173. How Do I Become a Better Man? | Larry Hagner on Maturity, Leadership, Marriage & Fatherhood
How do I become a better man? How do I develop the maturity, confidence, and integrity to lead myself well, build stronger relationships, and become the man God created me to be?In this episode of the Secret Habit Podcast, Shawn Bonneteau sits down with Larry Hagner, founder of The Dad Edge and best-selling author of The Pursuit of Legendary Fatherhood, to explore what it actually means to mature as a man. They discuss male loneliness, meaningful friendships, self-leadership, marriage, fatherhood, faith, and the personal growth required to become a stronger and more emotionally grounded man.Larry introduces the idea of "the drift" - the gradual disconnection that can happen when men become consumed by work, family responsibilities, and everyday life. Many men spend their time moving between work and home without building the meaningful friendships and relationships that challenge them to grow. Over time, their personal development, emotional health, and sense of purpose can begin to suffer.But becoming a better man isn't about becoming a macho man, working harder, or simply adding more responsibilities to your life. It's about learning to lead yourself, recognizing where you're stuck, keeping your word, and being willing to pursue growth even when it's uncomfortable.One of the most powerful moments in this conversation comes when Larry shares a very personal experience with pornography temptation. Despite having been free from pornography for a long time, he describes an intense temptation he experienced just hours before the interview. He explains how he turned to Jesus, acknowledged that he couldn't overcome it alone, and experienced the power of surrender rather than trying to fight through it by himself.Shawn and Larry also explore what it means to create psychological safety in your relationships. Larry shares practical examples from his own parenting, including how to respond when your children come to you with something difficult, how to have challenging conversations, and how to make the people closest to you feel seen, heard, and safe.Whether you're struggling with pornography, feeling disconnected from other men, navigating marriage, or simply wanting to become a better husband, father, and leader, this conversation offers a powerful reminder that maturity is something we continually pursue.In this episode, we explore:What it actually means to become a mature manWhy so many men experience loneliness and lack meaningful friendshipsWhat Larry means by "the drift" and how men gradually become disconnectedWhy growth often requires discomfort and the cost of doing nothingHow keeping your word builds confidence and self-trustWhy self-leadership must come before leading othersHow to respond to pornography temptation through surrender and faith in JesusWhy trying to manage addiction isn't the same as learning to lead your inner worldWhat psychological safety means and why people need to feel seen, heard, and safeHow to have difficult conversations with your children without creating shameHow to balance strength, empathy, and healthy boundaries in marriageThe difference between the people-pleasing nice guy and a man who leads with confidenceHow faith, relationships, and intentional personal growth contribute to lasting transformationTake the next steps with your recovery:*Take the free Heart Hunger Clarity QuizDiscover what your heart may be hungry for and gain a clearer understanding of the deeper patterns driving your struggles with pornography.https://secrethabit.ca/quiz/*Get Larry's book: The Pursuit of Legendary FatherhoodExplore Larry's practical guide to becoming a better husband, father, and leader.https://thedadedge.com/legendary-fatherhood-book/*Explore coaching with Shawn: https://secrethabit.ca/Watch the interview on Youtube: https://youtu.be/15BPEfh5pTM
