Pablo's Rhino – Act Three

PABLO’S RHINO – ACT THREEThis is it. The rhino’s still dead. Pablo’s still insane. And our three idiots? They’re in way too deep… and now they’re in a musical.Charlie’s hallucinating. Sam might be in love. Marcus definitely joins a jungle cult. And somehow, everyone’s singing. Yes, even Pablo. Yes, it slaps.There’s a DEA sting gone sideways. A Colombian jungle rave with ayahuasca and jazz hands. A butt gets shot. A fake rhino gets stolen. And the final scene? Picture Book of Mormon on cocaine—if the choir was armed and one guy’s still pooping in a tree.It’s sweaty. It’s stupid. It’s glorious.This is Act Three of Pablo’s Rhino.And it might just be our masterpiece.Starring:Tim Friedlander as the NarratorJim O'Heir as Charlie Bleeker – the neurotic, reluctant heroDarin Toonder as Marcus – the chaos agent with a trust fund and a dreamJeff Bergman as Sam – loyal, closeted, and occasionally clairvoyantWayne Lopez as Pablo Escobar – the crime lord-turned-cheesemaker with a soft spot for rhinosAndrea Savo as Lucia – a badass Colombian cop who’s more Indiana Jones than law enforcementKeylor Leigh as Audrey – Charlie’s sharp-tongued, no-bullshit ex-wifeLynette Coll as Maria Chung Escobar – Pablo’s power-tripping wife with a hair-trigger temperDustin Green as Agent Knowles – a DEA cowboy with a chip on his shoulderHolden Myers as Agent Martinez – the sidekick who really just wants empanadasWritten by Craig Goodwill & Sam Ruano, Pablo’s Rhino is a tequila-soaked thrill ride full of midlife panic, monkey knife fights, and unexpected heart.Turn up. Black out. Hit play.Big thanks to Mood.com our partner in high vibes. Use code TABLEREAD20 for 20% off at Mood.com. Legal THC & CBD. Nationwide. You’re welcome.Our Sponsors:* Check out Mood and use my code TABLEREAD for a great deal: https://mood.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Our three heroes are officially in over their heads.After accidentally killing a rhinoceros that belonged to Pablo Escobar (yes, that Pablo Escobar), Charlie, Sam, and Marcus must scramble to replace the beast—or face the wrath of a very-much-alive crime lord.Act Two turns the volume up on absurdity, as the guys tumble through hallucinogenic jungle rituals, cartel parties, DEA showdowns, a full-on rhino heist, and one unexpected monologue that might just save their lives.Starring:Tim Friedlander as the NarratorJim O'Heir as Charlie Bleeker – the neurotic, reluctant heroDarin Toonder as Marcus – the chaos agent with a trust fund and a dreamJeff Bergman as Sam – loyal, closeted, and occasionally clairvoyantWayne Lopez as Pablo Escobar – the crime lord-turned-cheesemaker with a soft spot for rhinosAndrea Savo as Lucia – a badass Colombian cop who’s more Indiana Jones than law enforcementKeylor Leigh as Audrey – Charlie’s sharp-tongued, no-bullshit ex-wifeLynette Coll as Maria Chung Escobar – Pablo’s power-tripping wife with a hair-trigger temperDustin Green as Agent Knowles – a DEA cowboy with a chip on his shoulderHolden Myers as Agent Martinez – the sidekick who really just wants empanadasWritten by Craig Goodwill & Sam Ruano, Pablo’s Rhino is a tequila-soaked thrill ride full of midlife panic, monkey knife fights, and unexpected heart.Big thanks to Mood.com our partner in high vibes. Use code TABLEREAD20 for 20% off at Mood.com. Legal THC & CBD. Nationwide. You’re welcome.Our Sponsors:* Check out Mood and use my code TABLEREAD for a great deal: https://mood.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

🚨 Feed Drop Alert from your friends at Table Read! Our pals at Voyage Media—creators of multiple #1 fiction podcasts—are back with I Am Echo, a mind-bending sci-fi thriller that’s part Succession, part Westworld. Season Two just dropped, now starring the legendary Tony Shalhoub (Monk, Maisel), picking up where Season One's buried secrets left off. Memory implants, billionaire power plays, and a daughter who holds the key to it all. It’s twisty, high-stakes, and binge-worthy. 