Unhooked: Breaking Porn Addiction Podcast

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/This week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes because its message is just as relevant today as when I first recorded it.Have you ever tried to quit porn, made progress for a few days or weeks, and then found yourself right back where you started?Maybe you've promised yourself you'll never watch it again. Maybe you've tried relying on willpower, avoiding anything that triggers you, or being harder on yourself every time you slip up.But what if some of those approaches are actually making recovery more difficult?In this rebroadcast of Unhooked, I'm revisiting eight of the most common mistakes I see people make when trying to break free from porn addiction.The idea for this episode actually came to me at a climbing gym in Amsterdam. I was helping a friend who was new to climbing, pointing out a few beginner mistakes that were making the climb unnecessarily difficult.It got me thinking about recovery.Just like climbing, breaking free from porn isn't only about trying harder. Sometimes, the biggest difference comes from recognizing what isn't working and learning a better way forward.In this episode, we explore:Why treating sexual desire as something shameful can reinforce the very cycle you're trying to escapeHow to experience cravings and uncomfortable emotions without suppressing them or automatically acting on themWhy building supportive environments, meaningful relationships, and healthier routines is more sustainable than relying on willpower aloneHow to recognize the deeper emotional needs that porn may be helping you avoid, so you don't simply replace one compulsive habit with anotherWhy setbacks don't have to erase your progress, and how vulnerability, support, and accountability can help you get back on trackOne of the most important lessons I've learned is that recovery isn't about becoming someone who never struggles.It's about learning to respond differently when challenges arise, becoming more honest with yourself, and building a life you no longer feel the need to escape from.If you've been trying to quit porn but keep finding yourself stuck in the same patterns, this episode will help you recognize what might be getting in your way.Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/Timestamps00:00 Why Relapse Doesn't Mean Failure00:55 Introducing the Rebroadcast and Free Slip Reset02:37 The Rock Climbing Lesson Behind These 8 Mistakes04:54 Mistake 1: Thinking Watching Porn Makes You a Bad Person07:12 Mistake 2: Repressing Your Emotions and Urges08:13 Mistake 3: Relying on Willpower Alone09:03 Mistake 4: Looking for a Quick Fix10:21 Mistake 5: Underestimating the Harm Porn Is Causing12:11 Mistake 6: Ignoring the Root Cause of Addiction14:08 Mistake 7: Beating Yourself Up After Relapse15:28 Mistake 8: Trying to Recover Without Support17:51 Getting Help and Building Accountability18:31 Final Thoughts on Breaking Free From Porn18:57 Closing Message

