Beyond the Type: An Enneagram-Inspired Podcast about Being Human.

Why does one comment from a family member send you from zero to sixty, while someone else at the table barely reacts? In this episode of Beyond the Type, Sandy explores the "buttons" that get pushed during family gatherings and what may be happening underneath those reactions. Using the nine Enneagram types as a guide, Sandy looks at what makes certain comments or situations especially uncomfortable. From the Type 1 who struggles when things don't go as planned to the Type 6 scanning for everything that could go wrong, each type has its own sensitivities, strengths, and ways of responding when a button gets pushed. You'll learn: Why telling someone to “calm down,” “relax,” or “stop worrying” can make the situation worse How our strengths and gifts can become the very things that get us into trouble when they're overused Why the same comment can land very differently depending on what matters most to someone Practical ways to respond when your own buttons get pushed How to support family members whose buttons may be getting pushed, without dismissing or trying to fix their reactions Listeners will discover how to recognize their own triggers, take care of themselves, and better understand the people around the holiday table. ___ If you’re tired of getting your buttons pushed, coaching can help you understand what’s underneath those reactions and what keeps pulling you into familiar patterns.Sandy works with clients who want to understand themselves more deeply, communicate more clearly, and have more choice in how they respond.You can learn more about working with Sandy here:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/work-with-me Curious about the Enneagram but not sure where to start?  Sandy also offers Enneagram Typing Sessions. These sessions are one-on-one conversations where Sandy helps you explore your patterns, motivations, fears, and the type you may lead with. It’s a great way to experience coaching and get a taste of how Sandy works.  More info on Typing sessions here:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/typinginterview ___  Enneagram, Enneagram types, Enneagram triggers, family triggers, holiday stress, Thanksgiving family dynamics, family conflict, emotional reactions, emotional awareness, self-awareness, personal development, family relationships, communication, difficult family members, holiday gatherings, people pleasing, boundaries, anger, shame, fear, Centers of Intelligence, Enneagram motivations, Enneagram values, self-understanding, managing reactions, staying curious, Beyond the Type, Sandy Swanson, Swanson Coaching

The holidays can bring us together with people we love, people we tolerate, and people who seem to know exactly which buttons to push. A comment about your career, relationship, appearance, or life choices can pull you into defensiveness, frustration, or an argument before you even realize what’s happening. In this episode, Sandy explores how to stay calm and present when family gatherings get complicated, which Enneagram type's virtue to draw on, and you’ll learn four simple practices for noticing when you’re getting pulled into the drama, including: • How to use your body to ground yourself when a conversation starts getting heated• Why using your senses is also a great way to stay present instead of in your head• How to recognize the comments and questions that tend to “hook” you, and what to do when those come up• Why taking breaks during family gatherings can help you stay connected instead of running out of patience• Why practicing these skills before the holidays is important If you’re tired of finding yourself reacting to the same family dynamics year after year, coaching can help you understand what’s underneath those reactions and what keeps pulling you into familiar patterns.Sandy works with clients who want to understand themselves more deeply, communicate more clearly, and have more choice in how they respond.You can learn more about working with Sandy here:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/work-with-me Curious about the Enneagram but not sure where to start?  Sandy also offers Enneagram Typing Sessions. These sessions are one-on-one conversations where Sandy helps you explore your patterns, motivations, fears, and the type you may lead with. It’s a great way to experience coaching and get a taste of how Sandy works.  More info on Typing sessions here:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/typinginterview ___family gatherings, difficult family members, family drama, holiday family stress, Thanksgiving family conflict, Thanksgiving stress, holiday stress, family conflict, dealing with difficult family members, how to deal with difficult family members, staying calm around family, staying calm during the holidays, family triggers, emotional triggers, reacting to family, family arguments, family relationships, difficult family conversations, setting boundaries with family, managing family stress, grounding techniques, staying present, emotional regulation, nervous system regulation, Enneagram, Enneagram and relationships, Enneagram self-awareness, Enneagram coaching, Enneagram typing, personal growth, communication skills, self-awareness, holiday relationships

Whether it’s fear of failure, being unloved or unworthy, rejection, losing control, being in pain, or being left behind, most of us have a box somewhere with those fears and worries neatly packed away so we don’t have to deal with them. Well, in Part 3 of this 3-part Halloween series, Sandy is dealing with them. Join her as she heads down into a spooky basement to open a box labeled “Your Worst Fears and Nightmares. DO NOT OPEN!” Inside are nine nightmare scenarios that reach the fears beneath our everyday worries, and each one points to a belief we carry about ourselves and the world around us. But the box holds a surprise, too: a message that offers another way to understand each fear. In this episode, Sandy shares: Nine “nightmares” that reveal some of our deepest fears How the Enneagram’s core fears can show up in ordinary moments The messages we may have needed to hear as children, and how they can help counter old beliefs about ourselves Why fear can serve a purpose, and what happens when it starts to feel like a nightmare How therapy or coaching can help when fear and anxiety feel too heavy to work through alone You don’t have to face your worst fears all at once; sometimes the first step is just opening the box. So grab a flashlight, and come down to the basement with Sandy (and don't worry, she'll tape the box back up at the end of the episode!). ___ Part 1 of the Halloween Series -  The Costumes We Wear: What Your Enneagram Type Reveals About Youhttps://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149266723 Part 2 of the Halloween Series - When a Role Doesn’t Fit: Masks and the Pressure to Fit Inhttps://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149276051 Learn more about working with Sandy:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/ ___ Enneagram, core fears, basic fears, what are you really afraid of, fear of being left behind, Enneagram lost messages, fear and anxiety, worst-case scenario thinking, why we imagine the worst, overcoming fear, childhood core beliefs, limiting beliefs and fear, messages we need to hear as children, emotional patterns, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of losing control, fear of being unwanted, fear of being ordinary, fear of being incompetent, fear of uncertainty, fear of emotional pain, understanding the nine Enneagram types, Enneagram self-awareness, personal growth and development, how to understand your fears, working through anxiety, why we fear making mistakes, Halloween fears and nightmares, Sandy Swanson, Beyond the Type      

Most of us wear masks and play different roles in life, sometimes to fit in, make others comfortable, or meet expectations about who we should be. But how do you know when you’re adapting to a situation and when you’re trying to be someone you’re not?? In Part 2 of this 3-part Halloween series, Sandy looks at the masks we wear, the roles we play, and how the Enneagram can help us understand some of the patterns behind the way we adapt to others. She talks about shapeshifting, including how it can show up for Enneagram Types 2 and 3, and why we sometimes lose touch with who we are underneath the image we present to the world. Sandy also gets into what happens when you’re miscast in a role that doesn’t fit your strengths or who you are. Along the way, you’ll meet Clark Kent (and the questions about his glasses that keep Sandy up at night), a very miscast Jason Momoa in Little Shop of Horrors (spoiler alert: the plant files a restraining order), and two real-life coaching stories about the difference between growing into a new role and forcing yourself into something that was never a good fit. In this episode: • Why we wear masks, the pressure to fit in, and how our behavior can change depending on who we’re with • What the Enneagram can teach us about adapting to other people, particularly through the patterns of Types 2 and 3 • How to recognize when a role doesn’t fit, even when you’re working hard to make it work • Why feeling uncomfortable in a new role isn’t always a bad sign • How to tell the difference between personal growth and trying to live up to someone else’s expectations The goal isn’t to stay in roles that feel comfortable or avoid every situation that challenges us. It’s to know ourselves well enough to recognize when we’re growing into something meaningful and when we’re exhausting ourselves trying to be someone we’re not. This is Part 2 of a three-part Halloween series. Next week, Sandy heads down into the basement to open some boxes you may have been avoiding for years. Bring a flashlight! ___ Part 1 of the Halloween Series -  The Costumes We Wear: What Your Enneagram Type Reveals About Youhttps://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149266723 Learn more about working with Sandy:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/ ___ masks we wear, roles we play, when a role doesn’t fit, miscast, trying to be someone you’re not, pressure to fit in, fitting in at work, Enneagram, Enneagram Type 2, Enneagram Type 3, shapeshifting, people-pleasing, self-awareness, personal growth, identity, workplace roles, career fit, expectations, coaching, finding yourself, Halloween, Sandy Swanson, Beyond the Type

If you had a closet full of costumes, which one would you reach for first? Not a witch’s hat or a vampire cape, but the familiar roles we slip into without a second thought: the one who gets things done, the one everyone counts on, the one who smooths over an awkward moment before anyone else notices. In this first episode of a three-part Halloween series, Sandy opens the closet door and walks through a wardrobe of very recognizable (and very stereotypical) costumes, from the leather jacket to the pressed shirt, the floral dress and pearls to the pocket protector. She also shares her own childhood costume as “the silly one,” complete with a mime and a Marcel Marceau quote. Along the way, Sandy offers a look at the Enneagram’s nine motivations and why the costume that feels most natural isn’t always the one that feels most comfortable. In this episode: A tour of nine costumes The difference between a costume that feels comfortable and one that feels natural Why you can wear a role for years and forget it has a zipper What motivates us to wear these costumes A simple way to sort your closet: keep it, tailor it, or move it to the back Your costumes aren’t fake, and you don’t have to throw any of them out. The more clearly you can see which one you’re wearing, the more choice you have about when to put it on. ___Connect with me at SwansonCoaching.com ___Enneagram, Enneagram types, Enneagram podcast, Enneagram motivations, Halloween, personal development, life coach podcast, roles we play, family roles, childhood roles, people-pleasing, perfectionism, self-awareness, emotional awareness, patterns and habits, personality patterns, motivation, authenticity, choice, belonging, self-trust, holistic coaching, leadership coach, ICF certified coach, NBC-HWC health and wellness coach, Beyond the Type, Sandy Swanson, SwansonCoaching    

Saying no can be surprisingly difficult, especially when you’ve learned to equate being kind with keeping other people happy. You may know what you want to say, but then the guilt kicks in, you start explaining yourself, or you worry that someone will think you’re selfish, difficult, or just a jerk. In this episode, Sandy shares a text exchange with a friend and uses it to explore how to say no without feeling guilty or like a jerk. She offers three simple scripts for setting boundaries, looks at where the "jerk" feeling comes from, and shows how the Enneagram can shape what makes saying "no" feel easy or hard. In this episode: Why the other person's reaction can't measure the quality of a boundary Three simple ways to say no: the counteroffer, the pause, and the short, kind no Where the "jerk" feeling comes from, and a body check to find out what your yes and your no are telling you How Enneagram Types 2, 9, 6, 7, 8, and 5 tend to experience saying no, including why a strong boundary isn't always a healthy one A simple filter image for deciding what you let in and what you keep out With strong boundaries, others can be disappointed *and* you can still be a good person. The more you practice, the more you learn to trust your own voice. ___Learn more about working with me:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/work-with-me Beyond the Type episode on Nonviolent Communication:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149112636 ___ how to say no without feeling guilty, how to say no without feeling like a jerk, how to say no without sounding like a jerk, saying no without guilt, how to say no politely, how to say no nicely, scripts for saying no, how to set boundaries, setting boundaries, boundaries and guilt, guilt after saying no, people-pleasing, how to stop people pleasing, difficult conversations, assertive communication, Nonviolent Communication, self-trust, finding your voice,  Enneagram, Enneagram boundaries, Enneagram Type 2, Enneagram Type 5, Enneagram Type 6, Enneagram Type 7, Enneagram Type 8, Enneagram Type 9, personal development podcast, life coach podcast, holistic coaching podcast, Sandy Swanson, Swanson Coaching

Have you ever felt fine one moment, and then the next moment something throws you completely off balance? Life is like that.  And the Enneagram can be an excellent framework for regaining balance. In this episode, Sandy uses a hiking trail (and one spectacularly ungraceful cat) to explore what balance looks like through the lens of the Enneagram. Rather than treating balance as a fixed state you finally arrive at, Sandy reframes it as a series of small, constant adjustments. She also walks you through four aspects of the Enneagram that can help you see where those adjustments are needed most. This episode explores: Why balance isn't the absence of movement, and what that reframe means for how we use the Enneagram day-to-day Centers of Intelligence and Stance: how we take in the world, and how we move through it to get our needs met Harmonic Groups: the three different ways we respond when things get difficult, including a true story about a hiking accident on a Colorado 14er Instincts: where our attention and energy naturally go, and how self-preservation, social, and sexual instincts shape each Enneagram type Why trying to be balanced all the time isn't actually the goal (and what is) Balance is never about standing still. It's about knowing how to adjust, one small shift at a time.Sign up to be the first to know about new episodes, articles, programs, and offers:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/ ___ Podcast on pressure and balance: When Self-Improvement Becomes Another Way to Fail: Finding the balance between challenging yourself and giving yourself some gracehttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/when-self-improvement-becomes-another-way-to-fail-finding/id1822403955?i=1000791758415 Podcast on Dolly Parton:  What was Dolly Parton's Enneagram Type?  (a nerdy dive into ambition, motivation, and subtypes)https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-was-dolly-partons-enneagram-type-a-nerdy-dive/id1822403955?i=1000788012166 Podcast on Stance: Why You Talk Too Much, Withdraw, or Bulldoze Peoplehttps://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149067197 ___Enneagram, centers of intelligence, stance, harmonic groups, instincts, self preservation, social, sexual, one to one, subtypes, personal growth, self awareness, nervous system regulation, coaching, ICF certified coach, NBC-HWC health and wellness coach, Sandy Swanson, Beyond the Type podcast, Enneagram Type 1, Enneagram Type 2, Enneagram Type 3, Enneagram Type 4, Enneagram Type 5, Enneagram Type 6, Enneagram Type 7, Enneagram Type 8, Enneagram Type 9, holistic coaching emotional balance

Have you ever tried to relax, meditate, or simply enjoy a walk outside, and ended up feeling like you failed at it? In this episode, Sandy explores the pressure to optimize even our rest:  to meditate without a single wandering thought, to be fully present in nature without a trace of distraction, to regulate every emotion before it shows up. Using a story from a recent hike (and a chatty bird that refused to cooperate with a bird ID app) alongside an experience gleaned from a circus high-wire act, she gets into what it actually means to find balance, and why trying to be perfectly balanced can become its own kind of pressure. In this episode: Why turning self-improvement into a standard to meet often backfires The difference between challenging yourself and punishing yourself What a circus performer falling off a high wire has to do with self-improvement How the Enneagram's stances and centers of intelligence point toward balance rather than perfection A simple shift for giving yourself grace when you notice you're distracted, curious, or simply being human If you've ever felt like you were failing at relaxing, or failing at growth itself, this episode offers a different way to think about what balance actually requires. Connect with me:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/  ___self-improvement pressure, when self-improvement becomes too much, personal growth burnout, pressure to optimize yourself, mindfulness pressure, how to stop overthinking meditation, wellness culture pressure, balance not perfection, self-acceptance, grace vs discipline, presence and distraction, overthinking, comparison and self-judgment, Enneagram stances, Enneagram centers of intelligence, head heart gut balance, Enneagram, personal development podcast, life coach podcast, holistic coaching, nervous system, self-compassion, emotional regulation, meditation struggles, being present in nature, Beyond the Type, Sandy Swanson, SwansonCoaching

