Episode 51: Why Visibility Can Feel So Difficult

If you’ve ever achieved a big goal, was it everything you’d hoped? Probably not. Callum Wilson dreamt of representing England’s national rugby team since he was a kid, but when it happened, it didn’t change his life the way he’d hoped. Sidebar: This is NOT an episode about rugby. It’s a powerful, tender conversation about how a tattooed, 113kg overachiever handled “arrival fallacy” – the concept that if we just achieve that big goal, THEN we’ll be happy. You’ll learn why diversifying your “goal portfolio” can create a positive shift, and how to handle the negative inner chatter when it insists you’re not enough.  Links: Callum Wilson on LinkedIn. NYT article on Arrival Fallacy, with Dr Ben-Shahar  

You’ve heard of burnout, but ever heard of bore-out? Apparently, it’s a leading cause of why people leave their jobs. I’m not talking about things feeling a bit drab. I’m talking about the loss of meaning in your work, and the adverse effects this can have on your mental and physical wellbeing. As you become more senior, maybe your days are full of admin, politics, and none of the juicy stuff that used to light you up. In today’s episode you’ll meet Kristi Turner, a former tech CMO, whose work stress was mainly due to boredom. Kristi took a pause from work, had a “Soulbbatical” (more on this in the episode), and found a new-found vigour to re-enter the corporate in a way that felt more aligned with her values. You’ll also meet Shelley Paxton, former CMO of Harley Davidson and founder of the Soulbbatical, who gives you some techniques to tackle bore-out – no resignation letter required. Pacey and practical, you’ll leave this episode tooled up, and (hopefully) enlivened. Join us! Links: Kristi Turner’s website. Shelley Paxton’s website. Soulbbatical book. Brené Brown’s list of values. Forbes article: Why boredom at work is more dangerous than burnout. BBC article with Dr Lotta Harju’s comments. Mandy Lehto on Instagram.  

Do you have BLS? (Beige Leadership Syndrome). I just made that up, but it’s a thing. If you work in corporate, you know the meetings that are soda-cracker dry. The BS buzzwords. The slow death by Power Point. The lack of relatable, inspiring leaders at the top. What gives? Enter Erin Hatzikostas, ex-CEO turned author, TEDx speaker, podcaster and coach-sultant. We talk about how to start practicing authentic leadership, and before you roll your eyes, or think you know what that means, strap in for the ride. This is authenticity as you’ve never experienced it. You’ll leave with some radically practical ways to experiment with authentic leadership, and a new, life-changing tool: the 50% rule. I think I can safely say, this episode will rid the corporate world of BLS. Join us. You career will thank you.     Links:   Erin Hatzikostas’s website. Please watch her cool 2min video! Erin on LinkedIn. Mandy on LinkedIn. Me on Erin’s podcast (episode 233).

Dr Jeff Spencer is the man behind more than forty Olympic gold medals, and stellar performances by Tiger Woods, Lance Armstrong, and many other elite performers who are household names. In today’s conversation, you’ll get a sneak peek at some of the techniques Jeff uses with them. Hint, hint – it’s NOT more striving or hyper-focus. You’ll learn to do “Chameleon Eyes”, a process that opens more opportunities and more of your untapped potential. You’ll also learn to shift gears from striving into receivership, and how “resonant recognition” can be a new navigation system in your life. This is especially important as you leave your 30s, the decade of “conquest and acquisition.” Wise, experienced, and just the right amount of intense, Jeff will challenge how you go about success.   Links: Dr Jeff Spencer’s website. Jeff on LinkedIn. Mandy Lehto on LinkedIn. Dr David Yudis on LinkedIn. David Brooks’ book, The Second Mountain.