🎧 Both seasons of I Am Echo are now streaming—check out the trailer here and dive in. https://www.voyagemedia.fm/show/i-am-echo/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Charlie Bleeker’s life is unraveling—his writing career is stalled, his ex-wife is a cop who can't resist pulling him over, and his teenage son views him as a failure. When his reckless childhood friend Marcus proposes a dubious investment opportunity in Colombia, Charlie reluctantly agrees, setting off a chain of events that spiral hilariously out of control. From entanglements with a reformed cartel leader-turned-pastry chef to mishaps involving Pablo Escobar's pet rhino, Act One of Pablo’s Rhino introduces a midlife crisis comedy where absurdity reigns and every decision leads to deeper chaos. Starring: Tim Friedlander as the Narrator Jim O'Heir as Charlie, the beleaguered writer seeking redemption Darin Toonder as Marcus, the thrill-seeking trust-fund playboy Jeff Bergman as Sam, a man embracing his true self amidst the madness Wayne Lopez as Pablo Escobar, the notorious crime lord with a surprising new passion Andrea Savo as Lucia, the sharp-witted detective entangled in the chaos Dustin Green and Holden Myers as DEA agents Knowles & Martinez, whose investigative efforts are as misguided as they are comical Keylor Leigh as Audrey, Charlie's no-nonsense ex-wife who keeps him grounded Lynette Coll as Maria Chung Escobar, the formidable power behind the throne Written by Craig Goodwill & Sam Ruano, Pablo’s Rhino is an over-the-top, fast-talking, tequila-soaked thrill ride that blends midlife crises with international escapades, delivering a story as unpredictable as it is entertaining. Official Table Read Merch: https://thetablereadpodcast.myshopify.com/Big thanks to Mood.com our partner in high vibes. Use code TABLEREAD20 for 20% off at Mood.com. Legal THC & CBD. Nationwide. You’re welcome.Our Sponsors:* Check out Mood and use my code TABLEREAD for a great deal: https://mood.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Pablo’s Rhino Welcome to the table read that makes international crime, midlife crises, and questionable decision-making look like an art form. A washed-up accountant, a cartel queen, two bumbling DEA agents, and—because why not—Pablo Escobar’s pet rhino collide in a story so absurd, so wildly unpredictable, that even the characters can’t believe they’re in it. Performed by an all-star cast who bring every unhinged line to life with reckless abandon: 🎙 Tim Friedlander as the Narrator 🎙 Jim O’Heir as Charlie, a brilliant writer turned reluctant action hero 🎙 Darin Toonder as Marcus, a trust-fund playboy with a taste for trouble 🎙 Jeff Bergman as Sam, a closeted man finally stepping into the spotlight (and possibly a fight cage) 🎙 Wayne Lopez as Pablo Escobar, a crime lord-turned-domesticated pastry chef 🎙 Andrea Savo as Lucia, a fierce detective with a soft spot for fools 🎙 Dustin Green & Holden Myers as DEA agents Knowles & Martinez, trying (and failing) to expose the truth 🎙 Keylor Leigh as Audrey, Charlie’s no-nonsense ex-wife who knows exactly how to keep him in line 🎙 Lynette Coll as Maria Chung Escobar, the real power behind the throne Written by Craig Goodwill & Sam Ruano, Pablo’s Rhino is an over-the-top, fast-talking, bullet-dodging, tequila-soaked thrill ride that should probably come with a warning label. Fast, smart, and just deranged enough to keep you coming back for more. Hit play before someone puts out a bounty on you too.Big thanks to Mood.com our partner in high vibes. Use code TABLEREAD20 for 20% off at Mood.com. Legal THC & CBD. Nationwide. You’re welcome.Our Sponsors:* Check out Mood and use my code TABLEREAD for a great deal: https://mood.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

  "Table Read Podcast - The Jew Who Saved Christmas Aftershow" In this spirited aftershow, Team S&M—Selena Warren and Marissa Reed—sit down to unpack the hilarious and heartfelt journey behind The Jew Who Saved Christmas. From crafting the ultimate holiday hybrid story to juggling CGI elves and wild budget dreams, the duo delves into the creative highs and chaotic moments that brought their script to life. They share their unique writing process, the joy of table reads, and the challenges of making their voices heard in a shifting entertainment landscape. Equal parts insightful and irreverent, this episode is a festive deep dive into storytelling, creativity, and what it takes to make a holiday classic that’s anything but traditional. The Jew Who Saved Christmas When Bernie Gold, a sarcastic, weed-toting Spirit Airlines agent, accidentally doses Santa Claus with a magical edible, she finds herself on a chaotic, high-flying quest to save Christmas—or risk becoming history’s most hated Jew. Packed with razor-sharp wit, irreverent humor, and surprisingly heartfelt moments, The Jew Who Saved Christmas is a fast-paced holiday comedy that blends absurd mishaps with touching lessons about family, identity, and the power of embracing the unexpected. It’s the ultimate Christmas-Hanukkah hybrid that will leave you laughing, cringing, and maybe even tearing up. Big thanks to Mood.com our partner in high vibes. Use code TABLEREAD20 for 20% off at Mood.com. Legal THC & CBD. Nationwide. You’re welcome.Our Sponsors:* Check out Mood and use my code TABLEREAD for a great deal: https://mood.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Act 3: The Jew Who Saved Christmas Strap in, folks—Act 3 of The Jew Who Saved Christmas takes the chaos of Acts 1 and 2, sprinkles it with some Christmas magic, and cranks it up to “Holy latke, is this really happening?” With Santa still higher than your cousin at a Phish concert, Bernie finds herself fully in charge of the sleigh, a bag of presents, and the fate of Christmas itself. No pressure, right? From a showdown at TSA (where Bernie proves that saving Christmas sometimes means dodging tasers) to a rooftop brawl with reindeer in full meltdown mode, Bernie’s journey is a mix of slapstick comedy and heartfelt moments. There’s a rogue gingerbread elf screaming on the sleigh radio, Santa pulling Die Hard-level stunts, and Bernie dropping life advice on orphans like she’s a jaded holiday therapist. Did we mention she’s doing this all while rocking a pair of Uggs and the lingering regret of having roofied the big guy in red? But it’s not all chaos (okay, it’s mostly chaos). Bernie starts to realize that maybe—just maybe—this whole fiasco is more than a holiday disaster. Maybe it’s her chance to prove she’s not the screw-up everyone thinks she is. Or maybe it’s just a chance to survive one more sleigh ride without hurling. Either way, it’s pure comedic gold. The Cast Still Slaying It: Jeff Bergman, Selyna Warren, Jim O’Heir, Marissa Read, John Milhiser, Kiel Kennedy, Tiffany Black, Carla Delaney, Ashley Bell, and David Jacks continue to bring their A-game, balancing over-the-top laughs with just the right amount of holiday heart. ✨Act 3 of The Jew Who Saved Christmas is what happens when Elf meets Superbad at a menorah-lighting party. It’s absurd, hilarious, a little sweet, and the perfect ending to a holiday tale that’s anything but traditional. Whether you’re here for the laughs, the feels, or just to see how Bernie gets out of this mess, you won’t be disappointed.🎄🔥Big thanks to Mood.com our partner in high vibes. Use code TABLEREAD20 for 20% off at Mood.com. Legal THC & CBD. Nationwide. You’re welcome.Our Sponsors:* Check out Mood and use my code TABLEREAD for a great deal: https://mood.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Act 2: The Jew Who Saved Christmas So, remember how Bernie accidentally roofied Santa? Yeah, things have escalated. Turns out, when you drug the guy who single-handedly runs Christmas, the universe hands you the reins of a magical sleigh and screams, “Good luck, schmuck!” Act 2 is Bernie’s full-blown trial by (latke) fire as she fumbles her way through saving the holiday while Santa cycles between being zonked out and, uh, aggressively unhinged. With a sleigh that feels like it’s held together by Hanukkah prayers and duct tape, Bernie somehow manages to deliver presents across the Midwest. We’re talking rooftops, chimneys, and more near-death experiences than a Spirit Airlines landing. Along the way, she’s got to wrangle her stoned passenger (Santa with candy cane nunchucks, anyone?), give some real talk to a tiny sad orphan about divorce (because therapy was booked), and dodge TSA agent Gimble, who’s basically The Terminator if he hated joy instead of Sarah Connor. And let’s talk about the chaos: reindeer meltdowns. An almost crash landing. Bernie’s sudden realization that “wait, this sleigh doesn’t have seatbelts??” This act is a disaster in the BEST way—like if Seth Rogen got to rewrite The Polar Express. And just when Bernie starts thinking, “Hey, maybe I’m good at this?”—the universe is like, “LOL, nah.” Cue Santa going full Maccabee berserker mode. And the cast? They’re killing it: Jeff Bergman, Selyna Warren, Jim O’Heir, Marissa Read, John Milhiser, Kiel Kennedy, Tiffany Black, Carla Delaney, Ashley Bell, and David Jacks make this ride more fun than watching your drunk uncle try to carve the turkey. Everyone’s bringing their A-game, delivering laughs sharper than Bernie’s wit and just enough heart to keep you invested in this glorious dumpster fire of a Christmas tale. ✨Act 2 of The Jew Who Saved Christmas is snarky, chaotic, and unexpectedly sweet. It’s everything you’d want in a holiday comedy—plus a little weed, some questionable decisions, and a lot of screaming. Who knew saving Christmas could be this messy—or this much fun?Big thanks to Mood.com our partner in high vibes. Use code TABLEREAD20 for 20% off at Mood.com. Legal THC & CBD. Nationwide. You’re welcome.Our Sponsors:* Check out Mood and use my code TABLEREAD for a great deal: https://mood.