduwkanten.  Reserveringen zijn nu open. Voor meer info zie hier. 

How your trauma isn’t a problem to be solved, but your accesspiont to your particular way of loving the world. A poetry infused exploration of two therapist diving into the beauty and limitations of trauma work. Topics in this interview: What is trauma therapy in general & Somatic Experiencing in particular? How to embrace your trauma, and not get lost in an addiction to fix it. How do the current crisises of the world (ecological, political, social) signal a deep unresolved stack of trauma, and how to heal this from the core (spoiler: it’s by trauma work) How accessing grief is a curcial step in processing collective and individual trauma How to create rituals for grief, and how this actually impacts the collective state of the world (yep, it’s all connected) About Daniel Rosenberg Daniel has pursued an unconventional education by immersing himself in the natural world, spending thousands of hours wandering through wild landscapes. He views trauma healing as a necessary step towards exploring the deeper levels of the self, rather than an end in itself. He draws inspiration from Bill Plotkin's Soulcraft™ practices and is committed to guiding modern folks back to soul. In addition to the SE™ training, Daniel has also been trained in dreamwork as well as deep imagination work and utilizes these modalities to help folks connect with Self. With personal experience that includes spending 40 days in solitary ceremony in the wilderness, enacting multiple solo wilderness fasts, and living off the land with only basic equipment in the jungle, Daniel seeks to apprentice himself to all that is wild, authentic, and free. He believes in the potential of Somatic Experiencing® to help people rediscover their human birthright of wild authenticity. To work with Daniel in therapeutic context (also online): https://wildsoulcounseling.com For his writings, see: https://danielrosenberg.substack.com About Sjors Boelaars In my work as a coach and therapist I guide conscious leaders to deepen their sex, emotions, purpose and relationships. See here for more info about my signature 1:1 Program 'Deeper'. I hold a master in Philosophy and am a certified 'Feeding your Demons' therapist (by Lama Tsultrim Allione). I combine modern tantric methods (based on Osho as though by Centre for Tantra in Amsterdam) with classical linneage practices (mainly Kaula Trika linneague) as thought by my main teacher Hareesh Christopher Wallis. More info about me and my work: ⁠www.sjorsboelaars.nl⁠ Insta: ⁠@sjorsboelaars⁠

In this episode we discover the multifaceted spiritual journey of an experienced teacher who will always be a scholar. An inspiringly optimistic soul despite his comprehensive awareness of darkness and chaos. We discuss his journey becoming the one giving spiritual direction through many years of practice, study, formation, and ascetical discipline as well as his callings on disparate steps on his way. We dive deeper into the differences and similarities between Indian, Tibetan and the Catholic Christian disciplines where we discover the fullness of authenticity of contemporary practice with nuanced cultural context of ancient practice. A deeply motivational acquaintance. “If I didn’t take the radical leap, then I probably wouldn’t make it all the way. I felt that strongly from early adolescence. I felt this drive. If I don’t really discipline myself and don’t really make sacrifices and push myself, I’m not gonna get there” - Father Brendan Ellis Williams, CMR About Father Brendan Ellis Williams, CMR Father Brendan Ellis Williams, CMR is a priest, monastic, yogī, spiritual director, writer, artisan, scholar and teacher of religion, Eastern and Western esoteric traditions, meditation and contemplative spirituality: chanting old rebel tales; tracing back song-streams of ancient wisdom; ferrying souls on the mythic riverways of human transformation; guiding folk from all walks of life back to their birthright of wholeness and freedom in unitive awareness. The central aim of his work, in all its iterations, is to help restore individuals and communities to wholeness: to facilitate a felt experience of reciprocal blessing and conscious interbeing in the great family of Nature, toward the one most needful end of the liberative awakening of all sentient beings. If you are seeking real depth and transformation in this life, It’s his honor and calling to share this knowledge with you. Read more and get in touch with him through his website: www.brendanelliswilliams.com And Father Brendan shares beautiful musings on Instagram. @brendan.ellis.williams About Sjors Boelaars In my work as a coach and therapist I guide conscious leaders to deepen their sex, emotions, purpose and relationships. See here for more info about my signature 1:1 Program 'Deeper'. I hold a master in Philosophy and am a certified 'Feeding your Demons' therapist (by Lama Tsultrim Allione). I combine modern tantric methods (based on Osho as though by Centre for Tantra in Amsterdam) with classical linneage practices (mainly Kaula Trika linneague) as thought by my main teacher Hareesh Christopher Wallis. More info about me and my work: www.sjorsboelaars.nl Insta: @sjorsboelaars

In this deep and powerful conversation with Lama Rigdzin Yudron we discuss the benefits and potential pitfalls on the path of meditation. How is it possible that so many people meditate, but we don't process process the all dark stuff? In her 30 years of Buddhist practice she has encountered many of the pitfalls you will encounter when you engage a meditation practice. Lama Rigdzin is a resident lama (priest) at the Tibetan Buddhist monestary Dag Shang Kaygu in the Spanish Pyrenees. She went through a rigorous ten year meditation training in Nepal to become a lama. Her experience includes an individual meditation retreat of 3 years, 3 months and 3 days, in which, for the record, she did not sleep. Questions covered in this interview: What are the benefits and pitfalls on the path of meditation? How to meditate? What phases are there? When am I ready for more advanced practices? What is the role of a teacher on the spiritual path, and how does that stabilize your practice? How is it possible that so many people meditate, but still after decades are struggling with the same things? (answer: spiritual bypassing) How to not get crazy along the way? “Meditation is not about trying to feel better” -- Lama Rigdzin About Lama Rigdzin Lama Rigdzin got on the spiritual path by accident. She and her newly wed husband didn't know where to go and ended up in India. There she met an Indian sage, a holy man, who asked her the question: are you really happy? This question rattled her bones and got her on the path of searching for true liberation. 30 years of dedicated Buddhist practice later she is now one of the resident lama's Tibetan Buddhist monestary Dag Shang Kaygu in the Spanish Pyrenees. She went through a rigorous ten year meditation training in Nepal to become a lama. If you have any questions about your meditation practice, you can contact lama Rigdzin here. About Sjors Boelaars In my work as a coach and therapist I guide conscious leaders to deepen their sex, emotions, purpose and relationships. See here for more info about my signature ⁠1:1 Program 'Deeper⁠'.  I hold a master in Philosophy and am a certified 'Feeding your Demons' therapist (by Lama Tsultrim Allione). I combine modern tantric methods (based on Osho as though by ⁠Centre for Tantra in Amsterdam⁠) with classical linneage practices (mainly Kaula Trika linneague) as thought by my main teacher ⁠Hareesh Christopher Wallis⁠.  More info about me and my work: ⁠www.sjorsboelaars.nl⁠ Insta: ⁠@sjorsboelaars⁠ Feeding your Demons Both Lama Rigdzin and me, Sjors, are certified Feeding your Demons counsellors. Feeding your demons is a shadow work practice in which you invite a part that is in pain (like a part of yourself that is afraid, angry, jealous etc) to explain what it really needs. Feeding your Demons combines ancient buddhist wisdom with contemporay western psychotherapy (Gestalt Therapy). We both give Feeding your Demons sessions, if you are curious, please reach out.

By: Sjors Boelaars   Everybody has his or her obstacles blocking direct access you your essence. For some it's fear, anger, resentment, sadness, for others it's a sense of elevation or feeling superior. All these elements can be blocking your ability to live your full radiant loving essence into the world.  The core of the 'Feeding your Demons' practice (and of tantric shadow work in general) is that we don't repress or deny these obstacles, but we use their energy for transformation. How? By not pushing away these parts of ourselves but inviting them to show their underlying need.  The core of ‘Feeding your Demons’ is that you don’t repress your dark sides, but invite them to unveil what they actually need. ‘We invite them for tea’, so to say.” — SJORS BOELAARS   What is Feeding your Demons?  In Feeding your Demons an ancient tantric method called Chöd is combined with the modern psychotherapeutic method of Gestalt therapy. The practice is devised by my teacher Lama Tsultrim Allione.  In the visualisation you will be invited to dialogue with subconscious parts of your psyche to learn what wisdom they carry and what they need for healing. You will investigate where the pain is held in your body, what the pain needs, and you will get access to the underlying wisdom.  NOTE: please don't do this visualisation without proper in person guidance if you easily disassociate (disconnect from the body)  About Sjors Boelaars Sjors is the founder of Tara Academy (www.tara.academy) and a certified Feeding your Demons therapist by Lama Tsultrim Allione. One of Sjors' specialisms is Shadow Work, which aims to transform reconnect us with the parts of our psyche that we sometimes are not proud of (eg. our anger, lust, fear).

Mindful masturbation. Jep, it's a thing.  In this practice you will learn maybe one of the most difficult things in life: going to the edge of an orgasm without giving in (for men that would mean ejaculation). But... why would you? Ejaculation and orgasm is the best part right? Well... it is and it isn't.  By training our body to be able to hover on the edge of orgasm without sliding into release two things happen: We disconnect having sex with the need to orgasm. This will result in less goal oriented love making and with that in more presence (and jep, with presence comes connection)  We expand the orgasmic capacity of our WHOLE body, instead of just the genital area. For who? This practice was originally recorded for men but it works beautifully for women too.  Enjoy! Sjors

Hey friends, Here is a live recording from the inner flute breathing.  Why you want to do this practice: In this practice you learn how to build up (sexual) energy in the base and spread it throughout your body. In this way you can transform the raw energy of the base into the more refined energy of the upper parts of the body. And also nice: you can spread the nice sensations of the genital area all the way throughout your body. Activating the orgasmic capacity of the whole body. Not a bad thing. How to do the 'Inner flute' breathing: Breathe in and out through the mouth Breathe in as if through a straw On the in breath, feel or visualise energy flowing into you body via your perineum Let the energy fill up the pelvic floor and the low belly Draw the energy up towards the heart and maybe higher to the crown On the out breath let the energy flow down and out of the perineum Optional extras to stimulate the energy flow: Rock your pelvis and arch your back on the in breath, let go on the out breath Close mula bandha (pelvic floor muscle) on the in breath, let go on the out breath Eye lock: When the energy passes between your eyebrows (third eye) look inwardly towards your third eye to push the energy up further Use your hands to guide the energy up and down Best practices: You can do this practice laying down or sitting up. This whole exercise thrives on the subtle balance of relaxation and engagement. Experiment and balance your natural tendancy. When you see you are working very hard, try to relax and don't do so much for a little while. When you feel you are drifting away, see if you can wake up your system with some fuller breaths. This practice works beautifully with gentle self pleasuring and massage.