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.coLearn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.comWhat happens when you finally quit porn, but the shame, secrecy, and distance in your relationship are still there?For many men, quitting porn feels like the finish line. Stop watching, stay consistent, and everything else should eventually fall into place.But I've seen how much more complicated recovery can be.Porn often becomes a way to escape uncomfortable feelings. Stress, loneliness, insecurity, or simply not wanting to deal with what's happening in our lives. And when that habit starts affecting a relationship, the consequences don't necessarily disappear just because the behavior stops.In this special reshare from Relationship Renovation, I join couples therapists Tarah and EJ Kerwin to explore what genuine recovery looks like, especially when trust and intimacy have been affected.We talk about why porn use can become compulsive, what keeps people trapped in cycles of shame, and how to begin making changes that go deeper than maintaining a streak.In this episode, we explore:How to recognize when porn use has moved beyond occasional pleasure and become a way of avoiding difficult emotionsWhy constant novelty and unrealistic sexual expectations can create challenges with attraction and intimacy in real relationshipsHow to use the RAIN mindfulness practice to recognize cravings, allow uncomfortable feelings, investigate what's underneath them, and respond with greater self-compassionWhy couples need honest conversations about boundaries and broken agreements rather than assuming they share the same expectations around pornographyHow accountability and emotional awareness help rebuild self-respect while creating space for healthier relationshipsOne of the most important things I've learned is that recovery isn't just about what you stop doing. It's about how you learn to show up for yourself and the people you care about.If you've been working hard to quit porn but still feel stuck in the same emotional patterns, I hope this conversation helps you see what the next part of recovery can look like.Timestamps00:00 Opening: Understanding Porn Addiction01:20 Jeremy Introduces the Relationship Renovation Reshare03:23 Unhooked Podcast Introduction04:03 Relationship Renovation Introduces the Conversation05:59 Jeremy's Personal Experience With Porn Addiction06:57 Recognizing the Impact of Porn07:56 How Porn Affects Attraction and Intimacy11:14 When Does Porn Use Become an Addiction?13:23 The Wake-Up Call That Changed Jeremy's Life16:03 Discovering Mindfulness and Buddhist Philosophy18:41 Why Porn Is Often an Emotional Coping Mechanism21:24 The Accessibility of Porn and Its Effects on Relationships25:00 Shame, Secrecy, and the Addiction Cycle29:10 How Meditation Helps You Regain Control31:53 Why Sobriety Isn't the Same as Recovery33:03 Understanding Your Default Future38:11 Introducing the RAIN Mindfulness Practice39:13 Using RAIN to Work With Cravings41:20 Getting on the Same Page With Your Partner42:58 Why Recovery Must Be Your Own Choice43:23 The Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn45:49 Advice for Men and Their Partners46:23 Finding Support Without Shame47:38 Why Your Partner's Porn Use Isn't Necessarily About You50:47 Why Opening Up Gets Easier With Practice51:24 Where to Find Jeremy and Unhooked Academy52:48 Jeremy's Closing MessageExplore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.coLearn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/What if the freedom you're looking for isn't just about quitting porn, but reaching a point where you no longer feel the need to turn to it?For years, I was chasing happiness in all the places I thought I was supposed to find it. Success, relationships, sex, pleasure. On the outside, things seemed to be going well. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction and a growing sense that something was missing.I remember reaching a point in college when I started questioning everything. If I was getting the things I wanted, why wasn't I happy? And if I kept living this way, would I ever be?That question eventually led me to meditation, Buddhist philosophy, and a completely different understanding of what it means to live a fulfilling life.In this special reshare from Thriving with Addiction, I join host Dr. John Avery to talk about that journey, the role shame played in keeping my struggles hidden, and what I've learned about genuine freedom in recovery.In this episode, we explore:How early experiences of sexual shame can teach us to hide behaviors rather than understand them, creating patterns that follow us into adulthoodWhy addressing the underlying craving for relief matters more than focusing exclusively on porn or any single addictive behaviorWhat years of silent meditation retreats taught me about experiencing uncomfortable emotions without immediately escaping themWhy finding a nonjudgmental community can be more effective than relying on motivation alone, especially when the initial excitement of quitting wears offWhat Buddhists call the bliss of blamelessness, and why living without secrecy can bring a deeper sense of peace than simply maintaining a streakOne of the most encouraging things I've experienced is that recovery doesn't have to feel like an endless fight. With time and practice, the urges that once seemed impossible to resist can become less frequent and easier to navigate.If you're somewhere on that journey, I hope this conversation reminds you that there's more to recovery than just stopping a behavior. There's an entire life waiting to be lived.Timestamps00:00 Opening: How Shame and Addiction Begin01:15 Introducing the Conversation With Dr. John Avery02:20 The Unhooked App03:14 Unhooked Podcast Introduction03:53 Dr. John Avery Introduces Jeremy04:35 Jeremy's Life in Thailand05:21 How My Porn Addiction Started07:06 Why Porn Became an Emotional Escape09:00 Sexual Shame and Mixed Messages10:11 Understanding the Root of Addiction11:33 The Moment I Questioned My Happiness13:17 How Buddhist Philosophy Changed My Perspective15:23 Silent Retreats and Becoming a Buddhist Monk17:33 Learning to Work With Cravings19:47 Breaking the Silence Around Porn Addiction21:54 The First Time I Publicly Shared My Story24:30 Talking About Pornography and Children26:16 Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation27:53 Rebuilding Relationships and Intimacy29:15 Why Community Matters in Recovery31:39 The Unexpected Benefits of Quitting Porn34:15 Inside Unhooked Academy35:05 Why Shame Keeps Addiction Alive36:24 Closing ThoughtsExplore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.coLearn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.comThis conversation originally aired on Thriving with Addiction.

