#SEXHAPPENS

About a year and a half ago, Lucas shared with me that he had broken the agreements we set during our time apart—a period we had intentionally created to find balance and gain clarity about the future of our relationship.This episode is an honest reflection on where we are now (recorded on May 3rd, 2025). We’ve anticipated sharing this conversation for a long time. We even tried recording it last September, but at the time, the topic was still too raw—filled with emotional triggers and uncertainty.One of the reasons we recorded this is to unpack the layers of shame that surfaced throughout the process—shame that felt like a Pandora’s box once opened. Another reason is to mark our growth, forgiveness, and the healing that’s taken root since.This episode isn’t a step-by-step guide to healing after infidelity. If you or someone you know is navigating something similar, I strongly encourage you to build a supportive network—friends, family, therapy, and other resources—to help hold you through the journey toward sustainable healing and growth.

In this episode, Danielle Herrera, LMFT, shares her personal and professional journey of decolonizing mental health. We are initiated into the intergenerational wisdom and trauma of our ancestors. Healing multiple generations of trauma is the duality of returning what's not ours, and allowing ourselves to be held in the relational and collective space of of something bigger - divinity, nature, and ancestry. Danielle speaks about an Arabic phrase from Islam, أَسْتَغْفِرُ ٱللَّٰهَ (Astaghfirullah) which signifies "seeking forgiveness from god;" A process of releasing and returning trauma to a higher power, which we may experience through the "initiation" of our ancestral trauma.

In this episode Dr. John Elfers shares his story of religious devotion and the difficulty he experienced in reconciling sexuality with spirituality. If sex is one of the most powerful connections we can make with the divine, why is it so common that our spirituality and religion leaves us feeling shameful, sinful, and impure? Dr. Elfers talks about his experience as a sex educator highlighting some of the challenges and misalignments we experience in adulthood which prevent the passing on of healthy beliefs and attitudes about sex to children.

Stephanie Estey, Co-Founder and Co-CEO of TBD Health shares her insight and journey to launching a sexual health clinic. "STD Testing without Judgment" is an accurate description of the people, the place, the services, and the vision for TBD Health. Operating in two physical clinics (Las Vegas, NV, and Denver, CO) and online in almost all 50 states, TBD Health offers safe, accurate, and discreet testing services for all folks. Stephanie shares her personal vision for the clinic as well as poignant examples of how destigmatizing sexual healthcare is critical. Check out TBD Health at TBD.health

Our special guest shares a very intimate story of early childhood sexual abuse. The episode contains themes of sexual abuse, physical violence, addiction, and infidelity. Our guest reflects on the continuous journey of healing that has brought her so much strength as a reclamation of her own power. She overcomes the hold of secrecy to seek therapy and support, ultimately becoming a therapist herself and inspiring others' healing along the way. Her story is one of resilience. If you or someone you know is experiencing intimate partner violence, we encourage you to seek support safely. The National Domestic Violence Hotline can be accessed at 1-800-799-7233, or by texting "BEGIN" to 88788.

Dr. Viviana Coles is a celebrity matchmaker, Doctor of Marriage and Family Therapy, Author, Speaker, and Intimacy Expert. In this episode Dr. Viviana addresses the important aspects of intimacy and sex, how they differ, and where we see successes and failures when navigating love and intimacy with others. Dr. Viviana shares about her own life, what lead her to sex and relationship therapy, and how lasting love is a lot of work, but worth it! Learn more about Dr. Viviana at www.doctorviviana.com where you can find her latest book, The Four Intimacy Styles.

In this episode we talk to Richard and Anna, the co-founders of The Alternative Sexualities Health Research Alliance (TASHRA) to understand the pervasive stigma and discrimination in finding health care as a kinky person. Richard and Anna share their enthusiasm for kink research as a combination of bringing a personal passion together with professional skill. TASHRA is actively recruiting research participants, and always collaborating with researchers on a global scale to help dismantle stigma and create equity and access when it comes to all things kink! You can get in touch at www.tashra.org

Dosipp is a dating app for people who have chronic or recurring STI's. In this episode we meet Anuk, the founder of the Dosipp dating app. Anuk shares her story of learning about her herpes diagnosis and how that inspired her to create a community where no one has to go alone through the shame and panic of receiving an STI diagnosis. To download the Dosipp app you can visit https://www.dosipp.nl/en or check it out on social media @dosipp

Judith Salamander is a sexological bodyworker and a somatic sex educator living and working in Berlin. Judith shares her experience of experimenting with BDSM before there were safe places to do so and how it shaped her life and work helping others explore pleasure and sexuality. In this podcast we'll also chat about the intricate complexity of culture, identity, safety, and expression when it comes to sex and our authentic selves.

Neil Mehta, CEO and Founder of Royal Intimacy shares his insights into the challenge of entering the sexual wellness space and creating a healthier condom. In this episode, we'll discuss the where his idea originated, barriers to manufacturing, heavily censored marketing, and building marketshare against the industry titans. We'll also discuss the growing need for educating and empowering customers to make informed decisions about their health. You can find Royal Intimacy on instagram @royalxintimacy and purchase products at www.alwaysberoyal.com.