Ryan Levinson on purpose, surrender, and rebuilding identity through adversity
Send us Fan MailJoel van der Loon sits down with Ryan Levinson for a wide-ranging conversation about diagnosis, risk, purpose, masculinity, and what it means to keep moving when your body changes. Ryan shares the arc from his mid twenties diagnosis with FSH muscular dystrophy to the decade he spent sailing in French Polynesia, and how those experiences reshaped his sense of self. This episode matters because it goes beyond a success story and gets into the harder question of how to stay oriented when the old sources of identity no longer fit. In this episode, Ryan Levinson shares how his diagnosis in his mid twenties with FSH muscular dystrophy changed the trajectory of his life.Joel and Ryan trace Ryan’s early identity through surfing, skateboarding, and a rebellious streak that pushed against school, family expectations, and conventional career paths.Ryan explains the suicidal moment in college through a mistaken philosophy about living close to death, and how a friend interrupting that night changed everything.The two discuss how surfing, the ocean, and later sailing became spiritual anchors through movement, challenge, and clarity of purpose.Ryan describes how the diagnosis unexpectedly opened doors, shifting how others saw him from lazy or unrealistic to inspirational and capable.They talk through the decision to buy a sailboat and live aboard in French Polynesia for a decade, including the fear, surrender, and transformation that came with leaving the dock.Ryan shares how disease progression has changed his body, his daily capabilities, and his relationship to purpose, protection, and being a partner to Nicole.Joel introduces a spiritual lens around knowing oneself, shadow work, and authenticity as the path to meaning.Ryan reflects on how much of his life has been driven by perseverance, and how he now has to reassess his limits much more frequently. The conversation closes with mutual gratitude, vulnerability, and Ryan sharing where people can find him online. Timestamps00:00 - Brotherly reunion and the energy of deep trust 03:24 - Surfing, rebellion, and the identity Ryan built before diagnosis 06:14 - The college suicide call and the friend who broke through the moment 09:44 - Why it was not about depression, but about anticipation and future fear 11:45 - Feeling trapped by a future with no obvious vocation 13:05 - Surfing as meditation and a spiritual connection to something larger 15:10 - The diagnosis and the first move toward a new path 16:24 - Pressure from family versus a dream of ecotourism and ocean work 17:23 - A doctor’s blunt advice to choose something practical 20:18 - How the diagnosis changed public perception and opened doors 21:17 - Leveraging disability, media, and adaptive sports opportunities 23:54 - Why Ryan and Nicole bought a sailboat and crossed to French Polynesia 25:52 - Surrender, trust, and leaving the dock without knowing the outcome 28:29 - What long passage sailing changes in a person 31:44 - Simplicity, clarity of purpose, and why risk feels meaningful 35:53 - Ryan’s current conflict around purpose as physical ability declines 38:25 - Losing the ability to protect in the way he once could 40:34 - Why Nicole’s capability changes the burden conversation 44:19 - The emotional and psychological work of surrendering masculinity 48:24 - Joel’s view of spiritual awakening as remembering the soul 52:08 - Why the compass shifted before leaving the boat life 55:36 - The physical toll of years at sea and disease progression 60:23 - Metrics, recovery, and adapting daily to what the body can do 63:01 - Constant reassessment before surfing, diving, or physically demanding work 65:32 - What Ryan is most proud of now: perseverance 68:02 - Joel’s challenge that logic can become a trap 69:35 - Why the relationship with Nicole is central to Ryan’s fear 71:14 - Joel’s teaching on knowing God through knowing self and others 75:21 - Untangling the story of self and doing shadow work 77:20 - Hadza, wilderness time, and the progression of spiritual learning 81:10 - Joel’s divorce, grief, and the liberation of brutal self-honesty 84:19 - Ryan on people inventing new stories instead of accepting change 85:46 - Life as floating with the current instead of fighting it 87:21 - Accepting that decline, loss, and change are guaranteed 90:09 - Final gratitude and where to find Ryan onlineSupport the showHuge thank you to everyone who supports In the Bush podcast — if you've been enjoying the show, please consider making a donation to help us keep producing the content you love. Every bit of support helps us keep the mics on and the episodes coming. Thanks for listening, and we'll catch you next time! www.primalskillsacademy.com
