Unconditional Love, Clinging, and the Science of Letting Go With Dr. Joe Ciarrochi

Do you feel stuck in worry loops that drain your energy and pull you out of the present moment? In this episode of The Wise Effort Show, Dr. Diana Hill talks with neuroscientist and psychiatrist Dr. Judson Brewer about “inside information” on the brain—especially the default mode network and how self-focused rumination and worry activate the posterior cingulate cortex. They explore new, encouraging research showing that experienced meditators don’t show the same activation during worry recall, and that even beginners can deactivate this brain region quickly using a simple mindfulness “noting” practice (labeling seeing, hearing, feeling, thinking). Diana and Jud also discuss using technology to interrupt addictive habit loops (like compulsive checking) and how moving beyond anxiety can open the door to integrity, kindness, and flourishing—grounded in the reminder that “your actions are your only belongings.”Listen and learn:Your brain has a “me network” that can drain your energy.Noticing changes your relationship to experience.The goal is not just less anxiety, but more integrity, energy, and flourishing.“My actions are my only belongings.”Suggested Next Episode:Busting Brain Myths With Dr. Judson BrewerRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community memberSign up for my newsletterOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsSee Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Join The Wise Effort Community.The Wise Effort Community exists to help people keep doing the work — applying ACT and contemplative practice to a real life — long after the book is closed, the workshop is done, and the retreat is over. The thing they're buying is sustained, guided practice with me and with each other, so the insights don't evaporate. The Wise Effort Community is your guided home for ongoing Wise Effort practice — monthly live teaching with me, a weekly practice rhythm, an on-demand library, and a community of people doing the work alongside you. Also, sustaining members get “Member’s Special" early access and special pricing to Diana’s In-Person Events, including Diana’s gatherings, courses, programs, and retreats.Wise Effort Community

Are you caught in the exhausting loop of thinking life should feel better than it does right now? In this episode, Dr. Diana Hill explores the First Noble Truth—dukkha, the ordinary “itchiness” of life—and the four great lies that keep us stuck: that things should be different, that you need to fix things to feel better, that you’ll be happy when, and that there’s no way to be happy. Diana shares a modern take on the Four Noble Truths, describing a horizontal plane of ease and dis-ease and a vertical plane of resisting versus freedom, reminding us that resisting makes suffering worse and that freedom is available here and now. Listen and learn:How dukkha shows up in everyday life (like the “itchy sweater”)The four great lies that drive grasping, avoidance, and dissatisfactionWhy resisting what is keeps you “below the line” in sufferingThe practice of telling the truth with “And this too”Listen in, and if it resonates, share this episode with someone who’s stuck in the “it should be different” story.Suggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related Bonus Meditation: DissatisfactionRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community memberSign up for my newsletterOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsSee Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Join The Wise Effort Community.The Wise Effort Community exists to help people keep doing the work — applying ACT and contemplative practice to a real life — long after the book is closed, the workshop is done, and the retreat is over. The thing they're buying is sustained, guided practice with me and with each other, so the insights don't evaporate. The Wise Effort Community is your guided home for ongoing Wise Effort practice — monthly live teaching with me, a weekly practice rhythm, an on-demand library, and a community of people doing the work alongside you. Also, sustaining members get “Member’s Special" early access and special pricing to Diana’s In-Person Events, including Diana’s gatherings, courses, programs, and retreats.Wise Effort Community

