Haven!

Do you have a sister and wonder if you're complicated relationship is "normal?" Or do you not have a sister and are curious if it really is all that it's hyped up to be? Inspired by my last episode where a childhood friend ratted me out (in a loving way) for complaining about my sister buying matching Ugg boots... I bring back my little sister as a guest to the show. We talk about how being born 13 months apart caused me to crave independence while she would have been happy to tag along to anything & everything I was doing. She also brings up the great point that there seems to be more of a competition element within the sister/sister dynamic more-so than a brother/sister dynamic. I will add the caveat that my Producer encouraged me to re-do the intro and warn people that we were a bit unhinged / all over the place in our storytelling - so just be prepared for the multiple story tangents we go on together down memory lane... --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support

We all seem to have blind spots - areas we are weak in or aren’t able to accurately perceive ourselves. For me it can be as small scale as moving too quickly and incurring many typos (thank God for Grammarly!) or as large scale as being so focused in my perspective that I find it difficult to entertain alternative avenues.  There is the old saying “it takes two to know one” so oftentimes without family, friends or community who love us enough to speak hard truths and make us privy to them we likely would never be made aware of them.  So, since we all have them, how can we try to root out those blind spots in our lives? I dive into this concept of tactical and practical ways to understand yourself better with my childhood friend Emily Fullerton Hutchinson.    We then parlay the topic into how these can even morph into hidden vices if we are segregating (even subconsciously!) portions of ourselves out that are “unapproved” or “unwelcome” and “not allowed.”  Join us as we dive into Real Housewives, disassociation, weed gummies, and more! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support

Most of us grew up watching movies, but there was always one that you wanted on repeat. Have you ever wondered what drew you to that particular movie? For me growing up I loved “The Little Mermaid” and only looking back as adult can I see the common threads of what drew me to that story. Her independence, curiosity, exploration, rejection of the norm, and quest for adventure are all themes I was aligning with.  Ultimately, movies are storytelling - which has been around since the beginning of time. Stories tell us about ourselves and are how we process the human journey.  For this episode I bring in my friend Mackenzie (who also did the logo for my podcast - helloooo https://mackenzielauren.com/) and we hear a bit about her fav childhood movie, Halloween costume genres, and overall approach to her branding work. After you listen to the episode my question to you is - what did you love as a kid? And what were you trying to identify internally and also tell the world about yourself through that?  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support

The second part of our “Free Marriage Counseling” episode is live now and we cover… Money & Sex Yes, we do really go there.  💰 MONEY 💰 Have you ever thought about your earliest memory tied with money? What about your partner’s? Likely, they are very different experiences, but those early emotions tied with it play into your experiences and concept of it as a whole.  💋 SEX 💋 Also we share some practical tips for a healthy sex life: The “no with an appointment” strategy Don’t barter for sex (if you do the dishes, then I will XYZ… = dangerous)  Freedom to play when there are agreed upon parameters  I think my favorite part about this episode is that my husband drops the majority of the wisdom on these topics. Overall, we want you to have great marriages. I hope these conversations have spurred on helpful discussions with you and those you love! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support

The #1 topic request I’ve received on this podcast has been people asking for an episode discussing marriage. Committed long term relationships can be some of the most meaningful and most difficult things to navigate all at the same time.  I couldn’t do this theme solo so my guest is the LOML, Aaron Weits - my husband of nearly 11 years, lover for 16 years and best friend for 18 years. We both are currently tied on the # of weddings we have been asked to officiate and, because of that, it means we have facilitated pre-marital counseling for a half a dozen couples. We broke down our 3 month curriculum into the highest level concepts to discuss either prior to getting married or after you’ve already tied the knot.  This first episode is all about conflict, communication & expectations and I hope you find some value in it.  What do you do when you disagree?  What are some boundaries to have in place during conflict? How do you break out of a pattern of scorekeeping with one another?  Stay tuned for the second part of this “free marriage counseling” series which covers money & sex! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support

Do you remember the first time as a female you were objectified?  I do. I was 12 and he was in his early 20s. It brought up mixed feelings of being immediately uncomfortable and self-conscious, but also flattered by the attention? Whether it’s fielding unwanted advances, or running in a new city with pepper spray in hand, or being the solo female voice outnumbered in a leadership room - these instances aren’t unique.  Women reading even just those examples will go “oh yeah, been there.” But, for some reason to men it is still a foreign concept that we have different obstacles in this world than they may be facing.   I initially had the title of this theme “Women vs Men” but I realized I don’t think we are opposing forces.  A better thought is “how can we invite men into our experiences better?” Join me and my friend Janelle, a female entrepreneur who founded Volara, an artist management company working to create intentional spaces for females in the music industry, as we talk a bit about our own experiences navigating this world as modern women. If you’re a female, I think you’ll likely feel validated and less alone in your experience and if you’re a male I think you’ll walk away with some better handles and tools to support the females in your life.  --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support

Sharks - the silent apex predators that you don't see coming until they have already made their kill. What does it look like to take on the traits of being a shark? Can it be done well and in an ethical manner? Besides the sharks in Finding Nemo who say "fish are friends, not food" sharks get a bit of a bad rap. When I think of who embodies these characteristics most in order it goes #1 The Cast of Succession then #2 my friend Eric Roy. Eric is a Large Enterprise Account Executive for Box.com which is a jargon-y way to say he makes big a** sales for a living. Overall, together we discuss how to get what you want out of life and what behaviors you can utilize to do so - whether you’re looking to nail a large sale or try to find a better parking spot, this episode is for you. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support

Do you want to take up more space? Are you nervous that you will come across as too big or too intimidating? Or are you on the other end of the spectrum and want to be more comfortable being reserved in your nature and not forced to talk to everybody at a party? Taking up space looks different for everybody but ultimately I think each of us want to be comfortable in our own skin at the end of the day. If you've ever been told "just be more confident" was your reaction "oh, awesome, that solves it!" or did it feel more like a condescending and trite comment? I bring in my friend Angel as we unpack the question of "how do I become a more confident person?" My personal take is confidence is an identity question. Before we can access confidence in who we are we have to have identified who we are, then Angel adds on top of it that we also have to like who we are in order to own a room authentically. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support

Weird title, right?  It seems we accept the love that feels familiar - whether that is for better or for worse. What I want to explore is wondering are we destined to only repeat the pattern set for us or is there possibility that we can heal and set new paths for ourselves?  My guest this episode is my little sister Clancy who had a similar upbringing to me but an entirely different trajectory of life and relationships.  We come from a strong matriarchal lineage which informed us from a place of strength as well as some dynamics we didn’t want to repeat.  Whether you’re married, dating, or single I think there will be some value in exploring what you’re drawn to in a relationship and whether it’s the first time you’ve incurred this type of love or whether it’s a repeated pattern. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support

People Pleasing. It’s not a question of “if” or “are you” people pleasing but "WHY" are you doing it? It seems this is something we may all come across at some point in our life.  For me, this is something I took on later in life and am still in the process of “unlearning” that unhealthy habit.  I want us to look into the root of where did this begin in us? I bring in my friend Hannah who talks about how it was taught to her by her culture, while mine came as a response to a deep wound. But, not all origin stories are bad - maybe you just really loved a parent and wanted their validation.  Let’s explore together maybe why you started doing this and then break down some practical baby steps tactics to distance yourself from it. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/haven-the-podcast/support