Forbidden Cinema

Welcome back as we tackle the questions nobody bothered to ask about our episode on Young Guns starring Emilio Estevez and everyone else who was hot in 1988. Zack gives us a brief history lesson about the Lincoln County War and how this film is surprisingly probably the most accurate representation ever put on film.  We go in detail about which of the Young "Buns" actors has showed his buns the most on screen and can't even believe the number that Charlie Sheen puts on the scoreboard.  Side note, one of the actresses in an early sex scene with LDP is someone Zack knows very well from Battlestar Galactica / Jenny from Pretty in Pink (and is apparently the daughter of the bad guy from Ernest Goes to Camp, small world). We play a brief game to see if Jenny can name a single current celebrity that is the age of the Young Guns cast.  Zack hits up more numbers than you would ever care to know about the box office and release schedule.   In print, we see the issue of Hustler magazine that started The People vs Larry Flynt was on the news stands when this movie was released.  In Playboy we are introduced to Cooper Hefner, who seems to be much less of a creep than his father.  Zack also realizes that he was lied to when he was told he was in the Guinness record holding conga line.  Jerry Seinfeld makes a very poor prediction about his future. In the Washington PA Observer Reporter we cover a few current events, but much more riveting was the Friday Night TV schedule and an article about the ladies boxing competition at the local fair getting much more spicy than the children in the audience were prepared for.

We are back and this time with a proper movie.  We watched Young Guns from 1988.  There were 80's heartthrobs all over the place in what bizarrely seems to be maybe the most historically accurate film depicting the Lincoln County War.  That's right, this is a biopic about Billy the Kid.   Spoiler alert, it is kind of serious and Bon Jovi is nowhere to be seen.  We think all of our preconceived notions about this film were from Young Guns 2.   Come along with us as we see a Fagan-like General Zod teach a wayward band of misfits about how to be cultured only to be gunned down in the streets by a business rival.  We get to see all of the shootin and cussin and jokes about bodily functions you would want in a film like this.  We have one of the wildest drug scenes in the history of film.  We get a little buns shot for the ladies from Coach Bombay that sadly does nothing for Jenny.  We get a less DILFy Dermot Mulrooney who nobody knew yet, so he has to just be gross.  Did we mention Lou Diamond Phillips and Howard Hughes are in this? Watch this movie and then come along for the ride on something that was even more forbidden than we realized.

One last time into the fray! We have done it.  We are now surely the internet's best and most complete resource for the first 2 seasons of 90's cable erotica Red Shoe Diaries. David Duchovny and Stella are back to read another letter from a Parisienne ad executive and her old flame / impossible to work with auteur commercial director.  We have (surprise) red shoes in an episode for the first time in forever.  There are random elevator shots, no crazy bedroom sets, stair sex, and a very low abdomen shot of our lead actor for the ladies. Come along for one last ride before we get back into movies.  Come for the uneven amount of time our lead actress's right nipple has compared to the left, but stay for the stubbled Jordan Padalecki lookalike lead actor tipping over chairs and screaming "Touch Me!"

Join us as we continue what has to be the most exhaustive deep dive of the nineties erotica for women cable show Red Shoe Diaries.  We are winding down this season hopefully to get back to some movies just like David Duchovny.   In Alphabet Girl we have a young model in a not terribly torrid affair with her famous photographer.  There is not really a love triangle with his young assistant.  Mostly everybody gives each other the space and time they need to grow, except for that one time where the photographer breaks into the assistant's house and they wrestle on top of a huge painting. We finally get an episode that is basically what Zack was staying up late to watch all those years ago.  We have really beautiful sweaty naked people in well lit scenes having sex for an extended period of time.  At this point though, we are missing a little bit of the wackadoo.  That being said, there is a race on a bedroom catwalk between someone on roller blades and a bicycle, so there is that.

Damn Gina... This episode is wild... I mean the last episode was wild, but this one was almost incomprehensible.  Off to Paris at the houseboat next to the Highlander we get an American woman who (hopefully doesn't murder) and assumes the identity of her Parisienne benefactor.  It's the Talented Mr. Ripley meets a Harlequin romance novel. This was probably the worst episode yet from a technical perspective, but we are here with you to work through the trauma of this atrocity.  We are only 2 weeks away from getting back to actual movies. God save us all.

Stop what you are doing, fire up Tubi, and watch this episode. I know we usually talk about stuff from our childhood that our parents would not let us watch, but this is something special.  This episode completely breaks the mold of the moody/broody/dreamy 90s erotica for women anthology series and goes bat crap insane. This is 30 minutes of your life that you will be happy to have spent with us. I can't imagine many people have watched this in the last 30 years, and they are missing out. We have multiple guns, people barking like dogs, oversized sweater dresses, a trunk full of zoot suits, shotgun weddings, scaffolding over beds, camcorder honeymoon sex tapes, threesomes, sex across 2 rows of seating in a 60s convertible, and sex scenes lit so that every single body hair on both sexes is in the spotlight.  Come along and watch this glorious calamity with us.  This is the lowest rated episode of the series so far.  Jenny is confused.  Zack is begging for more.

Whoah... This one is getting Zack a little hot under the collar and Jenny a little annoyed at the logistics. We have got an oddly traditional gender role world view from a guy with no sleeves and his new bride who finds work at a phone sex line apparently featuring Margaret Cho!?!?!? This one has snapping rubber underpants, some playful spanking, a Friday Night Special from Leather Lana, kitchen table lovemaking, and the secrets of Stella the Dog. Come along as we continue our deep dive of the 90s cable erotica for women extravaganza, Red Shoe Diaries.

Buckle up folks, this one is wild. We continue our journey through early 90s cable erotica for women with Episode 208 of Red Shoe Diaries.  This week we have David Duchovny actually playing for real with his doggy.  There are vaguely European things, lots of establishing shots of castles that we never go to, a boxing ring in a stable, and some sex scenes that we think may have inspired Braveheart?  

Hey everybody, sorry for the short episode this week.  There was not a ton of meat on the bones for this episode, but the Forbidden Crew are refusing to pull a Duchovny and phone it in this week. We have the story of a photojournalist doing a story on "up market" sex workers who make $1500 a night.  This one reads more like a psychological thriller where everyone is stalking everyone.  Zack actually thinks he could work this into a thriller.  We have a lady spying on sex, lots of red neckwear, so many still shots, darkrooms, car accidents, and more uneven nudity between partners in front of a 3 panel mirror.  We also have a huge lit up moon on the wall in the weird sex foyer in the huge Hollywood hills mansion of our astronomer? We have so many questions, and get so few answers.

It's Carnival! Join us as we have establishing shots of Rio, some Wild On clips from E! Network, and then some close ups of sex on a beach (that we assume is in southern California). This one is wild.  We have some samba that is more nude that we think is actually allowed at Carnival.  We have a weird wine/blood orgy.  We have a super horny grandma, a lady who is definitely not Brazilian, and a white horse tamed on the beach.  We also wonder about the mechanics of a sacrifice brought back to shore by a hunky diver. Thanks for coming along with us on our deep dive into 1993 cable erotica for women on our Valentine's day vacation.  We had a blast.  Let's keep the party going.