Anxious Attachment on Dating and Relationships with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 165

Dave Wayne had found his passion and purpose in life. As a psychiatric nurse, he’d gained the respect of both his peers and superiors–so much so, that he won a prestigious award at his hospital!. Not long after receiving this accolade, Dave was fired. Why? He declined to take an injection of an experimental product.  But as so often happens in life, our darkest moments propel us in a new direction–one that’s more aligned with our values and better suited to who we’re meant to become!. And, in Dave’s case, his skepticism around Big Pharma had already made him realize a profession grounded in pharmaceutical interventions wouldn’t be a fit for him long term.  Dave now serves as a holistic health coach. He emphasizes the importance of nutrition, lifestyle, and mindset on our emotional well-being as he helps clients “describe” from medications. Join us to learn how you can thrive free of Pharma!    Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! David Wayne Website: https://www.describe.health Instagram: @david.wayne.rn Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson Citations: Undisclosed financial conflicts of interest in DSM-5-TR: cross sectional analysis, BMJ 2024; 384 doi: https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj-2023-076902 (Published 10 January 2024) https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2023-076902/rapid-responses --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

We started an occasional series a while ago called, “Empowered Evolving” in part, because I saw so much shifting all around us. Beliefs that had once been considered integral to folks with certain philosophical ideology, now seem to be embraced by those on the opposite side of things. Furthermore, over the last several years, we’ve witnessed the abolition of core American rights I thought we all valued.  Very strange times, indeed. I called the series, “Empowered Evolving” as a way to remind myself—and anyone else who might have been feeling unsettled, as I’ve felt over the last several years—that evolving IS empowered. We used to encourage people to question authority and do our own research and think for ourselves and ask for second, third, and fourth opinions. We warned each other to resist tribalism and group-think. Americans were pioneers, independent minded. We read Thorough’s Civil Disobedience in high school and lived by Shakespeare’s “To thine own self be true”  Naturally, when you live out such principles, you often evolve. Evolving can feel lonely. You may lose friends, your community, even your identity. This all happened to today’s guest, former psychiatric nurse turned holistic health coach, Dave Wayne. Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! David Wayne Website: https://www.describe.health Instagram: @david.wayne.rn Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

Sometimes, even when we’re well into adulthood, dynamics from our family of origin continue to impact us and our relationships.  We may be physically distant, but still emotionally enmeshed! Oftentimes, we remain entangled in family drama, which consumes our time and energy. What’s worse—it robs us of the emotional bandwidth necessary to pursue healthy, romantic partnership.  We may not actually be available for love—even though we deeply desire it and long to meet our person.  Join us to learn 2 key principles from Family Systems Theory which will greatly enhance your ability to relate to your family of origin with emotional maturity.  As an added bonus, healthier family relationships lead to healthier relationships with EVERYONE in your life—including with yourself, your friends, and your romantic partner! Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

In Elliott’s final session of his premarital curriculum, he delves into a topic which all too often proves incredibly difficult for couples to discuss—sex. We began this conversation in episode 295 but, because there’s obviously a lot to talk about, we broke it up into 2 parts. Elliott shares Biblical wisdom to help couples cultivate deep, meaningful sexual connections. He also provides practical steps for every stage of marriage—whether you’re newlyweds hoping to establish a firm foundation or you’ve been together for years and years but have lost that spark. No matter where you are in your love journey, this episode is for you! Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

In the final session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum, he helps couples develop habits and dynamics necessary for cultivating sexual intimacy and fulfillment. Step one—you need to be able to talk about it! As Elliott notes, many couples struggle to discuss this most important element of their relationship. Elliott shares the key questions he poses to couples to assist them in establishing a solid foundation for the physical expression of their love and commitment.   Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

Four years after “2 weeks to stop the spread” and I’m still reeling. They say, “Get over it. Move on! COVID’s done.”  Of course, I’d like to forget about it. But, it doesn’t feel “done” to me. I’m still trying to get my bearings.  Elliott says it’s Post COVID Trauma. We all feel it to some degree. And, we all deal with it differently. How could we NOT be traumatized? We’d never experienced anything like it! The world shut down. We lived in fear. People died. We couldn’t say goodbye. Kids stuck at home. Masks and 6 feet of separation destroyed human connection. Alpha, Delta, Omicron, what’s next? From a bat? Lab leak? Who’s telling the truth!?!? Don’t ask questions. Fauci’s the boss. NOTHING to be done—just wait for the “vaccine.” Skeptical of an experimental shot? What are you, a grandma killer? I could go on and on . . . If you’re feeling some Post COVID Stress Disorder, please join us for what amounts to a therapy session☺️ Elliott helps me move through the emotional fallout of being a COVID dissident. If you’re still disoriented from the last 4 years, this episode is for you! Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

In the fifth session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum he discusses the relationship dynamics related to money and power. Karin is out of town this week so Elliott and Tim tackle this topic and address the following issues: How do we communicate with our partner about finances? What role do you play with your partner in relationship to money? How do money and power co-exist in the context of a partnership? What does the Bible say about money? We can live empowered lives in relationship with our finances! Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

We all know conflict is unavoidable. And, it’s certainly inherent to marriage. In the fourth session of Elliott’s premarital curriculum, couples take a deep dive into all aspects of conflict. We know it’s inevitable, but can conflict actually strengthen our bond and cultivate intimacy? Specifically we address: Why does conflict happen?  When is it most likely to occur?  When disputes arise, what’s really going on beneath the surface?  Methods for disagreeing with fairness and maturity. Working with your own conflict style and that of your partner.  How conflict CAN bring comfort! Learn how our differences CAN strengthen your connection! Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

As we all know, if something is “out of order,” it’s not working.  So, too, in marriage!  In session 3 of his premarital curriculum, Elliott discusses the importance of “order” in marriage. He shares key verses in Ephesians 5 with which some couples struggle. Elliott asserts a deeper understanding reveals how husbands and wives are empowered by these Biblical instructions. He reminds us that although we’re not all wired for structure and order, we need to find a God ordained rhythm that works for us as a couple. I share some examples from our marriage roles which, though traditional, feel authentic and empowering. Join us to keep your relationship in order!  Sponsor: The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message

We’re continuing our series on engagement by sharing Elliott’s premarital curriculum with you 💍 In session 2, Elliott asks couples if they believe love is enough. If we’re madly in love, can we be guaranteed a happy, solid, fulfilling marriage? He goes into depth regarding the Bible’s instructions (I Peter 3:1-7) for how husbands are to treat their wives and vice versa. Elliott unpacks the meaning of the Greek to reveal the true intimacy God designed for us in marriage. Spoiler alert:  women will be quite pleased with God’s directions for how their husbands should love them! We delve into the following: What authentic intimacy looks like. How love is given and received differently by men and women. How husbands are to “honor” their wives (an incredibly radical notion at the time!) and the blessing they receive when they do so! Join us for a deeper understanding of love and how this applies to relationships, intimacy, and marriage! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/love-and-life-media/message