Parenting Autism and ADHD

Discover my website, Books, YouTube channel, and more: https://helpanxiety.org/podcast In this episode I'm joined by Naomi Pegden, a craniosacral therapist, clinical massage practitioner and silent counselling practitioner, to talk about anxiety, overwhelm and the nervous system for neurodiverse people. Naomi shares her own experience of a brain that goes blank under pressure, a mistake-filled week that sent her spiralling, and the simple things that help her and her clients come back to the present. We also try some of it out together. Naomi guides us through a breathing exercise with a longer out-breath and an eye exercise to stimulate the vagus nerve, so you can try them yourself wherever you're listening. If you feel like your brain has too many tabs open, or you're hard on yourself when things go wrong, this one is for you. EPISODE REVEALS When pressure hits, the brain can go blank and take a lot of coaxing to come back online. Our bodies stay in fight or flight because the tiger has been replaced by an email or a boss wanting a chat, and that never-ending stress feeds brain fog and memory problems. Evidence of a link between ADHD and hypermobility is emerging.  Craniosacral therapy and silent counselling are very gentle ways to help the body let go of what it's holding on to, which helps lots of neurodiverse people. The five senses grounding exercise, box breathing and a longer out-breath all help to tell your brain that you're safe again, so you can break the cycle. Two mistakes in a day does not mean you're not coping. Everyone makes mistakes. Rephrase things in your mind, e.g. I made 2 mistakes, so what, nobody died or got injured, it is not a disaster. BEST MOMENTS "Acting normal, you're hiding what you are, so you're constantly wearing a mask, and that mask will slip, and it gets tiring, and that's that leads to burnout.” "The inner voice is horrendous. The best thing you can do is actually name it. Give it a stupid name." "Silent counselling just puts a little hole in the bottom of the bucket." "Just take a step back and breathe." ABOUT THE GUEST www.nptherapies.co.uk WhatsApp - 078 250 45420 RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   CONTACT ME Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cliff_kilmister08 X (Twitter): https://x.com/KilmisterCliff Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Discover my website, Books, YouTube channel, and more: ⁠https://helpanxiety.org/podcast In this episode I’m joined by returning guest Andy Baker and Eva to talk about entrepreneurship and finding a way of working and navigating the world that truly works for you. Andy shares his four-rooms model, that helps neurodivergent people to better understand how they, as an individual, respond to pressure, generate ideas, and taking action.  Using Andy's model will help you to determine what mental state you are in at any particular moment so that you can adjust things to better navigate that task or situation. Enabling you to stop yourself from becoming stuck in overwhelm, able to take full advantage of your creative and productive periods and get into those states more often. EPISODE REVEALS Self-employment can provide autonomy and boost creativity, but it also involves boundaries and accountability. For many people with ADHD, worry or pressure pushes them to enter alarm mode. A state where everything feels urgent which leads to rushing and making mistakes.  When they feel threatened many neurodiverse people withdraw. Entering the “cave room” in their mind, a state that can be difficult to emerge from. The "studio room" state is for ideas and planning; the "workshop room" state enables you to take action. Andy explains how to enter these productive "rooms" more often. Ask what your future self needs and try to respond with empathy rather than criticism. BEST MOMENTS "Everything's urgent. Everything's needs doing now - 1000 tabs open at the same time, multitasking all over the place, and generally struggling to be productive because you're too busy being busy." “It's not about beating you up. It's just about recognising where you are and which direction or what small step could I take to move me in the right direction” ABOUT THE GUEST https://www.andybaker.xyz/ https://www.able-training.co.uk/podcast/ https://www.able-training.co.uk/ Books – Targeting the positive - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Targeting-Positive-Behaviours-that-Challenge/dp/1839979003 The Momentum Room - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Momentum-Room-pressure-self-sabotage-high-performance/dp/1918283125 Previous episode with Andy Baker - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/beyond-labels-person-centred-support-for-every-child/id1810681675?i=1000729414484 RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   CONTACT ME Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cliff_kilmister08 X (Twitter): https://x.com/KilmisterCliff Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Discover my website, Books, YouTube channel, and more: ⁠https://helpanxiety.org/podcast If you’re a grandparent or family member supporting a neurodivergent young person, it can be hard to know what’s behind their behaviour, or how best to help. Today, we sit down with Jean Ramsay of Coaching for Schools, to talk about what she learned from a career in teaching. We cover how to look beyond behaviour and “get curious instead of furious,” and why focusing on strengths and taking the role of coach makes such a difference. Jean explains how to offer support through structure, visual reminders and providing time to process, while creating space for connection, confidence and fun. EPISODE REVEALS Neurodivergent young people aren’t choosing to struggle. Often, their behaviour is communicating that something else is going on. Get curious before reacting to their behaviour Start with acceptance. Focus on strengths, listen without judgement, and work with your grandchild, child or student to remove barriers. Routines, visual reminders and time to process all help.  