Our Fake History

In 1592 the Japanese launched a massive invasion of the Korean Peninsula. The Japanese leader Toyotomi Hideyoshi believed that Korea would submit without much of a fight and that his army would very quickly move on to the real target, the capital of Ming China. Six years later the Japanese were still fighting in Korea. What the Koreans call the Imjin War has recently been redubbed the Great East Asian War by scholars in recognition of it's truly massive scope. Based on the sheer number of soldiers involved this was the largest war fought anywhere in the word in the 1500's. But despite that this conflict has remained relatively obscure outside of Korea. Why? Tune-in and find out how eager to please sandal-bearers, Huck Finn, and the most convoluted title for a leader in history all play a role in the story.

For this throwback Sebastian takes you all the way back to a first season favorite. Ninjas, Japan’s shadow warriors, have been a pop-culture staple for generations. The legend of the ninjas has become so overblown, that some have gone so far to suggest that they never truly existed. But that is just what the ninjas want us to believe! The ninjas were very real, and they played a pivotal role in Japan’s “warring states period”. Nevertheless, separating ninja-fact from ninja-fiction continues to be a tall order. Listen and find out how medieval water noodles, puppet emperors, toilet warriors, and Seb’s horrific pronunciation of Japanese names all fit into the story!

Our Fake History celebrates 200 episodes by opening up the phonelines and taking calls from listeners and past guests. Fans from all over the world pose questions and queries and Sebastian does his best to answer thoughtfully. How does Sebastian choose his sources? Which historical figure would he transport here "Bill and Ted" style? Did pirates really have treasure maps? Is there such a thing as objective truth? Tune-in and find out how Achilles numbers, time capsules, and a lot of "long time listeners first time callers" all play a role in the story.

There are few Christian saints more misunderstood than St. Patrick. Ireland’s patron saint is best known for driving the snakes off the island, but that isn’t even close to the most interesting thing about him. Both the legend of St. Patrick and the details of his real life have been poorly remembered. Driving the snakes out of Ireland is nothing compared to the wizard duels described in the medieval sources. Have we completely missed the boat on what makes St. Patrick worth remembering? Tune-in and find out how poisoned wine, miracle pigs, and demon fossils all play a role in the story.

The attempted invasion of England in 1588 was doomed even before the first ship left harbor. The Spanish plan was fatally flawed and pretty much every commander knew it. The plan was audacious, but it was also weirdly vague. The Spanish also made a fateful choice when they entered the English channel that essential ensured that the English would have a tactical advantage during the entire encounter. King Phillip II may have constructed the largest fleet in Atlantic history, but was England ever really in danger? Tune-in and find out how the maritime high-ground, singeing the King's beard, and a doomed English Armada all play a role in the story.

In 1588 King Phillip II of Spain constructed the largest fleet ever seen on the Atlantic in attempt to invade England. This attempt famously flopped. At the time this was celebrated as an English triumph in the face of impossible odds, and over the centuries English historians echoed this Elizabethan propaganda. This led to some in the Victorian era declaring that the defeat of the Armada had been one of the most pivotal moments in the history of the world. However, more recently the scholarly view of this event has changed. Has the reputation of the Spanish Armada been grossly inflated by patriotic myths? Tune-in and find out how fake milkmen, English pirates, and good old fashioned pluck all play a role in the story.

In this throwback episode Sebastian takes you all the way back to the very first episode of OFH ever released. Queen Elizabeth I is easily one of England’s most celebrated monarchs. The so-called “virgin queen” has been credited with leading England through a golden age. However, she is also the subject of countless historical myths and conspiracy theories. This week we unpack the scandalous tale that Queen Elizabeth was actually an impostor in drag. Listen and find out how King Henry VIII, Dracula, Catherine the Great’s horse, and an unlucky kid named Neville all figure in the story!

The reign of the Emperor Caligula has been presented as a cavalcade of bizarre and violent behavior. From declaring war on the ocean to building a five kilometer floating bridge so he could ride his horse over the sea, many of the most infamous stories about the emperor emphasize his mania. However, many of the most upsetting tales about Caligula are likely not true. One of the only eye-witness accounts of the emperor in action present him as arrogant, but hardly insane. If the worst stories about Caligula are fabrications, then why was he so hated? Tune-in and find out how shame trophies, Alexander the Great's breast plate, and vulgar displays of power all play a role in the story.

When the Emperor Gaius, better known as Caligula, was first elevated to the role of Princeps things seemed promising. He sought to repair the relationship with the Senate damaged by his predecessor, Tiberius. He ended the former emperor's much abused treason trials. He invested in building projects, public infrastructure, and large entertaining spectacles. It seemed like he was trying to follow the model set by the first emperor Augustus. But, then at some point in his reign things changed. Before long Caligula would find himself at war with the men of the Senate. What caused this sudden shift in Caligula's temperament? Tune-in and find out how island orgies, political magic shows, and a dinner with a horse all play a role in the story.

The Roman Emperor Gaius, better known by his childhood nickname Caligula, is often counted among the worst rulers in the history of the world. According to some ancient sources his tumultuous four year reign was defined by wonton cruelty, sadistic sexual excess, and unchecked bloodlust. However, the ancient writers that tell us these tales are among the most untrustworthy sources from the Roman period. Was Caligula truly a monster, or has an unsuccessful emperor been transformed into an historically evil character by scandal obsessed historians? Tune-in and find out how Roger Ebert, George Constanza, and Grandpa's custom muscle car all play a role in the story.