Our Defining Moments

In today’s episode, we’re joined by Dave Buck. He’s an MBA, master-certified coach, and the CEO of CoachVille. To date, he has around 36,000 members in over 70 countries. He collaborated with Thomas Leonard, the founding father of professional life and business coaching, and was named the 7th most influential person in personal coaching. He is known for his great diversity and strength. Dave grew up in a small town called Freehold, New Jersey. During his childhood, his family was very church oriented and at the age of 12, his dad ran into a great deal of stress and seemingly had a breakdown. His Dad renewed himself in the eyes of the Lord and began to preach to Dave. However, Dave and his father had different views. Dave believed that the bible and the main character in it was not God, and openly expressed his beliefs, resulting in Dave’s dad shunning him. Although his family stayed intact, the difference in opinion put stress on them all. A short time later, Dave got his first glimpse of soccer and became intrigued. He made an effort to play and learn the game. Ultimately, this intrigue triggered a defining moment for him. He realized that if he just looked, he could learn indefinitely. The path of choosing for himself and discovering who he is, influenced the type of transformational coach that Dave became. He constantly searches for answers. While coaching, he remains judgment-free and practices awareness. He’s open to ideas while allowing others to believe in what they choose. These days, he’s working on a book called “You Were Born Awesome” in hopes of inspiring others. Connect with Coach Dave: https://coachville.com/connect/ceo-dave-buck/ Sponsored by: https://www.takepassagecoaching.com/

Today we’re joined by guest Jen Ruddy. Jen shares a little bit about who she is and where she’s at in her life now, before jumping into discussing her defining moment: the moment when she decided to no longer speak to her mother at the age of 34. This decision was made after a weekend visit with her mom. They were all on the way to a national park with her mom trailing behind, who ended up getting lost on the way. She was in hysterics when she arrived, convinced that losing her along the way was purposeful. This was when Jen knew she couldn’t take it anymore. Jen’s mom does have her own share of trauma and Jen believes she likely chose to have kids to uplift her and encourage her self-esteem. The role of her kids in her life was always to agree with her. If she didn’t get the exact compliment she wanted, all of her kids would get in trouble. Additionally, she always wanted perfectly beautiful, skinny kids. This behavior was difficult to endure. Another person Jen had to cut off completely was her first husband. When he tripped her during an outing on purpose, she decided she was done. We often feel like we need to suffer when this isn’t really the case. You have to find the courage you need to move on. Over the years, Jen has decided to focus more on enjoying her life and healing her trauma. Making tough decisions has been helpful not just for Jen, but for her family as well. It’s okay to do what is necessary for you to feel safe.

Today’s guest was a high school dropout at 16, a college graduate at 20, and a single mom at 30. She’s been a cook for a broke orchestra, an SEO expert, a yoga teacher, a welder, and so much more. C. Jane Taylor is also the author of the book “Spirit Traffic: A Mother’s Journey of Self-Discovery and Letting Go”. Jane Taylor has had such a rich variety of experiences in the work she’s done. So, what do welding and cake-making have in common? Well, they’re both structural in nature. However, she isn’t too concerned about a common thread between her career choices—she’s just a natural learner who’s drawn to discovering new things. She also has a passion for motorcycles, which started when she was a kid. Her mother owned a motorcycle shop, and the mechanics there became her babysitters. They were scary-looking, scar-faced rebels who looked after her. While she rode as a child, she hadn’t for a long time until she got her own bike at 50 years old. Spirit Traffic is about the epic cross-country motorcycle trip she took. Getting down her driveway on that motorcycle is C. Jane Taylor’s defining moment. It felt like entering a new world—a world where she could go anywhere. It made her realize she could do anything, which would turn out to be the catalyst behind her writing her book. At that moment, her perception of herself changed. She accomplished something she wasn’t sure she was capable of. There were so many times she sat at the top of the driveway, too afraid to head down the hill. But at that moment, she found it within herself to continue.

