Grad School Confidential

Thousands of people start graduate programs every year – and over time, many come to question their choice.  Is the program right for me? Do I have too much going on in my life? Should I keep pursuing my degree – investing my time, energy and sense of my own identity in such a major undertaking? Is it worth it? Or would I be better off leaving?

You sit down at the keyboard, ready to write up your research. But the harder you try, the worse you seem to feel.Today we ask a vexing question: what makes thesis-writing so mentally and emotionally taxing? We talk to two former grad students about their struggles with self-doubt, anxiety and loneliness in the writing process. We also gain insights from University of Toronto writing scholar Rachael Cayley.Music credits: Licensed from soundstripe.com: "Shaken and Stirred" by Dreamland (theme song); “Boo Instrumental” by Dresden the Flamingo; “Beyond All Time” by Moments; “Transporter” by Falls; “Causality” by Shimmer; “Unexpected Turn” by Moments; “Pages” by Shimmer; “What You Are Here For” by Moments; “Crescendo” by Featherland.

In this episode, two mothers tell us what it’s like to take on these daunting tasks at the same time. They share their feelings of guilt and recount moments of exhaustion. When they do get the help they need, we learn, it’s often from individuals who care, rather than from a system that isn’t really built to support them. Together, these stories help us all understand the experiences of graduate student parents a little bit better. And for all the parents out there, we hope it helps you realize you’re not alone in finding this hard.Music credits: Licensed from  soundstripe.com: "Shaken and Stirred" by Dreamland (theme song); “Growing Pains” by Featherland; “Aurora” by Featherland; “Sacred Ground” by Falls; “Denali” by Bryant Lowry; “Secret” by MCV Beatz

People are always telling you to find work-life balance. It’s easy to say, but why is it so hard to do? In this episode, we explore the struggle that every grad student experiences: trying to find the right balance between spending time on academics and living the rest of their life. Several grad students, past and present, share their stories. They talk about the guilt of saying no, the anxiety of proving they belong and the mistakes they made along the way. They point to a sobering, but perhaps reassuring, conclusion: finding the perfect balance – and staying there, in the Goldilocks Zone – may be an impossible dream.Music credits: Licensed from soundstripe.com: "Shaken and Stirred" by Dreamland (theme song); “Hypnotized” by Cast of Characters; “Ticking” by Alternate Endings; “Exploring the Unknown” by Adam Saban; “Caffeinated Marimba” by JCar; “Old Moon” by Lincoln Davis; “Which Witch” by Dresden the Flamingo; “Glasgow” by Falls; “Pensive” by Shimmer; “As Fate Would Have It” by Wicked Cinema; “Particles” by Chelsea McGough.

Grad school is challenging at the best of times. But students who have experienced past trauma may find it especially hard to cope. In this episode, we speak with two students who embarked on PhD programs while nursing personal wounds. One endured a terror attack in France; the other experienced years of domestic abuse. They share their struggles with academic life, and tell us how they came to understand and deal with their trauma.Please note: This episode contains content some listeners may find disturbing. For information and resources on dealing with trauma, see our Resources page.Music credits: Licensed from soundstripe.com: “Thing Gone Wrong” by Moments; “Sussex” by Stephen Keech; “Light in the Dark” by Moments; “Corners” by Shimmer; “Memories of Future Events” by Hill; “Another Time, Another Place” by Sounds Like Sander ; "Shaken and Stirred" by Dreamland (theme song).

Depression is more than just a feeling: it’s a mood disorder that can have devastating effects on our thoughts and behaviour. And it can be hard to detect in a high-pressure environment like grad school.In this episode, we speak with a grad student who experienced depression during her PhD program. She explains the onset of the condition, what it felt like, and how she reached out for help.Please note: This episode contains discussions of suicidal thoughts and other troubling subjects. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please reach out to one of the crisis lines listed on our Resources page.Music credits: Licensed from soundstripe.com: “Haunted” by Emorie; "Shaken and Stirred" by Dreamland (theme song); “Haunted” by Stephen Keech; “Arcadia” by Cody Martin; “Ripley” by Falls; “Three Meters” by Stephen Keech; “The Changing Tides” by Brent Wood; “1947” by Stephen Keech; “Chasing the Northern Lights” by Sounds Like Sander.Grad School Confidential is a production of Counselling & Clinical Services at the University of Alberta.