The goal isn’t to make young people fit rigid expectations. It´s to provide them with the support they need to thrive as themselves. BEST MOMENTS "I think the fact that I found studying so difficult made me a really good teacher because I got the kids in the class who were struggling."   "Don’t get furious, get curious. So, what’s underneath that behaviour?" “If your grandchild is acting out what is underneath that, it could be that somebody started bullying them at school.” "Please just accept your neurodivergent young person. They’re not choosing it." How to work with Jean Ramsey ADHD & Education Coach Book a free 30 min discovery call: https://coachingforschools.com/free-30-minute-consultation/ Jean offers a 13 week  group coaching program for newly assessed ND families who are feeling overwhelmed, which is also available as a self-study course, or 1:2:1 coaching. Including training for grandparents and ADHD and EBSA training for schools Everything is available at www.coachingforschools.com Beginners’ Guide to ADHD - https://coachingforschools.com/understanding-adhd/ Parents’ Guide to EBSA - https://coachingforschools.com/parents-guide-to-ebsa/ You tube: https://www.youtube.com/@jeanramsey1250 https://www.linkedin.com/in/jeanramseycoach/ RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHDWhat to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR   CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   CONTACT ME Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cliff_kilmister08 X (Twitter): https://x.com/KilmisterCliff HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

If you regularly come home from work completely wiped out or spend the weekend worrying about a meeting on Monday, you are not alone, lots of neurodiverse people feel that way. Today,  sit down with Jodie Steele, the founder of NeuroTalks, to discuss why that happens and what you, your employers and others can do to solve this issue.   We cover why it isn’t usually the person who is struggling that needs fixing, burnout, masking, and psychological safety. As well as how a lack of clear communication leaves neurodivergent people feeling anxious and second guessing themselves. Jodie explains why how supportive managers can help people do well in the workplace by making often small, inexpensive changes – changes that benefit everyone. EPISODE REVEALS Workplace issues often stem from a lack of shared understanding, rather than bad intent. Managers may have had little training in neurodiversity, and employees may not know how to communicate their needs effectively. Clear communication eases anxiety e.g. explaining the purpose of a meeting gives people less room to worry about what might go wrong. Many neurodiverse people don´t disclose a disability or ask for adjustments. Often, they do not feel psychologically safe doing so. Small changes, often low cost, make a huge difference e.g. quiet spaces, regular breaks, flexibility around cameras in meetings and better communication. A company that supports neurodivergent employees automatically creates a workplace that is more supportive for everyone, improving productivity in the process. BEST MOMENTS "Some of the most intelligent people in the world have neurodivergence …There's a lot of superpowers that can be harnessed. So, I help create and guide employers to create high-performance work environments that don't burn staff out."   "When you improve the weakest part of the system, you improve the overall system."  "We are not talking about organisations spending a lot of money." EPISODE RESOURCES www.linkedin.com/in/jodie-steele/ www.neurotalks.co.uk www.alchemysoulstravel.com www.instagram.com/alchemy_souls_travel/ Free resources for managers and HR: https://neurotalks.co.uk/workbooks-resources/ Previous Jodie Steele episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/from-breakdown-to-breakthrough-overcoming-adhd-burnout/id1810681675?i=1000737332519 RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR   CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   CONTACT ME Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cliff_kilmister08 X (Twitter): https://x.com/KilmisterCliff https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Sarah Warley joins us to discuss her experience with appearing on Channel 4’s controversial documentary The Great ADHD Myth, including the last-minute title change, why so much of her contribution never made it into the programme, what was cut and the debate it sparked across the ADHD community. We talk about why diagnosis should be the start of the journey, not the end; possible links between the Moro reflex and sensory overwhelm; and how nutrition and other biological factors may influence symptoms. Sarah also shares practical ideas from her CARE framework, discusses medication alongside other approaches, and reflects on why neurodivergent strengths may matter even more in the age of AI. Sarah, founder of The Key Clinic, has spent more than a decade helping families explore evidence-based support. She knows that every person is different, and that understanding what’s behind that particular person´s difficulties is an effective way to move forward Whether you're a parent, neurodivergent yourself, or simply trying to understand ADHD better, this conversation is packed with practical ideas and hope. EPISODE REVEALS The debate around ADHD has started to become so polarised that the people actually living with neurodivergence are at risk of being lost in the middle. A diagnosis should be a starting point, not a verdict.  