Marriage: Romantic Love is NOT Enough | Buddhist Dhamma Talk | Ajahn Dhammasiha

Prompted by a question from the audience, Ajahn Dhammasiha shares reflections on the theme of developing Sympathetic Joy (Muditā). Muditā is on of the four Divine Abodes (Brahma-vihāra), together with loving kindness, compassion and equanimity. Sympathetic Joy is the quality of rejoicing and feeling happy in other beings success. It's the very opposite of envy and jealousy. Ajahn suggests a similar approach as in developing mettā: We imagine someone we really like anyhow, and then remember some wholesome achievement they accomplished. Next we use a mantra like formula, like for instance: "May you enjoy all your success!" or similar. We continue till we can really feel the corresponding emotion. However, we have to be careful that we only delight in wholesome success... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Spotify Playlists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Youtube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pics⁠⁠ #mudita #sympatheticjoy #brahmavihara #divineabidings #buddhism

In the famous discourse on the 'Foundations of Mindfulness' (Satipaṭṭhāna) the Buddha promises us that we can attain Nibbāna or Non-Returning in just 7 days, if we practise as descibed by him. Why, then, are we still enmeshed in suffering? Ajahn Dhammasiha describes six obstructions that we have to abandon first - otherwise we're not able to practise Satipaṭṭhāna in the way the Buddha described them: Delight in Work Delight in Chatting (including social media!) Delight in Sleep Delight in Socialising (including social media!) Lack of Sense Restraint Not knowing the Right Measure when Eating [Anguttara Nikāya/Numerical Discourses, Book of Sixes, #117 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Spotify Playlists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Youtube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pics⁠⁠ #mindfulness #sati #vipassana #meditation #dhamma #buddhism

Ajahn Dhammasiha responds to two closely related questions from the audience: 1. We may experience highs and lows in our meditation practice. Sometimes it even seems like we're suddenly back to zero, almost like riding a roller coaster. How can we make our Dhamma practice more consistant? 2. How can we prevent unwholesome mindstates from arising? This is actually the first of 4 factors of Right Effort (sammā-vāyāma), number six in the Noble Eightfold Path: Rather than trying to abandon unwholesome states once they have come up, it's better to 'nip them in the bud', as they say, by eliminating the conditions that potentially cause defilements to arise in the first place. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Spotify Playlists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Youtube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pics⁠⁠ #dhamma #buddhism #dhammatalk #dhammatalks #righteffort #sammavayama

Dependent Origination (Paṭicca Samuppāda) is one of the core teachings of the Buddha. However, it is a teaching that the Buddha himself described as 'deep, profound, subtle, difficult to see...'. Ajahn Dhammasiha explains how we can observe aspects of dependent origination during a common, every-day activity: Taking food from a buffet! 🍚🍛🥄🥣 Ajahn offers reflection how we can observe the relationship of: Sense Contact (phassa) Craving (taṇhā) Clinging / Grasping (upādāna) While taking food from the buffet. The moment we lift up some food from the buffet, and put it onto our plate, something remarkable and very powerful happens in our mind: We now regard this food as 'mine', it has somehow become 'my food'. However, nothing has changed in the food. It's still the same food. But once it's on our plate, something has very much changed in our mind, 'mine-making' has occurred. We have actively done something to dramatically change our attitude to that food, by taking possession of it mentally. This same process of mine-making we do all the time, every moment with all 5 groups of clinging (pañc'upādānakkhandhā): Form / Body (rūpaṃ) Feeling (vedanā) Perception (saññā) Intention / Will (sankhārā) Consciousness (viññāṇaṃ) However, it's more difficult to clearly see in regards to these 5 groups of clinging. What's happening with our mind at the buffet is easier accessible to direct observation, and can get us started in investigating upādāna. If we can carefully, mindfully observe how we're doing 'mine-making' while taking food from the buffet (or even while buying a new iPhone from the shop), we can hopefully understand how upādāna arises in our mind, and then STOP mine-making. That would be all that's required to fully liberate ourselves: If we stopped all mine-making, our heart would be fully released and experience Nibbāna! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Spotify Playlists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Youtube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pics⁠⁠ #upadana #minemaking #dependentorigination #paticcasamuppada #dhamma

Loving Kindness is an extremely beneficial mental quality, and an excellent meditation object. However, in some situations Compassion (Karuṇā) or Sympathetic Joy (Muditā) may work even better to overcome unwholesome mind states, and develop wholesome ones. (Of course, there is also the extremely important 4th 'Divine Abiding' (Brahmavihāra), namely Equanimity (Upekkhā), but that will have to be covered in another talk) ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Spotify Playlists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Youtube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pics⁠⁠ #karuna #compassion #mudita #sympatheticjoy #brahmavihara #divineabodes

