Life Uninhibited - The Enneagram 6 Podcast

Sixes, have you ever noticed that when you're stressed, exhausted, or overwhelmed, everyone around you suddenly seems a little more annoying? And maybe, just maybe, you're a little more annoying too? 😅 In this episode of Life Uninhibited, I'm sharing a simple way to use your Enneagram knowledge to make stressful seasons just a little bit easier. I'm recording this at the end of marching band season, and let me tell you, everyone is TIRED. We've spent months working hard, managing responsibilities, and making seemingly impossible things happen. And when people are running on limited capacity, their personality patterns become much more obvious. The Ones are being very One-ish. The Twos are Two-ing. And this Six? She's definitely Six-ing. Here's the thing: When our capacity goes down, our personality patterns tend to ramp up. We become more rigid in our thinking, more reactive, and more likely to get caught up in the familiar strategies we use to navigate life. And when everyone around us is doing the same thing, it's easy to take their behavior personally. But what if we could add a little context? What if, instead of immediately reacting to someone's behavior, we could recognize that they're stressed, exhausted, or operating with fewer internal resources than usual? And what if we could offer ourselves that same understanding? In this episode, we're talking about: Why our Enneagram patterns become more pronounced during stressful times How exhaustion and overwhelm affect our capacity to respond thoughtfully Why we tend to take other people's behavior personally How understanding someone's circumstances can create more compassion Why not taking things personally doesn't mean giving up your own agency How to recognize when your own personality patterns are becoming more rigid The difference between using self-awareness for understanding and using it to criticize yourself Why adding context creates more room for productive thinking and choice How a little perspective can make difficult interactions easier The goal isn't to excuse everyone's behavior or pretend that nothing bothers us. And it's definitely not to use the Enneagram as another reason to criticize ourselves. The goal is to create a little more room. A little more perspective. A little more grace. A little more ability to choose how we want to respond. Because sometimes, making life easier doesn't require changing everything that's happening around us. Sometimes it starts with understanding the context we're all operating in. If you have a question about the Enneagram or something you're navigating as a Six, send it to me through the link in the show notes. I'd love to answer listener questions in an upcoming episode! Helpful Links: Learn more about Uninhibited HERE Schedule your Uninhibited Consultation HERE You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching  

 Sixes, how often do you tell yourself what you SHOULD be doing? I should be more productive. I should know what to do. I should be doing more for my family. I should make the right decision. I should be handling this differently. For Sixes, shoulds and rules can become such a normal part of our internal experience that we don't even notice how much they're directing our lives. And there's a good reason for that. Our Six brains love predictability, reliability, and guidance. Rules and expectations help us feel like we're doing the right things, avoiding mistakes, and staying connected to the people and structures we depend on for support. But there's a problem. When we're constantly living by what we think we SHOULD do, we can lose touch with what we actually WANT to do. In this episode of Life Uninhibited, we're exploring the relationship between shoulds, rules, and the Type Six personality—and why something as simple as changing one word can create a surprisingly different internal experience. We'll talk about: Why Sixes naturally look for rules, guidelines, and structure How our fear of being without guidance influences our decisions Why Sixes can simultaneously want rules and rebel against them How internal shoulds can conflict with our own desires Why we sometimes feel trapped by choices we're actually making ourselves How the language we use affects our bodies and emotions The difference between telling yourself "I should" and "I could" How accessing choice can help us move toward more productive thinking I'll also walk you through a simple exercise you can start practicing immediately. The next time you catch yourself thinking, "I should..." try replacing it with: "I could..." Notice what happens. Notice how your body responds. Notice whether that small shift creates a little more space for choice. Because Sixes, we spend so much time responding to our internal rules that we can forget we're allowed to make decisions about our own lives. And sometimes, a different experience begins with a different word. I'm also planning a new recurring podcast segment where I'll answer your questions about the Enneagram and using it in your life. If there's something you'd love me to explore, send me your question through the contact link in the show notes! Helpful Links: Learn more about Uninhibited HERE Schedule your Uninhibited Consultation HERE You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

