The Real Kiz Podcast

Navigating Change: Understanding Abuse and RedemptionExploring the complexities of personal transformation and accountability.Hey there,In this episode of the Real Kiz podcast, we dive deep into the difficult question: Can people really change? Joined by Dori, a licensed social worker, we explore the intricate dynamics of abuse and the complexities surrounding reintegration into communities.The Desire to ChangeDori emphasizes that the first step toward change is the desire to change. She shares insights from her experiences working with both abusers and victims, highlighting that change is often difficult and requires a supportive environment where individuals can feel safe to express themselves."Change takes a lot of time... People need to take accountability" — DoriThe Cycle of AbuseWe also discuss the cycle of abuse, which often includes a pattern of tension building, explosive incidents, and subsequent apologies. Dori notes that while some individuals may want to change, they often struggle to break free from ingrained behaviors shaped by their past experiences.Context MattersDori points out the systemic issues that often contribute to abusive behaviors, including the backgrounds of many abusers who grew up witnessing domestic violence. This context is crucial when evaluating someone’s capacity for change.Abuse in Intimate Relationships vs. Dance CommunitiesA significant part of our conversation centers on the difference between intimate partner violence and abuse within dance communities. While intimate abuse often targets a single individual, abuse in dance can involve multiple victims, complicating the dynamics of trust and safety."Abuse happens when... someone wants to have power over someone else." — DoriThe Nuance of RedemptionThe discussion takes a nuanced turn when addressing the reintegration of individuals with a history of abuse back into communities. Dori expresses her belief that while some individuals can change, not everyone is willing or capable of doing the inner work required to genuinely transform their behavior. The question arises: How do we measure change?Dori advocates for a balanced view: while there must be accountability for actions, we should also recognize the potential for growth and healing. However, she cautions against blindly accepting that someone has changed simply because they have served their time."Just because you served your time doesn't mean you are now rehabilitated." — DoriClosing ThoughtsAs we wrap up, it's clear that the conversation about change, accountability, and abuse is complex and deeply personal. Navigating these waters requires compassion, understanding, and a commitment to fostering safer communities.If you’re curious to learn more, I encourage you to listen to the full episode for a deeper understanding of these critical issues.Until next time! Meanwhile follow Dori @dori.g.therapy

When you step into a dance event or festival, do you find yourself trapped in a cycle of expectations, or are you able to embrace the moment fully? If you're looking to enhance your festival experience, understanding how to take responsibility for your own enjoyment can be transformative. Cristina emphasizes that a festival's success isn’t solely measured by the number of dances or the length of your dances. Instead, she advocates focusing on your mindset and attitude. Her approach involves being open to surprises, embracing imperfections, and recognizing that the journey of learning and socializing enriches the experience far more than just the dance itself.Your festival experience is what you make of it. Focus on attitude, connection, and enjoyment rather than only counting your dances.One of Cristina’s most inspiring habits is proactively asking leads to dance — and training herself to accept “no” without taking it personally. She believes that every “no” is a step toward greater resilience. She suggests that the more you ask, the more your confidence grows, and the fear of rejection diminishes. Even when a dance doesn’t go perfectly, each experience contributes to your growth and enjoyment.Courageously ask for dances, accept rejection with grace, and recognize that every interaction is an opportunity to learn and improve.Cultivating Kindness and Friendliness on the Dance FloorCristina’s approach to dance and social interaction is rooted in kindness. She encourages dancers to smile, show good attitude, and focus on creating a relaxed, friendly environment. When leaders and followers embrace positivity, it relaxes the whole room, making dancing more enjoyable for everyone.Focus on the Collective ExperienceShe stresses that dancing isn’t just about technical perfection but about shared joy. Making small gestures, like giving a genuine smile or encouraging a nervous beginner, can make a significant difference. A good attitude can turn a potentially awkward moment into a memorable, bonding experience.Share Good VibesFind a balance: prioritize your own well-being but also foster a supportive attitude towards others. That means not just seeking out “quality” dances, but appreciating every person you connect with — they may surprise you.Kindness breeds better connections; focus on shared joy rather than perfection.Creating a Long-Term, Rewarding Dance CommunityCristina highlights that spectators and helpers often underestimate the importance of genuine, supportive interactions. By being kind, approaching others proactively, and offering encouragement, you create a ripple effect — fostering a community that’s welcoming and enriching. A single positive interaction can lead to long-term friendships, memorable moments, and even future opportunities to dance and grow.Staying Open and CuriousCristina’s experience underscores an essential truth: the quality of your dance experience is more about your attitude than external circumstances. Whether you’re new or experienced, forgiving yourself, embracing imperfections, and sharing positivity can turn any dance event into a memorable journey.Practical Steps for You:Focus on your feelings and intentions rather than external validation.Practice asking confidently and accepting rejection gracefully.Smile, be kind, and support others on the dance floor.Respect boundaries and prioritize your well-being.Remember: your attitude can inspire others and shape a welcoming community.So, are you ready to own your dance experience? Start today by approaching each event with kindness, curiosity, and confidence.

