The Art of the Hook Up

We’re all familiar with the stereotype of the ‘nice guy’ - that straight bloke who bends over backwards to do favours for women, and expects attention in return. I’d like to introduce you to another kind of ‘nice guy’ - one who hides their sexual needs, feelings and desires for fear of offending or hurting others. Jordan Hackett is a sex coach and sexological bodyworker, and he’s also a recovered ‘nice guy’ of the latter variety. In this episode of the podcast, he’s joining us to share his story, and talk about the benefits of healthy, respectful sexual expression. 

There’s a saying in the alternative sex scene: ‘Couples that play together, stay together.’ Obviously that might not always be true...but dating - or hooking up - as a couple definitely works for some! Today you have the chance to hear two sides of the story. I’ve had quite a few adventures with couples, it’s something I really enjoy. And today I’m also speaking with Imogen and Andy from The Inner Winner Show Podcast, who love picking up together. I can’t wait to compare notes, find out how they work as a team, and explore what we all need to have a good experience. Here are a couple of links that we mentioned in this episode:"It's you and me on the same team." (Podcast episode)"How to have threesomes." (blog post)

Often, the most difficult part of dating is the conversations that we know we need to have, but that are incredibly awkward. Things like refusing a second date or ending a relationship might feel impossible to discuss, so instead we run for the hills. But there’s a better way.Justine is an expert in finding the right words for sticky situations. She writes beautiful breakup messages on Instagram under the handle @_good.byes_ and calls herself ‘Your Friendly Ghostwriter’ and in this episode, she joins us to share her secrets for tackling the big conversations and making sure you’re heard.

This episode is about a sensitive topic – erection issues. I know SO MANY guys who give themselves a hard time when they can’t get it up! But not getting a hard-on is a pretty normal issue for all sorts of people. I’m even going to go one step further and say that I reallylove getting with people who have trouble staying hard. This episode, I’m talking dick problems – what to do about it, and whether it matters – with intimacy and sex coach Lorraine.

The pandemic has gotten a LOT of people interested in online dating. And because we’re chatting online more, and waiting longer to meet in person, knowing how to have a good conversation is essential. This episode I’ll be asking my friend Greg the eternally perplexing question, ‘How DO you talk to women online?’ Hopefully, He’ll have some ideas for all of us.

Earlier this year I heard on the grapevine that legendary writer Allison Moon – author of Girlsex101 – was working on a book about how to have good casual sex. And now it’s here, and I’m delighted to have the author herself on the show! It’s not often I get to put my head together with someone who cares about this topic as much as I do. So with that in mind, I’ve put together some of the big questions that listeners and readers have about hook ups, so we can all learn from what Allison has to say. 

Whew, so, this episode is…kind of personal. A few months ago, I reached out to my friend Tess, an accomplished sex educator and occupational therapist, to get some advice on a sensitive topic. You see, I’ve always has a LOT of trouble with orgasms, especially around hook-up partners. I don’t know if it’s performance anxiety, or the fact that I haven’t found the right approach yet…whatever it is, it’s started to really bug me lately and I’ve decided I’d like to do better. And then I thought, ‘Well, why not record our conversation? I’m sure I’m not the only person out there who struggles with this stuff.’ So here we are. Tess is an incredible therapist and educator who has worked with some people in very tricky situations, to help them have better sex. I can’t wait to hear what they have to say.

This episode is all about ethics – the practical moral choices we make in our day-to-day lives. And when it comes to sex and dating, moral dilemmas are everywhere. From how to un-match someone on Tinder to being honest about your other girlfriends, we’ve all found ourselves in situations where we need to make some tricky choices.  Well, I’m not going to ask you to make them alone. Meet Gordon – he’s a university-educated ethicist who’s had some experience with online dating. Together, we’re going to work out what being ethical means, and why you should care in the first place. 

Are you single and living alone during the coronavirus pandemic? Are you starting to feel #lockdownthirsty? Throughout the ages, sex workers have always been there for folks who know what they need and aren’t afraid to pay for it. Now that we’re socially isolated, can we still access sexy services? The answer is YES.I’m talking with an incredible guest on this episode: escort, writer and vlogger Jenna Love. She’s here to have a really open and honest conversation about the industry, so we can explore your options for connecting with the pros online and getting your needs met.PS. Want to donate to the Scarlet Alliance emergency fund for Aussie sex workers during the pandemic? Here's the link: https://chuffed.org/project/emergency-support-sex-workers-australia

When it comes to online dating, the good ‘ol ‘unsolicited dick pic’ is one of the most common hazards people – especially women – have to deal with. But not everyone hates the idea of getting a dick pic – if it’s properly negotiated first. When we’re swapping sexy photos with someone online there are tons of people out there who appreciate a good penis picture. This time around I’m welcoming my friend Gabriel back for a second conversation. You might remember him from episode 11, the one about sex disasters…but as it turns out, he’s also pretty darn good at taking sexy selfies. Join us as we discuss the dos and don’ts of dick pics…and where to put the camera when your hands are busy.