 Sixes, have you ever learned something about yourself, had a huge moment of clarity, and thought, "Okay, NOW things are going to be different"? You finally understand why you do what you do. You recognize the pattern. You know what needs to change. And then... You keep doing the same thing. 😬 What gives? In this episode of Life Uninhibited, we're talking about why change is so dang hard, even when we have all the insight, understanding, and information we think we need. Because here's the thing: Knowing something doesn't automatically mean we can live differently. Our personality systems are designed to keep us operating in familiar ways. And for Sixes, change brings something our systems work very hard to avoid: uncertainty. We don't know how things will turn out. We don't know how people will respond. We don't know whether we'll get the outcome we're hoping for. So even when we genuinely want something different, there's a powerful pull to stay exactly where we are. In this episode, we're exploring: Why insight and understanding don't automatically create change How our personality patterns work to keep things familiar Why Sixes can become frustrated with themselves for not implementing what they already know How uncertainty makes change especially difficult Why our desire for something different has to outweigh our subconscious pull to stay the same How knowing what really matters to us can help us move forward Why we sometimes convince ourselves we don't know what we want What my own experiences with marriage, motherhood, and building a coaching business have taught me about change Why focusing on one meaningful area of life can be more powerful than trying to change everything How the courage we've used for other people can help us pursue what matters to us I also want to offer you a different way to think about the work of personal growth. Instead of asking yourself why you haven't changed everything you already know how to change, consider this: What matters enough to you that you're willing to experience some uncertainty and discomfort to pursue it? You don't have to overhaul your entire life. You don't have to implement every insight you've ever had. But you can choose something that deeply matters to you and begin doing the work to create a different experience. And that kind of change is worth pursuing. Helpful Links: Learn more about Uninhibited HERE Schedule your Uninhibited Consultation HERE You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

Sixes, have you ever brought a problem to someone, only to feel even more frustrated when they didn't respond the way you wanted? Maybe they tried to fix it. Maybe they offered another perspective. Maybe they didn't seem nearly as concerned as you were. And suddenly, you're even MORE upset. What's going on there? In this episode of Life Uninhibited, we're exploring the function of emotional expression and why Sixes can have such a strong need for other people to understand—and sometimes even match—what they're feeling. As part of the Enneagram's reactive (or expressive) triad, Sixes often process emotions outwardly. But what feels like discussing a problem may actually be an unconscious attempt to regulate an uncomfortable internal emotion. And when someone doesn't respond the way we expect? We might turn up the intensity. Repeat ourselves. Explain the problem again. Ask more questions. Or become frustrated that the other person doesn't seem to understand. In this episode, we explore: Why Sixes are part of the emotionally expressive triad The three emotional regulation patterns: expressing, containing, and reframing Why Sixes often process their emotions through other people How an uncomfortable feeling can quickly become a story about an external problem Why we sometimes intensify our emotions when someone doesn't respond as expected How seeking validation can create conflict in our relationships Why reassurance-seeking and confrontation can serve similar functions How our emotional expression can unintentionally leave others feeling pressured The difference between healthy emotional expression and needing someone else to regulate our feelings Why learning to experience emotions in our bodies creates more room for productive thinking and choice Emotional expression isn't a flaw. It's a valuable part of how Sixes move through the world. But when our ability to feel okay depends on someone else agreeing with us, understanding us, or matching our emotional intensity, we can find ourselves stuck in painful relationship patterns. The work isn't to stop expressing our emotions. It's learning to recognize, feel, and navigate those emotions ourselves—so we can bring more awareness, choice, and connection into our relationships. Helpful Links: Learn more about Uninhibited HERE Schedule your Uninhibited Consultation HERE You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

Sixes, do you ever feel like you just need a little more information before you can move forward? One more question answered. One more conversation. One more piece of research. One more explanation for why something happened. And then, finally, you'll feel ready. But what if the information isn't actually what you're looking for? In this episode of Life Uninhibited, we're exploring the function of needing to know and why this familiar Six pattern can keep us searching for answers long after we have enough information to move forward. For Sixes, knowing can create a brief sense of certainty. That wonderful feeling of: "Oh, that makes sense. Now I understand." But the problem is that our minds don't always recognize when we've reached enough. So we keep asking, checking, researching, and trying to understand. Not necessarily because we need more information, but because we don't trust ourselves to handle what we don't know. In this episode, we explore: Why Sixes have such a strong desire to know what's happening and why How information creates temporary feelings of security and certainty Why our internal "enough meter" doesn't always recognize when we have enough information How doubt keeps us asking more questions Why not knowing can feel like a threat The connection between needing to know and trusting ourselves to handle life How personal insight can become another Six pattern Why understanding your patterns doesn't automatically change them The difference between gaining insight and building the capacity to tolerate uncertainty How to become more comfortable with not having all the answers Kristin also shares a familiar example: receiving a text that says, "We need to talk." For a Six, those four words can create an immediate need to know what's coming. But what if you could receive that message and allow yourself to not know? Not because you've convinced yourself everything will be fine. But because you've developed the capacity to handle the uncertainty. The goal isn't to know everything before you can live your life. It's learning that you can meet life as it comes, even when you don't know what's next. Helpful Links: Learn more about Uninhibited HERE Schedule you Uninhibited Consultation HERE You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