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Act 1: The Jew Who Saved Christmas Welcome to the holiday chaos you never knew you needed. Meet Bernie Gold—Spirit Airlines check-in clerk, reluctant adult, and connoisseur of bad decisions. It’s Christmas Eve (or, as Bernie will remind you, the seventh night of Hanukkah), and while the rest of O’Hare Airport is brimming with holiday cheer, Bernie’s slouching her way through TSA complaints, confiscated wine bottles, and unsolicited career advice from her aggressively optimistic co-worker, Eve. Bernie’s life is a snow globe of dysfunction, and someone just shook it—hard. Enter a mysterious piece of "Miracle Gelt" that takes this night from mildly chaotic to “holy crap, is that actually Santa Claus in my parents’ garage?” Let’s just say Santa’s not exactly in prime sleigh-piloting condition, and Bernie might’ve had something to do with it. What follows is a whirlwind of edible-fueled mishaps, family judgment, and a holiday disaster that’s teetering on the edge of redemption. And the Cast? This lineup will make you laugh so hard you’ll spill your eggnog: Jeff Bergman (@jeffbergmanofficial) – The voice legend who brings magic to every moment. Selyna Warren (@selynadoubleya) – Writer, star, and the kind of comedic genius that keeps you hooked. Jim O’Heir (@therealjimoheir) – The guy who stole your heart in Parks and Rec steals the show again. Marissa Read (@marissalread) – A double-duty powerhouse delivering laughs and heart. John Milhiser (@johnmilhiser) – Former SNL dynamo bringing the absurdity to life. Kiel Kennedy (@kielkennedy) – The gold standard of comedy chaos. Tiffany Black (@tiffanyblackness) – Pure holiday hilarity in human form. Carla Delaney (@voicesbycarla) – The kind of voice work that makes you laugh even when you don’t want to. Ashley Bell (@ashleymichaelbell) – A scene-stealer who brings charm and mischief in equal measure. David Jacks – An actor who makes every moment count. ✨This isn’t your cookie-cutter holiday story. It’s raw, messy, ridiculously funny, and filled with just the right amount of holiday heart. Elevator Pitch: In Act 1 of The Jew Who Saved Christmas, you’ll laugh, cringe, and maybe even tear up a little as Bernie Gold stumbles her way through a Hanukkah-Christmas mashup of biblical proportions. With sharp dialogue, hilariously flawed characters, and just enough holiday magic to keep you guessing, this is the start of a holiday tale that’s anything but traditional—and we wouldn’t have it any other way.Big thanks to Mood.com our partner in high vibes. Use code TABLEREAD20 for 20% off at Mood.com. Legal THC & CBD. Nationwide. You’re welcome.Our Sponsors:* Check out Mood and use my code TABLEREAD for a great deal: https://mood.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

WHO KNEW CHRISTMAS NEEDED A JEW:By: Selyna Warren, Marissa Read, and Jason Currie BERNIE Wait. What’s happening?  SANTA Christmas feels different.  Something feels new.  The snow’s whiter, it’s so much brighter, and it’s all because of you know who… BERNIE Wait… are you talking about me? SANTA I’ve roasted all the chestnuts, killed all the Christmas geese! But it’s been so monotonous delivering world peace.  Suddenly through your eyes a brand new view. Who knew Christmas needed a jew? BERNIE  - ISH. We prefer jewish, but I think I get what’s going on here. Your next miracle is to be all Barbara and sing -  SANTA I’ve whistled all the carols that could ever have been sung. The chimneys I’ve been sliding down have given me black lung. BERNIE Wait, what? I’ve been sliding down chimneys ALL FRIGGEN NIGHT! SANTA Look! I know longer have the soot flu. Who knew Christmas needed a Jew? BERNIE Okay, if you think I’m gonna join you in some dorky little diddy then you are absolutely… correct! I’ve spent every Christmas eating chinese food alone. “The dark house on the block”, that’s what they used to call my home. But with you I thinkI’ve finally got my shot. Christmas neede a jew, who knew a jew needed Christmas?  Okay, sorry, I don't have like a magical weed given song gift. I can’t like improvise rhymes on the fly.  SANTA Ho ho …. that’s alright! I’ll bring all the jolly. BERNIE And I’ll bring all the oy! BOTH We fit together perfectly, BERNIE This Hebrew  SANTA and this goy! SANTA You lit up my yule-tide log and it’s - BOTH  - burning bright! BERNIE The sleigh is not the only thing that’s -  BOTH  - higher than a kite! A holly jolly mitzvah, yes it’s true! Who knew - BERNIE  - Christmas  SANTA Christmas  REINDEER Christmas  BOTH  - needed a you?Big thanks to Mood.com our partner in high vibes. Use code TABLEREAD20 for 20% off at Mood.com. Legal THC & CBD. Nationwide. You’re welcome.Our Sponsors:* Check out Mood and use my code TABLEREAD for a great deal: https://mood.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy