Looking Back, Leading Forward with Walter Rhein
Less than a week after the midterms, Walter Rhein joined me live.We came to talk about looking back and leading forward. We talked about the wins, the pressure to make space for people who never make space for us, why messaging matters, and how money decides who gets heard.Here’s what stayed with me.Opening* Frame for today: the past taught every one of us rules about who leads and who waits. Today we look back so we can keep the lessons, leave the old rules behind, and lead forward.Bio: Walter RheinWalter Rhein writes I’d Rather Be Writing on Substack for more than 13,000 subscribers and hosts weekday Lives on his second Substack, Rise Together. He is the father of two daughters and the author of Beyond Birkie Fever.In his own words:“I stand for women’s rights, tolerance, integrity, and compassion. Together we’ll work to create a better world for our kids.” (Rhein, n.d.)“Whenever I have conversations like this, I think of my daughters.” (Rhein, 2026c, para. 10)“We get our power back not through compliance or denial, but on insistence. But in order to demand justice, we have to overcome the cultural conditioning that’s turned us into perpetual victims.” (Rhein, 2026b, para. 22)“We have to find the courage to explore outside the parameters of our cultural identity. Anything that we’re allowed to perceive without struggle does not contain the keys to our liberation.” (Rhein, 2026a, para. 30)Main Points1. Looking back* Since the midterms, what have you been telling everyone?On the Live (2:19): Walter said, “There’s all this pressure in this society to make us make space for conservatives,” and, “It’s time for them to make some space for us.” Margaret said, “I am done making space for them.”* What is one lesson from your past that shapes how you lead today?On the Live (22:07): Walter said the main thing he learned this past year, from talking with candidates, is that “we do have access to our government. We can pressure our representatives to do what we want them to do.”* In “Teach Yourself to Demand Your 99 Restitutions” (Rhein, 2026b), you write about the conditioning that teaches us to back down. Where did you first learn it, and how did you start to unlearn it?On the Live (20:19): Walter said decent people take accusations seriously because they worry about hurting others, and bullies and narcissistic abusers use that to put them on the defensive. He traced it back to when he was five. Margaret said, from growing up in a narcissistic family system, “It’s all about control.”* How did each of you feel after the midterms?On the Live (3:50): Margaret said she had not had a drink in over a year and “had to pour me some wine to celebrate.” Walter said the morning after “was like getting a first down. It wasn’t like scoring a touchdown.”For women leaders: I said on the Live, “We have to take our power back and we have to keep moving forward.”2. The rules we inherited* In “How Perverting the Concept of ‘Sin’ Created Racism, White Supremacy, and the End of Humanity” (Rhein, 2026a), you trace today’s problems back to where our cultural rules came from. Why does looking at the source matter for a leader?On the Live (41:56): Walter said, “Many of the truths that we believe to be self-evident are actually lies,” and that we have to examine “every pillar of our belief and every pillar of our identity.”* Margaret’s lens: many women leaders were handed rules that kept them small, and following them felt like survival. Healing what power systems took starts with asking whose rules you are still following. What helps someone see those rules clearly?On the Live (46:42): Margaret said, “As leaders, we need to go within and heal our inner child,” and pointed to pattern recognition: history repeats the same language and ideology.* Why does messaging matter?On the Live (15:08): Walter said, “We have to take back control of the messaging,” and pointed to newspapers that write “underage woman” instead of “child.”For women leaders: I said on the Live, “I support marginalized people because I’m one of them.”3. Women, power and the men in women’s lives* In “Why Saying Women Can’t Get Elected Is Rape Culture” (Rhein, 2026c), you push back on the idea that women can’t win. Where does that belief come from, and why does it last?On the Live (1:00:02): Walter pointed to the women elected in the midterms: “We just elected over 100 women to Congress,” and named Georgia’s first Black governor and a Latina governor in Texas.* What does money have to do with who gets heard?On the Live (24:00): Margaret described a candidate who had no money and asked people for a dollar, and compared billionaire donations to a drug dealer: free at first, then “now you owe me.” Walter said, “You make a deal with the devil. The devil don’t change. You’re the one who changes.”* You’re raising two daughters. How has that shaped the way you see women’s rights?On the Live (25:50): Walter said his children have come home from school with questions about the news, and said, “These are my kids. We have to have accountability for this.”For women leaders: I said on the Live, “We all have to come together and bring that power and bring our A-game.”4. Leading forward* You write about insisting instead of complying (Rhein, 2026b). What does insisting look like for a woman at work this week?On the Live (53:04): Walter said, “Do not succumb to that pressure to be silent… Be loud. Make them make space for you.”* How do we carry the lessons of the past without carrying the hurt?On the Live (45:00): Margaret said, “A lot of us was hurt,” and that being hurt does not give anyone the right to hurt others. Walter told everyone to rest, and said, “You’re not going to survive unless you celebrate those wins.”* What is one step anyone listening can take to lead forward?On the Live (54:30): Walter told the story of a buck that held its ground on his morning walk: “Just plant yourself in the ground. Be resilient.” Margaret said, “Each and every one of us can do our part.”For women leaders: I said on the Live, “Right is right and wrong is wrong,” and, “Our job is to continue to awaken people to the realities of life.”Social MediaBluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/walterrhein.bsky.social. Linked on his About page.Key Research * A record in Congress. At least 159 women from both parties will serve in the next Congress, seven more than serve now (Fayaz et al., 2026).* Firsts for governor. Keisha Lance Bottoms became Georgia’s first woman governor and the nation’s first Black woman governor. Gina Hinojosa became Texas’s first Latina governor (Kindelan & Doshi, 2026).* A record in the corner office. A record 55 women lead Fortune 500 companies in 2026, 11% of the list, up from 7.4% in 2020 (Lake, 2026).* The broken first rung. For every 100 men promoted to manager, 93 women are promoted, and only 60 Black women. The gap has held for 11 years in a row (LeanIn.Org & McKinsey & Company, 2025).* The pay gap, then and now. Women earned 85% of what men earned in 2024. The gap was 35 cents on the dollar in 1982 and 15 cents in 2024 (Fry & Aragão, 2025).* 120 years to parity. At the current pace, the world is 120 years from closing the gender gap, and 194 years from parity in political leadership (World Economic Forum, 2026).* Still proving themselves. 55% of Americans say there are too few women in top business jobs; the top reason they give is that women have to do more to prove themselves. 65% of women say so, compared with 45% of men (Horowitz, 2023).Closing Quote“History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if faced with courage, need not be lived again.” (Angelou, 1994, p. 272)Try this: This week, in one room where you would usually stay quiet, say what you came to say.What is one lesson from your past that still shapes how you lead?ReferencesAngelou, M. (1994). The complete collected poems of Maya Angelou. Random House.Fayaz, A., Rigdon, R., & O’Kruk, A. (2026, November 9). A record number of women will serve in the next Congress. CNN. https://www.cnn.com/2026/1… This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit substack.iprofessionalcoaching.com/subscribe