Do you think in a non-linear, non-sequential, atypical way? If your thought path to a solution is a windy one, you’ll relate to today’s guest, Perry Knoppert. Perry founded the Octopus Movement, a movement driving the acceptance and awareness of the incredible abilities of atypical thinkers. Non-linear thinking can also be described as multipotentiality. Perry decided to name his movement “The Octopus Movement” primarily because it’s easier to say than multipotentiality. In addition, the octopus also represents a curious misfit who thinks outside the box. Perry’s defining moment happened when he was homeless, unable to see his kids, and without his furniture, books, and other cherished items. Standing in the middle of his girlfriend's living room, he looked outside. He said to his girlfriend “it’s clear to me”, and although at the time he didn’t know exactly what he was referring to, this was the moment he accepted his own neurodiversity. The expectations set on him by the outside world couldn’t fit him because he was lying to himself. He felt everything in his life was going wrong, even though his intentions were good. He realized he doesn’t fit into the linear world because he’s wired differently—and that’s okay. It’s important for companies across industries to understand and appreciate non-linear thinking. Atypical thinkers have a tendency to thrive in dynamic circumstances and are able to adapt through the introduction of new ideas. If you want to hire neurodivergent people, consider your unwritten rules and how you can let them go. This could open the door of potential for creative thinkers everywhere.

In this episode, we’re joined by Candace, a Rochester, New York woman. She moved a lot in her youth but eventually settled in Vermont where she started her business as a hairstylist. She’s been running her business for 10 years now. Candace’s defining moment was one of the rawest moments of her life—the moment she decided to leave her husband. When she got married, she was certain that “making it” was a matter of determination. Looking back, she realizes this perspective came from a place of judgment. Before separating, she had been arguing with her husband for some time. This arguing had escalated into verbal abuse. She knew staying was no longer an option, especially if she wanted to have respect for herself and for her family. One thing that surprised her after she left her husband was how very few people reached out to her. In the beginning, it was incredibly difficult. She was with her husband for 27 years. It took a huge adjustment and about six months for her to feel like she was on her feet again. Since their divorce, she has gone without contact with her husband. She’s allowing her children to navigate their relationship with their dad independently of her. So, how do you know when it’s time to leave your marriage? Check your boundaries. If your boundaries are getting fuzzy, or they are being pushed, it might be an indication you need to move on. Check your head, check your finances, and wherever you are, make sure you feel safe and well.

In this episode, social media expert Nichole Howson opens up about her battle with bipolar disorder and how it led her to attempt suicide multiple times. She shares her story in the hopes of helping others who may be struggling with mental health issues. Nichole highlights the importance of seeking help and getting proper treatment, as well as the importance of having a support system.

On this episode of Our Defining Moments, we’re joined by Alexsys Thompson. She is the author of “The Power of a Graceful Leader,” which was featured by Entrepreneur magazine as one of the best new leadership books in 2021. Alexsys is also an executive integration coach and a member of the Forbes Coaches Council—just to name a few of the other things she does. Her work is guided by her mission to create a safe space for souls to show up. Over the past decade, she’s been focusing more on who she is and what that brings to the world, rather than being defined by her work. She’s committed to her continued evolution as a human being and learning how to approach the world with love and joy. In 1998, Alexsys was working with Child Watch of North America. She joined this organization from a place of being a young mom looking to create safety in herself. It wasn’t long before she found herself working up the ranks which is where she was first introduced to trauma and PTSD, with the parents she worked alongside and to some degree within herself. Alexsys’ defining moment came while she was working on a particular case where a mother’s three children were taken. The father was suspected to have taken them to another country. In her second meeting with the mother, she looked Alexsys in the eyes and said “I know you’re the one who’s going to help me get these girls back”. She looked at her and responded, “yeah, we are going to do that”. This moment would test Alexsys’ determination and fortitude, and along the way she would lay the foundation for tools and strategies she still uses today. This defining moment taught her whom she needed to be: a voice for those who need a greater echo in the chamber. You don’t need a lot of people to instigate change. You just need the right energy exchange to initiate it.

