The Blackout Diaries

Blackout Diaries is back with a special World Cup episode. We talk about how US towns are being drunk-dry of beer from international fans and how Trump got a red card reversed, causing a lot of first-time US soccer fans to realize how corrupt FIFA is. This leads to a general corruption theme where we talk about FIFA bribes and other hilarious grifters including biohacker Bryan Johnson who claims he will live forever online but was just diagnoses with an incurable disease.

Sammy Hardwood shares some stories about what it's like to be a male stripper before our live audience in Chicago. Sammy then joins CJ and Sean in the studio to tell a few more stories and detail all the questions you get when you work as a male stripper. CJ and Sean share their own stories about strippers and strip clubs, like the time a stripper used her implants to nearly concuss a man a breakfast. And we share some crazy national stories including a town where the mayor led a mob to burn down a strip club and a LA strip club whose sign keeps landing them in trouble.

CJ and Sean talk about the recently-departed Ted Turner, an old-school billionaire who seemed like he'd be fun to have a beer with. We laugh about how he ran the Braves as almost a barnstorming gag team in the early 1980s and his confidence that the American public did not have sophisticated taste in television. CJ shares some stories about Derek Stevens, the official billionaire of The Blackout Diaries- a good-timing, vintage Casino owner that CJ knows from his sports gambling world. We also share some of the details emerging from the Sam Altman / Elon Musk trial, and how Altman seems to be a hilarious liar. And in Sean's neck of the woods, there is a Wisconsin business magnate who keeps promising his brewery will giveaway free beer the day Trump dies.

Nick Vatterott, one of our favorite comedians, joins us for the whole hour and we mostly talk about robots. CJ, Sean and Nick joke about recent news where robots broke two bus shelters in Chicago, a robot police officer was attacked in California, and some cities are banning food-delivery robots on sidewalks. We also talk about robot taxis, which Nick and CJ ride in LA and Nick's new, award-winning movie about life as a hoarder.

Comedian Jayson Cross tells the story about the time he went out clubbing with a pinched sciatic nerve in his back, one of the myriad struggles of drinking in old age. Jayson joins CJ and Sean in the studio and tells an additional, crazy story about the time he stopped a hate crime while walking the streets of New York City. Jayson's night out with sciatica inspires of a theme of drunken injuries. We talk about the science behind why you get injured more often when drinking, along with some crazy past injuries, drinking related or not, like the park ranger who had the world record for surviving direct-hit lighting strikes.

A special St Patrick's Day episode! Recorded on the weekend where Chicago dyes the river Green, CJ and Sean discuss some of their favorite St Patrick's Day traditions, including The almost-hilariously-dangerous Cheltenham Horse-Racing Festival which is held in Ireland on St. Patrick's Day. That is compared to other, wildly dangerous horse races throughout the world before CJ and Sean re-read their favorite annual work of journalism- the transcription of all of the arrests made during last year's St Patrick's Day parade as heard over the Chicago police radio.

Comedian Nick Cartwright tells our live audience about the time he and a buddy did acid only for his friend to think Nick was controlling his brain to make him covet Nick, eventually leading to a half destroyed house and visit from the police. It's a great Blackout Diaries story in that its equal parts (like all perfect cocktails) scary and funny. Nick joins CJ and Sean in the studio to share more details on the story, along with more general talk on bad trips. CJ and Sean share some stories from bad trips, be it figurative, transcendent drug-induced trips, or traveling adventures, i.e. trips, that went bad. We detail how and why drugs make us falsely confident that we are having profound thoughts. Checkout Nick online at nikcartwrightcomedy for more hilarious comedy plus the odd piece of advice on cards and gambling.

Sean is frozen inside his house so CJ and Sean do an episode about the cold weather. We talk about the first-ever warning for exploding trees and how its so cold bars often take pity upon weary drunks, thirsty enough to brave the elements. CJ talks about how stadium security in Chicago, in this weather, lets you bring almost anything into the game. We discuss the legendarily cold Chiefs playoff game where fans listened to booze over doctors and had to get some of their fingers amputated. We also share the story of the Titanic chef who survived below-freezing water while drunk. Sean shares a story about the time he had a drunken injury in freezing cold Cleveland weather, surrounded by warm weather people.

Comedian, and lawyer, Charles Star comes to Chicago and tells the story about totaling his car, after leaving a winery, during his honeymoon- even though he was stone sober. Charles joins CJ and Sean to talk about what its like to be a lawyer, when every drunk you meet has a thousand questions for you. Charles also talks about some times when he was younger and his friends drove drunk which leads to a conversation on DUIs. CJ and Sean share statistics on how its thankfully declining in recent years. We talk about how much more common it used to be along with some stories from back home about half-baked plans for avoiding DUIs and one guy, from Sean's home town, who had 20 DUIs.

An episode devoted to the ups-and-downs, risks-and-rewards of Holiday Parties. CJ and Sean discuss some historically-famous holiday parties, like the First Ward Ball in Chicago, a corrupt, drunken political party thrown every Christmas time; the classic tradition of Saturnalias, which are winter parties with debauched drinking that a Lord of Misrule heads. We share some of our own stories, including office and apartment holiday parties gone awry, including the time a tree was destroyed at the bottom of a high rise. Sean gives some hilarious details on the classic holiday party treat (from years gone by) of mince meat pies, which were laden with so much booze everyone went to sleep with nightmares.