Fruitbowl: An Oral History of Queer Sex

One of my favorite Fruitbowl questions I ask every interviewee is “What’s your best move?” Most people think they’re best move is being intuitive and connecting with their partners - which is important for sure - but for this episode I’ve decided to feature answers that are about one specific sex act. These responses might surprise you or shock you. Or maybe you’ll learn a new move that you’ll be able to try out next time. Regardless, I think there’s something here for everyone. Adam T. (S3E20) - Breaking in tops who wanna learn to bottom; Steven M. (S4E14) - “I give good Daddy.” Josh (S3E1) - Discovering my inner “Power Top.” Sam (S1E1) - The Move™ for Trans Men who haven’t had bottom surgery; Steven M. (S4E14) - Dom moves; Dave (S4E15) - Spinning the bottom; George (S1E7) - “Everyone loves a good reveal.” Jon (S1E12) - Start shallow and slow then plow (with consent); Donovan (S3E18) - Missionary with kissing; Aditya (S2E2) - Nuzzle him; Alex (S3E10) - Bottom role / top energy; Elliott (S3E11) - topping from the bottom for non-binary; Dan (S3E16) - “Being the best bottom I can be.” Kenny (S4E6) - Sliding down into the splits; Dan (S3E16) - Cleaning out is also “me time.” Carlos (S1E2) - “Straight” men and lacy lingerie; Saira (S3E21) - Oral and pushing boundaries (with consent); Gabe (S1E8) - “Sit back, relax and watch Harry Potter”; Jerry (S1E4) - “I’m a hungry little man.” Salvador (S3E6) - “Be squeaky clean and ready to go.” Mikey (S1E10) - “Lay on your back and I’ll sit down.” Alan (S3E2) - “I’m kneeling on the floor and he’s laying on his back”; Jason (S1E1) - Picking him up, upside down. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan!  Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Are you a young queer person in crisis or maybe you just need someone to talk to? Learn more about The Trevor Project HERE (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/). Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

We all know the script: You meet someone. You date. You eventually say “I love you.” Pretty soon, you’re on the relationship escalator: moving in together, getting married and living the life that everyone dreams of. For generations, this script also assumed monogamy. But this episode is not about those kinds of relationships. This episode features stories about how we discover our own preferences when it comes to sexual exclusivity and the different ways queer people define relationships. James (S1E2) - Monogamous at first but never again; Dan (S3E16) - Giving up the relationship escalator; Mike (S3E19) - Sex doesn’t have to be relationship-defining; Aditya (S2E2) - “I’m most against something the day before I do it.”; Anders (S2E6) - A sick cat and solo polyamory; Nayland (S2E4) - Finding a polycule after age 40; Paul (S3E5) - “You want to stay together, right?” “Of course I do.”; Nathan S. (S3E13) - Transactional intimacy & Vulnerability; Lilian (S4E5) - Group intimacy; Mike (S3E19) - “I’ll try anything twice.”; Dan (S3E16) - Empathic Metamorph; Ari (S4E3) - Discovering kink and polyamory after 3 long-term monogamous relationships; Justin (S4E1) - Sex is too big to share with just one person; Mike (S3E19) - the origin of a throuple. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate. Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod. Are you a young queer person in crisis or maybe you just need someone to talk to? Learn more about The Trevor Project HERE (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/). Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

Kink is, by nature, taboo. That’s part of its appeal. Paradoxically, kinksters are often better at articulating what they want from sex because their sexual interests fall outside the boundaries of the most common sexual encounters.  Kinksters are known for blazing trails when it comes to innovative ways to talk about sex and give consent. Consent is built into the process of negotiating together what will and what won’t go down.  For example, in this episode, Ari describes asking potential partners to fill out a google doc questionnaire before they hookup in an effort to know what it is they want and as an introduction to Ari’s preferences and philosophies about sex. Other people describe the green light, yellow light, red light system that allows the bottom to communicate their comfort level. If any of the activities in either of these kink episodes interest you, I encourage you to read up or take classes on best-practices for safety protocol. Educate yourself and make sure you are clear with your partners about boundaries and safety so that every hookup can be mutually enjoyable. And have fun out there! Debra (S4E8) - Ann Rice inspires a lifetime of exploring kink; Zachery (S4E16) - Boring college sex leads to kink; Dan (S3E16) - Turning a sexual insecurities into a kink assets; Mike (S3E19) - kink explorations in Hong Kong; Josh (S3E1) - Discovering top identity after a break up; Zachery (S4E16) - A remote cabin and hockey bags of toys; Ari (S4E3) - Impact play and aftercare; Alex (S3E10) - “I am a bear, here for your pleasure”; Debra (S4E8) - Kink is playful, fun and funny; Mike (S3E19) - Doms are the screenwriters, Subs are the directors; Ari (S4E3) - Toys help kinksters with disabilities; Debra (S4E8) - Mean mommy and kink as improv; Kenny (S4E6) - Saying “Yes” to kink and armpits; Ari (S4E3) - The kink questionnaire; Zachery (S4E16) - An intro to using your hands. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan!  Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Are you a young queer person in crisis or maybe you just need someone to talk to? Learn more about The Trevor Project HERE (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/). Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

