Radical Self-Care series

Reflections on hope – hope for attaining a better world.

In this episode, I explore deep listening. Too often, listening is an act observed in the breach—people listen less to understand and more to reply, critique, or dismantle. We rush to respond, to showcase our point of view, to close a deal, or to flaunt our knowledge. But Deep listening will make for a better society. It fosters stronger relationships, healthier households, more cohesive communities and more dynamic civil society organisations. Deep listening – consistently practicing it – can make you more insightful, positively transform your relationships, and generally make you a better human being.

One of the deep human needs is for significance. Significance relates to that quality of meaningfulness. It appears to come from the outside, but actually, it is a feeling and sense that must be achieved deep within the self. When the person attains it, he or she has a clear sense that they value themselves and are valuable. It relates to a positive self-concept. Some strive for it through external validation; others seek it through appreciation of their goals, their values, or their uniqueness. Yet others realise it through a positive connection between themselves and community and in the way they add value to the community.

We are so much more than our mistakes. Our flaws are not the totality of who we are. Forgive yourself. Rekindle your confidence, highlighting the parts of you that shine and give light to others. By doing so, you create optimal positive energy to move forward.

Forgiveness is a powerful way of dealing with the friction and hurt that can arise in relationships with others. It is about making life’s load lighter. It revolves around generating positive energy to face the future. Thinking of forgiveness this way means it has less to do with the other person. It has more to do with finding one’s own peace and strength. Forgiveness – when you can and when you are ready – is a way of moving towards a lightness of being.

In working with colleagues, family members or buddies on a project, be aware of different levels of enthusiasm. Be aware of your own level of interest. And be alert enough to detect the others' interest levels. If you are a mover and shaker, instead of merely being frustrated with those who are lukewarm, speak to them. Discuss how they could become more interested and more involved. Clarifying levels of interest leads to clearer expectations – and such clarity brings peace.

What does taking a stand have to do with self-care? Taking a stand is part of a positive outlook. Doing so can anchor you in new ways and positively realign your inner light. We can draw from historical figures who have combined a deeper sense of self with taking a stand. This episode discusses several key points involved in taking a stand.

The idea of a hero's journey was coined by Joseph Campbell. In his concept, the hero hears the call, faces obstacles, perseveres and, in the end, discovers something really meaningful and important. How can this idea inspire you? Can it stir you to take your own life story to new levels?

Work dynamically and consciously with fear, converting your response to a forward movement that is empowering. Fear is a reality, especially in difficult times. It is disempowering and draining. Chronic fear can be ruinous to our health. Fear can also spread and grow at community level, causing collective paralysis or sowing division. But if we work through the fear, we can find new and interesting ways forward. It all starts with small, deliberate actions.

Strengthening your internal locus of control can lead to more positive outcomes. You have a greater sense that what you do matters. Through using an internal local of control, even in times of change an uncertainty, you can be a more positive influence in your life and in the world.