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/This week, I'm bringing back one of my favorite episodes because its message is just as relevant today as when I first recorded it.You've decided to quit porn. You're feeling motivated, you've set your goals, and you're ready to change. But then an urge hits, and suddenly all that determination feels a lot harder to hold on to.What do you actually do in that moment?In this rebroadcast of Unhooked, I break down eight practical strategies for dealing with cravings, including how to make urges less likely to arise and what to do when they show up anyway.One of the biggest mistakes people make in recovery is relying entirely on willpower. But lasting change isn't about fighting every urge that comes your way. It's about creating an environment that supports your goals while developing the ability to experience cravings without automatically acting on them.In this episode, you'll learn:How to identify your personal triggers and change the routines that keep pulling you back toward pornWhy simple changes to your environment, including where you keep your phone, can make recovery easierHow mindfulness creates space between experiencing an urge and choosing what to do nextWhat urge surfing is and how to practice it without fighting or suppressing your cravingsWhen to use physical movement, cold showers, or support from another person to get through a difficult momentThe goal isn't to spend the rest of your life avoiding temptation. It's to build the freedom to choose how you respond, even when an urge is strong.Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.coLearn more about Unhooked Academy: https://unhookedacademy.com

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/What happens when something you turn to for pleasure slowly starts shaping the way you see yourself, your relationships, and the world around you?In this reshare from Wake Up with Marci, I sit down with Marci Hopkins to share a part of my own story that changed the direction of my life.On the outside, things were going well. I had good grades, friends, and plenty of opportunities ahead of me. But privately, I was struggling with porn addiction, constantly chasing pleasure, and becoming increasingly dissatisfied with what I already had.Then one day, walking down the street in my early twenties, I had a realization that scared me. I could suddenly see the kind of man I was becoming, and I knew I didn't want that future.That moment led me to question everything I thought I knew about happiness, fulfillment, and what it actually means to be free.In this episode, we explore:Why porn can be especially difficult to quit, including the three factors that make it so accessible and habit-formingHow to recognize the difference between toxic shame that keeps you hiding and healthy remorse that helps you changeWhat I learned about happiness and neuroplasticity through Buddhist philosophy, and how it changed my approach to recoveryWhy trying to empty your mind during meditation can actually reinforce self-judgment, and what to practice insteadWhat partners often misunderstand about porn addiction, and why understanding the behavior doesn't mean excusing the harm it causesIf you've ever wondered why changing a behavior can feel so difficult, or why getting what you want doesn't always make you happy, I think you'll find something valuable in this conversation.Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.co🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/Timestamps:00:00 Jeremy's Story: When Porn Addiction Became a Problem03:32 Welcome to Wake Up with Marci05:36 How Jeremy's Porn Addiction Started08:00 When Porn Began Taking Over His Mind10:00 The Moment Jeremy Saw Where His Addiction Was Taking Him12:16 Porn, Alcohol, and Other Forms of Escape16:52 How Porn Changed the Way Jeremy Viewed Women20:06 When Does Porn Become a Problem?22:29 The Three A's of Porn Addiction24:32 Why Porn Can Be So Difficult to Quit25:45 Understanding the Shame Cycle29:22 Healthy Shame vs. Toxic Shame31:27 Moral Shame and Moral Dread33:19 Trauma, Insecurity, and Filling the Void35:58 Searching for a Different Kind of Happiness38:25 How Buddhism and Neuroplasticity Changed Jeremy's Life41:22 Mindfulness, Meditation, and Recovery43:51 Meditation as a Gym for the Mind46:18 Why Meditation Isn't About Clearing Your Mind47:13 Recovery Is More Than Sobriety49:10 How to Practice Mindfulness in Everyday Life52:16 How to Start Meditating53:03 Building a Practice of Gratitude55:34 What Partners of Porn Addicts Need to Know57:35 Porn Addiction as a Coping Mechanism58:31 Where to Find Jeremy59:06 You're Not Alone01:01:29 Jeremy's Closing Message

Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.coIn this episode of Unhooked, I sit down with Ben Brown, host of The Shift podcast, to talk about his journey from years of compulsive sex, porn, validation-seeking, alcohol, and drugs into a life of recovery, purpose, and transformation.Ben shares what his life looked like before recovery, including the constant pursuit of women, escalating porn use, partying, and the feeling that he was becoming someone he thought he needed to be.We talk about the moments that finally made him realize something wasn't right, including a chance encounter with a stranger who told him how sex addiction had destroyed his life, and the experience that finally pushed Ben to walk into a recovery room.We also get into what actually helped him change: community, mentors, faith, willpower, small daily habits, and finding something meaningful to put his energy into.And Ben shares one of the biggest lessons from his recovery: you are not exempt. No matter how much shame you carry or how far gone you think you are, you can still change your life.In this episode, you'll learn:- Why addiction can become a way of escaping discomfort and seeking validation- What finally pushed Ben to seek recovery after years of compulsive behavior- Why willpower can help in the early stages but isn't enough for long-term recovery- How small daily wins can build momentum and create lasting change- Why finding a “mountain to climb” can help redirect sexual and creative energy into something meaningfulRecovery doesn't happen all at once. Sometimes it starts with one small decision, one mentor, one meeting, or simply taking the first step.🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.coConnect with BenBen Brown / The Shift Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-shift-a-podcast-with-ben-brown/id1887649490Instagram: @benbrown3000 https://www.instagram.com/benbrown3000/YouTube: The Shift Podcast with Ben Brown https://www.youtube.com/@theshiftpodcastwithbenbrownWebsite: The Shift with Ben Brown https://www.theshiftwithbenbrown.com/