Prolific collage artist Madcollage is our guest in today’s episode. Madcollage grew up in Madrid and has a lot of wonderful memories of the city, especially warm memories with her father. However, there were also times she remembers that were not idyllic, as there was quite a bit of conflict within the family. From a young age, she didn’t feel like she fit in. She acknowledged early on she had a different way of expressing how she feels. She was always a maker, creating and dismantling whatever she could to find out how and why things worked. It’s perfectly fitting that she turned to create collages as a creative outlet. Often, we don’t recognize our defining moments until they have passed. These memories that stick with you can end up being defining moments. Madcollage believes we can have many of these moments, but the one she has chosen to share today is a hopeful moment. Despite the pain, fear, and difficulty she faced daily, she decided to launch Madcollage as a business endeavor. From this point on, it became something more than what existed for her own benefit. She took all her trauma and transformed it into something that could have a positive impact on others. Our brains have a negative bias, which gets activated when we are stressed. Madcollage actively and intentionally runs away from this negativity and focuses on her art. The harder the chronic pain in her body resisted creating this business, the harder she fought against it. This resistance wasn’t—and isn’t—stronger than her love for art. It can be tough to see what’s right in front of you if you're dealing with pain. Accessing a creative outlet can help you see what’s beyond your chronic pain.

On this episode of Our Defining Moments, we’re joined by Kassia Golden. At a very young age, Kassia thought being a nurse was her life calling​​—but the Universe had other plans in store for her. She was born in Germany and moved back and forth from there to various places in the United States for many years. In 2010, Kassia was living the “white picket fence” life. She had a certain level of control over her life and was ready to start her new job as a nurse’s assistant in Vermont when she came down with meningitis. Due to external circumstances, she came out and was not only sick as can be, but also homeless. One day soon after, she was walking across the street. Due to her illness, she wasn’t able to move very quickly. This small moment led to some pivotal changes in thinking for Kassia. She started wondering what role she played to get herself into this situation: sick, homeless, and not feeling like the same successful woman she had always been. She decided to overdose on pills with a plan to exit the world. It should have killed her, but it didn’t. As the medication wore off, she realized something big had shifted in her life: she came back with the gift of seeing. Kassia now channels this gift into her work of providing intuitive guidance. She has an unfiltered and loving approach to empowering profound transformation. She works with businesses, families, and with individuals. Kassia doesn’t feel it’s her job to push what she knows on her clients; it’s her job to simply open the door with the knowledge she has for her clients and allow them to ask questions.

Today’s guest is long-time amateur cyclist Roxy B. Roxy has competed in gravel racing, mountain biking, and more. She’s also an Iraq War Veteran and Trans Woman. Roxy knew she was a woman since she was 11. In her youth, she felt wanting to have a woman’s body was normal for boys. As she got older, she realized her experience was different than that of her peers. As a teen, Roxy wished she had the resources to change her life—to move away, get surgery, and live the life she truly wanted. She came out to her high school girlfriend and was rejected. Lacking professional prospects, Roxy decided to join the army. Eventually, she landed a secure job at the University of Vermont and met her wife. This stability gave her the confidence to meet her defining moment: fully transitioning. The first thing Roxy did was approach her wife, and she expressed her desire to live as herself. Roxy stopped asking for permission to be herself, although it’s been difficult navigating her relationships with the most important people in her life. Still, she has found a new friend group, and this has allowed her to reach out and make new connections. Roxy is still working through the emotions of her old life, but as they resurface she is coming to accept and work through them. One thing she’s done is been very open about the surgeries she’s had done. Roxy emphasizes you don’t need to have surgery to identify as trans or express your true self. Her only aim in sharing is to be open so she can be an example for those who need it. Roxy has done a lot of untangling to embrace her authenticity, and she finally realizes how brave she really is. Roxy is now on her way to becoming everything she’s needed. As hard as it’s been, there’s no going back. Life isn’t perfect for Roxy but she’s happier than she’s ever been.