150. Level Up Your Gift Game with Love Languages

When we pay to eliminate things, we pay for time and peace of mind. What are some ways you have used money to subtract things from your life? Show Notes:Chris Janson- Buy Me a Boat“Having money isn't everything, not having it is.” ― Kanye WestHappiness Through Subtraction by The Madfientist Nassim Nicholas Taleb defines Via Negativa as, “The principle that we know what is wrong with more clarity than what is right, and that knowledge grows by subtraction. Also, it is easier to know that something is wrong than to find the fix.Eckhart Tolle, the spiritual teacher who lived in a park for a year. “We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like” -Dave Ramsey Community Time:Want to take a sabbatical? Michelle is hosting her second Sabbatical Course with Toby! Learn about sabbaticals and join a community of like-minded seekers. Thank you Paul and Harris at HYPRfocus for your comments on 180. Dependency is NOT a Bad Word. Check out The Mangineer & PHarris on YouTube- They recently went to Landmark and found it life-changing!Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

In 2019, I moved into “Mummy Daddy”’s House to save BIG for my retirement. I recently got into FIRE and was looking for a way to cut down on housing costs while living in the Bay Area. Though I was on the fast track to early retirement, my parents were barely on track for normal retirement. The culprit? A low savings rate. My parents spent too much money on things they did not care about. The would regularly spend $300 on groceries at Costco despite both of them eating very little. When I realized that criticism was not working, I decided to help them calculate their net worth and spending. We found that outside of her 401k contribution, my parents were saving very little. They were also <40% of the way to retirement. Though initially defensive, they received the sobering message. My mom began listening to more finance podcasts and attending FI meetings in San Francisco with me. They learned how to save and invest more and I am proud to say my mom has hit and surpassed her retirement number in five short years! Their story made me appreciate that it is never too late nor too early to start preparing for retirement. A few small changes can completely change our retirement trajectories. Show Notes:7 top retirement tips: Retirement advice for every age by Wales Wealth Management GroupChoosing a Withdrawal Rate That Is Sustainable “The Trinity Study” Coast FIRE CalculatorThe ChooseFI Facebook GroupCampFICommunity Time:Thank you, Masha, Paul and Harris aka HYPRfocus for your thoughts on our episode on a Season of Yes or NOThank you Jennifer for your comments on the episode The 5 Parasocial People You Surround Yourself WithThank you, Ann, for listeningThank you Luca for being our biggest fan and podcast superspreader!Thank you Sage and Kate of the SoroPod Podcast for the shoutout! Be sure to check out their podcast especially if you are living in Charleston!Click here to check out AirHelp, our partner for this episode!The team at AirHelp can assist you when you have a delayed or canceled flight and want to see if you can get compensation for your inconvenience. You give them your flight information, and they talk to the airlines for you! Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

If you are finding yourself in an uncertain situation and wondering how to deal with uncertainty, this is the episode for you. Sammie and Michelle reflect on how uncertain life still feels in 2024 and share tips they've been using to deal with uncertainty. Show Notes:The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey Seven Ways to Cope with Uncertainty by Christine CarterThe Work of Byron KatieInsight TimerSame as Ever: A Guide to What Never Changes by Morgan Housel Click here to check out AirHelp, our partner for this episode! The team at AirHelp can assist you when you have a delayed or canceled flight and want to see if you can get compensation for your inconvenience. You give them your flight information, and they talk to the airlines for you! Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

If dependency is not a bad word, nobody told Michelle and me. Since we were children our mom has implanted us with the mantras: “You must be independent”, “Never depend on a man”, etc. Immigration to the United States of America probably self-selects for the most independent-minded people and we were brought up in an entire family of freedom lovers. Independence has served us well. We were eager to start working and provide for ourselves. We were eager to learn about financial independence. Did someone say we could be free from even outside sources of income? Count us in. So what’s the only problem with independence? The fact that none of us are truly independent. We rely on others for social support, mentoring, financial security, diverse perspectives, new ideas, inspiration, and more. In the book Attached, the authors discuss how depending on another person like a romantic person can provide security that can allow for more creativity and adventure. Ironically, the sense of safety that comes from relationships provides us with more freedom in our lives. This week Michelle and I discuss how dependence can be beneficial and how actions like being vulnerable and expressing your needs can help create a mutualistic relationship. Show Notes:Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel HellerCommunity TimeWhat do you think about dependence? Let us know on our substack!AirHelp: Partner For This EpisodeCheck out our partner for this episode, AirHelp. AirHelp is a part of the Association of Passenger Rights Advocates (APRA) whose mission is to promote and protect passengers' rights. Click this link if you've had a cancelled or delayed flight as well as support our podcast: AirHelp Affiliate Link. Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

What can the dying teach us about how to live our lives? This week we replay our episode with Doc G, a hospice doctor, who wrote the book Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor's Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life. Our conversation with Doc G inspired me to think about how I am living my life. I stumbled upon this article I wrote last year on my blog. At that time, I had just recovered from my thyroidectomy and I was thinking a lot about how I was living vs how I wanted my life to look. I had made a schedule of what my current week looked like and what my “dream week’ would look like. Listening to this week’s episode with Doc G made me appreciate how we can be so reluctant to change our lives even though those changes will make our day-to-day so much better. When I created this “dream week” schedule, I thought I was dreaming too big. There was no work in my schedule at all. Is that ok? Was it fair? Was it safe? Maybe I could live that way for a few months but not forever, right? When I read this piece again, I was shocked to see that I am living the dream life I imagined one year ago. Though it is cliche, life truly is short. We don’t have much time to waste being dissatisfied. Reflecting on my previous schedule, I can’t imagine giving up that much of my time today. As Doc G puts it, if you imagine yourself on your deathbed saying- I wish I had the courage, energy or time to… what comes after that? Show Notes:Taking Stock: A Hospice Doctor's Advice on Financial Independence, Building Wealth, and Living a Regret-Free Life By Jordan GrumetFind more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

I remember reading Shonda Rhimes's Year of Yes shortly after moving to San Francisco. In the book, Rhimes discusses how she spent a year saying yes to every invitation, request, and opportunity to play with her children that came her way. She found the experience brought her so much joy as well as new friendships and opportunities. What did I feel when I read this book? Guilt. I felt guilty because I did not want to say yes. I was tired. At that time, I had a total three-hour commute and loads of paperwork after the workday. The last thing I wanted to do was say yes to anything extraneous. Michelle and I have realized that life comes with seasons of expansion as well as seasons of contraction, seasons of yes, and seasons of no. In our seasons of yes we bring in new friendships, new hobbies, new opportunities, and new experiences. We remember these seasons fondly as times when we were exploring. Just as important is the season of no. Derek Sivers puts it eloquently in his piece “No yes. Either Hell Yeah! or no”. Seasons of no are about clearing the calendar, the mind, and the home. No to everything extra! Hell yes or no is minimalism applied to our lives. Our “no’s” create moments of stillness, quiet, and boredom where new insights and ideas grow and flourish. We see this with the collective calendar clearing brought on by COVID-19. Many people report they found clarity in their purpose and direction when they were forced to do less. What season are you in right now? Yes or no? What insights are you finding from this season of your life? Leave a comment at https://www.buildawealthyspirit.com/p/are-you-in-a-season-of-yes-or-a-seasonShow Notes:No yes. Either HELL YEAH! or no by Derek SiversYear of Yes by Shonda RhimesVeken Coffee Canister, Airtight Stainless Steel Kitchen Food Storage Container with Date Tracker and ScoopCommunity TimeI, Sammie, am saying no to extra spending!!! Is anyone else trying to reduce their spending? What things have you NOT bought lately? Comment below. AirHelp: Partner For This EpisodeCheck out our partner for this episode, AirHelp. AirHelp is a part of the Association of Passenger Rights Advocates (APRA) whose mission is to promote and protect passengers' rights. Click this link if you've had a cancelled or delayed flight as well as support our podcast: AirHelp Affiliate LinkFind more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

What if you could change from the negative to the positive without changing anything about your circumstances? No, this is not a multi-level marketing scheme! The key is changing our perspective. I remember when I was in my early twenties I would rarely have more than a few hundred dollars and I never felt any scarcity about this. When I think back on this I’m shocked. A flat tire, a broken arm, an unexpected night at a hotel could have demolished all my wealth, and yet I was walking around with no sense of insecurity. Reflecting on my twenty-year-old self, I realized that our sense of financial security exists solely in our minds. What if I could re-channel the abundance mindset that I naturally carried in my twenties? This week Michelle and I discussed strategies to change our perspective so we can radiate abundance and draw in all forms of wealth. Here are our strategies:Change the stories you tell yourselfMake and keep a list of everything you have manifested, positive blessings, even the little thingsHave Gratitude Show Notes:If you live in Charleston, check out Chris’ Manifestation group here!My new deodorant that smells like a sugar cookieTony Robbins’ Netflix Documentary: I Am Not Your GuruMerlin Birding App“Chain glow like Hallelujah” Megan Thee StallionCommunity TimeThank you Harris HYPRfocus and Paul for sharing your five parasocial relationships! Thank you, Aloni for your tweet about our last episode and the Merlin App. AirHelp: Partner For This EpisodeCheck out our partner for this episode, AirHelp. AirHelp is a part of the Association of Passenger Rights Advocates (APRA) whose mission is to promote and protect passengers' rights. Click this link if you've had a cancelled or delayed flight as well as support our podcast: AirHelp Affiliate LinkFind more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

Here are the 5 parasocial relationships I have decided to surround myself with: At Home with Byron Katie PodcastTony Robbins Podcast Eckhart Tolle: Essential TeachingsAudiobooks, currently Not Nice and Map of Consciousness Oprah's Super Soul PodcastCheck out the HYPRfocus Podcast by our previous guest Harris! If you like self-optimization and hearing inspiring stories about other people’s lives you will love Harris’ podcast Hyprfocus- she's hilarious and insightful. Show Notes:Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. At Home with Byron Katie Community TimeThank you Greg for sharing your kind words about the podcast and your takeaways from our episodes. This means so much to us. Masha has been sending us great feedback from our episodes! She brought up a great point from our Sabbaticals vs FIRE episode, how do entrepreneurs take sabbaticals? What do you think? Comment below with any advice and we will share it on the podcastThank you Harris and Paul for complimenting our law of attraction episode. Thank you Vinamrata for your thoughts on our episode on Byron Katie. Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

Law of Attraction is a great way to start visualizing and manifesting your dreams. However, sometimes we are blocking ourselves without even realizing it. Sammie and Michelle dive into Law of Attraction, how to clearly visualize what you want and blockers they ran into. Show Notes:Legally BlondeThe Secret by Rhonda ByrneJim Carrey interview with Barbara Walters Finance Friday: Using Student Loan Forgiveness to Catapult FI w/ Sammie | Bigger Pockets Money 186: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iJ6v11yDkoLaw of Attraction Meditation by Andrew JohnsonMerlin Bird App--Check out our partner: Click here to try AirHelp!Find more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!

Show Notes:Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover TawwabNot Nice by Aziz Gazipura The Alchemist by Paulo CoelhoCommunity TimeEpisode 173. Clearing the Mind: Using Byron Katie's Inquiry to Banish Negative JudgementsIDR WAIVER EXTENSION: Payment Count Adjustments Toward Income-Driven Repayment and Public Service Loan Forgiveness ProgramsAirHelp: Partner For This EpisodeCheck out our partner for this episode, AirHelp. AirHelp is a part of the Association of Passenger Rights Advocates (APRA) whose mission is to promote and protect passengers' rights. Click this link if you've had a cancelled or delayed flight as well as support our podcast: AirHelp Affiliate LinkFind more show notes and interact with the Build A Wealthy Spirit community at buildawealthyspirit.com!