Pointed critiques may come with the territory in academic life, but that doesn't make them any easier to hear.Join us for a conversation with Hayley and Jenna — recent PhD graduates (and successful academics) who have faced and overcome tough feedback. They share their stories, and Kevin D. Haggerty, co-author of 57 Ways to Screw Up in Grad School, discusses the reasons that such criticism can hit hard.For more on this and other episodes of Grad School Confidential, visit our website: uab.ca/gsc.Guests:Dr. Kevin D. Haggerty, Professor of Criminology and Sociology, University of AlbertaDr. Hayley Morrison, Assistant Professor, Department of Elementary Education, University of AlbertaDr. Jenna Lorusso, Postdoctoral Fellow, University of Limerick Music credits: Licensed from soundstripe.com: "Shaken and Stirred" by Dreamland (theme song); “Brennar” by Falls; “Wistful” by Falls; “Raindrops” by Moments; “Crocuta” by Hill; “Apostle of Ireland” by Cody Martin; “Full Circle” by Sounds Like Sander; “Remember This” by Craig Allen Fravel; “Escape” by Memory Theory; “Cayuga Land” by Alsever Lake.Grad School Confidential  is a production of the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research at the University of Alberta.

Feeling spent, exhausted, over-extended? If so, you’re not alone. Grad students trying to balance the demands of life with new academic challenges often find themselves contending with burnout.Join us for a conversation with Chantal, Katherine and Alle — grad students who know what the struggle is like. They share their stories, and we explore some useful remedies.For more on this and other episodes of Grad School Confidential, visit our website: uab.ca/gsc.Music credits:Licensed from soundstripe.com: "Shaken and Stirred" by Dreamland (theme song); “Gem” by Nu Alkemi$t; “River Walk” by Wild Wonder; “What You Do Not Know” by Joshua Spacht; “Many Worlds” by Memory Theory; “Through Space and Time” by Alsever Lake; “Life in Binary” by Falls.“Marimba on the Hunt” by Daniel Birch, available from freemusicarchive.com under a CC.BY-NC 4.0 licence.Grad School Confidential is a production of the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research at the University of Alberta.

Grad studies are a lonely task at the best of times. Throw in a pandemic that keeps us away from friends and loved ones, and the days can be harder to navigate. Join us for a conversation with Leah and Rubio, grad students who have struggled with loneliness and isolation during this unprecedented year.For more on this and other episodes of Grad School Confidential, visit our website: uab.ca/gsc.Music credits:Licensed from soundstripe.com: "Shaken and Stirred" by Dreamland (theme song); “Skeptical” by Lincoln Davis; “Lift It Up and Feel Good” by Rhythm Scott; “Drama Dee” by Rhythm Scott; “Moonflower” by Matt Wigton; “No Place To Go” by Alsever Lake; “Distant Memories” by Joshua Spacht; “Wait For The Morning” by Joshua Spacht.Grad School Confidential is a production of the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research at the University of Alberta.

Does it sometimes feel like other grad students have it all together in the classroom and in the lab...while you don't have a clue what you're doing? You're not alone. Many grad students grapple with impostor syndrome, hard as it is to talk about. In this episode, we look closely at those feelings to figure out where they come from and how to overcome them. Along the way, we talk with Dylan, a student who learned a lot about himself after an epic bout with impostor syndrome.For more on this and other episodes of Grad School Confidential, visit our website: uab.ca/gsc.Music credits:Licensed from soundstripe.com: "Shaken and Stirred" by Dreamland (theme song); "Forbidden Wing" by Cody Martin (opening); "Home Life" by Avocado Junkie (GSA message).Licensed from storyblocks.com (for Dylan's story): "On Tiptoe" (audio); "Bizet's Habanera" by Keith Anthony Holden; "Seminar People Talking" (audio); "102518-wib-1m8"; "Sneak a Peek" by Bruce Zimmerman; "Turning Cogs" by Keith Anthony Holden.Other musical excerpts include hikmet_minor2, performed by Hikmet Altunbaşlıer and created by emirdemirel, available from freesound.org under a CC BY 3.0 license; trumpetsolo0_hikmet.aiff, performed by Hikmet Altunbaşlıer and created by emirdemirel, available from freesound.org under a CC0 1.0 license; Performance Warm Up.wav by thatjeffcarter, available from freesound.org under a CC0 1.0 license; and tracks recorded by the Alberta Honour Band (1999).Grad School Confidential is a production of the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research, University of Alberta.