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.coWhat if stopping porn isn't actually the thing that creates lasting recovery?In this episode of Unhooked, I’m resharing a conversation I had on Sam’s Healing Podcast about porn addiction, recovery, and what it really takes to build lasting freedom.We talk about why porn itself is often not the underlying problem, but instead a way of escaping uncomfortable emotions, stress, loneliness, boredom, insecurity, or other difficult experiences. I also explain why simply chasing a streak or practicing sobriety without doing the deeper inner work can leave the underlying issues untouched.In this episode, you'll learn:- Why sobriety alone isn't the same as recovery and why the underlying reasons behind the behavior matter- How porn can become a coping mechanism for stress, loneliness, boredom, insecurity, and other uncomfortable emotions- Why I describe meditation as strength training for the mind and how it can help build greater awareness and self-control- How the Reset → Rewire → Rebuild → Restore framework supports lasting transformation- Why learning to sit with discomfort instead of escaping it is an essential part of creating real freedomIf you're early in recovery and looking for a clear, grounded overview of what this work actually involves, this is a good place to start.Ready to start your recovery?Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.coTimestamps:00:00 Why Sobriety Isn’t Recovery02:59 Welcome to Unhooked03:37 Introducing Jeremy and Unhooked04:47 Why I Created Unhooked06:02 Why Do We Get Hooked on Porn?09:05 Why Sobriety Alone Isn’t Enough11:09 Cross-Addictions and Replacing Unhealthy Habits12:29 Meditation as Strength Training for the Mind15:23 Different Types of Meditation17:01 How to Let Go of the Performance Mindset18:22 Why a Structured Meditation Practice Matters20:04 The Four Phases of Recovery21:28 Reset: Getting Clear on Where You’re Going23:32 Rewire: Using Neuroplasticity for Change25:04 Rebuild: Changing Your Environment and Habits26:59 Restore: Building a Life of Fulfillment28:42 Solitude vs. Isolation30:14 Why We Run From Unpleasant Experiences31:56 Learning to Sit With Discomfort32:56 Why You Have to Take Ownership of Your Recovery34:21 Can You Really Break Free?36:27 Where to Learn More About Unhooked37:21 Sam’s Closing Thoughts37:56 Final Thoughts

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.coWhat does it actually take to heal after infidelity, and why does defensiveness make rebuilding trust so difficult?In this episode of Unhooked, I sit down with Sam from Sam's Healing Podcast to talk about infidelity, addiction, and what real recovery looks like after betrayal.Sam shares his own journey after an affair that turned his life upside down. We talk about why radical honesty is the first step toward healing, how defensiveness gets in the way of rebuilding trust, and why taking ownership of your actions matters so much.We also explore how childhood wounds can shape destructive coping patterns, the role of community and mentorship in recovery, and why healing looks different for every person and relationship.In this episode, you'll learn:- Why radical honesty is the first step in recovery- How defensiveness and blame-shifting get in the way of healing- The difference between guilt and shame- Why self-acceptance and accountability go hand in hand- What recovery looks like for both the unfaithful and betrayed partner- Why healing takes time and what makes rebuilding trust possibleIf you're navigating addiction, infidelity, or the difficult process of rebuilding trust after betrayal, this conversation is for you.Ready to start your recovery?Explore the Unhooked app: https://unhookedapp.coConnect with Sam:Sam's Healing Podcast on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast and podcast platforms https://www.samshealingpodcast.com/Timestamps:00:00 Sam's story of despair and recovery01:39 Episode introduction03:32 Welcome to Unhooked04:24 Sam's journey into recovery08:44 Why radical honesty is the first step12:53 Becoming a student of recovery and finding support19:48 Understanding childhood wounds and the roots of addiction24:08 The turning point: Feeling worthy of love30:04 Self-acceptance and doing the next right thing35:33 Balancing self-acceptance with personal growth40:27 Why people become defensive in recovery41:56 Shame, guilt, and taking responsibility45:46 What healing looks like for the betrayed partner49:59 How long does healing after infidelity take?52:38 Can couples truly heal after infidelity?55:34 Where to find Sam56:57 Closing thoughts