Sixes, what if courage doesn't mean what you think it means? We tend to think of courage as something we DO. Speak up. Take the risk. Have the conversation. Do the scary thing. But for Sixes, doing something that looks brave isn't necessarily courage at all. Sometimes charging toward something is actually another way we're trying to escape the discomfort of uncertainty. So what does courage actually look like for a Six? In this episode of the Foundations Series, we're exploring courage as the virtue of Type Six—and as an internal experience rather than an outward behavior. Courage isn't finally feeling certain. It isn't getting rid of your fear. It isn't knowing exactly what to do. It's being able to look inward and recognize: I have more resources available to me than my fear is allowing me to see right now. Because our fixation loves to tell us: I don't know enough. I don't have enough. I need more information. I need another plan. I need more support. I can't handle this. Courage interrupts that loop. It helps us recognize when our patterns are patterning, shift our internal state, reconnect with ourselves, and ask a completely different question: What do I already have to bring to this situation? In this episode, we explore: Why courage is the virtue of Type Six The difference between courage and simply doing something "brave" Why bold or confrontational behavior isn't necessarily courage How Sixes can use action to escape uncertainty Why courage begins with questioning what your fear-filled brain is telling you How our fixation convinces us we don't have enough Why changing your state matters before trying to think your way through a problem Why courage does NOT mean fear disappears How to move forward with fear and uncertainty still present What it means to stay connected to yourself How to recognize the resources you've already built over a lifetime Why Sixes don't need to make themselves smaller—or pretend to have all the answers You don't have to wait until you feel certain to move forward. You don't have to eliminate fear before you can access courage. Courage is being able to say: I don't know what's going to happen. I don't have all the answers. I'm still afraid. And I trust that I have something valuable to bring to whatever comes next. Helpful Links: Learn more about Uninhibited HERE Schedule you Uninhibited Consultation HERE You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

Sixes, let's talk about authority and control. Because here's where things get interesting: We can spend a lot of time looking outside ourselves for someone or something that seems to know what to do... and then turn around and become VERY certain about what everyone else should be doing. 😬 In this episode of the Foundations Series, we're looking at the function of authority seeking and control—and why, for Sixes, these two things are more connected than they might initially seem. An authority isn't necessarily a boss, teacher, pastor, or someone officially "in charge." It can be a mentor. A doctor. A rule book. A set of guidelines. A spiritual framework. An expert you've been researching. A partner or friend whose opinion you always check. Essentially, authority can be anything outside of you that helps hold uncertainty for you. But then something interesting happens. We gather information, frameworks, advice, and guidance from outside ourselves...and sometimes bring it back into our lives as: "Okay. THIS is what needs to happen." Suddenly, we're the authority. And we may not even realize we're doing it. In this episode, we explore: Why Sixes seek authority in the first place What actually counts as an "authority" How external authority can help hold uncertainty for us The connection between authority seeking and control Why Sixes may not recognize themselves as controlling How our "shoulds" get directed toward ourselves AND other people Why rebellion and questioning authority are still connected to authority seeking How Sixes can scan trusted authorities for flaws, hypocrisy, or hidden agendas Why perceived future problems can feel like present-day threats How trying to prevent every future problem creates more stress Why control is ultimately an attempt to manage uncertainty Our patterns aren't flaws. They're trying to protect us from an experience we don't believe we can handle. And for Sixes, so much of this comes back to one incredibly difficult reality: We cannot control what happens next. The work isn't creating a world where nothing unexpected ever happens. It's slowly building trust that we can meet the world as it actually is. Helpful Links: Learn more about Uninhibited HERE Schedule you Uninhibited Consultation HERE You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching  

