The Power of Embodiment

My greatest thanks go to my teacher and colleague, Siegfried Essen, who introduced me to spiritual-systemic constellation and embodiment work in 2017. His work and approach were a revelation from the very first moment.

Individual and group sessions allow people to observe themselves from different perspectives by embodying different parts of themselves or, in a group setting, of other people.

By continuously accepting your body or yourself as a whole, individual being—preferably at least once a day—you direct your focus on reconciliation and unconditional love instead of self-doubt and scarcity. Brain research has confirmed that regular repetition of certain behaviours creates new nerve connections in our brains, even in adulthood. This means that we never stop learning and can acquire new skills regardless of age. In the same way, we can practice and learn self-acceptance and compassion.

Everything we have ever experienced in our lives is accumulated in our bodies. Even when we only imagine or dream things, the body reacts. In terms of directness and sincerity, our body awareness can be compared to how toddlers express themselves. The body reacts without thinking, expressing immediately what it feels. It responds to what we imagine. For example, if we believe that lactose is unhealthy for us and then drink milk, there’s a good chance that the body will respond with a rumbling belly, even if it turns out that the milk is lactose- free.

Constellation and embodiment work is ultimately about making us aware of unconditional love in various situations and choosing it. We say YES to ourselves and, therefore, YES to the life that we are. Confining feelings of shame, self-doubt, etc., keep us from accepting and receiving the love within ourselves. The hurt inner child in us still believes it does not deserve to be unconditionally loved. It learned early on that it must conform to the ideas of others in order to receive the approval of its parents or other caregivers.

Even if we repeatedly experience that we carry unconditional love within us, why is it so difficult to remember?

The body never lies; it sends its signals directly and clearly. When we take up a position (a role) in a constellation setting, we immediately sense whether we feel comfortable there or not. We may feel tension in our shoulders, sudden tiredness or the urge to sit or lie down. The body gives us clear instructions if we listen to it. Listening and paying attention are central to constellation and embodiment work.

The word express comes from the Latin ex (“out”) and pressare (“press”)—an encouragement to press out what distresses us through speaking or embodying it. The things that we hide or suppress do not resolve themselves. On the contrary, suppressing and ensuring our secrets remain hidden requires a lot of our precious life-force energy. Sometimes we suppress feelings because we believe that they are unreasonable or illogical. In this way, we hide certain sides and parts of ourselves. It takes courage to show oneself, to be vulnerable and to dare. As soon as we speak out what frightens us, it loses its power and its hold on us, and we feel relief. Expressing suppressed feelings is frequently followed by sighs of relief, spontaneous crying and laughter.

What often happens in interpersonal relationships is a shift in personal responsibility, which inevitably leads to problems. Self-responsibility shifts when we make someone else responsible for our own well-being or when we feel responsible for someone else’s. When we take responsibility for ourselves, we become free again, and in doing so, we free the other people involved as well.

How can we assert and maintain our boundaries effectively? Recognising one’s boundaries using the mind is often tricky, as we tend to think that setting boundaries or saying “no” is not OK.