How Bad is the Apple? - Season 3/Episode 2

Sex. That three-letter word may have automatically captured your attention because it’s woven into so much of who we are and what we invest in our time in. Sex is everywhere…in our relationships, conversations, and the tv shows and movies that we call our favorites. That is just the tip of the iceberg. I’ve chosen to move Sex to the back of the closet and focus on other important things. This decision is the best decision I’ve ever made and if you’re curious about my choice, press play to hear more about my what, so what, and now what!

We’ve all heard the phrase, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you.” It’s believed by some and has become a life philosophy of many. In the traditional sense, those seven words convey that ignorance of a problem or a misdeed can prevent you from being unhappy or harmed by worrying about it. I became curious about what else it could mean and explored how what I didn’t know was actually hurting me. Hurt doesn’t always signify something dangerous or life-altering. The hurt we face can be as simple as the hurt we do to ourselves through our assumptions, judgments, defensiveness and disagreements with others. I recently had questions about my future and realized that what I didn’t know could have led me to a decision I would have regretted. What I do know now is what we don’t know can definitely hurt our ability to thrive now and well into the future.

Some of the most impactful insights come during those quick, one-on-one conversations with close friends and family members. I recently had one of those lightbulb moments after listening to a friend’s sour story about the patterns that are keeping her stuck in a cycle she doesn’t want to be in. Sometimes we only want to indulge in deep, long, and uplifting exchanges, but we have to make space for problematic patterns to be quickly voiced even if we’d rather have a longer and sweeter conversation. The biggest lessons are often birthed from short and sour conversations. What have you learned lately from your quick conversations?

Romantic LOVE can be complex! Sometimes it expands, sometimes it shrinks, and sometimes it disappears altogether as if it never existed. Romantic love doesn’t have to struggle through complexity. It can navigate through the high and lows, if we human beings, give it a strong foundation to stand upon, and we remain committed to keeping that foundation strong TOGETHER as a couple. Listen to the revelation, I had recently, about the three foundations that keep love thriving. Think about your current and past romantic relationships and see if they embodied these foundational elements. Is your current romantic relationship built on a foundation that can weather the storms of complexity or do you and your partner have some work to do?

Note: This episode is being published about 13 hours later than normal due to some unexpected glitches in the app used to record the podcast.The episode was recorded on location and the inspiration for it came from a conference I attended this week. What is the quality of your connections? Could they use some attention, nurturing, and energy? If forming healthy connections is a challenge, you’re in the right place.Press play to hear how we can create and strengthen our connections with a few intentional behaviors that let others know we value our relationships.

I celebrated my birthday three days ago and came to Chicago a couple days later to celebrate all that I’ve poured into myself and others over the past year. Coming to Chicago on or around my birthday has been my pattern for several years, but honoring the investments I’ve made in my growth and the growth of people around me is still somewhat new.I decided to take a look back at the past year of my life and focus on the time in between my birthday last year and this year. I did it in solitude and in a place and space that I’ve never visited alone. The time I spent there, looking back with gratitude, opened up a well in me that was yearning to be set free. What poured out reminded me that I am a channel of transformation, and I’ve got some big assignments ahead of me. No more excuses. I’m on a mission to be better, live better, do better and move beyond who I am and where I am between every birthday. Listen in to hear the epiphany I had about birthdays. It just might inspire you to see and understand them differently too and release an influential flow that starts with your own transformation.What’s your standard birthday behavior and what do you wish for yourself as you get one year older?

Have you thought or said these two words to anyone lately…”I’m bored?” If you have, then this episode was recorded with you in mind. There’s nothing wrong with being bored. It can happen from time to time, but when it becomes a pattern, it’s time to do some soul searching. I recently listened to a podcast focused on ways that we can avoid boredom, predictability and stagnation. I’m sharing some of what I learned from the podcast as well as some things you can do to go from boredom to thriving again in a Human Systems Dynamics type of way.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to live in a world of human beings that only exhibit healthy patterns? Unfortunately, that’s not our current reality. Even when we decide to transform patterns that don’t serve us and others well, we may still encounter human beings who choose to live and operate in unhealthy pattern prisons. Sometimes these individuals consciously and unconsciously invite us to spar and dance with them inside those captive spaces. In order to avoid becoming a pattern prisoner, you’ve got to first see that’s it’s happening and quickly journey into the process of understanding it. Gaslighting happens to be a wicked pattern prison and I recently found myself standing at its’ front door. Listen in to see and understand how I processed and handled that experience and figure out what you would have done differently.

It seems as though segments of the world are obsessed with working out for the purpose of fitting into their favorite pair of jeans or just to look good at an upcoming big event. There’s nothing wrong with any of that, but I wonder what other great excuses could we find for working out? Do we really need an excuse? What if you and I worked out regularly just because? What do you think would happen? If you’re as curious as I am about that question, press play and listen to what I’ve been shocked to discover about developing a pattern of working out. Thanks in advance for listening.

Familiarity is good. It helps us to feel comfortable and safe and in some ways may strengthen our confidence and self-esteem when the things we see, understand and influence become patterns that we know inside and out. In this episode, we’re taking a look at familiarity’s opposition - unfamiliarity. We’re talking about it in a Human Systems Dynamics kind of way, and I hope it helps you to feel better when you’re floating in unfamiliar territory.