REMIX: The Unconscious Hours

In this week’s remix, the hags return to the Social Cloak and the private negotiations of merely existing. A pleasant encounter need not become a lunch. Jacqueline wants every invitation, while Kate’s overobedience causes an injury. The terror of being observed without access to your personality. Shared plates, borrowed bites, and the right to your own lentils. A French waiter intervenes and the shame lasts a lifetime. An earnest ciao slips out. You know your own shoe.

A hungry woman roams the West Village. Jacqueline has had two magical nights in the garden and wonders what a third might cost. Kate gets the protein in and stacks appointments. An heirloom tomato for a special girl. The rules are the rules, but surely there’s a way. Secret knowledge withheld from the common American, now available in an eight-minute musical. A hot smoothie divides the room. The poetry of The Crown and sharp cheddar on the chili. Call your friend’s mother. She’s up for grabs.

In this week’s remix the hags are examining the Social Cloak and what it means to be a person among people. Kate receives a compliment that must be examined immediately, while Jacqueline considers the pressure to adore the child of the event. A handwritten note vanishes and seeking credit only puts you further into debt. The squeeze must end. Sweeping cancellations and the terror of getting dinner on the books. A coffee shop offers the ecstasy of community. Hold the facial expression for four paces, then let it go. Maybe life is the trip to the bathroom.

This week the hags are away and bringing you a favorite from the archive: Halloween Peabody.The podcast is 4 episodes into independence. Straight hair and a red-light morning sends Kate soaring. A Halloween costume takes shape in Jacqueline's mind. Floating heads, a ghost cluster, and tears that break through the paywall. Balance is an ideal, not to be achieved in real life; a bag of popcorn and one tiny strawberry may suffice. Jacqueline demonstrates nerve flossing’s gentler cousin, nerve slackening. Kate recalls her very first beg. The New Yorker Fest is inevitable.

Sometimes it’s important not to get your eight. Kate arrives after a night of caviar and champagne while Jacqueline considers the terror of washing the brain. Eye crust, ants at the headboard, and the risks of Googling before consulting The Tribunal. Lamb-free oats and the inbox pummeling continues. The fly swatter slices through the air, and nary a wind is felt. Kate reports from first class, where basic human dignity is a nod. Jacqueline examines the feminine and the injury. Trying not to reaggravate a shoulder thing that doesn’t exist. Smiling below the mask. Give me a carrot.

Dreaming is the work. This week, the hags continue to consult the great texts and channel the true thinkers. Confronting the arrogant belief that you have knowledge of your own subconscious. Bookmarks and highlights. Kate needs a Jungian therapist and Jacqueline is willing to suspend her disbelief. Where’s my Objection Book? Googling ‘self-reliance’ and hunger for the quotes. And we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another! You make a decision and then you make it the right one.

Someone’s in a workshop right now to get over knowing you. This week, the hags consult the great texts and channel the true thinkers. Kate joins Jacqueline’s Caroline Myss reading club. Souvenir Tiger. Jacqueline receives a Pema Chödrön reading from Kate. The white knuckle grip and cheating ourselves out of the present moment. Blood blooms and a silent podcast. Eat Pray Love is an important text, but have the conversation. The ego loves to seek, but never to find! 

Honk if you don’t exist! In this week’s remix, the hags wade into the world of bodyworkers, energy healers, reiki masters and blocked chakras. Jacqueline experiences KY Jelly hands, while Kate writhes dramatically in the backroom. The high cost of a flea market psychic and looking for god in all the wrong places. Learning the shamanic techniques. Can I enter your energy field? Cutting the chord, slime, and putting water on the plate. No tool is inherently good or bad — but Zoom healing is the highest form. 

A misread covid test, a night of wild dancing and a trip to the foot doctor. In this week’s remix, the hags are waiting, writhing and ready to see the doctor. The endless pursuit of appointments and referrals, the power of self-diagnosis and medical anxiety. Kate’s nine months of pain and six months to live. See, it hurts! Jacqueline’s theory about injuring the body to heal it. A mother with neck tension, a mental metaphor of the body and a house you can’t see. The relief of snipping the muscle string — it better be deep tissue. A sucker for a certificate on the wall and a fear of recovery. Do you know what the appendix is?

Do you believe in jinx? Anger on the walk, a toilet in the shot, and the insanity of The Birthday. Jacqueline is constantly outrunning the future, while Kate is put at ease by planning it. Witnessing the spider make a big catch — did you know they can leave the web? Screaming at the man in the Zoom background and screaming the c-word out of the cab. Jacqueline wants to try living on New York time in LA, while Kate locates a believable impression of the Birthday girl. The supremacy of secondary media and why horror matters. Three days back on the stimulant: boxing and aerial silks are on the table. Unpacking the era of the post-facelift personal essay and reading a prayer aloud. Neighborhood eccentrics and social media recovery. Dinner tonight.