Darkseid's Couch

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée line their cage with Hawkman no. 7! In the first adventure, the sunlight-powered villain I.Q. is on the loose and only Hawkman and Hawkgirl care enough to try to stop him! Can the Hawks put an end to the man whose whole thing is that he's kinda smart under certain conditions? Let's just say there's a reason he's not a Batman villain. Then, the Hawks travel to Egypt to confront buff dudes in animal masks decades before 'Eyes Wide Shut' made that kind of thing cool.

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée stuff the ballot box with Your Vote is Vital! It's election day and Uncle Sam is so full of patriotism that he's gonna be hanging out at the polls all day instead of spending time with the loved ones that he definitely has! Come along as he attempts to educate a string of low-information dunces who can't be trusted to dress themselves, much less choose the leader of the free world!

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée let the jokes write themselves when they read Giant-Size Man-Thing no. 1! He's got a silly name, a sillier nose, and the silliest book title of all, it's Man-Thing! And he's taking on the greatest threat of all: Philosophy students! Then, it's a bevy of batty back-up stories involving ice monsters, invisible men, and insecure alien invaders! Celebrate Halloween with a sugar rush of comic book nonsense!

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée lay down some papers for Animal Man no. 71! Enraged at the world that done him wrong, the man with the animal powers has decided to get literal with it and transform himself into an horrific chimera creature! But even worse: He's gotten super preachy about his views on the environment! Can Animal Man be reasoned with before he starts trying to sell us on his vegan deodorant business?!

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée spend some time with the member of Batman's rouge's gallery who's spent the least amount of time coming up with his gimmick, Man-Bat! It's the second and final issue of Man-Bat's swingin' 70s solo series, and the scientist-turned-chiropteran (it means 'bat') is going out with a bang! Having moved to Chicago to escape the rampant Batman-related face-punchery of Gotham City, Man-Bat instead finds himself in the crosshairs of the nefarious Ten-Eyed Man! It's the battle of the D-tier Batman villains and the stakes couldn't be lower! Crank up that new Rough Muffin album and get ready to root for no one!

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée zip on back to 1941 to check out Zip Comics no. 17! It's eight big, bountiful tales of pugilism and WWII-era patriotism as a load of beefy dudes punch each other out in the name of freedom! But if that's not your bag, don't worry: There's also explorations into circus crime, cow physics, and an incident with a couple of young boys and a very hungry witch that will get us demonetized if we don't stop describing it right this minute. So just press play before we get in as much hot water as those two unlucky boys found themselves in that one unfortunate day!

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée swoop down and gracefully land on Darkhawk no. 1! Young Christopher Powell is a typical angsty 90s kid with a couple of dopey brothers and a set of parents who can't seem to figure out how to take an easy bribe. But when his family's overall schmuckiness lands him in a creepy abandoned carnival, he'll discover a mystical lava lamp that gives him the power to transform into the mighty avenger known as Darkhawk! Yes, he's still entirely forgettable, but when it comes to most of the flavorless gruel Marvel churned out in the early 90s, maybe you're actually hoping not to be remembered.

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée RIP off the Band-Aid and go HUNTING for something good to say about Rip Hunter... Time Master no. 12! Time-traveler/suburban loungewear model Rip Hunter has been called upon to get rid of a dangerous meteor that's been hanging out at Stonehenge for centuries, becoming an object of worship for the easily-impressed buffoons of the past! Rip will gather the most whitebread people you've ever seen in your life and start ping-ponging through the ages, disrespecting the ancient gods, the timestream, and history as a whole until a solution just kinda... makes itself known. Just goes to show you how far you can go with a clean shirt and a well-maintained coif of blonde hair.

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée fry their circuits over Magnus, Robot Fighter no. 9! In the year 4001 AD, there are only two things that sci-fi adventurer Magnus hates: Robots, and the idea that any robot has gone unfighted. But when conflict brews between the residents of upscale North Am and the rebellious freewill bots of Synchron, can Magnus prevent an all-out war? Well, that all depends: Does fighting robots prevent all-out war? Then yes. Magnus is your guy.

This time on the Couch: Mike, James, and Shée dig deep into the DC vault with three tales from Showcase '93 no. 6! First, Robin steps out from Batman's shadow to take down a terrifying mob boss using nothing but his wits and a couple of Constitutional violations. Then, the joykilling Blue Devil won't let an innocent demon enjoy his simple meal of every single living creature he can get his claws on. Finally, Peacemaker heads to Poland to reclaims his family's land, but it's been taken over by capitalist reptiles! This is why you just rent forever, people!