Diana guides a meditation on suffering and dissatisfaction, framing it as a normal part of being human and offering relief in recognizing that nothing is “wrong” with you for feeling discontent. It invites stepping into a “vertical” space that holds all experience without needing it to change. Suggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related talk--Episode 201 Dissatisfied: The First Noble Truth and Four Great Lies that FollowRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community memberSign up for my newsletterOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsSee Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Have you ever felt panicked and untethered when you’re lost—at work, in a relationship, or even in your own mind? In this episode, Dr. Diana Hill explores how “lostness” can send us into panic, false refuges, and strange loops that make things worse, and how it can also open a doorway to transformation. Drawing from her own story about thinking she’d left her computer at a New York hotel, Diana shares practices to help you stay where you are, take in a bigger perspective, and ask more beautiful questions in meditation and life.Listen and learn:How strange loops keep us tangled in unhelpful patternsThe inner dimensions we can get lost in: self, attention, thoughts, purpose, feelings, and behaviorWhat to do when you’re lost: pause, broaden your view, and ask beautiful questions ("What is here?", "What else?", "What do I really want?")If this episode helps you find steadier ground, share it with someone who feels scattered or stuck.Suggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related Bonus Meditation: LostRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community memberSign up for my newsletterOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsSee Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Join The Wise Effort Community.The Wise Effort Community exists to help people keep doing the work — applying ACT and contemplative practice to a real life — long after the book is closed, the workshop is done, and the retreat is over. The thing they're buying is sustained, guided practice with me and with each other, so the insights don't evaporate. The Wise Effort Community is your guided home for ongoing Wise Effort practice — monthly live teaching with me, a weekly practice rhythm, an on-demand library, and a community of people doing the work alongside you. Also, sustaining members get “Member’s Special" early access and special pricing to Diana’s In-Person Events, including Diana’s gatherings, courses, programs, and retreats.Wise Effort Community

Diana guides a meditation practice focused on increasing capacity to be with silence and open awareness. The practice emphasizes noticing the mind’s urge to comment or problem-solve, then letting go, leaning back, and relaxing into the silence and space around noise—like a “permanent layover” with nowhere to go and nothing to do—while adding warmth and kindness.Suggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related talk--Episode 200 LostRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community memberSign up for my newsletterOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsSee Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Do you feel stuck in a tug-of-war—like you have to choose between two things that both matter? In this Secret Sangha episode, Diana Hill shares on the topic of paradox, and how the tension you’re trying to “solve” may actually be the place where growth happens. Drawing on examples from relationships, parenting, work-life balance, and her own struggle between service and making a living as a therapist, Diana explores Marianne Lewis’s “both/and” approach—shifting the question, seeing interdependence, and rethinking outcomes so you can walk the tightrope with more ease.Listen and learn:The three core features of paradoxWhy trying to eliminate a paradox often keeps you stuck in struggleHow to shift from “either/or” to “both/and” thinkingShare this episode with someone who feels forced to choose—and practice holding both sides with wise effort.Suggested Next Episode:The Power Of Both/And Thinking To Find Creative, Integrative Solutions To Paradoxes With Dr. Marianne LewisRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community memberSign up for my newsletterOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsSee Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Join The Wise Effort Community.The Wise Effort Community exists to help people keep doing the work — applying ACT and contemplative practice to a real life — long after the book is closed, the workshop is done, and the retreat is over. The thing they're buying is sustained, guided practice with me and with each other, so the insights don't evaporate. The Wise Effort Community is your guided home for ongoing Wise Effort practice — monthly live teaching with me, a weekly practice rhythm, an on-demand library, and a community of people doing the work alongside you. Also, sustaining members get “Member’s Special" early access and special pricing to Diana’s In-Person Events, including Diana’s gatherings, courses, programs, and retreats.Wise Effort Community

Dr. Diana Hill welcomes author and Idea Architects founder Doug Abrams live from Blue Spirit Costa Rica to explore how to stay grounded, joyful, and hopeful in uncertain times. Abrams shares lessons from working with leaders like the Dalai Lama, Desmond Tutu, and Jane Goodall, including Tutu’s guidance to “never surrender your joy,” taking the wider perspective, and resisting without “othering” opponents. He describes his in-progress book inspired by his daughter’s question, “Are we gonna be okay?” Abrams discusses living with ADHD, shame, and vulnerability in relationships, and highlights Goodall’s four reasons for hope—human intellect, nature’s resilience, young people, and the indomitable human spirit—emphasizing that hope is an action.Related ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community memberSign up for my newsletterOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsSee Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Join The Wise Effort Community.The Wise Effort Community exists to help people keep doing the work — applying ACT and contemplative practice to a real life — long after the book is closed, the workshop is done, and the retreat is over. The thing they're buying is sustained, guided practice with me and with each other, so the insights don't evaporate. The Wise Effort Community is your guided home for ongoing Wise Effort practice — monthly live teaching with me, a weekly practice rhythm, an on-demand library, and a community of people doing the work alongside you. Also, sustaining members get “Member’s Special" early access and special pricing to Diana’s In-Person Events, including Diana’s gatherings, courses, programs, and retreats.Wise Effort Community

