Ep. 129: Grief in Parenting

Parenting a child with big, baffling behaviors can feel terrifying sometimes. Especially when those behaviors aren’t just frustrating… they’re dangerous. In this episode, I’m talking with a parent who knows that reality deeply, and who is also finding a way to hold onto hope.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why seeing your child as “good” doesn’t mean ignoring serious or dangerous behaviorHow one parent stays steady even when others say, “This child isn’t worth it.”What actually helps behavior change (hint: it’s not punishment, but it’s not the absence of accountability either)Resources mentioned in this podcast:Resources included in the blog summary go hereRead the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/holdinghopeLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What if the biggest barrier to learning in the classroom isn’t behavior… but safety?Teachers are overwhelmed. Kids are dysregulated. And somewhere in the middle, everyone is trying their best…but it’s not working the way we hoped. In this conversation, I sit down with occupational therapist Marti Smith and educator Amie Huggins to talk about what happens when we bring relational neuroscience into the classroom in real, practical ways.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why behavior in the classroom makes more sense when we see it as communication, not defianceHow connection, co-regulation, and felt safety actually support learning (not compete with it)Simple, realistic ways teachers can meet sensory and relational needs—even with a full classroomResources mentioned in this podcast:GET - The Connected TherapistGET -Creating a Connected ClassroomRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/connectedclassroomLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

When your kid melts down after school, it seems like they just have a bad attitude or don’t want to do homework. But sometimes those explosions have less to do with behavior and more to do with a nervous system that has been working hard to handle sensory stress all day long.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why do many kids fall apart after school, even if they seemed “fine” all dayHow the sensory environment at school can slowly chip away at a child’s regulationWhy after-school meltdowns often happen with the people kids feel safest withResources mentioned in this podcast:RobynGobbel.com/freeresourcehubRobyngobbel.com/sensorywebinarRead the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/meltdownafterschoolLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Have you ever had one of those moments where your child completely loses it over the wrong cup, a sibling getting too close, or one tiny thing at the end of the day? It can feel like they are actually mad at you- or their sibling. But actually, rude, defiant, or shutdown behavior might actually have a lot more to do with sensory overwhelm and a nervous system that’s simply run out of capacity and almost NOTHING to do with how mad they are because you gave them the wrong cup. In this episode, you’ll learn:Why behaviors like sass, sibling aggression, and “you never listen!” can look relational but actually begin with sensory stress in the bodyHow everyday sensory input like noise, lights, smells, textures, movement, and school environments can chip away at your child’s window of tolerance?Why noticing your child’s sensory world can help you respond with more clarity, less personalization, and more support for regulationResources mentioned in this podcast:When Parenting Triggers Your Own Trauma Part 1 of 6 {EP 250}Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior {EP 84}Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior webinar & eBookRead the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/traumashapednervoussystemLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

The Grief No One Talks About in Trauma-Informed ParentingSometimes the hardest part of parenting isn’t your child’s behavior, it’s the grief that rises up inside you. The grief of not getting what you needed. The grief of still healing while you’re trying to parent intentionally. In this episode, we talk about the quiet, complicated grief that can come with parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system when you have your own history of trauma.In this episode, you’ll learn:The core griefs that often emerge when you’re parenting with your own trauma historyWhy noticing intergenerational patterns can stir shameHow to be with your grief using self-compassion and a gentle “touch in, touch out” approachResources mentioned in this podcast:Podcast - Start Here!When Parenting Triggers Your Own Trauma: Part 1 of 6 {Ep 250}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/grieftraumahistoryLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This episode is an update and re-record of episode 56Consequences. Punishments. Limits. Boundaries.These words don't mean the same thing but we often use them interchangeably.In this episode, we get clear on what exactly is a consequence versus a punishment versus a boundary.And how parenting through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety is absolutely not boundary-less or permissive parenting. It's a way of looking at our kids and asking "What does my child need for their success to be inevitable?" and then giving them that.It definitely isn't about making sure our kids are always happy or never frustrated or we always say yes.It's about changing the lens on how we view their expressions of emotions and behaviors.And yes- it's about setting boundaries that keep our kids safe and help their brains develop the internalized co-regulation (self-regulation!) they need!Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/WhatAboutAConsequenceLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

If you’re parenting a child with a vulnerable nervous system when you have your own history of trauma, you know that sometimes your reaction isn’t really about what’s happening in front of you; it’s about what’s happened before. In this episode, we’re talking about how to gently uncover what might be going on when you have a huge stress response to a stressor that didn’t quite need an attack-level watchdog response.In this episode, you’ll learn:What a trigger actually is (and why it doesn’t feel like one in the moment)How to tell if your nervous system is reacting to now… or something olderA simple step-by-step process to uncover and care for the belief driving your reactionIf you’re ready to go deeper into this work, the full Trigger Hunting masterclass is inside The Club.Resources mentioned in this podcast:Trauma, Memory, & Behavior: Part 1 {EP 90}What a Trigger REALLY Is {EP 223}Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/parenttraumatriggersLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This is a re-record of a foundation episode, episode 94The Stress Response System plays a huge role in our children's behaviors and also how we perceive those behaviors.In this episode, you’ll learn:What stress is and how to differentiate good stress from bad stressThe impact of trauma and toxic stress to the Stress Response SystemHow to build resilience in a sensitized Stress Response SystemA reframe to shift your own Stress Response System Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Content note: This episode discusses trauma, nervous system activation, and protective responses such as shutdown, dissociation, anger, and urgency. There are no graphic details, but please take care while listening.If you have a history of trauma, your watchdog and possum parts have likely been working hard for a long time. And when you’re parenting a child with big baffling behaviors, those protectors can get loud.In this episode, we draw inspiration from Dan Siegel’s work to explore what it means to be with your watchdog and possum without becoming them. This isn’t about silencing your protectors. It’s about building a relationship with them.In this episode, you’ll learn:How state integration allows you to notice your watchdog and possum parts without fusing with themWhy curiosity and compassion widen your window of tolerance more effectively than control or self-criticismHow caring for your protective parts begins with awareness, gratitude, and understanding what they needResources mentioned in this podcast:Free Resources Hub!Robyngobbel.com/webinarRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/caringforyourownLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

This is a re-record of a foundation episode, episode 7The brain has two modes- connection or protection.Protective behaviors include opposition, defiance, aggression- basically, any behavior that doesn't invite connection.If we want to help shift our children's oppositional behaviors, we must first help their brain shift out of protection and into protection!You can read more on my blog: robyngobbel.com/connectionorprotection/Resources mentioned on the podcast:Match the Energy Not the Dysregulation ep 155Felt Safety Series- starts at ep 161Boundaries Series starts at ep 111Oppositional Behavior Series starts at 156All Behavior Makes Sense ep 198Focus on the Nervous System webinarLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)