Ep128: Zelly Ruskin: Author, “Not Yours To Keep”

Send us a textJulie Brumley is a domestic infant adoptee who was adopted seven weeks after birth in 1973, following four relinquishments during that time. Her birth mother had attempted to abort her twice, between 12 and 16 weeks of pregnancy. Julie only became fully aware of the influence of the primal trauma she experienced about three and a half years ago, though her journey began in 2010. At that time, a professor in her master's counseling program pointed out that unresolved issues related to her adoption could negatively affect others if left unaddressed. Since then, she has completed two rounds of EMDR therapy and started somatic work soon after. Over the past year and a half, she has been building a coaching program for adoptees, which she plans to launch at the end of the month.https://cominghometoself.co/revolutionhttps://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Send us a textIn her first career, Zelly was a social worker in the adoption and foster care field. From there, she owned an online retail store specializing in hand-painted children’s gifts and party favors. Along the way, Zelly volunteered and raised funds for several non-profit organizations. In an alternate universe, she is probably an event planner. But once she moved to New York City, Zelly gave in to the compulsion to write women’s fiction spiced with suspense about motherhood, relationships, loss and love. Her debut novel, “Not Yours to Keep”, comes out October 2024 with She Writes Press.When she’s not devising twisty plots, Zelly loves traveling, hiking, and is passionate about and volunteers for Brain Aneurysm Awareness. Her involvement in the cause is driven by personal experiences, including surviving an unruptured brain aneurysm, the tragic loss of a family member to a rupture, and supporting a friend in their recovery. Read more about why she’s a dedicated advocate for brain aneurysm awareness and research in her Brain Aneurysm Essay.https://zellyruskin.com/https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Send us a textCathy Terkanian is the subject of the new Netflix documentary “Into the Fire: The Lost Daughter.” When Cathy received word that the daughter she gave up for adoption many years ago had disappeared, Cathy embarked on an extraordinary and tenacious journey to find her, steered by the unbeatable bond of a mother and child to discover the truth. The horror of what happened to her daughter is unimaginable. In a recent post Cathy wrote on her daughter’s photo, “My name is Alexis, my adopted name was Andrea Bowman. My adopted parents starved me, ignored me, belittled me, abused me, murdered me, chopped up my body and burned me with the garbage. My adoptive Mother divided my ashes. Never forget my name.” This story is hard to hear, it is hard to watch but it its important we look this issue straight in the eye. Adoption does have a dark side, not everyone has a voice or a mother who walks through the fire to find justice. There is no doubt there are many injustices that will never be revealed. Cathy like many biological mothers was coerced into relinquishing her child, and told her daughter would have a better life. The horror of what happened to Alexis proves that pure evil exists. Alexis reached out for help and no one listened. Cathy is making sure everyone is listening now.Justice for Aundria M Bowman facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/share/19ZDTKTHMK/?mibextid=LQQJ4dNow streaming on Netflix https://www.imdb.com/title/tt33163756/https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Send us a textMark Wills is a true definition of what it means to turn trauma into triumph. He is one of the highest producing notary loan signing agents in the country. Owner of a national loan signing service, best selling author and the course instructor of Loan Signing System, the premier notary signing agent training to thousands of people coast to coast. Mark was born in Korea and given up for adoption at the age of two years old, only to be returned and put into the foster care system. Mark was then was adopted again at 8 years old. Mark has taken his many traumas and used them as motivation to become successful. It is now his passion to share his message with as many people as possible. https://www.instagram.com/loansigningsystemhttps://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Send us a textPaul Fiscus, a devoted natural father, brings a unique perspective to the discussion on adoption and custody rights. His personal experiences have propelled him to become a passionate advocate for the rights of natural fathers. Paul's unwavering determination and in-depth understanding of the legal intricacies surrounding adoption highlight the hurdles that natural fathers can sometimes encounter.His insights and commitment to creating change in the treatment of natural fathers make him an invaluable voice in the ongoing dialogue about fathers' rights in the adoption process.Paul’s Song to his daughter: https://youtu.be/WuEuw_cOgoQ For more about Paul’s fight for his daughter, and additional resources: https://freeeliza.com/https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Send us a textSarah Reinhardt and Louise Browne, two adult adoptees and former business partners who had a successful ice cream truck in Los Angeles, team up again — this time in frank and honest conversations about adoption, centered on the adoptee experience.Each season Sarah and Louise recap a chapter from a book focused on adoption and then interview a fellow adoptee.  