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/Interested in the Unhooked App? Join the waitlist here: https://unhookedapp.co/Jeremy Lipkowitz reshared his appearance on The Therapy Brothers podcast, where Brendan and Tyler Patrick interview him about how meditation and mindfulness can support recovery. Jeremy explains why mindfulness does not have to conflict with religious faith, and why it is better understood as a practical way to train attention, awareness, and intentional choice. He breaks down the space between stimulus and response and how learning to access that space can help interrupt automatic reactions like craving, anger, fear, and judgment. The conversation also explores neuroplasticity and Jeremy’s “meadow” analogy for how repeated thoughts and behaviors strengthen mental pathways over time. They unpack the meaning of equanimity, why groundedness matters when facing both discomfort and temptation, and how even a simple breath-awareness practice can begin strengthening concentration, self-compassion, emotional regulation, and the ability to respond rather than react.Chapters:00:00 Why mindfulness matters in recovery04:10 Welcome to the episode04:54 Is meditation against religion?06:40 What mindfulness really is09:30 The mindset behind mindfulness-based recovery13:36 How mindfulness helps with urges and reactions14:14 Neuroplasticity: how the brain changes17:01 The meadow analogy explained18:22 What is equanimity?20:29 How to begin meditating23:09 Closing thoughts

🔵 Want to break free? Join Unhooked Academy now: https://www.unhookedacademy.com/Interested in the Unhooked App? Join the waitlist here: https://unhookedapp.co/Jeremy Lipkowitz hosts Brannon and Tyler Patrick on Unhooked to discuss why sobriety and recovery are not the same thing. The brothers are licensed clinicians with about forty years of combined experience treating porn addiction and betrayal trauma, and they host The Therapy Brothers podcast. They explain why a heavy emphasis on sobriety is a prelude to relapse, why focusing on inputs beats chasing a streak, and why recovery worked for a spouse always collapses. Tyler breaks down their trust equation for rebuilding trust after betrayal: shame resiliency on both sides plus rigorous honesty, empathy, and consistent action over time. They also cover what real humility is, the hero's journey framework behind their men's program, healthy disclosure versus probation officer check-ins, and what a betrayed partner is really asking underneath the questions about details.Chapters:00:00:00 The energy that actually sustains recovery 00:01:01 The cave you fear to enter 00:01:50 Episode intro and the Unhooked app waitlist 00:04:35 Welcome Tyler and Brannon Patrick 00:05:42 Taking men from untrustworthy to trustworthy 00:06:55 What twenty years changed about their approach 00:10:32 How each brother found this work 00:14:08 Sobriety versus recovery 00:17:31 The paradox: does that mean relapse is fine? 00:20:28 Guys who do not know their sobriety date 00:22:17 When sobriety becomes a weapon 00:23:38 Trap one: getting humility backwards 00:24:54 Trap two: recovering for your spouse 00:28:31 Resentment, and turning your partner into your god 00:28:57 Why the instinct to perform makes sense 00:30:39 Corrective experiences and the challenges they run 00:35:30 The hero's journey 00:36:25 Tyler's map of energies, from coercion to love 00:39:05 When a man will not step over the threshold 00:42:26 The parable of the snake and the apples 00:44:53 Where rebuilding trust starts: rigorous honesty 00:46:11 When your partner draws a hard line 00:48:39 Disclosure, lines of defense, and check ins that work 00:49:03 The trust equation 00:51:43 What a betrayed partner is really asking 00:52:58 What actually needs to be disclosed 00:56:35 Harnessing sexuality instead of killing it 00:58:30 What they want couples to hear 01:03:03 Where to find Tyler and Brannon 01:03:45 ClosingThe Therapy Brothers, for Unhooked listeners: therapybrothers.org/unhooked Unhooked Academy: unhookedacademy.com Unhooked app waitlist: unhookedapp.co