(Not A) Christian Podcast

On this episode, we dive into a Fall Edition of Keep It or Can It, which means it’s time for overpriced corn mazes, questionable fashion choices, and people pretending chili with beans is anything but soup. In this episode, Kyle rants his way through autumn’s biggest offenders: the false promise of pumpkin carving (“three hours for a fruit you just ruined”), the sticky regret of caramel apples, and the chaos of holiday parades where adults crawl for street candy like it’s currency. If you’ve ever run a $50 5K for a free T-shirt, written poetry in a beanie at 68 degrees, or believed that roasting pumpkin seeds would fix anything — this one’s for you.Then, we find out which candy won the Best Halloween Candy Tournament and which contestant won the bracket challenge!

In this return, learn about the backhanded compliment that Kyle regularly receives regarding the podcast! Then, Kyle explains his descent into narcissism and how it relates to (NA)CP. Then the bulk of the episode, Kyle gives his unsolicited opinion on 64 Halloween candies! There's a tournament coming up, so we explore topics like, which candy would you run into at the grocery store and try to avoid hanging out with? Would dark chocolate have a podcast? Would Twix be a suburban mom with a shih tzu and poorly behaved children? Kyle thinks so and you will too by the time this is over!

This is a tough listen. Get ready for the most self-deprecating episode in the history of podcasts. You voted on our latest “Keep It or Can It” poll on Instagram, so Kyle gives his opinion on anything and everything related to romance, including his own experience that you’ve probably never heard. Buckle up, because it gets awkward. Learn what about the dating lessons you can learn from heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and discount candy the day after Valentine’s Day! Hear about Kyle’s (NA)CP-branded conversation hearts, coming in 2026 that will give you more realistic expectations surrounding dating. There’s so much more about bad pickup lines, dating apps, “Where’s my hug at” guys and the most embarrassing experience of Kyle’s life, so you’ll just have to listen to find out!

We kick off 2025 not with a single rant. Not with a double rant. But with a triple-rant. Christian shoes, feminization of the name "Kyle" and the panic induced by the potential loss of candy corn fuels today's indignance. Then, Kyle takes one last look back at 2024 with his top albums of the year. To close out the show, Kyle takes you all the way back to elementary school with a story that will probably shock you. He's not proud of it but it happened. Please don't cancel me.

Kyle begins this episode by recounting his recent travels, which includes questionable interactions in the Waffle House parking lot, hot dog cars, sprinting through an airport and meeting a childhood hero. For the rest of the episode, goes through his Spotify Wrapped and confirms what we all already know.

This episode starts out with Kyle recounting yet another humbling experience in a public setting. Hear how Kyle's moral superiority led to his latest public downfall. Then, the majority of this episode will be spent going over the bracket for the tournament that never happened, which will henceforth be known as the (Not A) Summer Tournament! Hear about Kyle's opinions on tide pods, fedoras, paper straws and countless other trends. Kyle waxes on about how his ideal childhood would have involved frosted tips and heelies and also how he might have peaked in high school because of plaid shorts.

To start this episode, Kyle rants about subpar mailbox coupons and panic-buying toilet paper any time there’s a national event. Then, Kyle recounts a recent experience that ranks in his top three embarrassing moments of his whole life. It involves appreciating some art a little too much and not knowing when to keep his mouth shut. Then, the bulk of the episode is Kyle doing a very late recap on his summer trip to Montana. It involves planes on fire, driving into not one, but two horror movies, last minute camping reservations and meeting grizzly bears. It’s a wild time.

Welcome back! On this brief installment of (NA)CP, Kyle dabbles in self-congratulatory behavior and makes a promise he vows to keep in every circumstance except for death! All in all, it's just a very brief update on where (NA)CP has been and where (NA)CP is going!

On this episode, we acknowledge that we all did weird things during the pandemic. Did you shave your chest? Abandon your mandatory cart in the grocery store? Have you shaken hands with a man lately? I've got some bad news for you... Then, Kyle tells a story about a string of irrational decisions ( likely induced by the lack of development in the 18-year-old male brain) that led him to do the most shameful thing he's ever done! The reason we're sharing it now is that there can be no (legal repercussions because the statute of limitations has expired! Didn't we all do dumb things in high school?

Big things have been happening this year. Kyle learned a new skill and has a major life update to share with the friends of the show. Then, for the bulk of the show, we catch up on some social media polls from the more distant past…. But better late than never. What colors do you associate with different months of the year? Most of you don’t do it at all, so this segment will probably be incoherent rambling. You may have wondered before, what do manila folders and vomit have in common? You’ll finally find your answer on this segment. Then, we fulfill what the internet was created for- determining how Christian certain non-Christian songs actually are. Then, Kyle ends the show with what is perhaps the least surprising recommendation of the week in the history of (NA)CP!