Sarah and Louise came out of the 'fog' in real-time through Seasons One and Two and are advocating for change in the adoption industry. For more about Sarah & Louise, https://www.adoptionthemakingofme.com/https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Send us a textSimon Benn was adopted at 5 weeks old, and is the founder of “Thriving Adoptees” podcast that honorably focuses on the issues adopted people face. Simon came out of the fog at 40 years old, and all was going well until he discovered that his teddy bear was a gift from his birth mother. This unleashed an eruption of anger, and feelings of rejection and of being unloved for Simon. This put him on his journey to heal and help others. 15 years later, Simon continues to support adoptees through his podcast, consulting, webinars. https://www.thrivingadoptees.com/ ​​​​​​​​​​​That led to a quest to heal, healing and a desire to help others. ​15 years later I work with others who want to support adoptees through my podcast, consulting,  webinars and any other way I can.https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Send us a textIn this episode, our guest who wishes to remain anonymous shares her story with remarkable detail and honesty. The death of her adopted sister Susie motivated her to become an advocate for adoptees. Her journey began in 1953 when her 19-year-old mother, under pressure from relatives, gave her up for adoption. Anne was adopted at birth through a private arrangement. At 18 months old, her adoptive parents introduced Susie, another adopted child, into their family.Anne’s upbringing in the Philadelphia suburbs fostered her love for art, leading her to earn multiple degrees in Fine Arts from the University of Pennsylvania. She later moved to New York City, where she pursued painting and worked in advertising. During this period, she faced severe anxiety and panic attacks, unknowingly linked to her adoption.In the mid-1990s, Anne found her birth parents and discovered a familial connection to art through her paternal grandfather, a portrait painter. Returning to Philadelphia in 1998, she continued painting and teaching art. By 2000, she became active in the adoptee rights movement and joined the Adoption Forum in 2005.The tragic loss of Susie in 2021, due to the emotional trauma of adoption, has driven Anne to renew her advocacy efforts for adoptees.https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Send us a text“Mae Mae” is an adopted person who leads a double life as a teacher and songwriter anchored in the Northwoods with a heart rooted in the West. During the school day she’s building resiliency with her middle schoolers, knee deep in equal parts shenanigans and hope. On her lunch breaks and down time, she gets muddy in song and tales with her various ensembles and creative companions. She savors shore time, quiet time with her hubby, listening to music, and writing it, all of it, down. In this episode, Mae Mae opens her heart to explore the complexities of relinquishment. Her tender soul is evident in every word she says,our conversation was enriching, heartbreaking and inspiring.https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/

Send us a textStephen Rowley, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist practicing in Bainbridge Island, Washington. His professional past includes serving as an elementary school teacher and principal, and a school district superintendent in Washington and California. He has been a college professor at three universities, teaching courses in educational administration and organizational theory. He holds a Ph.D. in Administration and Policy Analysis from Stanford University. His new book is: The Lost Coin: A Memoir of Adoption and Destiny (Chiron Publications, Sept. 2023). In our episode Stephen focused on the feelings an adopted person struggles with. In his words: “Imagine there’s an orphan who lives within them. The orphan is homeless, restless, disconnected, and searching for something or someone it can’t find, including its very soul. For some, the orphan’s persistent presence may arise intermittently through feelings and behavior at any stage of life or circumstance. No orphan, however, is beyond redemption. The lost orphan can be found in the shadows and brought to the safety and security of light. Disconnection can be healed by loving reconnection. In our conversation Stephen fleshed out the issues of abandonment with tenderness, insight and compassion.”https://www.pulledbytheroot.com/