If I Had Legs I'd Kick You: Everything Is Under Control

Charlie joins Caitlin to cover a heavy hitter in the horror genre: The Silence of the Lambs. It's a titan of cinema, and we love it... almost as much as we love doing impressions. We talk about gender and sexuality, and we, of course, dig into the background, details, and legacy of the movie. Tangents include: first horror movies, best shapes, irrational annoyances, toilet paper preferences, latest obsessions, stalkers, and the ol' long pig. And I must correct myself: haramuki is spring rolls; mukimame is shelled edmame.

Mary and Christian join Caitlin to review Obsession, the record-smashing (and face-smashing) new horror hit from director Curry Barker. We discuss autonomy, consent, rejection, and the danger of "the nice guy." #bearbad - you heard it here first. Tangents include: the pledege of allegiance, animal deaths in movies, first horror movies, annoyances, AI, the best shapes, toilet paper preferences (someone please take my side on this one), our latest obsessions, and obsessive relationship stories.

Soju from the Straight Chilling Podcast joins Caitlin to review Humanist Vampire Seeking Consenting Suicidal Person, a charming vampire movie from 2023. We discuss themes around coming of age, burgeoning sexuality, and empathy. This is a very sweet one; find it on Shudder. Tangents include: other podcast ideas, lost items, recurring nightmares, soju (the drink), comfortable shoes, and a good ol' FMK (creepy-crawly edition). 

Charlie joins Caitlin to cover Swallow, a fan favorite from 2019. We talk about themes around pica, motherhood, class, marriage, and abortion, and we praise the movie's writing and direction. It's a great one; find it on Shudder. Tangents include: Diet Coke, my garden, birds, clocks, swallowing things, bad haircuts, TV volume, instagram, and strange foods.

Victor and Jenna join Caitlin to discuss A24's If I Had Legs I'd Kick You, an excellent but stressful movie from 2025. We talk about monstrous-motherhood, ARFID, eating disorders treatment, and more. It's one we all enjoyed, and could very well be titled Distress Tolerance: The Movie. Tangents include: an ARFID soapbox, Richmond breakfast spots, movie theater experiences, and what we do when we're feeling down.

Rachel joins Caitlin to cover Jakob's Wife, the underseen Barbara Crampton vampire movie from 2021. This is a personal favorite of ours: it's feminist, it's funny, and it's Barbara Freaking Crampton. We discuss transformation, menopause, humor, Christian patriarchy, and more! Tangents include: forgetting to hit record, the Overlook Film Festival, recent horror watches, gold vs silver jewelry, steak, potatoes, The Pitt, card games, and board games.

Bob from the Straight Chilling Podcast joins Caitlin to cover 1990's shlockfest The Suckling, aka Sewage Baby. We talk about abortion, monsters, mothers, and more! Tangents include: the Overlook Film Festival, monstrous motherhood, LGBTQIA+ horror, a couple would-you-rather questions, scariest horror movies, Elijah Wood, shark movies, and music.

Charlie joins Caitlin to cover the show's first Kubrick review: Eyes Wide Shut from 1999. We dig into sex, conspiracy, and male fragility. It's a fun movie to talk about, and it certainly hits different in 2026, knowing what we do now. Tangents include: the one percent, hit movies of the 90s, ideal leaves, Scrubs, and cursive (and also Cursive). DQ something different.

Randy from Straight Chilling Podcast joins Caitlin to cover 2025's Together. We talk about enmeshment, resentment, and oneness, as well as body horror, special effects, casting, and sound design. It's one we were happy to root for! Tangents include: merging bodies, childhood fears, AI, and comforting sounds.

Rachel joins Caitlin to cover The Amityville Horror, a 1979 horror movie based on the true story of the Lutz family haunting following the DeFeo family murders. We talk about the supernatural power of a mother's love, patriarchal unraveling, menstruating real estate, the failure of the church, and more! If you're a fan of the 2005 version, we also comment on that one a fair amount. Tangents include: the Warrens, true crime, chopping wood, cats, evil locations, haunted houses, ghosts, paranormal experiences, favorite franchises, tote bags, t.A.T.u., The Bride, James Brolin vs Ryan Reynolds, sexual awakenings, and a good ol' FMK. Thanks to Jodie for inspiring this episode!