Cinephobe Ep 238: Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

After taking tandem dumps at the airport, Zach, Amin and Mayes are headed to Paris! Unfortunately, Death's Sadistic Design gets in the way and they are forced to retreat to a cabin in the woods and survive off of cat food. BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video. Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify. Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads: CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod  Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops Threads: @talkhoops Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin  Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach, Amin and Mayes are detectives at the rainiest precinct in all of Los Angeles, hot on the trail of a serial killer called the Family Man. Or are they the Glimmermen, former CIA operatives with a preternatural ability to identify Russians, hot on the trail of their former handler? No, actually they're Steven Seagal, showing up in his own wardrobe, 2 hours late, after restocking on powdered deer penis in Chinatown. BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video. Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify. Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads: CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod  Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops Threads: @talkhoops Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin  Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's a dirty job coming up with the worst forms of employment in Cinephobe, and the somebodies that have to do it are Zach, Amin and Mayes. Whether they don't make money, have bad benefits, don't offer upward mobility or straight up aren't real jobs, the only thing we know for sure is you don't want them. BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video. Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify. Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads: CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod  Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops Threads: @talkhoops Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin  Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach, Amin and Mayes are double dipping on 1997 Volcano movies as lava flows out of the La Brea Tar Pits and Tommy Lee Jones is given the power to command and control all the resources of Los Angeles. BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video. Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify. Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads: CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod  Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops Threads: @talkhoops Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin  Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach, Amin, Mayes and Mike are putting the pod on alert! BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video. Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify. Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads: CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod  Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops Threads: @talkhoops Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin  Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach, Amin and Mayes are putting together a team, a team of villains and antagonists that are the worst at what they do. They are annoying, display misguided business practices and find themselves outwitted and overmatched by heroes that they should wipe the floor with. BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video. Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify. Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads: CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod  Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops Threads: @talkhoops Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin  Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach, Amin, Mayes and Mike recommend you put the pod on alert. BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video. Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify. Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads: CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod  Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops Threads: @talkhoops Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin  Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach Amin and Mayes are deployed to Fallujah but end up in Mexico for this memorial day episode unlocked from the Patreon. Grab some tacos and cervezas, shove your arm into a cannon and pick out your favorite karaoke song... it's time to GIT R DONE. BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video. Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify. Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads: CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod  Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops Threads: @talkhoops Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin  Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the second ever episode of Cinephobe (Next), Zach, Amin and Mayes discovered the Mensa member and extremely opinionated author slash movie critic H. Anthony Medley. Unfortunately, despite reviewing hundreds of films since 2002, there are plenty of movies we've done that Tony has not reviewed. In this CT5, we compile the movies that we wish Tony had seen and reviewed, speculating on what we think we would have said and which films would have inspired classic scrutiny from our Toluca Lake Legend. BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video. Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify. Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads: CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod  Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops Threads: @talkhoops Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin  Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach, Amin and Mayes don't play with the bad boys anymore as they track down that scallywag Stavros in their iridium lensed Oakley shades. Offense gets the glory - But defense wins the game! BRAND NEW CINEPHOBE MERCH - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Join the Count The Dings Patreon for exclusive Rewatchingtons, Ad-Free Episodes, extended cold opens and more at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Cinephobe is now on Youtube! Subscribe and check out CT5s on Video. Subscribe to Cinephobe! Then Rate 5 Stars on Apple or Spotify. Follow Cinephobe on Twitter, Instagram & Threads: CTD @countthedings IG: @cinephobepod Threads: @cinephobepod  Zach Harper @talkhoops IG: @talkhoops Threads: @talkhoops Amin Elhassan @darthamin IG: @darthamin Threads: @darthamin  Anthony Mayes @cornpuzzle IG: @cornpuzzle Threads: @cornpuzzle Email: [email protected] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices