The Kitchen Is On Fire

It's the 2020 TickyOff Christmas special and once more it looks like The Tickyoff Boyz could be flat out bading you farewell. Is Zoom podcasting the way to go? Should they hang up their podcasting spurs? Is there anywhere left for these two podcasting titans to go? It remains unclear. Before that though there are topics. These topics are vast, as ever. They are dissected with the skills of a back room vet paid for his shoddy scalpel work with equally as cut rate narcotics. Speaking of dodgy veterinarian education, they also wonder a while, perhaps for the second time, on whether or not horses lay eggs. Other animal chat topics include vertical whales, James's capon and Sam sees a dead wolf by the side of the road. Moving away from the animal kingdom they answer a bunch of questions from listeners, share some good news about Manny from Pidgin, are very touched by the success of the Pidgin Gofundme, and James asks an incredible question about living your life on Uranus. All the above diamond caper content plus 'The Sopranos' vs 'The Wire', Sam wears pyjamas, a coda where they basically worship Jimi Famurewa for a while and James tells all about the night Fay Maschler came to Pidgin. It's TickyOff and if this is farewell, just be grateful, for the rest of your lives on Planet Earth, that you were lucky enough to hear it. This episode is sponsored by wine titans dropwine.co.uk

Vibes are mixed up this week on the damn TickyOff. We begin with a solo intro by Sam which is as magnificent, insightful and flat out vibey as you'd expect without that heavy horse shaped vibe anchor weighing his vibe down. This is followed by a secretly recorded meeting between The Pidgin Boyz and Pidgin GM and Head chef Jack and Hamish. They discuss reopening Pidgin, the potential for London to move into Tier 3 and some thoughts on the current hospitality vibe in London. So many vibes. We thought a little honest peek behind a Pidgin shaped curtain might be of interest. We then move into the real vibe of the podcast with a brilliant guest, Rebecca Seal is here talking up a goddamn storm about her new book 'Solo: How To Work Alone'. She also gets into poisonous printers, fractal patterns, why the 8 hour work day is a nonsense and why she carries a pot plant around with her at all times. It's some darn fascinating chat right here and as ever, you are at least somewhat, welcome. Here is a link to the Pidgin GoFundMe campaign: https://uk.gofundme.com/f/keep-pidgin-flying Anything you can chip in would be greatly, vastly, mightily, appreciated. Rebecca's book 'Solo: How To Work Alone' is available via a hidden portal in the trunk of an old ash tree somewhere due east of here, also from bookshops both real, online, and probably imagined. This episode is sponsored by wine tinsel dancers dropwine.co.uk

This week it's TickyOff with The TickyOff Boyz. And no one else. It's been a tricky old week so James and Sam sit down late on Friday night to discuss said tricky old week. There's beating a joke to death chat, James's life in the 10 Cases kitchen discussion and a fair whack of Latin banter. They wonder on whether or not cooks can actually cook, Sam bakes his ragus now and there's a weird detour into a priest parking an ocean liner. They also discuss this week's last minute closure of Pidgin, their hopes for reopening this week, some sad news about a long term member of the Pidgin team, and try and find some positives in the current plight facing many in hospitality. There's also some detail on the upcoming Pidgin GoFundMe which is due to launch any day now including vouchers, wine tastings and a meal cooked by The TickyOff Two….. This episode is sponsored by wine beasts dropwine.co.uk

It's unclear whether this week's guest was named after a drum or a popular sat nav system but ultimately, that is more than a moot point. He's Tom Kerridge and he's here flat out talking about the new 'Hand And Flowers' cookbook, meeting Miss Marple, how and why his restaurant group has expanded and his deep love for the extremes of life in the kitchen. Before Tom arrives The TickyOff Boyz wonder whether or not their grandmothers actually liked them, whether or not they would ship their children to the police if they committed a crime and whether or not they remember Maradona's Hand Of God goal. Meanwhile, James tells an incredibly erotic tale involving The Crusades, tagine, and some very frisky elderly folk. All this plus, fun with meat-glue, The Doncaster Grill, St John at Christmas and Tom reveals exactly what Gary Neville eats…. This episode is sponsored by world cup of wine winners dropwine.co.uk Tom's new book 'The Hand And Flowers Cookbook' is available from sheep shearing stations across New Zealand and also probably from a bookshop or two. It's a beauty. Go get it. Oh and finally, the link to the boiled goose video discussed within the pod: https://youtu.be/8yvEYKRF5IA

This week aural events upon Thee TickyOff kick off with some braised sausage chat from Sam and somewhat more dramatically James has been in a car crash. But don't worry! Chill out. Sam is fine, the sausages were braised to perfection. Oh and James is alright too. Then things take a unique turn in the grand and hallowed history of the pod….they talk golf. Now hold on to yr equine creatures! I know maybe you're thinking, golf is gross, I hate golf, I have no interest in golf. However, bear with us here. This pod attempts and achieves the impossible, much as The TickyOff Boyz have done throughout their incredible podcasting career. Fortunately they, and you, have a hell of a sensei on board to yap up a storm about why maybe golf isn't quite what you think it is. That wise shaman is none other than New York Times bestselling author Tom Coyne calling in from Philadelphia. Tom talks about walking the perimeter of Ireland playing every single golf course and eating many kebabs, finding community and less division than you might expect travelling across America, why he's anti-mayo in salads and he also explains the wonders of the Burger Dog. There's discussion as to why golf maybe isn't just your grandfather's game these days and he reveals the place he could eat at least ten Georgia peach ice cream sandwiches… Finally, there's the long awaited return of Who Eats What? and Tom tells the best ghost sighting tale you've ever had on TickyOff. It's TickyOff, it's golf, it's one of the loveliest people we've ever had on and you need it in yer ears people. Trust us. Wake up. This episode is sponsored by the Gentle Ben of the world of wine dropwine.co.uk Tom's upcoming book 'A Course Called America' is available for preorder from all hardware and fancy dress shops….or just from all places that sell books. I can't do everything for you. You decide.

