Middle Me with Ana P. Santos

On this week's episode of Middle Me, we continue our conversation with Filipino-Indian writer Deepa Paul! Getting back to our discussion of open marriage, Deepa takes us on a journey of shedding shame as she explores her sexually adventurous side. From sharing dinners with polyamorous women to getting real with her thoughts about her marriage, Deepa reflects on her "Middle Me" stage at 40 — seeing desire as another integral part of her identity, alongside being a wife and mother. There's more! Deepa drops the exciting news that she's releasing a book – her memoir, "Ask Me How It Works: Everything You Want to Know About My Open Marriage," coming out in Spring 2025. If you enjoyed our conversation with her, don't miss her unique perspectives and subscribe to her Substack Newsletter, Letters by Deepa.Also, if you're still curious about Deepa's journey or want to share your Middle Me story, reach out to us at [email protected]!

Deepa Paul, freelance writer and author, shares her experiences in an open marriage. In this episode, we get an inside look at how ethical non-monogamy works for Deepa, and how it's possible to have fulfilling polyamorous relationships with both a husband and boyfriend at the same time. How does a wife and mom like Deepa navigate the complexities, misconceptions, pleasures and possibilities of ethical non-monogamy?Is open marriage something you're curious about or would like to explore? In her Substack Newsletter, Letters by Deepa, she explore the balance between being a mother, wife, girlfriend and adventurer, and herself — all at the same time. We'd like to hear your take or your Middle Me story! Send us a message at [email protected]

In Part 2 of our interview with veteran activist and lesbian visibility advocate Giney Villar, we discussed her experiences as a lesbian woman in the Philippines. We delved into how she realized her identity in her early years and found her tribe in a lesbian collective. She also shared the challenges she faced finding employment as a lesbian in the '80s, and how she refused to compromise and stayed true to herself. Giney also highlighted the importance of feminism and how the personal is political, as she discovered a language to express her feelings and navigate societal norms. Listen as we explore Giney's story and the vibrant era of the 1980s Philippines, where disco music and colorful fashion set the stage for a generation seeking spaces of their own. -- We'd like to hear your own Middle Me story! Send us a message on [email protected]

Is it true that lesbian sex is better than heterosexual sex? There’s a popular study that says so and this week on the podcast, lesbian visibility activist Giney Villar lets us in on why there is truth to that survey. As Giney says, “This is an endorsement!” 😎 Giney also shares her stories growing up learning about her sexuality, making intentional changes to her body, and finding relationships that expanded her self-understanding. As a bonus, Giney also gave her 5 tips to live out your best sexual self — wherever you find yourself in the gender identity spectrum. -- We'd like to hear your own Middle Me story! Send us a message on [email protected]

This new episode with sex therapist, Dr. Rica Cruz is filled with twists and turns! There’s a part about getting your first sex toy at mid-life (and wondering if keri ba ito sa gives), deflecting questions about body count, and what to do with random d*ck pics that slip into your DMs. Listeners who find themselves in the “Conflicted Sexual Stage” (listen to Episode 9 if you haven’t) will be relieved — and excited — to know that there is life after feeling conflicted. Hint: Basta, you go back to your body and everything will be ok.  Rica also shared how she juggles her happy active sex life with being a mom.  Wait…there’s more! We also traded notes on our favorite sex toys! Have your own pleasure story or want to tell us what you’d like us to talk about next, drop us an email at [email protected]!

Have you wondered why our feelings towards sex and our sexuality change as we go through seasons in life? For Season 2 of Middle Me, I sat down with sex therapist Dr. Rica Cruz to talk about these sexual stages, the triggers, and how women usually deal with them. Rica also shared her observations on men and women attitudes about giving and receiving oral sex. Towards the latter part of the episode, our chat took a turn to what lolas say about sex after 5am mass, under the influence of wine! What do you think about this episode? What kinds of sex and pleasure-related topics would you want to hear next? Send us a message at [email protected]

Back this week with Myrza Sison, we pick up on how her courageous "incarnations," influences growing up, and being comfortable with her sexuality allowed her to confidently explore different careers and dreams over the years. (If you missed Part 1 of this interview, we suggest that you listen to that one first!) Unrestrained and high-spirited, Myrza's story of upending social expectations:  marrying at 42 and not choosing to pursue motherhood--despite what everyone else is saying! Tune in for a feel-good talk on love, sex, self-care, Middle-age, and all the dots in between. Have your own MiddleMe story to share? Send us a message at [email protected]

This week, we talk about how Cosmopolitan Philippines put sex and pleasure in style during the late 90s! From an atmosphere of conservatism and slut-shaming, how did they make women feel confident to talk about sex and pleasure?  Our guest, Myrza Sison, former Editor-in-Chief of Cosmo shares how they became the voice that led thousands of women to become fun and unapologetically fearless about sex, orgasms, birth control, lube—and become their best selves in the process.  Towards the end of the episode, we unbox middle age sex and pleasure from the challenges to the good and the exciting parts. Do you have a fun and fearless middle age story you want to share? Send us an email at [email protected] 💋

Trigger warning: Extensive discussion of sexual abuse This week on Middle Me, we continue the story of Ces Millado on reclaiming pleasure, this time from traumatic sexual experiences she had at home growing up. Ces recalls how she did not have the knowledge or the vocabulary to label or talk about  what was happening to her and her body. In this episode, we learn how Ces found and formed safe spaces for herself and for others who had similar experiences. For Ces, breaking the silence was the first step in reclaiming her body and her right to pleasure. Do you have a Middle Me story you wish to share? Send them to us at [email protected]

Ces Millado had a typical love story that started with marrying her first boyfriend in her 20s. After her marriage ended, Ces went on an exploration. In her 30s, she celebrated her freedom on the sandy beaches of Boracay. “It was my liberation!” Nearing her 40s, she set out on an ultimate adventure of “40 before 40” 😉😻 “It was a period of sexual actualization!” Ces’s adventure was all about living a life with no regrets. Relate much? Join our conversation. Send your Middle Me stories of pleasure and liberation to [email protected]!