How's That Working For You?

Until they become more awakened the average enneagram type Nine finds subtle ways to steer clear of conflicts, especially in relationships.  The avoidance of conflict is how Nine’s unconsciously believe they will achieve peace for their soul but, ironically, this “solution" becomes their primary problem because the avoidance provides only a false peace for the ego.  Sooner or later, type Nines must learn to embrace conflict in order to mature and become a powerful force for others and enjoy true inner peace. Today’s guest on HOWS THAT WORKING FOR YOU?, Nanette Mudiam, has been learning the importance of facing conflict consciously, first by facing her own mistakes in life head-on, and then later through a timely introduction to the deeper enneagram path, just as conflict seemed overwhelming. Today, as the executive director of a non-profit that provides physical, mental and spiritual health care, Nanette is utilizing all of her life experience and her strengths as a Nine to pull communities and resources together to minister to a politically and often even religiously controversial population. Join our conversation as she shares how she has learned to "hold the tension" of conflict long enough for solutions to emerge.

Talk to almost anyone who is in long-term recovery - regardless what their recovery is from - and almost universally you hear that they had fierce resistance to going to their first meeting.  Or once they got up the courage to actually attend, then how hard it was to open up and be vulnerable with the group, and then keep coming back.  Let's face it, very few of us came into the rooms of recovery without a lot of anxiety about what in the world we were getting ourself into. But what if - in addition to that universal individual resistance to baring our soul in a recovery community - there are other barriers for many people of color who want and need a safe place for their recovery journey?  What if a person of color in this country had good reason to question whether a predominantly white (or white male) recovery setting might not be safe for them?  Unfortunately that is still a reality for many people of color seeking a recovery community. Join us on HOW’S THAT WORKING FOR YOU? for a short conversation about this important issue in which we discuss a specific venue where the dialogue has started, the ongoing challenge of learning how to listen, and how the enneagram can aid in the work to be done in this crucial area.

At the root of much of our addictive behavior is an intense felt sense of shame or sadness that arises from our feeling - at a deep level - our very self to be inherently “bad”.  This in turn often drives the story of meaning we form very early in our life and can lead to a false belief that we do not deserve to belong anywhere or with anyone.  Until we can find connection, community and caring to challenge that story in a thorough process over time, we will likely try to compensate with a mask or persona that serves to protect, promote or plan our way through life. Any personality type can unconsciously cope in this way from an early age and carry it into adulthood.  But it appears that the master of this “program for happiness” is the ennea-type Three, many of whom keep an array of different masks ready to don at a moment’s notice.  Often experts at reading the room, Three’s seem to intuitively know with who, how and where they want to fit in, so that success, value and acceptance follow. But being the best at something usually brings with it a false sense of the belonging they were made for but fear is not to be theirs without performance. Join us for this episode of HOW’S THAT WORKING FOR YOU? as Kyle Berman shares a life of early ‘adulting’ behaviors, including organizing a caper to steal his mom’s Mothers Day present at age 9 to declaring he would be the most well-planned, efficient and successful homeless person in his city!  And in between and along the way we visit military school, Brazil, overdoses, suicide ideation and psych wards, and, finally, a community of genuine belonging and ongoing healing that is bringing his true self into being and driving an innovative vision for others.

Make sure you check out this BEHIND THE SCENES convo between Art and his guest Dani Sims. What started off as a pre-recording conversation quickly changed to course into what organically became an interactive teaching with Art.

There is a “stubborn darkness” that sooner or later plagues most of us who have struggled with long-term addiction.  As much as the addicted person’s physical life might be in danger at any given moment, the competing voice of addiction can also lure us to leaning more-and-more into the darkness until darkness threatens to become our very identity.  Over time that darkness takes on a voice that not only calls the sufferer back to their drug/behavior of choice but, perhaps in an even more insidious way, can become loud enough to drown out the voice of life-giving spirit. Dani Sims - ennea-type Two, person in long-term recovery, and compassionate ally of those seeking recovery resources (and their four-legged friends!) - has lived the story of the two loud voices.  From a deeply traumatic start to life in semi-rural Alabama, through an adolescence of spiritual searching, obedience, achievement and helping, to the fateful first brush with substance as a sophomore in college, to the walking-dead existence of the notoriously dark streets of the Kensington section in Philadelphia, come along as Dani shares her journey back toward the light she had somehow always sensed was her birthright. We also get to hear about the boots-on-the-ground work she and others are doing to get recovery resources to those who have the least access, but also the self-care challenges  brought on by her soul’s design to feel other's needs so deeply.  And Dani introduces us to Friends of Francis, a unique but sometimes crucial resource for many seeking treatment from substance use disorder or mental health challenges. All of that and Kundalini Yoga for recovery…in Alabama?!?!  Join us on this episode of HOW’S THAT WORKING FOR YOU?