From Dance Floors to DJ Booths: The Journey of DJ NeikenTune in to discover the inspiring journey of DJ Neiken from an urban hip hop dancer to a sought-after Kizomba DJ. Learn about her challenges, mentors, and the passion that fuels.In the world of music, few stories are as captivating as that of DJ Neiken. How does someone transition from a passionate dancer to a renowned DJ in a niche genre? In this episode, we’ll explore Neiken's journey, the challenges she faced, and the pivotal moments that shaped her career. Whether you're an aspiring DJ or simply a fan of her sets, there’s plenty to glean from her experiences.The Early Days: A Dancer’s PathNeiken’s journey into the world of DJing began with her love for dance, particularly hip-hop. Growing up, she was heavily involved in the urban dance scene, participating in competitions and teaching young children. This background laid the groundwork for her musical journey.Inspired by the hip hop DJs she met, Neiken was intrigued by the art of mixing music. Yet, her path wasn’t straightforward. After trying dancing Kizomba for the first time, her initial experience was less than pleasant, causing her to step back from it for a while.Many aspiring DJs make the mistake of underestimating the importance of their initial experiences. Neiken’s story reminds us that setbacks can lead to greater determination.The Turning Point: A Fateful FestivalNeiken’s breakthrough came during a festival in Italy where Neiken found herself captivated by DJ Stefanio Lima, who was performing at 8 a.m. in an empty room. This moment changed her trajectory. When Stefanio invited her to touch his controller, it ignited a spark in Neiken. This interaction marked the beginning of her quest to become a Kizomba DJ herself.The importance of mentorship in the arts cannot be overstated. Neiken’s experience highlights how a single moment can shape one’s career.Overcoming Challenges in a Niche SceneAs Neiken transitioned into DJing, she faced several challenges, particularly due to the small Kizomba community in Italy. Despite her talent, she encountered skepticism because of her age. Neiken recalls the doubts cast upon her, with some questioning her legitimacy as a DJ. However, she used this as motivation to prove herself.Finding mentors like David Ruella and DJ Ghostface helped guide her through these challenges. Their support was crucial in navigating the male-dominated DJ scene.The Rise to RecognitionWith perseverance and dedication, Neiken’s hard work began to pay off. She started gaining recognition, posting her mixes on SoundCloud, which quickly garnered attention.Key Strategies for Success: Neiken emphasizes the importance of consistent practice and engaging with audiences through social media. Her live streams during the pandemic further amplified her reach.Impact of Community: Building a supportive network was vital. As she connected with other DJs and dancers, her confidence grew, leading to more bookings and opportunities.DJ Neiken’s journey from a hip-hop dancer to a celebrated Kizomba DJ is a testament to the power of passion, mentorship, and resilience. Her story is a reminder that every setback can lead to a triumphant comeback. So, whether you're an aspiring DJ or someone chasing your dreams, let Neiken's experience inspire you to embrace your journey.Want to learn more about DJ Neiken? Follow her on SoundCloud and Instagram @dj_neiken and watch the full conversation on Youtube or Spotify.

Dancing is often seen as a joyful and liberating form of expression. But for neurodivergent individuals, social dance can present unique challenges. This conversation between Annabelle and Sarah, explores their insights as they share their experiences as neurodivergent dancers. This discussion sheds light on the complexities of dancing while navigating neurodivergence and offers valuable perspectives for both dancers and their partners.Understanding Neurodivergence in DanceDancing is a deeply social activity, but for many neurodivergent individuals, it can be a source of anxiety and miscommunication. Annabelle introduces the topic by reflecting on her own experiences and those of her guest, Sarah, a dancer from Dubai. Together, they discuss how neurodivergence can affect one’s experience in the dance scene.The Experience of Being Neurodivergent in DanceSarah shares her journey of navigating dance as a neurodivergent individual, highlighting how her late diagnosis of ADHD brought clarity to her previous struggles in understanding her body’s responses during dance. She explains that neurodivergent dancers may face challenges such as fatigue, discomfort, and difficulty with social cues, which can make social dancing feel overwhelming.Navigating Social DynamicsOne of the main challenges discussed is the social dynamics inherent in dance. Both Annabelle and Sarah emphasize the importance of communication in ensuring that partners understand each other’s needs. When a dancer feels overwhelmed or fatigued, it’s crucial for them to communicate that to their partner to create a more enjoyable experience.Key Insight: Establishing a mutual understanding can significantly enhance the dance experience for neurodivergent individuals. Example: Annabelle shares her practice of asking for specific types of dances based on her energy levels, which helps her enjoy the dance more fully.The Importance of Individuality in DanceDancers often find themselves conforming to specific styles or expectations, but neurodivergent individuals may struggle with this conformity due to their unique processing styles. Sarah talks about her experiences of feeling rejected and sensitive to others’ perceptions, emphasizing that each dancer's experience is valid.Embracing AuthenticityBoth Annabelle and Sarah encourage neurodivergent dancers to embrace their individuality and express themselves freely in their dancing. They discuss how it’s essential to honor one’s unique rhythm and style, allowing for a more genuine connection with the music and dance partners.Actionable Tip: Dancers should feel empowered to express their needs and preferences, whether it’s asking for a slower dance or suggesting a different style.In conclusion, the conversation between Annabelle and Sarah sheds light on the often-overlooked experiences of neurodivergent individuals in the dance community. By fostering understanding and communication, dancers can create an inclusive environment that celebrates diversity in movement. If you’re a neurodivergent dancer or partner, take the insights shared here to enhance your dance experience and connect with others on a deeper level.Key Takeaways: - Embrace individuality in dance. - Communicate openly with partners about needs and preferences. - Recognize the unique challenges neurodivergent individuals face in social dance.As always, subscribe, follow, leave a comment and a review and join us on the socials!!!!

In 2022, Pidjay and her co-founder Bianca realized that many women were struggling with a lack of representation in dance spaces. They shared stories of their experiences and recognized the need for a supportive environment where women could thrive. Since its inception, WOW has made waves in the Kizomba community, attracting a group of participants eager for growth and connection. The festival is not just about dance; it’s about cultivating a community that understands and uplifts women. The festival integrates programs that focus on mental, emotional, and physical well-being, ensuring that attendees leave feeling inspired and empowered.For those interested in exploring the WOW Festival further, visit their website for upcoming events and insights. @wow.kizomba my.weezevent.com/world-of-women-4PIDJAY @pidjay_ @pidjay.enoraWinner of the Olympiades of Kizomba 2025 (Solo Styling category), Pidjay is a powerful dancer and dedicated teacher based in Paris. Starting her journey at the heart of the UrbanKiz scene, she had the opportunity to learn and train with some of the very best artists from the beginning of her UrbanKiz path.Today, in partnership with Enora, she is recognized as one of the leading female dancers, both as a leader and a follower. Through her innovative concepts, “Ladies Can Lead Too” and “Kiz n Swap,” she shares her knowledge and experience with dancers worldwide.As the founder of the WOW Kizomba movement, Pidjay has empowered many women across the globe to take the lead not only in dance, but also about their own role in the kizomba community and overall happiness on the dance floor.MARIA MALUCA @mariamalucahhMaria began dancing at a young age, exploring various dance styles before discovering Salsa at the age of 16. This sparked her passion for partner dancing and eventually led her to Kizomba, a dance that soon became a life-changing experience.In 2011, she founded tudokizomba, an organization dedicated to Kizomba events and courses and creating a kizomba community