It’s tempting for queer people to want to conceal our kinks in an effort to be more acceptable to straight society. Acting like vanilla heteros is just one way to live in peace during this era of government-sanctioned hostility towards queer people. But bible thumping conservatives don’t really differentiate between kinky and non-kinky queer people. So we may as well let our freak flags fly. In this first episode of a two part series on kink, we’ll hear a variety of stories about kink discovery, kink education, kink acceptance and first-person descriptions of amazing communities and relationships that grew from a shared interest of kink. Below is a list of contributors for this episode along with a brief description of their segment and a link to their full length episodes. Saira (S3E21) - The go-to, kinky sex-pert; Anders (S2E6) - discovering kink classes and communities; Adam (S2E3) - pixxing down my throat; Nayland (S2E4) - “I’m too old to sleep with boring people”; Saira (S3E21) - Impact play at theater camp; Paul (S3E5) - The origin story of Rain City Jacks; Anders (S2E6) - Public play, bathhouses and house parties; Carlos (S1E2) - playing dress up with “straight” guys; Drew (S4E4) - Embracing men’s imperfect bodies; Ryan C. (S3E14) - Describing Gainers; Drew (S4E4) - Big Body at the Eagle; Anders (S2E6) - the importance of aftercare; Saira (S3E21) - breath play and safety; Tyler (S1E6) - old-timey white boxer briefs; Drew (S4E4) - embracing a new body; Saira (S3E21) - the challenges of being an experienced BDSM top. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate. Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod. Are you a young queer person in crisis or maybe you just need someone to talk to? Learn more about The Trevor Project HERE (https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help/). Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

Religion has a terrible track record when it comes to queer members and issues: condemnation, rejection and often, in the case of the Catholic church, exploitation and excommunication. While not all religions are anti-LGBT, most everyone I interviewed for Fruitbowl had negative experiences with their faith, especially in their coming of age years when we didn’t have the agency to decide for ourselves if religion was something we actually wanted to participate in. Instead, it was thrust upon us and, as a result, many queer people became disenfranchised and suspicious of faith based institutions and the many self-righteous followers who feel empowered to judge us. Editor’s Note: not all the interviewees identify themselves for every anecdote that is shared in this episode, so here is a comprehensive list of all the featured interviewees along with some description of each of their sections: Andre (S3E17) - “I can’t lie to God!”; Alan (S3E2) - Growing up in the Cult of Mormon. Gabe (S1E8) - Freezing time in church; Puddin (S4E9) - Gay is the ultimate sin; Josh (S3E1) - Machismo, Christianity and self-punishment; Nathan S. (S3E13) - Christianity in the Egyptian-American community in New Jersey; Ari (S4E3) - The perfect Christian family…not.; John C. (S4E17) - Hot for preacher; Puddin (S4E9) - A letter to myself & my Vaseline jar; Nathan S. (S3E13) - Self love and Mr. Smiley; Dave (S4E15) - Cruising after choir practice; Elliott (S3E11) - Falling in love at church; Alan (S3E2) - Mormon missionary and The Dragon; Puddin (S4E9) - The Campus Crusade Leader and his Accountability Partner; Alan (S3E2) - Breaking the BYU “Honor” code; Puddin (S4E9) - Exodus and the “ex-gay” community; Alan (S3E2) - Saved by my theater family; Puddin (S4E9) - Saved by Doubting David; John C. (S4E17) - Massaging the megachurch preacher; Puddin (S4E9) - Dad’s funeral; Jason (S1E1) - Overnight with the wrestler from church. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan!  Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

To be trans in America right now is to live day to day knowing that your very existence is considered a provocation, a threat. But for the next hour and 13 minutes, I invite you to leave all the chaos and vitriol of our current political climate behind and listen to these trans and non-binary interviewees share some of my favorite Fruitbowl stories about identity, community, sex and intimacy. Not just trans stories. Human stories. Just listen and I can guarantee you’ll find something you identify with. You’ll notice that many of the interviewees describe very specific physical details about their gender transitions and how sex changed for them after their bodies healed. Most of these stories came up in the part of the interview where I encouraged the interviewees to go off script and talk about any topic of their choice. The fact that they trusted me enough to talk about intensely personal subjects so that I could share it with my listeners is profoundly meaningful to me. I knew a long time ago that I would eventually want to collect these stories in just one episode and now, finally, here it is. Here’s a list of the different interviewees with links to their full-length interviews.  Sam (S1E1) - The Move™; Anders (S2E6) - Notes on a transition and kink; Elliott (S3E11) - Getting to know slutty Elliott and other reflections on hooking up with cis dudes;  RC (S2E8) - “I did that for the D?!”; Adé (S2E11) - Sex is great but Love is greater; Andre (S3E17) - Notes on cruising bathhouses while trans; Lilian (S4E5) - Transition revisions and sex; Ari (S4E3) - Becoming The Beast. This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, Fruitbowl’s creator and producer. Ryan Weadon did the music editing and final mix. Thanks Ryan!  Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

