Centring Down with Compassion

## Befriending Our Eating Parts: An IFS Approach to Disordered Eating What if the parts of us that struggle with food are not our enemies, but are trying, in their own ways, to protect us? In this reflective talk, Carolyn Baynes explores our relationship with food through the compassionate lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Disordered eating is used here not as a clinical diagnosis, but to describe a relationship with food that has become troubled, restrictive, compulsive or preoccupying. Perhaps we turn to food for comfort, create rigid rules around eating, or find ourselves caught in painful battles with our bodies. Rather than trying to silence or control these parts, IFS invites us to become curious about what they are trying to protect us from. Together, we explore three areas that influence our relationship with food: - **Social:** The cultural and family messages we absorb about food, weight and body image. - **Biological:** How our bodies, sensory experiences and feelings of hunger and fullness interact with our parts. - **Psychological:** The emotional meanings of food, including comfort, safety, belonging and connection. Throughout the recording, there are gentle pauses and invitations to turn inward, notice your own eating parts and begin listening to them with compassion. Perhaps healing begins not with another battle over food, but with a different relationship with the parts of us that have been fighting so hard. **Find out more** If this reflection resonates with you, and you would like to explore how IFS therapy might support you, you are warmly invited to visit: https://carolynbaynes.co.uk

**Making Space to Breathe | An IFS Meditation for Welcoming All Our Parts** What if the parts of us that distract us during meditation don't need to be silenced, but simply welcomed? In this gentle Internal Family Systems (IFS) inspired meditation, we begin by inviting all our parts to be present, including those that feel restless, distracted or reluctant to settle. Using the breath as an anchor, we gradually bring our attention from the nostrils to the chest and then down into the abdomen, noticing the sensations of breathing and the space that opens up within us. Along the way, we pause to check in with our inner world, offering appreciation to the parts that have allowed us to settle, and compassion to those that still need our attention. There is no need to force stillness or make anything happen. Instead, we practise creating a welcoming inner space where all our parts can feel heard, respected and included. The meditation ends with an invitation to listen inwardly and notice what feels alive within us, allowing our parts to speak for themselves. **Would you like to explore this further?** I'm Carolyn Baynes, an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist offering compassionate, attuned therapy in Farnham, Surrey, and online. If you find that parts of you struggle to settle, feel overwhelmed or are longing to be heard, I warmly invite you to get in touch. We can explore together what these parts might need, at a pace that feels right for you. You can find out more about my therapy practice or contact me here: https://carolynbaynes.co.uk

How do we stay connected to our parts after an unburdening? And how can we continue to nurture the relationship with the younger, more vulnerable parts of ourselves? In this guided IFS meditation, I explore the practice of loving kindness as a gentle way of offering care, compassion and connection to our inner world. We begin with a little pre-flight check – an invitation to pause, notice whether any parts have reservations about meditating or sitting still, and seek their consent before beginning. This is my own addition to the familiar Six Fs of IFS: a seventh F, helping us remember to check that our inner system feels ready. From there, we invite a part into our awareness and the relational space between us, bringing curiosity, compassion and the warmth of loving kindness. Using phrases such as: May you be safe. May you be happy, healthy and well. May you know you are loved and appreciated. May you live with peace and ease. We offer these words gently, allowing space to notice how each part responds, adapting the language so that it feels meaningful and right for that particular part. There is no need to force anything or make anything happen. Simply an invitation to slow down, listen and deepen the relationship with our inner world. A practice of remembering that our parts don’t need to be fixed or changed; they need to feel seen, welcomed and loved. If this meditation resonates with you and you’d like to explore IFS or parts work in a supportive therapeutic relationship, you’re very welcome to get in touch. Visit carolynbaynes.co.uk to find out more.

Coming Home to Your Body: Offering Loving Kindness to Our Parts In this gentle guided meditation, we begin by settling into the body, grounding through our feet and allowing ourselves to come home to the present moment. Drawing on the Buddhist practice of metta, or loving-kindness, and the principles of Internal Family Systems (IFS), we explore two fundamental questions that live within us: Am I safe? Am I loved? Just as children look to the adults around them for reassurance and connection, our inner parts may also be longing to feel safe, loved and appreciated. This practice invites us to turn towards those parts with warmth and compassion, offering them words of kindness, health, peace and ease. You are welcome to adapt the phrases to suit your own parts, allowing the words to find their own meaning within you. There is no need to force anything or make a particular feeling happen. Simply pause, notice your body, and see what emerges as you create space for connection, calm and Self-energy. A gentle invitation to slow down, reconnect with yourself and offer your inner world the care and appreciation it deserves. If you’d like to explore how IFS and body awareness might support you in your own life and relationships, you’re warmly invited to get in touch with me through my website at carolynbaynes.co.uk.

Breathing and Sweeping the Floor: Meeting Your Inner Parts Following on from my reflection on the balance between being and doing, this short guided meditation invites you to gently meet the different parts of yourself that are working hard to keep life moving, and those that are longing for rest, quiet and breathing space. Drawing on Internal Family Systems (IFS), we’ll explore these parts with curiosity and compassion, offering appreciation for the different ways they are trying to care for us. There’s nothing to fix or change. Just a little time to pause, listen and welcome all the different needs within you. If you’d like to explore how IFS can help you understand your parts and find a more compassionate balance in your life, I’d love to hear from you. You can get in touch via carolynbaynes.co.uk.

Breathing and Sweeping the Floor: Finding Balance Between Being and Doing A Zen saying has stayed with me over the years: There are two aspects to a spiritual life — breathing and sweeping the floor. In this reflective episode, I explore the balance between being and doing, and how our different parts, through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), can pull us towards rest and stillness or keep us busy achieving, organising and caring for others. What if these two aspects of life didn’t have to compete? What if we could bring curiosity, compassion and presence to both our quiet moments and our everyday tasks? Join me as we explore how small, ordinary activities can become gateways back to ourselves, helping us find a little more balance, connection and ease in our lives and relationships. If you’d like to explore how IFS can help you understand your inner world and find a more compassionate balance in your life, I’d love to hear from you. Please get in touch via carolynbaynes.co.uk.

Liquid Love: Remembering Your Connection to Self In this short, gentle meditation, you’re invited to settle into your body and experience the warmth and nourishment of what we might call liquid love — the endless availability of Self energy, flowing into us and connecting us to ourselves, to one another and to the world around us. Imagine your body as a jug, slowly filling with this warm, loving presence. Feel it flowing up from your feet and legs, pooling in your belly and gently rising through your body, inviting softness, relaxation and a sense of connection. Drawing on the wisdom of Internal Family Systems (IFS), this meditation explores the practice of remembering: finding ways to return to an embodied sense of Self, especially when life pulls us away from that connection. Through the imagery of roots reaching into the earth and mycelium connecting us beneath the surface, we explore both our deep inner grounding and our connection with others. You’re invited to discover a simple, everyday anchor — perhaps sipping a hot drink, taking a shower or opening a door — that can remind you to pause, reconnect and let your system know that this loving presence is available. As Desmond Tutu reminds us, we are all light bulbs; we just need to stay screwed in. Take a few moments to reconnect with yourself, welcome your parts and remember the connection that is always there, waiting to be found. If you’d like to explore how IFS and embodied awareness might support you in your own life, relationships or therapeutic journey, I’d love to hear from you. Please get in touch through my website at carolynbaynes.co.uk.

Ground, Greet and Gather: A Meditation in Self-Compassion and Connection In this gentle, guided meditation, you are invited to slow down, settle into your body and reconnect with yourself through the simple practice of grounding, greeting and gathering. Beginning with the soles of your feet resting on the ground, we gradually bring our attention through the body, from the legs and pelvis to the belly, chest, arms, hands and face. Using the image of liquid light or liquid love, we explore what it might feel like to offer every part of ourselves a little more attention, warmth and kindness. Drawing on the principles of Internal Family Systems (IFS), this meditation invites you to welcome your inner parts as you might welcome an old friend into your home: with a smile, a place to sit, and something to eat and drink. Rather than trying to change or fix anything, we make space for whatever is present, allowing our parts to feel seen, received and connected. The meditation includes Derek Walcott’s beautiful poem Love After Love, which speaks to the profound experience of returning to ourselves and welcoming home the parts of us that may have felt like strangers. You might like to settle somewhere comfortable, give yourself a little uninterrupted time, and see what happens when you offer yourself this simple invitation: Come in. You are welcome here. If you would like to explore how IFS and body awareness might support you in developing a kinder, more connected relationship with yourself, I would love to hear from you. Please get in touch through my website, carolynbaynes.co.uk, to find out more about working with me. You are warmly welcome, just as you are.

What helps us feel grounded, connected and more fully ourselves? In this gentle, guided meditation, we explore the three Gs: Grounded, Greeted and Gathered — a simple way of arriving in the present moment and making space for ourselves and all our different parts. Through gentle body awareness, we explore our vertical connection with the earth and sky, finding our own sense of balance and alignment. We then widen our awareness to the horizontal connections that surround us: our relationships, our communities and the natural world. You’ll be invited to imagine an everyday activity that brings you pleasure or helps you access Self-energy — perhaps walking, dancing or spending time in nature. As you reconnect with these experiences of grounding and relationship, you can begin to notice how this sense of connection might become more available to you in daily life. Drawing on the spirit of Internal Family Systems (IFS), this practice offers a welcoming space for your different parts to come forward, be noticed and have a voice, without pressure or judgement. There is nothing you need to achieve. Simply arrive as you are, notice what is here, and allow space for whatever parts of you would like to be heard. I hope this practice offers you a little more grounding, connection and room to be yourself. If you’d like to explore IFS therapy or discover how this work might support you in your own life or relationships, please get in touch with me through carolynbaynes.co.uk.

The Art of Remembering: Body Awareness, Self-Energy and IFS What if coming home to yourself is less about learning something new, and more about remembering what has always been here? In this gentle, guided meditation, we explore the art of remembering through the body, using a slow, mindful body scan to reconnect with the present moment and the sensations that are here for us, whenever we are ready to notice them. Imagine tuning your inner radio to your body. With kindness and curiosity, we move our awareness from the soles of our feet, through our legs and up towards the crown of the head, allowing an “inner photocopier light” to travel through the body in its own time. Along the way, we reflect on remembering and dismemberment, and how parts of ourselves can sometimes feel disconnected or far away. From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, this disconnection may have a protective purpose, so there is no need to force anything or override what our system needs. Instead, we practise gently turning back towards the body, allowing our minds to wander and remembering that we can return. Each time we do, we create another opportunity to reconnect with ourselves. The meditation gradually widens into an awareness of the relational space between us, inviting any parts that wish to be present to come forward and perhaps share something they would like us to remember about them. There is no pressure to experience anything particular, and no need to get it right. This is simply an invitation to slow down, listen inwardly and discover what becomes possible when we meet ourselves with gentleness. If you’d like to explore Internal Family Systems therapy and develop a deeper relationship with your own parts, I’d love to hear from you. Please get in touch through carolynbaynes.co.uk.