Do little annoyances keep piling up until you feel overwhelmed and reactive? In this episode, Diana Hill explores why annoyance isn’t just about what’s happening—it’s shaped by your capacity (stress, heat, hunger, sleep) and the story you tell about the incident. Diana shares how noticing her own story with an airline agent, Wade, helped her soften, connect, and respond differently—ultimately increasing her ability to be with what is.Listen and learn:How stressors like heat, hunger, and poor sleep reduce your capacity and increase irritationWhy the “story” you tell can turn a small incident into a bigger threat.How separating from others fuels annoyance—and connection can shift itSuggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related Bonus Meditation: AnnoyanceRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community memberSign up for my newsletterOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsSee Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Join The Wise Effort Community.The Wise Effort Community exists to help people keep doing the work — applying ACT and contemplative practice to a real life — long after the book is closed, the workshop is done, and the retreat is over. The thing they're buying is sustained, guided practice with me and with each other, so the insights don't evaporate. The Wise Effort Community is your guided home for ongoing Wise Effort practice — monthly live teaching with me, a weekly practice rhythm, an on-demand library, and a community of people doing the work alongside you. Also, sustaining members get “Member’s Special" early access and special pricing to Diana’s In-Person Events, including Diana’s gatherings, courses, programs, and retreats.Wise Effort Community

Diana guides a meditation practice focused on increasing capacity to be with silence and open awareness. The practice emphasizes noticing the mind’s urge to comment or problem-solve, then letting go, leaning back, and relaxing into the silence and space around noise—like a “permanent layover” with nowhere to go and nothing to do—while adding warmth and kindness. Suggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related talk--Episode 197 Secret Sangha: Annoyance.Related ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community memberSign up for my newsletterOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsSee Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.

Enjoy this Secret Sangha talk where Dr. Diana Hill describes recovery as a non-linear, stop-and-start process. She emphasizes psychological flexibility as a key predictor of doing well after major life events: knowing what matters most in the moment, using your skills, and taking feedback about what isn’t working. She highlights additional supports like social connection, positive emotion amid difficulty, and meaning-making. Diana shares her own recovery story and offers core practices.Listen and learn:To decide what and who recovery is worth it forWays to leave your “imaginary box”The importance of focusing on small daily actions without waiting to feel differentSuggested Next Episode:You can also enjoy Diana's related Bonus Meditation: RecoveryRelated ResourcesGet enhanced show notes for this episodeBecome a Wise Effort Community memberSign up for my newsletterOrder my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.Diana's EventsSee Diana at an upcoming eventConnecting With DianaSubscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.Thanks to the team, Craig and Ashley Hiatt, and Benjamin Gould of Bell & Branch for your beautiful music.Mentioned in this episode:Join The Wise Effort Community.The Wise Effort Community exists to help people keep doing the work — applying ACT and contemplative practice to a real life — long after the book is closed, the workshop is done, and the retreat is over. The thing they're buying is sustained, guided practice with me and with each other, so the insights don't evaporate. The Wise Effort Community is your guided home for ongoing Wise Effort practice — monthly live teaching with me, a weekly practice rhythm, an on-demand library, and a community of people doing the work alongside you. Also, sustaining members get “Member’s Special" early access and special pricing to Diana’s In-Person Events, including Diana’s gatherings, courses, programs, and retreats.Wise Effort Community