Doing Sex

What happens to sex and intimacy when your brain doesn’t switch off? In this episode of Doing Sex, Sahar explores how ADHD shapes desire, attraction, attention, and long-term relationships with Dr. Ari Tuckman, psychologist, certified sex therapist, and author of ADHD After Dark. Drawing on research and stories from hundreds of couples, they unpack how ADHD affects arousal, emotional connection, communication, and libido, from hyperfocus and novelty to distraction, rejection sensitivity, and fading desire over time. Whether you have ADHD, love someone who does, or want to better understand how the brain influences sex, this episode offers practical insight, clarity, and compassion, without clichés or shame. Doing Sex: https://www.instagram.com/doing____sex/?hl=en Sahar Zand: https://www.instagram.com/saharzand5/?hl=en Ari Tuckman: https://adultadhdbook.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Masturbation is something most of us do, but almost no one talks about. Is it healthy? Can it improve your sex life? Or could it quietly be getting in the way of intimacy? In this episode of Doing Sex, Sahar sits down with Danielle Bezalel (DB), host of Sex Ed with DB and public-health researcher, to talk about the science of self-pleasure, myth-busting decades of shame and misinformation along the way. DB shares what led her to turn her own masturbation habits into an actual research study, starting with a three-week personal experiment that later became a large-scale scientific project with legendary sex-toy brand Magic Wand. Together, they unpack how masturbation affects stress, sleep, mood, desire, and relationships and why we might need to start thinking of self-please as self-care. From sex toys and fantasy to guilt, gender gaps, and communication with partners, this conversation explores what really happens when we stop whispering about pleasure and start being honest about it. Doing Sex: https://www.instagram.com/doing____sex/?hl=en Sahar Zand: https://www.instagram.com/saharzand5/?hl=en Sex Ed with DB: https://www.instagram.com/sexedwithdbpodcast/?hl=en Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

How do you reclaim your sexual freedom in a world that’s tried to take it from you through trauma, culture, or even motherhood? In this episode of Doing Sex, Sahar speaks with activist and campaigner Payzee Mahmod, whose life is a powerful story of survival and reclamation. Born in Iraqi Kurdistan, Payzee is a survivor of FGM, child marriage, and devastating loss. Her sister, Banaz Mahmod, was murdered in an honour killing — a tragedy that shaped Payzee’s fight to change the law on child marriage in England and Wales. Now an activist at the Obama Foundation, Payzee opens up about the intersections of trauma, identity, and desire — and how she rebuilt her relationship with her own body and sexuality. From confronting shame to rediscovering pleasure, this is a conversation about healing, agency, and what sexual freedom really means. Doing Sex: https://www.instagram.com/doing____sex/?hl=en Sahar Zand: https://www.instagram.com/saharzand5/?hl=en Payzee Mahmod: https://www.instagram.com/payzeespeaks/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

They’ve been married for seven years — but haven’t had sex in six. For Gus and his husband, it’s not a sign of failure, it’s just part of how their open marriage works. In this episode of Doing Sex, Sahar talks to her good friend Gus, a gay man whose relationship flips almost every traditional idea of love and desire on its head. He’s deeply in love with his husband, but their sex life exists entirely elsewhere. For Gus, the colder and more transactional the encounter, the better. Sex, he says, is easy. Love is what takes work. Gus talks about what happens when sex and love start living in different places, how jealousy really works inside an open marriage, and brutal honesty is the only way forward. He's hilarious, candid, and uncomfortably honest — a story about freedom, intimacy, and what it takes to stay connected when the rules of love are rewritten. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

These days, it feels like everyone is talking about open relationships—whether as a fix, an experiment, or a new kind of freedom. But can they actually work? And can they really improve your sex life? In this episode of Doing Sex, Sahar sits down with Ana Kirova, CEO of Feeld, the app that’s helped redefine modern intimacy and champion ethical non-monogamy.Ana shares what open relationships have taught her about communication, lessons grounded in freedom, honesty, choice, and kindness. She talks about what led to her opening her relationship with her partner, Dimo, who was so inspired by their experience, he built an app to help others do the same. That idea became Feeld, a space for exploring love, sexuality, and connection beyond traditional rules.The conversation covers jealousy, honesty, emotional safety, and how to unlearn the relationship scripts many of us grew up with. Whether you’re monogamous, curious, or somewhere in between, this episode will challenge what you think you know about sex, commitment, and what it really means to “go open.” Chapters 00:00 Intro 05:43 What an open relationship really is & The myth of the perfect monogamous relationship 09:12 Is monogamy toxic? 10:58 Facing our fears makes us stronger. 14:54 Ana's journey into ethical non-monogamy. 29:35 Does everyone have the emotional capacity for an open relationship? 32:04 Boundaries, mistakes and jealousy. . 41:05 19:05 How Feeld changed modern dating, what they've discovered about our desires. Doing Sex: https://www.instagram.com/doing____sex/?hl=en Sahar Zand: https://www.instagram.com/saharzand5/?hl=en Feeld: https://www.instagram.com/feeldco/?hl=en Ana Kirova: https://www.instagram.com/ana__kirova/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What happens when Sahar turns the microphone on herself? In this intimate episode of Doing Sex, Sahar sits down with sex and intimacy therapist Dr. Lori Beth —with no producer, no safety net, and nothing off limits. This is your invite to join Sahar as she digs deep in this first of many therapy episodes. Raw, unfiltered, and deeply human, Sahar lets us in on her search for answers to her own questions around sex. Sahar and Lori explore how childhood experiences, toxic relationships, and struggles with sexual dysfunction have shaped Sahar’s relationship to sex. If you’ve ever wondered how our past can echo through our sex lives, or what it takes to truly confront our own patterns, then maybe a sex therapy session is in order. Doing Sex: https://www.instagram.com/doing____sex/?hl=en Sahar Zand: https://www.instagram.com/saharzand5/?hl=en Lori: https://drloribethbisbey.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week, Sahar meets Dr. Margie Holmes, a pioneering Filipino clinical psychologist, sex therapist, author, media personality, and educator whose career has spanned more than 45 years—all about sex and relationships. Dr. Holmes began her journey writing newspaper columns, where she quickly became the Philippines’ resident Agony Aunt. Readers wrote in with questions and confessions about love, intimacy, and desire. Through her platform, she challenged taboos, dismantled stereotypes, and opened up conversations about topics often considered unspeakable in Filipino culture. With 16 best-selling books, a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, talk show host and advice columns that have reached millions, she is a true trailblazer, Dr. Margie Holmes has helped transform the national conversation on sex, mental health, and sexuality in the Philippines, making her one of the most influential voices in her field. Doing Sex: https://www.instagram.com/doing____sex/?hl=en Sahar Zand: https://www.instagram.com/saharzand5/?hl=en Dr. Margie Holmes: https://www.facebook.com/drmargieholmes/?locale=en_GB Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Data, engineering, numbers? Sexy thoughts are not normally the first thing that comes to mind. Until you meet Anna Lee. Anna's job as a sex toy engineer goes beyond the toy itself and into the data behind when, why and how we orgasm. As the the co-founder of sex toy company Lioness, the toys collect data and continue the cycle of helping people with better orgasms! Doing Sex: https://www.instagram.com/doing____sex/?hl=en Sahar Zand: https://www.instagram.com/saharzand5/?hl=en Anna Lee: https://www.instagram.com/annaisaverage/ Lioness: https://www.instagram.com/lionesshealth/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The formidable Dominatrix, Eva Oh joins Sahar on this week's episode of Doing Sex. London based Dominatrix Eva Oh uses kink as a method of connection, healing and empowerment. Speaking to Sahar about her clients’ desires, she explains that sessions are often ritualistic, psychologically rich and carefully orchestrated. When Sahar opens up about her struggles with intimacy, Eva Oh encourages her (and others) to explore solo pleasure as a way to dismantle shame and build one’s own version of sexuality. Sahar’s background as a journalist and her curious questions as to which services Eva Oh offers and how she herself experiences pleasure lead to an open discussion about the ethics of bondage, humiliation and more extreme requests such as medical play and anesthetics. Doing Sex: https://www.instagram.com/doing____sex/?hl=en Sahar Zand: https://www.instagram.com/saharzand5/?hl=en Eva Oh: https://www.instagram.com/youwillplease_me/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Mahmoud Baydoun — a queer Lebanese-Brazilian sexologist — talks to Sahar and, with refreshing honesty, pulls back the curtain on the reality of his online sex empire. Mahmoud has built a booming online business by sharing bold tips for better sex and cheeky tricks for handling penises. Whether it’s naughty Instagram and TikTok posts that flirt with platform guidelines or ebooks and online courses that have sold over 250,000 copies, Mahmoud has millions of followers — and he knows exactly how to capture their attention and keep it. On top of that, he has starred in not one, but two of Brazil’s biggest reality TV shows. Behind all the buzz and bravado is someone thoughtful — not a fan of social media at all — but also a total sex nerd. He holds a Master’s in Psychology, is pursuing a PhD in Human Sexuality, and has a deep passion for academia and the human psyche. Doing Sex: https://www.instagram.com/doing____sex/?hl=en Sahar Zand: https://www.instagram.com/saharzand5/?hl=en Mahmoud Baydoun: https://www.instagram.com/mahmoudbaydoun_/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices