359. Over-Responsibility: The Spin

In this week’s Listener Q&A, I’m answering two questions that reveal how we give away our emotional power to others' opinions and societal expectations. One listener struggles with body image after years of parental criticism—believing their worth is tied to their size. Another feels frustrated by always initiating sex in their marriage—turning intimacy into resentment.Both questions highlight a key issue: we let other people’s actions dictate how we feel about ourselves. Whether it’s believing your worth is tied to your body size—or thinking your partner needs to initiate intimacy for it to “count”—you’re giving away your power. Tune in to learn how to take it back.Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotlineGet full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/401

Socialization tells us that happiness comes from hitting the right milestones— the prestigious career, the perfect body, the ideal partner. We’re taught that once we check off all the boxes and achieve enough, fulfillment will follow. But is that really true?After 400 episodes of Unfuck Your Brain, I’ve completely transformed my life—but not by following the blueprint society handed me. The real shift happened when I stopped chasing the generic dream everyone else told me I should want and started figuring out what I actually wanted for myself. In today’s episode, I’m sharing the three things I’ve learned that actually helped me build my dream life, plus the concrete steps that can help you start creating yours.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/400Mentioned in this episode:It's Time to Stop Caring What Other People Think- And I'll Show You How.Ever feel like your brain refuses to SHUT UP about what everyone else might be thinking about you? Join me in an encore of the free training: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think When: Tuesday, July 1 from 12:00–1:30 p.m. ET Cost: FREE. (Yes, for real. It’s free.) (A limited-time replay will be available if you can’t attend live.) Click here to sign up: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/stop-caringHow to Stop Caring

Confidence is often talked about in the online empowerment space, but most people misunderstand it. We think of confidence as a feeling—a temporary emotion we either have or don’t have. But here’s the truth: confidence is much more than a feeling. In fact, the feeling of confidence is the last part—and the least important part. In this episode, I’m breaking down why treating confidence as just a feeling keeps us stuck, and what you really need to focus on to create lasting, transformative confidence in your life. Listen in as I explain how to create the foundation of confidence you’ve been missing. Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/399Mentioned in this episode:It's Time to Stop Caring What Other People Think- And I'll Show You How.Ever feel like your brain refuses to SHUT UP about what everyone else might be thinking about you? Join me in an encore of the free training: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think When: Tuesday, July 1 from 12:00–1:30 p.m. ET Cost: FREE. (Yes, for real. It’s free.) (A limited-time replay will be available if you can’t attend live.) Click here to sign up: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/stop-caringHow to Stop Caring

Does it constantly feel like you’re measuring yourself against some impossible standard? Whether it's your career, your relationships, or your body, that feeling of inadequacy can keep you stuck, unable to move forward.In today’s episode, I’m breaking down why insecurity isn’t the real issue—it’s the lack of emotional security within yourself. When we’re constantly comparing ourselves to external expectations, we feel unsafe, unworthy, and disconnected from who we really are. Tune in to learn how to shift your mindset, build emotional safety, and start living in alignment with your own values.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/398Mentioned in this episode:It's Time to Stop Caring What Other People Think- And I'll Show You How.Ever feel like your brain refuses to SHUT UP about what everyone else might be thinking about you? Join me in an encore of the free training: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think When: Tuesday, July 1 from 12:00–1:30 p.m. ET Cost: FREE. (Yes, for real. It’s free.) (A limited-time replay will be available if you can’t attend live.) Click here to sign up: https://the-school-of-new-feminist-thought.captivate.fm/stop-caringHow to Stop Caring

IT'S HERE! My new book "Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head... and How to Get it Out" is officially available as an audiobook and hardcover wherever books and audiobooks are sold!

I’m getting vulnerable and inviting you to do the same -- at the beautiful Four Seasons St. Louis later this June! On this bonus episode, we’re diving into the power of live coaching and how being in the room with others for deep, transformational work can create real breakthroughs. I'm also sharing a rare opportunity to join my live coaching event, The Symposium happening the weekend of June 27th. With firsthand stories from clients who’ve experienced life-changing breakthroughs, here is a sneak peek into what’s possible when you immerse yourself in this work. A few tickets are still available - so grab yours and book your flight before you miss out! It's happening June 27-29, 2025 at the Four Seasons in St. Louis, Missouri. Go to unfuckyourbrain.com/symposium or text your email to +1 (347) 997-1784. Code word is symposium.

Are you exhausted from constantly worrying about what other people think of you? Whether it’s your boss, your family, or even strangers, this fixation zaps your energy and keeps you from being your authentic self. But here's the truth: the more you focus on their opinions, the less you connect with your own.In this episode, I’m diving into why “just letting it go” never works, and why your brain can’t simply switch off these thoughts. I’ll show you how to uncover the deeper beliefs fueling your worries, and teach you how to replace them with thoughts that actually support you.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/397Mentioned in this episode:Free Training Coming Up!Ever feel like your brain refuses to SHUT UP about what everyone else might be thinking about you? Join me in my new, free training: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think When: Friday, June 6 from 12:00–1:30 p.m. ET Cost: FREE. (Yes, for real. It’s free.) (A limited-time replay will be available if you can’t attend live.)How to Stop Caring

Why do some opinions bounce right off us, while others stick like taffy, lingering in our minds and draining our energy? This isn’t random—it’s actually a clue to how our brains process feedback and, more importantly, what we really believe about ourselves. In this episode, I’m diving into why we get fixated on some people’s opinions, even when they shouldn’t matter as much, and why others’ judgments just slide right by. The truth is, it’s not about the other person’s opinion—it’s about the internal fears and doubts we haven’t fully addressed. Listen in to learn why we think this way and how to break this pattern.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/396Mentioned in this episode:Free Training Coming Up!Ever feel like your brain refuses to SHUT UP about what everyone else might be thinking about you? Join me in my new, free training: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think When: Friday, June 6 from 12:00–1:30 p.m. ET Cost: FREE. (Yes, for real. It’s free.) (A limited-time replay will be available if you can’t attend live.)How to Stop Caring

Have you ever had a man ask why you care so much about what others think? And then found yourself at a loss for how to explain why it matters so deeply? There’s a reason women tend to fixate on others’ opinions, and it’s not simply a lack of confidence or insecurity. This week, I’m diving into why this preoccupation with others’ opinions is so powerful for women—and why it’s not silly or superficial to acknowledge its hold over us. You'll hear the first step in breaking free from this pattern (hint: it isn’t to judge ourselves) and how to spot the impossible, contradictory standards women are taught to meet.Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/395Mentioned in this episode:Free Training Coming Up!Ever feel like your brain refuses to SHUT UP about what everyone else might be thinking about you? Join me in my new, free training: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think When: Friday, June 6 from 12:00–1:30 p.m. ET Cost: FREE. (Yes, for real. It’s free.) (A limited-time replay will be available if you can’t attend live.)How to Stop Caring

Ever feel like your brain refuses to SHUT UP about what everyone else might be thinking about you?The bad news is that making everyone happy and controlling what they think about you is literally impossible to accomplish and you will die trying! Sorry, but it’s true. The good news is you can actually stop trying to manage what everyone else thinks about you at every moment … and feel better about yourself than you ever have before.That’s what I’m here to teach you in my brand new workshop: How to Stop Caring What Other People Think.When: Friday, June 6 from 12:00–1:30 p.m. ETCost: FREE. (Yes, for real. It’s free.)(A limited-time replay will be available if you can’t attend live.)Click here to save your spot: unfuckyourbrain.com/caring/utm_source=podcast