It's been a while. Some things have happened on Planet Earth. None of them compare to this event. The mighty return on The TickyOff Two. The TickyOff Boyz. Mankind's only hope. That's right. The world may be on fire but so is the goddamn kitchen so wake up and strap yourself the hell in. Since we last met Sam has failed to quit drinking, is in thrall to a fitness tracker, and again professes his love for the world's finest steakhouse, Aberdeen Angus. James made a foul Halloween soda, is very upbeat and is again taking freebies from a very provincial steakhouse mini-chain called Crowless or Robinfew or something…. Fortunately there is someone else making a return, that person is the incredible Asma Khan who returns to TickyOff to talk Netflix, crummy landlords, hiding from her relatives in her kitchen, the problems with mentor loyalty and the myth of the tortured genius. She also reveals all about the new Darjeeling Express opening this very week. All this plus, Asma says something very nice to the TickyOff Twits, there's a dead crow in a jar and James's Dad makes a truly grim sounding ice-cream involving Daim bars, and fish. It's TickyOff, an interstellar burst, and it's back to save the world again. This episode is sponsored by lockdown wine gods dropwine.co.uk

This episode of the greatest podcast series ever features comedian Alexander Owen talking up cruel childhood nicknames, the future of theatre, juggling during a Kafka performance, Zoom humour and his new series for Audible 'The Special Relationship'. Alexander also reports in on what James was like in school and gives the inside skinny on just how wild the 'Midsummer Murders' cast WhatsApp group gets. Before Alexander shows up James is feeling ill, made a terrible salad for some guests in his home and reveals all about staff food at The 10 Cases. Sam meanwhile lies about pate, wonders if anyone actually talks around a watercooler and compares his own restaurant to a dead body in the boot of a Volvo. There's also time to wonder if a skeleton can be ripped, discuss a musical about Arsene Wenger and ponder what moving house while wearing a giant prosthetic penis might be like. It's TickyOff and to be perfectly honest, that's all you're getting. Wake up. This episode is sponsored by the same wine folk as always dropwine.co.uk

This episode of thine TickyOff features food science legend Harold McGee talking his new book all about the wonderful world of smell. Harold also talks Heston, his McDonalds order of choice, the time he whipped some eggs in a prize given to his wife, the most disgusting bit of research he's ever done and how he cooks at home. Before Harold shows up on the line from San Francisco, James reveals all about his new role in the kitchen at The 10 Cases and how a ramekin of mustard nearly caused a full blown temper tantrum. Sam meanwhile has been to Brat, talks his favourite word and gives a shout out to the new book by friend to the podcast Tim Hayward. There's also time to diss tomato risotto, congratulate Thom Yorke from Radiohead on his wedding and talk ugly wine bottles. This episode is sponsored by wine bananas dropwine.co.uk

We're back with part two of a chat with the wondrous Petra Barran. This week things get even more serious as these three human mouths get properly audible on some flat out VAST topics. Diversity, recalibration, social capital, gatekeeping and the lack of space within capitalist structures. Wowzer…TickyOff gets serious….and anyone who thought that was ever likely has an irregular head. Before Petra arrives there is of course time for some standard TickyOff nonsense. James has a new job and some new trousers. Sam has eaten a pie and had toothache. Oh and they begin what will no doubt be a long running discussion about 'Tenet' which predictably moves into another hefty dollop of Tom Hardy chat. All of the above plus Petra and The TickyOff Boyz somehow move from The Ego Triangle into The Love Circle via some other Circles Of Fuckwittery….. This episode is sponsored by love circles of wine delivery dropwine.co.uk

This week's episode is beamed into yer ear canals from The Garret where James and Sam are reunited upon the microphones in person for the first time since the worldwide covid calamity hellscape we all find ourselves in now, began. Said microphones are actually bust so huge apologies for the shoddy sound this week, and last week. We assure you said garbage sonics will be remedied by next week. Anyway, it's worth battling the mildly irritating sound to hear about the Ramsden family's very first visit to Sam's house. Yep that's right, James has never ever been to Sam's house, until a week ago. This summit of the two mighty Families Of TickyOff was quite the affair, involving Sunday Sauce, a vomiting child, a free handbag and a vast Kilner jar full of orange squash. There's also discussion of another twitter kerfuffle involving an Italian restaurant and the pair ponder whether or not insects drink liquids. After that highest of octane starts finally Petra Barran arrives. Among many other things Petra is the founder of Kerb, the street food facilitator par excellence. Petra discusses moving to New Orleans, being rather than doing, how to grow and surviving the recession. She is also incredibly wise upon some pretty grande topics such as financial empowerment, feeling a part of a place and why food is the canary in the coal mine for landlords and developers. All in all, there was far too much we didn't get chance to yap about so Petra will be back soon for part two of this pretty goddamn interesting triple mouthed babblefest. This episode is sponsored by wine sellers of wine dropwine.co.uk