in North Germany. Since then, her journey has developed into a successful international career as a teacher and dancer alongside her first dance partnership with Arnold Bunda. Maria focuses primarily on Kizomba and Semba, sharing her knowledge with high energy, joy, and a deep understanding of the dances and their cultural roots.Maria’s work is characterized by precise pedagogical methods, extensive knowledge of the dances and culture she teaches, and strong event management experience. Over the years she has choreographed numerous projects and supported many dancers and event organizers by mentoring in 1on1 sessions or her own teacher training concept.As an organizer, Maria runs events in Hamburg and across Europe, ranging from workshops and social parties to larger festivals such as the Ginga Kizomba Festival. The focus of her events goes beyond presenting great dancing; she aims to promote strong teaching skills, professionalism, and a healthy development of the community.Among her latest projects is A Bailar – Dance School Hamburg, a collaboration between SalsaDiversion, El Chevere (Cuban Salsa schools), and tudokizomba. The school is located in a beautiful venue with six dance rooms and offers weekly classes and events for the local dance community.Maria’s mission within the kizomba community is to share her vision and experience through a positive attitude and professional work style. She maintains a strong connection to the authenticity of the dances while creating joyful and memorable experiences for dancers. Her goal is to contribute to a sustainable, respectful, and thriving future for the local and international kizomba community.

In the dance world, confidence is not just a desirable trait; it's essential. But how do you cultivate this confidence? In this post, we’ll explore five essential strategies to help you build a strong sense of self-worth and resilience as a dancer. With insights from Anita, a sovereignty and integration coach for dancers, we’ll uncover the deeper issues that affect our confidence and how to address them.Dancing is not just about technique; it’s also about the relationship you have with yourself. Often, dancers struggle with comparisons and self-doubt. Recognizing that these feelings are more about your personal relationship with yourself rather than just your dancing skills is crucial. As Anita explains, "Confidence is a byproduct of knowing your own worth."Embrace Your Unique Journey*Why This Matters: Each dancer has a unique path filled with challenges and triumphs. Embracing your journey can help you appreciate your growth.*How to Do It: Reflect on your experiences and how they have shaped you. Acknowledge your progress, no matter how small.*Common Mistake: Many dancers focus solely on their shortcomings. Instead, celebrate your achievements.Develop a Sovereign Mindset*Why This Matters: A sovereign dancer is resilient and self-aware. This mindset helps you navigate challenges in dance and life.*How to Do It: Practice self-acceptance. Understand that it’s okay to be where you are right now while still striving to grow.*Common Mistake: Avoid equating confidence with perfection. Accept that growth is a continuous journey.Set Boundaries in Dance and Life*Why This Matters: Setting boundaries is crucial for your self-respect and well-being.*How to Do It: Learn to say no when something doesn’t feel right. Prioritize your comfort and safety on the dance floor.*Common Mistake: Many dancers fear rejection and avoid asserting their boundaries, leading to discomfort.Shift the Focus from External Validation to Internal Fulfillment*Why This Matters: Seeking approval from others can undermine your confidence.*How to Do It: Focus on what makes you happy in dance. Seek joy in the process rather than external accolades.*Common Mistake: Don’t tie your self-worth to competition results or external feedback.Practice Mindfulness and Self-Reflection*Why This Matters: Mindfulness helps you stay present and aware of your thoughts and feelings.*How to Do It: Incorporate meditation or journaling into your routine to reflect on your experiences and emotions.*Common Mistake: Many dancers neglect their mental health in favor of physical training.Building confidence as a dancer requires a deep understanding of yourself and a commitment to personal growth. By embracing your unique journey, developing a sovereign mindset, setting boundaries, focusing on internal fulfillment, and practicing mindfulness, you can cultivate a lasting confidence that enhances not only your dancing but your overall life.Check out Anita’s work for more insights on building a sovereign relationship with yourself @risingdancerscoaching on IG.Anita is a Sovereignty & Integration Coach for dancers and founder of Rising Dancers Coaching, based in Amsterdam who’s been coaching dancers for 5+ years. With 20+ years across competitive ballroom, contemporary, jazz and bachata, she built a methodology addressing what most dance training skips entirely. She works with dancers stuck in comparison, approval-seeking, and never feeling enough, and helps them build something the dance world rarely teaches: a sovereign relationship with themselves. A Sovereign Dancer is stronger, more resilient, and harder to manipulate, abuse, or keep silent. That's not a side effect of her work. That's the point. She is also a vocal advocate for a safer, healthier dance culture, because the two are inseparable.

In this episode, Annabelle hosts her friends Dori and Kaycee for a candid discussion on topics ranging from travel essentials at festivals, sharing space with diverse dance styles, festival scheduling, to navigating community conflicts and safety issues. Whether you're a seasoned dancer or new to the scene, these insights aim to foster a safer, more connected dance community.As always, like, comment, follow, subscribe and join us on IG @the_real_kiz_podcast. Engage with the community and implement these ideas to foster a more inclusive, respectful, and vibrant dance scene. Your participation makes a difference!

In a world where confidence can feel elusive, the transformative power of dance becomes a beacon of hope. In this episode of the Real Kiz podcast, host Annabelle welcomes the inspiring Stre, who shares her incredible journey from shyness to self-assurance through the art of dance. Stre’s story begins ten years ago when a chance invitation to a salsa party sparked her passion for dance. "I just entered... I saw so many people dancing together. I was like, this is what I want to do," she recalls. This moment marked the beginning of her exploration into the world of dance, where she initially dabbled in salsa but eventually found her true love in kizomba. The environment and atmosphere of kizomba captured her heart, solidifying her commitment to this dance style.Despite her love and passion for dance, confidence did not come easily for Stre. For three years, she struggled to invite anyone to dance, feeling paralyzed by her shyness. "I was the most shy person... I couldn’t invite anybody to dance," she admitted. However, her determination to dance propelled her to confront her fears. By challenging herself to invite others and engage more deeply with the dance community, she slowly began to shed her inhibitions.The role of supportive teachers in Stre’s journey cannot be understated. Her salsa teacher, who emphasized the importance of both leading and following, helped her build confidence in her dancing abilities. Stre shared, "I was getting confident in my dancing, not in my life." This gradual build-up of confidence in the dance studio eventually translated into her personal life.To push through her fears, Stre implemented creative challenges. She began playing her ukulele in public spaces and interviewing strangers with her camera. "I was shaking with my camera... I was just like, 'Hey, do you want to answer questions?'" This exposure therapy allowed her to confront her fears head-on. "Even if someone says no... you're still alive and you're still okay," she emphasized, illustrating how resilience builds confidence.Stre's journey teaches us that fear is a universal experience. "Even if the fear is here, it doesn't mean that I cannot go," she asserts. Her experiences highlight the importance of taking risks and understanding that rejection is not a reflection of self-worth but rather an opportunity for growth. Stre’s journey from a shy newcomer to a confident dancer serves as a powerful reminder of the impact that dance and community can have on personal growth. Confidence is not innate; it is a skill that can be developed through persistence, support, and facing fears. For anyone on a similar journey, remember to embrace your fears and take that leap into the unknown—your confidence awaits!As always, like, comment, follow, subscribe and join us on IG @the_real_kiz_podcast, @stre_bluetterfly and @obnubile.e

In the heart of Seattle, a vibrant Kizomba dance community has blossomed, thanks to the dedication and passion of its members. In this episode of The Real Kiz Podcast, Annabelle interviews Laine, one of the key figures in the Seattle Kizomba scene, exploring the journey and growth of this local dance community. From its humble beginnings to its flourishing presence today, Laine shares her insights and experiences that highlight the importance of connection and support within the dance world.As the Kizomba dance community began to take shape in Seattle, it started small and gradually grew in strength and popularity. Initially, the scene consisted of a Monday practica and a monthly social event, where members could connect and practice together. However, the COVID-19 pandemic posed significant challenges, leading to a decline in participation and engagement.Laine recounts the difficulties faced during and after the lockdown, stating, "Coming out of lockdown and trying to get Kizomba back as a thing was itty bitty." Yet, the resilience of the community shone through as they adapted to new circumstances. With outdoor practicas resuming and new instructors joining the scene, the Kizomba community began to thrive once more, evolving into a vibrant space for dancers of all levels.One of the standout features of the Seattle Kizomba scene is its welcoming atmosphere. Laine emphasizes the importance of fostering connections among dancers, stating, "I think really deliberately being welcoming to people coming into the space" is crucial. This sense of belonging is what keeps the community alive and thriving.Laine's role in the community has been pivotal, as she coordinated events and facilitated a successful Monday practica after the pandemic. This initiative allowed dancers to reunite and share their passion for Kizomba while also introducing new members to the community. The commitment and enthusiasm of all involved have contributed to a renewed sense of excitement and growth in the Kizomba scene.The Seattle Kizomba community has come a long way since its inception, navigating challenges and celebrating triumphs along the journey. With passionate individuals like Laine at the forefront, the community continues to grow, fostering connections and creating a welcoming environment for all. Key takeaways from this discussion include the value of supportive networks, the importance of boundaries for all leaders and organizers and the joy of contributing to your local dance scene. Whether you are a seasoned dancer or a newcomer, there is always a place for you in this thriving community.As always, like, comment, follow, subscribe and join us on IG @the_real_kiz_podcast and @kizombaseattle

The dance floor is more than just a place to showcase moves; it's often a stage for blossoming romances and unexpected heartbreaks. In this episode of The Real Kiz Podcast, host Annabelle, along with relationship coach Marianne and dancer Jordan Jungle Rose, delve into the complexities of dating within the dance community. They explore why love can flourish or falter, offering valuable insights for dancers seeking meaningful connections.Dating in the dance scene is unique, characterized by physical closeness and emotional connections. The podcast begins with the question: "Why do some people find love on the dance floor while others experience heartbreak?" Marianne suggests that successful dating starts with clarity about one’s values and relationship goals. She emphasizes the importance of knowing what you want in a partner, highlighting that dancers should consider factors such as life goals and whether long-distance relationships are acceptable.A popular notion in the dance community is the joke about dancers being undateable. Annabelle and Marianne challenge this stereotype, discussing the importance of individual responsibility in dating. Marianne points out that it's not about being a dancer but rather about understanding oneself and what one seeks in a relationship. This perspective encourages dancers to reflect on their dating habits and attitudes.Connection in dance goes beyond the physical. Annabelle discusses the different levels of connection—physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and sexual. Each level serves its own purpose, and it's crucial for dancers to identify what type of connection they are seeking with others on the dance floor. This understanding can prevent conflating a momentary dance connection with deeper romantic feelings.Jordan provides insight into the social dynamics of dance events, likening them to club culture. He encourages listeners to remember that dancing is a social activity and to treat it as such. Many people may find themselves caught up in the moment of dancing, feeling a rush of emotions and validation, but Jordan reminds them that this can lead to misconceptions about the meaning of those connections. He highlights the importance of separating casual encounters from serious dating intentions.The trio emphasizes the significance of clear communication in the dance community. Marianne notes that many dancers fear discussing their intentions, which can lead to misunderstandings. She stresses that it's essential to express desires openly—whether seeking a casual relationship or something more serious. Jordan adds that the vulnerability experienced during intimate dances can complicate these conversations, but acknowledging this vulnerability is crucial for healthy interactions.Navigating the dance scene's romantic landscape requires self-awareness, clarity of intention, and effective communication. Dancers should take the time to understand their own goals and values while recognizing the importance of clear dialogue with potential partners. By doing so, they can foster meaningful connections and avoid the pitfalls of miscommunication and emotional confusion.Join the conversation @the_real_kiz_podcast on IG and connect with @a_belle94, @danceofrelationship and @mr_jungle_rose and as always please comment, rate, review, like, follow and subscribe to help us get the message out to more people!!!