Marriage: Perspective

When life is hard (or even when it is not!), it can be hard for me to find something to pray about when I sit down to pray. It helps me to have some set piece of content that I'm going through that serves as inspiration for my prayer. Right now, I'm going through the Catechism in a Year podcast, but here are some other ideas for you if you are looking for some good spiritual reading/listening: The Bible (The best! Try going through Psalms, a gospel, or one of the epistles) Bible in a Year, Catechism in a Year, Pray as You Go, or other devotional podcasts C.S. Lewis books (some of these are dense enough that you really only need to read a sentence or two and you have enough to ponder) Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales Tim Keller books (Christian, not Catholic) Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence Fr. Jacque Philippe books (Interior Freedom and Searching for and Maintaining Peace are both awesome starters) Be Healed and Be Transformed by Bob Schuchts (these are good for investigating wounds and bringing them to God) Any book written by a saint!

During this time where I have a baby (and therefore an unpredictable schedule), my daily prayer has been less consistent than I like. But going to daily Mass has been something I've been able to keep up, and it has made all the difference! God's grace is SO REAL in the sacraments, and it can make a very tangible effect in our lives! That said, I know that going to Mass with kids can sometimes be challenging (especially if you have littles like I do), so I spell out my top tips for taking kids to Mass. These tips are a good starting point, but remember that it will get easier and easier if you do it consistently. Your kids (and you) get to know what to expect and everyone finds a rhythm that works. And on the random days that the kids are crazy, just find a Mass friend who you can look over at and chuckle with! God loves you! He wants to care for you through His sacraments, and He loves having your kids there too! Don't let embarrassment or fear of difficulty keep you from Him at the altar!

I have had several experiences being discipled and discipling others, and it has been as helpful as Jesus may have intended when He instituted discipleship with His apostles. In this episode, I share my experience with discipleship and how it has affected my prayer life. I believe that all of us are called to both be guided by a mentor and to help other draw nearer to God by discipling them. Can you grow from having someone disciple you? Is there someone in your life that you can help lead? Check out these resources below for some help! Forming Intentional Disciples by Sherry Weddell Why should we work on discipleship? How to be a disciple

Since I've been a mom, I've struggled with expectations of my prayer life. I've wanted the kind of prayer that is slow, silent, filled with consolations, and deeply intimate with Jesus. How about you? Unfortunately, finding large chunks of time in which my life is silent is hard, and there are about a billion distractions in my life like chores, volunteer opportunities, homeschooling plans, and *oh yeah* all those kids! But there is this crazy, incredible opportunity that God reaches out to me every single day, and it is through my kids. In this episode, I share about how I have found awesome growth in my relationship with God through my sweet baby, Bernadette. By saying "yes" to loving Birdie, I say "yes" to Jesus! And, Lord willing, that can extend out to all of my children and the other needs in my life. I hope it can remind you to do the same!

For the last episode of the marriage series, I interviewed my husband, Davis. We discuss a lot of the topics from this series, but hear the male perspective. This episode is great for wives to hear, but may be even more fun to listen to as a couple and discuss what you heard. Listen in to hear how to: Show your husband the respect he craves Encourage your husband in spiritual leadership Allow space for your husband to step into his unique role in parenting Davis also challenges all men in their parenthood in eight specific areas. I will be posting the list he refers to on Instagram, so if you are interested in seeing it, find me there! See you next week (and the following couple of weeks) for some stand alone episodes that will hopefully bless you!

For the penultimate episode of the series, I interviewed my very wise and always lovely mom, Andi Ponsford! She looks back on her marriage of 40 years and reflects on what made it tick. She shares awesome insights about: Her 70/100 rule The Total Woman who: Admires, Adores, Appreciates, and Accepts Tough times not meaning a bad marriage Much more! I was soaking up all the wisdom, and I'm sure I'll listen to this many more times to get different nuggets each time. I love to think about her perspective and I hope that I will have the same joyful attitude as I look back on my marriage and life. Enjoy this second to last episode on marriage! I hope it blesses you as it blesses me!

During last week's episode, I spoke a bit about theology of the body, but I am not an expert. So I have brought an expert on the podcast to be able to share some of her wisdom with us! Monica Ashour is the founder and president of TOBET (Theology of the Body Evangelization Team). She speaks about how God has made us fully, soul, mind and BODY and how therefore the body matters! Tune in to learn more about what God says about sex and our bodies and how we can bring that into our family lives. And check out tobet.org to learn more about their many resources, including books for kids of all ages teaching theology of the body.

Let's talk about marital intimacy! Sexual intimacy in marriage should not be underestimated! As Mike Hernon says on the Messy Family Podcast, sex in the grease that keeps the machine running! Sex helps keep our marriages running smoothly and happily along, and should be an ever-present part of our relationships. In this episode, we talk a little about what the Catholic Church teaches about sex and then go through 6 tips for having more and better sex in our marriages! Look out for the next episode, which is an interview with the founder and president of TOBET (Theology of the Body Evangelization Team). We discuss theology of the body--what it is and how to bring it into our families and marriages! Some resources to learn more about theology of the body if you are exploring God's design for sex: Charting Towards Intimacy podcast--TONS of great episodes on all kinds of specific sex questions Vinesinfullbloom.com where there are courses for learning more and availability of coaching for growth in the area of intimacy Good News about Sex and Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions about Catholic Teaching by Christopher West Holy Sex by Gregory Popcak

God loves every part of you and want to be a part of your life. That includes your marriage! How can we grow toward God with our husbands and why would we want to, anyway? These questions are answered in this episode! This episode gives ideas and suggestions for how to grow in your prayer life as a couple based on your shared (or not shared) temperaments! Use these ideas to help bring you, your husband, and your family closer to your Father in Heaven who loves you and wants to guide your marriage! If you haven't heard of the temperaments, check out the second episode of this series called "Marriage: Temperaments" and hear a whole explanation for what these personality types are and how they can look within a marriage.

Working on a project with another person is difficult. And parenting is pretty much the biggest project you will ever do! Throw in past wounds, different families of origin, and influences from different communities and two spouses are bound to disagree on a lot of it. How can we make sure that parenting doesn't take our marriage down? Make sure your parenting philosophy always serves the marriage first! If strictly following a parenting philosophy is consistently driving a wedge between you and your husband, the philosophy needs to change. Your kids learn more from watching you and your husband than they do from your specific discipline techniques, so model working together well. Remember that moms and dads parent differently. Check out "The Wonder of Parenting" podcast in their series about how moms and dads parent differently. It is OK to have different responses to the same situation. In fact, it is good for your kids! Just because your husband speaks differently to your kids doesn't mean it is wrong. Resist the urge to nag. If you need to admonish your husband in his parenting, wait for the right time, give a soft start, and remember that he may also have good ideas that are just different than yours. Be willing to research his way of doing things. And for small things, you may just need to let it go. Often times it is better to be wrong together than right apart. Remember that one day your kids will leave your home and you will still have your husband. He will be your longest, closest relationship in your family. Don't let different parenting styles jeopardize your relationship with him!