There are many potential underlying contributors that are worth investigating, including sensory sensitivities, retained reflexes, gut health related issues and nutrient imbalances. Neurodivergent brains have strengths e.g. creativity, the ability to think laterally and big-picture thinking. We need to get better at recognising and leveraging those strengths. Just because someone has a diagnosis doesn’t mean their difficulties are set in stone. The goal isn’t to change who they are, but to remove the barriers getting in their way. BEST MOMENTS “I thought, well, this is good. You know, we can talk about all those different things. That's not what happened. I mean, oh my goodness! At the 11th hour, they changed the name of it to the Great ADHD Myth.” "We're not trying to cure someone, we're not trying to fix someone, but we're trying to remove the bits that are getting in the way of them being able to be their best selves.” "Don't try and be perfectionist. Start with where you're at." ABOUT THE GUEST https://bebright.ai https://www.thekeyclinic.co.uk/ RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR   CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

In this fascinating episode, I’m joined by Chris Marsh, an ADHD specialist, root cause therapist and fellow neurodivergent thinker, for a deep conversation about ADHD, trauma, anxiety, productivity, healing and what it really means to be “normal.” We explore why so many neurodiverse people spend their lives feeling like they’re getting things wrong - particularly at school and work - and how years of negative feedback can create anxiety, people-pleasing, imposter syndrome and low self-worth.  We discuss procrastination, hyperfocus, creativity, meditation, hypnosis and the subconscious mind, including how Chris uses root-cause therapy to help people understand and change deeply embedded patterns. Before venturing into the spiritual side of things with past-life regression, shamanic healing, meditation experiences and cacao ceremonies. This is a conversation about finding ways to work with yourself rather than constantly fighting against yourself.  EPISODE REVEALS Procrastination isn’t laziness. It’s a natural signal that your fast-switching brain needs a timeout to clear gridlock and unlock creative flow. Root causes sit in the subconscious. Talking therapy rationalises experiences - real shifts happen at a subconscious level where protective fear patterns can finally be released. World-changing innovation comes from diverse thinking. Breakthroughs require someone to look at established wisdom, refuse to accept it, and obsessively hyperfocus on a new idea until they determine whether it works.  Meditation gives your brain the chance to reset. Hypnosis goes even deeper and Reiki can help your body as well as your brain to deeply reset. A neurodiverse brain isn't built for flatline productivity. Forcing a 9-to-5 output ignores how an ADHD mind works. Engaging the body with activities like running or gym work distracts the conscious mind, letting the subconscious untangle complex problems. BEST MOMENTS “It's only considered disordered because it doesn't fit in with the societal expectations”  “Find your way of doing stuff, your normal” "People are either in suffering or healing...until you make that choice it won´t work." “I fixed more problems running down the canal than I did sat at my desk” ABOUT THE GUEST linkedin.com/in/chris-marsh-7678b64 www.developlink.com email: [email protected] www.facebook.com/DevelopLinkwww.instagram.com/developlink_uk/ Helen Valentino episode - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/thriving-not-surviving-rsd-burnout-and-gentle-adhd/id1810681675?i=1000751281425&l=vi RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR   CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff at: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

In this episode I sit down with autism coach Sam Loprete to talk about growing up undiagnosed, feeling “odd but not sure why,” and only later discovering you have ADHD. We swap stories about childhood moments that were seen as shyness or bad behaviour, but were really signs of overwhelm, unclear rules, and needs no one thought of.  Sam explains how simple curiosity from others in your life at the right time can change everything, and why being truly listened to is so powerful for autistic adults. We also look at masking as a choice rather than a rule and share practical ways to catch harsh self-talk and replace it with kinder, more accurate thoughts, for yourself or for your child.   EPISODE REVEALS You’re not broken; there are reasons for your behaviour. Overwhelm, unclear rules, or your social battery running low often explains shutdown or odd behaviour. Having someone who is calm, curious, and non-judgmental to listen to you help you untangle your thoughts and identify what really matters for you makes a huge difference.   When your brain is being mean and attacking you, gently challenge it instead of letting it run the show.   Think about when masking genuinely helps you and when it costs too much energy. Masking is exhausting so deciding whether to continue to use it and in what circumstances helps. Do your best to meet others halfway to help close the communication gap. But be honest about how much bandwidth you have and remember that it won’t always work perfectly (and that’s okay). BEST MOMENTS “I spent a lot of time needlessly hating myself or not understanding what was happening.” “Thank your brain - it may not feel like it, but your brain is trying to keep you safe.” “You can't do it when the meltdown or the shutdown is in place. You've got to strike while the iron's cold." ABOUT THE GUEST Sam Loprete  helps autistic adults and chronic overthinkers sort through too many thoughts, find the issue that actually matters, and choose a next move that makes sense to them.  You can bring him any decision, conflict, problem, or mental pile without organizing it first; Sam listens closely, asks direct questions, reflects patterns, and helps you separate facts from fears, assumptions, values, and expectations.  He doesn’t diagnose or tell you how to live. Sam works with autistic you in a flexible, collaborative way, adjusting to fit how your mind works. [email protected] https://calendly.com/samloprete10792/free-1-hour-discovery-call RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR   CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Today, I sit down with learning disabilities dementia nurse and trainer Niall Arraglen, who shares what he’s learned from life inside a neurodiverse civil partnership with his AuDHD partner, Julia. From late ADHD diagnosis and the impact perimenopause/menopause has on ADHD and Autism to time blindness, noise, tidiness, and emotional bandwidth, Niall opens up about the real, everyday relationship dynamics behind the labels. Together, we explore how partners can move from frustration to understanding and patience using self-reflection, and practical tweaks. If you love, live with, or support someone who’s neurodivergent, or you are yourself neurodivergent, this honest conversation will provide insights that help you to feel seen, less alone, and empowered. EPISODE REVEALS In mixed neurodiverse, neurotypical relationships both partners need to be aware of their behaviour patterns and why they act the way they do and to be willing to work at changing what they can.  Understand and accept that there are some things your neurodiverse partner cannot change. Find gentle ways to adapt to and accommodate those things. Tailor the way the family works to play to each other’s strengths. For example, if one of you is obsessively tidy but doesn’t see dirt, they keep the home tidy, while you clean. Don’t be resentful about the accommodations you make for your partner’s neurodivergence or the adaptations you make or your neurotypical partner. Instead, see learning to be patient, adaptable and accepting as an opportunity to grow personally.  ADHD and Autism symptoms and your ability to adapt and cope with them can evolve. In particular, during menopause or perimenopause or with HRT treatment. Be aware of this, so you can recognise big changes and adapt quickly. BEST MOMENTS "Just because I can't explain how Julia's brain works doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with it."  "Our partners with ADHD might not always have the energy or the attention to show up in the relationship like we expect them to." "There are times where we need to care for ourselves so that we can care better for each other down the line." "Labelling is really useful because once you know what you can then figure out how why and come up with different ways of connecting with your partner and understanding." ABOUT THE GUEST https://www.arraglen.com/ RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR   CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

In this episode I sit down with Christina Forster, a nurse, mum of five including two with autism and one with a fitting condition. She is the co‑creator of the ADHDump app which was born the day her husband realised he could no longer cope with driving to work with his head full of tasks he hadn´t done and knew he would never remember to do. For neurodivergent adults who feel like life is one long string of “I’ll do it later”, ADHDump turns car-thoughts, passing worries and random to-dos into one spoken brain dump that resurfaces twice a day in calm 8am / 8pm check-ins you can actually act on. For partners who’ve quietly become the executive function for every member of the family, shifting tasks into the app – scanning letters, breaking rooms into tiny steps, pushing deadlines into calendars – means you no longer have to think for everyone just to keep the wheels on. EPISODE REVEALS In ADHD households, one partner can end up carrying the executive function for everyone - appointments, finding things and keeping the family on track. Over time, that load often becomes too much. ADHD overwhelm snowballs quickly. Losing your keys can mean being late, forgetting everything else, doom scrolling, snapping and ending the day with guilt. Just trying