Love is complicated and for queer people, it's even more so.  Queer love rarely resembles traditional romantic stories. And while our representation is getting better, the lack of realistic queer adult love stories can make sorting through those complicated emotions and feelings a struggle. Many of this episode’s stories describe a certain kind of gratitude for the experience of first love, oftentimes the interviewees describe becoming close friends after their relationships ended. If a romantic bond eventually dissolves, we still see a reflection of ourselves in that other person; a recognition of all the struggle, bravery and honesty that it took to get to a place where we can admit that this is who I am and this is how I express love.  Ari (S4E3) - First love on the lunch shift; Steven M. (S4E14)  - Falling for the troublemaker & “Are you a rice queen?”; Adam T. (S3E20) - Practicing piano & learning how to love; Josh (S3E1) - An older, wiser first love; Breona (S4E18) - obsessed with love; Joshua G. (S2E7) - Learning about love and what not to do; Alan (S3E2) - Mormon love in the Inland Empire; Justin (S4E1) - Punk Love at the urinal; Adam (S2E3) - Sex is easy, Love is difficult; Mike (S3E19) - Love & Polyamory. This episode was edited, hosted and mixed by Ryan Weadon.  Fruitbowl is produced and created by Dave Quantic Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards.IG: @Paperwombat.

College is often the first opportunity to separate ourselves, both geographically and psychologically, from oppressive families or communities. It's a chance to examine stifled urges and investigate sidelined feelings in an environment that includes others seeking similar experiences. When you combine this newfound sense of self with a bit of confidence and some good old fashioned young adult hormones, it's no wonder so many of us find ourselves falling in love for the first time at college. List of contributors and links to their full length episodes: Shavit (S3E8) - the hike from hell in Nepal;  Jerusha (S2E1) - Freshmen Orientations;  Dave (S4E15) - Love at first puke; Paul (S3E5) - Frustrations with JB; Karilla (S3E15) - Falling for the F Boy; Drew (S4E4) - Exes dating Exes; Lilian (S4E5) - Gender and Polyamory explorations; Donovan (S3E18) - The Best Friend, the Sailor and the blindfold; Aditya (S2E2) - Professor Bear. This episode was edited, hosted and mixed by Ryan Weadon.  Fruitbowl is produced and created by Dave Quantic Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

This episode is the first of a three part series about first love. Specifically, the messy, inconvenient, heartbreaking chaos that first love often inspires for people in high school as well as all the sweetness, optimism and exciting feelings of discovery both about ourselves and that special someone. Mix in the big feelings of emerging sexuality and you can understand why so many of these interviewees remember this time in their lives like it was yesterday. List of contributors and links to their full length episodes: Alan (S3E2) - First Love in the tenor section; Zachery (S4E16) - Never got to see that D; Ji (S2E5) - A moment of blooming on the beach; Patrick (S3E12) - Love in the hot tub; Deaunte (S3E3) - Finding love on the party line, souf end style; Erik (S3E9) - Best friend shut down; Kenny (S4E6) -  This episode was edited and hosted by Dave Quantic, the creator of Fruitbowl.  Ryan Weadon edited the music and final mix. Thanks Ryan! Support independent queer media by donating to Fruitbowl and help us in our mission to record, archive and share personal stories about queer coming of age. Learn more at www.fruitbowlpodcast.com/donate.  Promoting a podcast about queer sex is an uphill battle when it comes to social media. Tell your friends about Fruitbowl, rate us on your podcast platform or write a review on Apple Podcast. Every little bit helps. https://linktr.ee/fruitbowlpod.  Fruitbowl’s fruit artwork for Season 5 was created by Nathan Richards. IG: @Paperwombat.

Enjoy this bonus episode of the podcast series Nuances: Our Asian Stories.  Hosted by Lazou, Nuance's latest season is titled Queering Premodern Asia and each episode explores different aspects of sexual diversity in premodern Asia with commentary and personal stories from guest scholars and artists.  Lazou reached out recently and, because our podcasts have a lot of themes in common, we decided to share an episode of each other’s pod with our listeners.  Just so you know, Lazou’s structure of the episodes: first a guest scholar talks about some really interesting queer history of ancient Asian cultures and then, after that, a guest talks about their own personal history and experiences. As you may have guessed, this is my favorite part of the episode. This first episode of the Queering Premodern Asia series is titled “In search of Prince Charming…and his King!” and the first half is full of swoon-worthy love stories of gorgeous male lovers of kings and saints!  Then there is a conversation between Lazou and guest Edmond Chan, a native of Texas who is also a professional musician and scholar. Edmond's conversation with Lazou is really real and raw and it sounds a lot like a Fruitbowl interview so check it out and, if you like the show, subscribe to their feed! Here’s a LIST of their queer-themed episodes! Fruitbowl will return in September with new Season 5 episodes. Hope you’re having a great summer!  xo Dave.