Want to learn the real deal on your inner critic from a Stanford-trained neuroscientist? You’re in luck. Today’s guest is Dr Irene Salter, whose inner critic (named Draco) was taking too much airtime in Irene’s life. You’ll hear Irene’s hypothesis on where the inner critic comes from. Then she takes us through a real-life scenario of how she turned the volume down on Draco. You’ll learn about popcorn brain – and my favourite part of the episode, how to connect with your subconscious brain to find out what the heck is going on with that inner voice and the extreme behaviours it demands of you. Lab coats at the ready.    Links:     Microsoft research on short breaks for your brain    Dr Irene Salter’s website    Irene on Instagram    Mandy on Instagram 

When work isn’t working, it’s easy to question yourself, “Why can’t I hack it? What’s wrong with me?” Maybe you’re feeling stagnant, exhausted, or even burnt out. Is it a capacity issue or are you high net growth? (stay tuned for what that means). I’m in conversation with award-winning author and podcaster, Jenny Blake. During her career at Google, she looked at her management and thought, “I don’t want that job.” If you’re languishing, and can’t see a way forward, what do you do? Jenny offers a refreshing perspective on our obsession with promotions, and what she calls “the sea of shiny shoulds.” You’ll learn about project-based purpose, how you can “turn into a goo” after leaving a company that has brand halo, and why an energy audit can be a big reveal. Join us.     Links: Jenny Blake on Substack Pivot podcast episode with Mandy Lehto Article on Languishing NYT article on Languishing, Adam Grant (subscription required)

If you love an act of kindness, this episode is gonna feel like lowering yourself into a hot mug of chocolate, with itty bitty marshmallows. Acts of kindness have proven health effects, but I’ve also noticed something else. They are a splendid antidote to feeling self-critical, not enough, and being too zoomed in on your own inner world. This episode originally aired in 2021, and I loved it so much, I wanted to give it a second life. I asked a bunch of guests back to the pod to share a collection of acts of kindness – either given or received – and the impact it had on them. Warm fuzzies guaranteed.   Links: BBC article with University of British Columbia research.    

Former litigator (and firefighter) Shannon Sedlacek is back by popular demand. She featured in episode 53, one of the most downloaded episodes of the year. She’s back to share what happened to her identity when she was forced to leave her impressive job. She shares how her sense of self shifted so dramatically, that at one point, she didn’t even want to be alive. She also shares the two things that helped her transcend those difficult times. You’ll hear a cameo from a previous guest. You’ll also hear what I learned from a man in burgundy robes that messed with my thinking. If you’re highly identified with your job, but know deep down that you have a tough choice ahead, this episode is for YOU.    Links: Shannon Sedlacek’s website. Gelong Thubten’s book. Jessica Maguire’s website. Nicole LePera’s workbook. Mandy Lehto on Instagram.

If you’ve ever downplayed your success at work, felt like you didn’t belong, or attributed your career wins to luck, you’ve likely experienced Imposter Syndrome. Stats show that 70 per cent of us have experienced its wily grip at some stage of our careers. In this fast-paced solo episode I share three key things that might be causing imposter syndrome in your life. We’ll also explore what might be GOOD about it, and what three-step technique you can try when you’re feeling it. I’m also curious if the term itself is outdated (it originated in the 1970s). Oh, you’re wondering about the banana. You’ll hear how a banana kicked off a shame cycle for me. True story.     Links: Mandy’s imposter syndrome QUIZ. How the Queen would eat a banana. YouGov stats on Brits and imposter syndrome. Stats 70 per cent have felt imposter syndrome. KPMG research. Emma Reed Turrell on podcast (refers to Visibility, Novelty, Minority). Stylist article with MIT prof quotes. HBR article: Stop telling women they have imposter syndrome.

If you’ve ever been labelled too loud, too intense, TOO MUCH, this episode is for you. I’m in conversation with two guests who, for years, felt the need to shrink themselves to be more acceptable for others.   You’ll meet Karen Goldfinger Baker, who had a stellar career in fund-raising, and now coaches pro athletes and executives at organizations such as Apple and Disney. You’ll also meet Dr Sarah Madigan, author and clinical psychologist, who leads coaching groups that look ridiculously fun.   Both women share where their too-much beliefs came from, and how they’ve learned to relate to that belief differently, letting their authenticity shine through. You’ll learn techniques from Sarah with her clinical psychologist hat on in case you’ve been holding back, worried about being too much.   Trigger warning: There is mention of childhood sexual abuse, and the death of a baby.   Dr Sarah Madigan’s website. Karen Goldfinger Baker’s website.