harder does not work with ADHD. Using tools to get things out of your head, stored safely with a summary reminder of your tasks delivered only twice a day, does work. No more notes you forget to look at. Saying things out loud for the app to capture enables you to catch thoughts before they disappear. Big jobs feel easier when broken into steps e.g. make the bed, pick up the clothes, tick it off, move on. Show the app the job and let it give you the steps and checklist. Brain-dumping as things happen improves therapy outcomes. You share your real examples and patterns with your therapist instead of your highly flawed recollection of what happens to you. BEST MOMENTS "Without the app, other people might struggle … that could lead to, and probably has, divorce separations. Because the partner just can't continue to be the executive function, because of the load."   "Take some time before rushing in." "Maybe today it seems hard, but you'll get through. Tomorrow's coming. Tomorrow's another day." "Don't try to think you have to do everything. Everybody has a strength." ABOUT THE GUEST https://adhdump.com.au/ https://apps.apple.com/au/app/adhdump/id6760986953 https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=au.com.adhdump&pcampaignid=web_share RESOURCES Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR   CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/

Neurodiversity doesn’t just show up in diagnoses - it shows up in “wrong” spoons, cupboards you can’t keep tidy, shouting “will you shut up” in class when the noise is too much, and sitting on your phone at parties because you can’t face small talk.   In this episode, Eva and I share how ADHD and autism really feel in day‑to‑day life: popcorn reading that feels like torture, rereading the same line over and over, forgetting to turn the oven off for hours, racing through shops to escape the crowds, and struggling with interviews and eye contact even when you’re more than capable.   If you’ve ever come home completely wiped out from normal social stuff or wondered why your child can talk nonstop about their special interests but forgets everything else, this episode will help you feel seen and understood. EPISODE REVEALS Neurodiversity often shows up in tiny details that look silly to others. For example, a spoon that is too heavy, the wrong shape or sounds wrong if it touches your teeth. Those micro‑sensory experiences can shape your whole day.   Forgetting to turn the oven off, leaving doors open for now reason and struggling to keep cupboards organised aren’t laziness. They are examples of how ADHD/autistic brains juggle (and drop) multiple tasks at once.   Popcorn reading, noisy classrooms and group support sessions can be genuinely distressing for someone who is neurodiverse even for chatty or confident kids who seem fine on the outside.   Parties, shops, and boot fairs can swing from fun to unbearable in seconds.  Hiding behind your phone or snapping “shut up!” are often signs of overload, rather than bad behaviour.   Writing things down, moving your body e.g. stimming and leaning into special interests can all help soothe looping thoughts and social anxiety. BEST MOMENTS "You're neurodiverse, and you can turn anything into a stimming tool."   "Make notes…. park it on that page and get it out of your brain." "If I'm overstimulated, it's not just my problem. It's now everyone's." "My brain has auditory processing issues. I only hear bits of a sentence sometimes" RESOURCES Evas channel: https://youtube.com/shorts/vX4xOtMG95w?si=uqWJ-TF8zzWrRMIS Famisafe Parental control App Link: https://wondersharesoftware.pxf.io/ParentingAUDHD My new sci fi book:  https://amzn.eu/d/03OVCuJN Multiverse Vortex: The Mandela Effect Book 2 – Sci-Fi Thriller of Time Travel and Survival in Parallel Worlds (The Mandela Effect Series) What to Do When Your Child Shuts Down: Real-World Parenting Strategies for Neurodivergent Kids Who Shut Down, Refuse School, or Just Stop communicating with you: https://amzn.eu/d/0fBIfbhR   CLIFF´S SERVICES Are you struggling with anxiety and want support from someone who has been there and come out the other side? - Message Cliff here and take advantage of his founding members offer: https://m.me/cliff.kilmister   CONTACT ME Instagram: @cliff_kilmister08 Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/cliff.kilmister X - @KilmisterCliff YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@ParentingAutismandADHD HOST BIO Cliff Kilmister is a dedicated parent, advocate, and cat whisperer with firsthand experience raising a child with autism, ADHD, and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). Having navigated the challenges of school refusal, meltdowns, and sensory sensitivities, Cliff brings an empathetic, real-world perspective to the podcast. When he's not helping his child thrive, he’s dodging the evil stares of his three cats, who are plotting to take over the world (fortunately, they still haven’t figured out how to use the tin opener). Cliff offers practical advice, expert insights, and personal stories to help families facing similar struggles. Cliff is focused on connecting with professionals and networks to raise awareness about the growing need for the education system to adapt to the increasing neurodiverse population. Join the community on Patreon to share experiences, access exclusive content, and work together for change! This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/