You know that feeling when you're scrolling on social media, and you see a former classmate who just bought a lake house, and you think, "Why isn't my life like that?" Or you're up for a promotion at work, you look around and decide everyone else is more qualified, so what's the point? In this episode of Beyond the Type, Sandy explores comparison, using a "mirror and window" metaphor to unpack why we measure ourselves against everyone else's life instead of our own. Drawing on Leon Festinger's social comparison theory, Sandy looks at why the comparisons that hit hardest are the ones closest to us (and how social media has widened what "close" even means - yes, I'm talking about those influencers and people you follow and see every day in your feed!). Sandy also brings in the Enneagram, focusing on Type 4's relationship to envy, and closes with a somatic exercise she uses with her clients to help listeners feel the difference between comparison and its opposite:  Presence, enoughness, and abundance. This episode explores: The mirror and window metaphor, and why the window is so much easier to look at Leon Festinger's social comparison theory, and why the comparisons closest to us affect us most How online relationships (with influencers, creators, even TV characters) can make a stranger feel as close as someone in your own life Why Type 4 energy, and its passion of envy, has comparison built into its wiring A somatic exercise to help you feel the shift from comparison and scarcity into presence and abundance Comparison isn't something to eliminate. It's something to notice, and you get to choose which one you're looking at:  the window, or your own mirror.  ___ Beyond the Type episode on Enneagram Passions:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149131772 ___comparison, social comparison theory, why do I compare myself, comparing yourself to others, envy, Enneagram Type 4, Enneagram passions, self-trust, abundance mindset, scarcity mindset, social media comparison, parasocial relationships, influencers and self-esteem, Leon Festinger, somatic exercise, nervous system, self-worth, personal development podcast, life coach podcast, holistic coaching, Enneagram, emotional awareness, self-awareness, Sandy Swanson, Beyond the Type

Following Dolly Parton's passing, Sandy found herself stuck on a question with no clean answer:  What was Dolly's Enneagram type? In this episode, Sandy dives down the Enneagram-nerd-rabbit-hole and makes the case for three possibilities:  Nine, Two, and Three, and ends up landing somewhere a little more useful than just a guess. Sandy brings subtype into the conversation, explaining how this can really affect how a type presents itself, and offers the names assigned to a few of the 27 subtypes (one of them is particularly fitting!). Along the way, she uses a spontaneous performance in an Irish pub to show how the same behavior can come from completely different motivations, depending on the person and the subtype underneath. Sandy explores: Why behavior alone doesn’t tell us someone’s Enneagram type  How instinctual subtype can dramatically change how a type presents What Dolly’s ambition, generosity, positivity, and public persona might suggest about Types 9, 2, and 3 Why the same behavior can come from completely different motivations How coaches can use curiosity, rather than certainty, to help clients uncover what is really driving their patterns And yes, there’s a little “cup of ambition” along the way. Whether you’re an Enneagram nerd, a coach, or simply someone trying to understand the people in your life a little better, there are useful questions underneath all of this: What if you’re wrong about what you think you know about someone? And what becomes possible when you stay curious long enough to find out...?___Lines and Arrows episode (Swimming Upstream: Using the Enneagram Lines and Arrows for Personal Growth): https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149079311 Subtypes episode (Why Do I Feel Lonely When I Have Friends?):https://www.swansoncoaching.com/podcasts/beyond-the-type-an-enneagram-inspired-podcast-about-being-human/episodes/2149207913 Are you a coach looking for support? Check out my group mentor coaching program, Patterns, Presence, and the Enneagram. NBHWC and ICF approved for CEs and CCEs. The October cohort is open now. Learn more here and use the code FOUNDING to receive a discount: https://www.swansoncoaching.com/coaches-enneagram Book a Typing Interview: Curious to learn more about the Enneagram and which types you lead with?  Schedule a typing interview with Sandy here:https://www.swansoncoaching.com/typinginterview___Enneagram Institute (Don Riso and Russ Hudson):https://www.enneagraminstitute.com Book: The Complete Enneagram (Beatrice Chestnut):https://amzn.to/4xybcYr Music:  Trio II album (Dolly Parton, Emmylou Harris, Linda Rondstadt):https://amzn.to/4h32j32 Video:  Dolly at the Irish Pub:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py1SJ39dwS4Coffee:  Cup of Ambition:https://www.cupofambition.com/___ Dolly Parton, Enneagram, Enneagram types, Enneagram Type 9, Enneagram Type 2, Enneagram Type 3, Enneagram subtypes, instinctual variants, self-preservation instinct, social instinct, sexual instinct, Claudio Naranjo, Oscar Ichazo, Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram, behavior vs motivation, personality patterns, personal development, coaching skills, mentor coaching, Enneagram typing interview, Enneagram test mistakes, mistyping, cup of ambition, self-trust, curiosity, Beyond the Type, Sandy Swanson, SwansonCoaching, ICF certified coach, NBC-HWC health and wellness coach, life coach podcast