Sixes, we're going to talk about a word you probably don't love: Cowardice. Before you immediately reject it, let me explain. In this episode of the Foundations Series, we're looking at the fixation of Type Six—the mental loop our minds continually return to. And no, I'm not calling Sixes cowards. The fixation of cowardice is much more about an underlying belief: "I don't have what it takes to handle what happens next." That belief can show up in VERY different ways. It can keep us attached to a job, relationship, community, belief system, or source of support long after we sense it might be time to move on. But it can also make us leave. Ghost. Confront. Make another plan. Ask for reassurance. Research one more option. Or charge directly toward a problem because waiting to see what happens feels unbearable. Different behaviors. Same underlying attempt to close the gap of uncertainty. In this episode, we explore: What the Type Six fixation of "cowardice" actually means Why the fixation isn't saying that Sixes are cowards How the belief "I can't handle this" can keep us stuck Why the exact same pattern can make one Six stay and another Six leave Why behavior alone doesn't tell us someone's Enneagram type How planning and preparation can be rooted in a fear of not being able to handle what happens Why Sixes seek reassurance, resources, people, and support How to uncover what's underneath your automatic behaviors How counterphobic behavior can be another attempt to close the uncertainty gap Why confronting something quickly can sometimes be harder to resist than simply waiting How building internal sturdiness gives us more choices The goal isn't to eliminate every Six pattern. It's to build a growing sense that: When weird, uncertain, messy, hard things happen, I can handle them. I can figure out what I need. I can decide whether to stay or leave. I can navigate what comes next. I don't have to close every uncertainty gap immediately. And I have more resources than I think I do. Helpful Links: Learn more about Uninhibited HERE Schedule you Uninhibited Consultation HERE You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

Sixes, let's talk about fear. Not because Sixes are walking around scared all the time. In fact, plenty of Sixes don't identify with being fearful at all. Fear is a core human emotion. It's necessary. It's designed to help keep us alive. But for Enneagram Sixes, that very normal fear mechanism gets expanded into something bigger: an emotional lens through which we navigate the world. In this episode of the Foundations Series, we're looking beyond what fear looks like and asking a different question: What is the fear actually doing for us? For Sixes, fear keeps our attention searching for the things we believe we need to navigate the world safely: security, support, and guidance. And at the same time, we're scanning for anything that might threaten those things. That can look like questioning. Planning. Looking for guidelines or frameworks. Seeking other people's opinions. Checking one more time. Struggling when trusted sources disagree. Or even feeling incredibly certain because we've aligned ourselves with a person, belief system, institution, or authority that seems certain enough for us. In this episode, we explore: Why fear is the core emotion of Type Six The function fear serves in the Six personality structure Why "anxiety" doesn't fully describe Six fear The Six search for security, support, and guidance Why Sixes can want guidance while also resisting being told what to do How fear can show up as doubt, questioning, planning, anger, or cynicism Why Sixes often ask other people what they think—even when we already have a sense of what we want to do How doubt keeps us from "landing" Why some Sixes don't identify as fearful at all What counterphobic behavior can actually look like The concept of "borrowed certainty" and why it can feel so stabilizing—until it doesn't The goal isn't to make fear another thing that's wrong with you. Remember our frame from the beginning of this series: Your patterns serve a function. So instead of judging your fear, anxiety, doubt, or questioning, let's get curious about what it's trying to do for you. What is my fear helping me look for—and what is it trying to protect me from? Helpful Links: Learn more about Uninhibited HERE Schedule you Uninhibited Consultation HERE You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching

Sixes, what if the things you've been trying so hard to "fix" about yourself aren't flaws at all? In this episode, I'm kicking off a new Foundations Series exploring what it means to be an Enneagram Six—and before we get into the specifics of Type Six, we need to talk about how we approach the Enneagram in the first place. Because the Enneagram isn't simply a list of behaviors. It's about patterns. Patterns that developed for a reason. Patterns designed to protect something deeper and more tender within us. And this distinction matters for Sixes because when we learn something new about ourselves, we have a tendency to immediately turn it into a problem. Oh, I do that. I shouldn't do that. Why am I still doing that? I know better. I need to fix this. But when we approach our Six patterns that way, we're actually looking at the pattern through the pattern. In this episode, we explore: Why the Enneagram is about patterns, not just behaviors The protective function behind our personality patterns Why Sixes tend to turn self-awareness into another problem to solve How our desire for certainty can show up in personal growth work Why knowing more about yourself doesn't automatically create transformation The difference between seeing a pattern as a flaw and getting curious about what it's protecting How approaching yourself differently can become a foundation for self-trust As we move through this Foundations Series, I want you to remember: Your patterns are trying to protect you. They are not revealing something wrong with you. So instead of asking: "Why am I like this?" Try: "I wonder what this pattern is protecting me from?" That's where we're starting. Helpful Links: Learn more about Uninhibited HERE Schedule you Uninhibited Consultation HERE You can find me on Instagram HERE You can contact me HERE if you have questions or want to chat more about Life Coaching