Self-preservation dominant instinct Fives are often nicknamed “Ivory Tower” or “Castle”, representing metaphorically their tendency when un-conscious to wall themselves off from the world by way of over-using the mind.  When healthy, our precious Fives can use the time inward and away from the rest of us to think and give back to the world in amazingly deep and wise ways, but when overdone this habit can shield them from the true abundance of life and relationship.  Thus - just like in the insanity of addiction - what the Five comes to believe is the solution to their problem becomes the real problem. That dynamic describes much of the reality of our guest today on HOW’S THAT WORKING FOR YOU before she took a chance by lowering the drawbridge and giving herself bit-by-bit to a recovery community and eventually to God.  Jenner K - molecular biologist, recovering alcoholic, researcher and author of the incredibly human and amazingly insightful book, The Enneagram for Recovery - shares her struggle with alcoholism that got its start shockingly at the age of eight. In a fascinating interview we get to hear how the fearful “hoarding” dynamic of unconscious type Fives figured not only into the deepening of her alcoholism, but also delayed the surrender to healing community.  Stick around, though, because we also get to enjoy the ongoing fruits of Jenner’s deep dive into the powerful synergy of 12 Step work and the enneagram, as she continues to “carry the message to others”, through her book, her workshops, and her life.

If we have lived in addictive behavior for a significant period of time we have almost certainly ‘dimmed the light’ of our created essence and replaced it with a pale imitation of who we were supposed to be. But, thankfully, from the base of sobriety we can also begin the journey back to who we were designed to be. One of the key ways we can use to enrich that journey is through the wisdom pathway of the Enneagram process. That journey usually starts with discovering our enneagram number or type but that is just the beginning.  We are not our number; that is merely a description of how we have been in the world and not who we truly are.  Join us as enneagram-type Two, John Bayles -- bookseller, newspaper editor, person with a substance use disorder and now a person not only living in long-term recovery but also a tireless helper for those in desperate need of recovery resources and connection in central Alabama - shares part of that process. We get to take a wild and winding addictive and geographical journey, from Birmingham to New Orleans to The Hamptons in New York to Bellevue Hospital and back home again.  And John shares the slightly embarrassing but tender moment when he went to the ‘wrong’ 12 Step group.  Was it really the wrong group or divinely ordained?  You decide!

If you enjoyed Art's interview with Steve and Pam Moore, make sure you take a few minutes to listen in on Art's post-interview Enneagram teaching.

It is often those who have experienced, endured and escaped the deepest ravages of substance use disorder who end up giving back the most to those who are still suffering. Whether it be by facilitating a recovery support group, sponsoring individuals through step-work, volunteering or working in prevention and recovery spaces, or just ‘showing up’ for life, there is a long and rich history of grateful recovering people giving back. In today’s episode of HOW’S THAT WORKING FOR YOU? we get to go deeper with two of those folks in wife and husband team Pam and Steve Moore, recovering individuals, practicing therapists, cutting edge addiction researchers, and all-around allies of the recovering community in Birmingham, Alabama. Join us as we dive into their individual stories of addiction, their meeting and marriage while in recovery, their tracks toward becoming professionals in the field, and their latest book, Natural Pathways of Recovery. In a far-ranging discussion we talk about such things as the role of trauma in addiction and treatment, innovative developments and thinking in recovery support, ongoing research, and personalizing recovery through use of the enneagram. And in the midst of a very fresh and very personal tragedy, find out why this true ‘power couple’ can still affirm that “Love and Compassion are going to win.”

Take a listen to this quick, post-interview Enneagram breakdown given by our host, Art Wimberly.