Ajahn Dhammasiha responds to a question from the audience: What's the meaning of Anatta ( Not Self ) ? In particular, Ajahn reflects about the important distinction between Not Self (anatta), which the Buddha expounded very frequently, and No Self (natth'attā), which the Buddha actually never taught. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Spotify Playlists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Youtube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pics⁠⁠ #anatta #notself #not-self #buddhism #dhammatalk

Ajahn Dhammasiha and Ajahn Moneyyo recite the traditional Pali verses of blessing, anumodanā, and sharing of merits with departed loved ones. This is what we chant every day for our kind and generous donors, when they offer alsmfood for the monks' daily meal. You can read the full Pali text and English translation in this blog post on our website. Below is only about half the chant, as much as fits into the podcast description: "Yathā vāri-vahā pūrā paripūrenti sāgaraṃ Evam-eva ito dinnaṃ petānaṃ upakappati. Icchitaṃ patthitaṃ tumhaṃ khippam-eva samijjhatu; Sabbe pūrentu sankappā cando paṇṇa-raso yathā maṇi joti-raso yathā. As all the water in the streams is flowing to the boundless sea, Just likewise all your offerings   are flowing to the spirit world. And all you wish for and desire   shall soon and safely be attained; May wholesome wishes be fulfilled just like the moon at full-moon night   just like a wish fulfilling gem. Sabb'ītiyo vivajjantu, sabba-rogo vinassatu; Mā te bhavatv-antarāyo,   sukhī dīgh'āyuko bhava. May all distress come to an end,    may all desease be quickly healed, May all your problems be resolved, may you live long and happily. Abhivādana-sīlissa,   niccaṃ vuḍḍh'āpacāyino; Cattāro dhammā vaḍḍhanti:   Āyu vaṇṇo sukhaṃ balaṃ. When someone's always honouring    the elders worthy of respect, Then they will grow in these four things:    long life, strength, beauty, happiness. ( ... ) (Not enough space in this description to include everything) Also, please note the monks only chant the Pali part, English translation above is just for your information. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Spotify Playlists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Youtube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pics⁠⁠ #blessing #anumodana #sharingmerits #buddhistchanting #palichanting

A couple getting married was interested to get some advice on Buddhist teachings how to make a marriage work, so that it lasts long and both spouses can live in harmony. Ajahn Dhammasiha cites a study done in Italy with functional MRI brain scans, that claimed to have found that the feeling of romantic love biologically is not designed to last for decades. In fact, the researchers considered the absolute maximum duration as approximately 4 years or so (though often it is much shorter). This seems to agree with personal experience of most people. As marriage is usually supposed to last a whole lifetime, it follows that romantic love lasting max 4 years can not be a sufficient foundation. Instead, a married couple has to build up other qualities in their relationship, which sound much less 'romantic', but actually do last for a lifetime... ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Spotify Playlists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Youtube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pics⁠⁠ #wedding #marriage #love #commitment #respect #buddhism #dhamma

"For one dependent, there is wavering. Without dependence, there's no wavering. Without wavering, there's tranquility. With tranquility, there's no inclination. Without inclination, there's no coming and going. Without coming and going, there's no passing away and rearising. Without passing away and rearising, there's no here or there or anywhere in between. This, just this, is the end of suffering." Udāna 9.4 "Catuttha-nibbāna-paṭisaṃyutta-sutta" Inspired Exclamations 9.4 "4th Sutta re Nibbāna" Ajahn Dhammasiha offeres some reflections on this profound sutta, an inspired exclamation the Buddha uttered in verse when he was teaching Dhamma related to Nibbāna, and the monks where all listening fully attentive. Ajahn Ṭhānissaro's (Ajaan Geoff's) translation of the Udāna is available for free download as epub, pdf and other formats here. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Spotify Playlists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Youtube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pics⁠ #Udana #InspiredUtterance #exclamations #SuttaStudy #Nibbana #Nirvana .

It's so important not to only look at all the bad things happening, or to be mostly focussed our own faults. Without denying negative events, we can discoved so much that's good, wholesome and admirable, both in ourselves and in others. If we only pay attention to the bad things, we feel miserable. If we notice and appreciate all that's good, we fill our lives with rejoicing, joy and muditā. Ajahn Dhammasiha also addresses questions about: 23:27 Meaning of 'psasāda' (confidence/faith)? 25:10 Is the desire to realize Nibbāna a 'good' desire? 29:20 Why didn't the Bodhisatta's first teacher didn't attain nibbāna themselves, as they had already realized very deep samādhi? 33:55 Anāpāṇasati (mindfulness of the breath) or Mettā (loving kindness) as meditation object? Related to the last question, Ajahn explains how to easily find any of our podcasts: Just enter any subject you're interested in, and all the relevant podcast will show up to listen to. ⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our Spotify Playlists⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Dhammagiri Youtube Channel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Pics⁠ #joy #rejoicing #mudita #goodness #meditation