The Orgasmic Meditation story: Origins and psychology of OneTaste and Nicole Daedone

For many people, Trump represents a uniquely dangerous figure in American history. But what if the contemptuous, maximally pessimistic ways many people talk about Trump and Republicans help put more "wind in the sails" of polarized, polarizing leaders like Trump? Are we in a self-reinforcing feedback loop of contempt and anger? In this talk for Richard Davies' series How Do We Fix it? (www.howdowefixit.me) Zachary Elwood argues that excessive contempt for each other is the problem underlying all other political discord and democracy-erosion problems. He and Richard discuss how liberal contempt for conservatives can create a feedback loop that empowers highly antagonistic and us-vs-them leaders, why our worst-case caricatures of the other side are so tempting and yet so wrong, and why changing how we talk about the "other side" can make us more persuasive and effective, not weaker. Learn more at www.american-anger.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I talk with journalist Ellen Huet, whose new book Empire of Orgasm digs into the strange origins and evolution of Nicole Daedone and OneTaste, and goes into more detail than the Netflix doc titled Orgasm Inc. We talk about where OneTaste’s orgasmic meditation practices actually came from, how Daedone built a movement around it, and how that movement shifted into something far more high-control and ultimately criminal. Topics discussed include: What counts as coercion when adults voluntarily join a group they can technically leave at any time? Where’s the line between unconventional lifestyle experimentation and exploitation? We talk about Nicole’s appeal, why people found her so compelling, and why charisma often has more to do with the listener than the speaker. And we discuss the paradox that makes groups like this so powerful: people can experience genuine benefits and connection at the very same time that harmful dynamics are unfolding. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many people think there are telltale signs of lying — shifty eyes, nervous fidgeting, maybe a quick smile — that can give someone away to trained observers. But according to decades of research, that’s a myth. Still, some scientists push back on that consensus. A recent paper by well-known researcher David Matsumoto (of the company Humintell) argues that combinations of nonverbal cues might be highly useful for revealing deception. In this episode, I talk with deception researcher Tim Levine, author of Duped and creator of truth-default theory, about whether that claim holds up — and what the science says about our ability to read lies using body language. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever wondered how tracking people actually works? You’ve probably seen a lot of Hollywood depictions of how law enforcement track people over external terrain, and maybe you’ve wondered what’s real and what’s exaggerated. I talk with Rob Speiden, an instructor in what’s called “sign cutting." Rob breaks down real search-and-rescue, law-enforcement, and military use-cases; why “broken twigs” and deep foot prints are actually weak evidence; how pros actually determine the age of sign using weather history and side-by-side comparisons; and why disciplined interviewing at the start of a mission can save hours later. He’s blunt about the limits of tracking, too—like why you can’t easily deduce someone’s weight from track depth alone. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You’ve probably heard of neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). It’s a popular thing. It’s the foundation for the work of popular life/business coach Tony Robbins, and there are many other popular trainers and “gurus” who have used NLP ideas as the basis for their work. The con artist Chase Hughes, whose lies and unethical behaviors I’ve examined on this podcast, is one such false guru whose origins are in NLP. This is a reshare of an episode from Chris Shelton’s “Speaking of Cults” podcast, which you can find on YouTube. We talk about: the history and origins of NLP and the ideas it contains; the good and the bad in NLP; my own experiences working for 6 months in the NLP industry; how people like Chase Hughes and other obvious charlatans succeed at gaining popularity (e.g., Chase Hughes being promoted by Joe Rogan and Dr. Phil); how Joe Rogan's and Chase Hughes' popularity relate to political polarization; and more.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it possible that internet communication, by speeding up and distorting our interactions, is agitating us and deranging us? Is it possible that by putting human interactions “on speed,” the internet amplifies some of the darker aspects of our social psychology? Are we being driven crazy by this technology? If the internet is deranging and dividing us, what are the psychological processes by which it does that? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A major barrier to reducing toxic polarization is that so many of us—especially those who are highly politically involved—see our current toxic conflict as clearly the other side’s fault. People in both groups focus on the grievances that alarm them most but often struggle to understand what bothers their adversaries. From the outside, our opponents’ complaints can look minor, silly, or misinformed compared to our concerns, which we (naturally) see as legitimate and based in reality. The more we subscribe to these narratives, the more we risk becoming arrogant, convinced that “you’d have to be an idiot” not to see which group is worse and more at fault for our conflict and division. All this serves to fan the flames of toxic polarization. This episode looks at how both political groups build their polarized, angry narratives where "it's all the other side's fault." This is a reading of a piece published on The Liberal Patriot: https://www.liberalpatriot.com/p/its-all-the-other-sides-fault Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if your sense of existence, your self-awareness, isn’t unique at all—but the very same “I” that exists in everyone, everywhere? What if you and I—and everyone—are essentially the same person? In this episode, I talk with Joe Kern, author of “The Odds of You Existing,” about Open Individualism: the radical view that there is only a single subject of consciousness, which is shared by all aware beings. Put another way: instead of seeing your odds of existing—your odds of being self-aware at this moment—as being extremely low, it’s a view of your existence as inevitable, because wherever there is a conscious being, your awareness must be present. Joe and I explore the logic of this idea, how it challenges our assumptions about identity and existence, and what it implies about death. Other topics discussed: religion, the idea of souls, free will, and the multiverse. Joe’s site is at applebutterdreams.wordpress.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The documentary "Bad Vegan" was about Sarma Melngailis’s nightmarish journey from successful New York City restaurant owner to Rikers inmate jailed for stealing millions. How did this happen? Sarma was the victim of a narcissistic con man named Anthony Strangis, who manipulated her into believing (or semi-believing) a number of wild, delusional ideas (like that he might be a non-human being with immense, other-worldly powers). He used this strange hold over her to persuade her to give him large amounts of money (much of which he blew at casinos). I talk to Sarma about her experiences. We talk about: what led to her being so emotionally vulnerable that someone like Strangis could manipulate her; the factors that can lead someone to believe things that most people see as clearly ridiculous lies; why she dislikes the “Bad Vegan” documentary maker for his editing choices; the huge emotional challenge of trying to rebuild and stay positive after such nightmarish, debilitating events; her new book "The Girl With the Duck Tattoo." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does nostalgia do to our minds — and our wallets? In this talk with Jannine Lasaleta, we talk about her research into the surprising psychological and emotional effects of nostalgia. Why do people become more generous and loose with money when they’re feeling nostalgic? How are companies — and even political campaigns — harnessing nostalgia to influence us? What’s the link between our craving for “authentic” experiences, like sourdough baking or retro products, and our longing for meaning?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices