Deep Within with Marina Yanay-Triner podcast

75. The Impact of Childhood Emotional Neglect on Intimate Relationships

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Unlike abuse, Childhood Emotional Neglect is about the absence of something.

Many of us who experienced it have no concrete examples of it, so we feel a sense of emptiness without concrete events to point to! This can be so confusing.

This seriously painful experience of your emotions being avoided, neglected and not having a supportive place to go to for emotional soothing manifests deeply in our everyday life and every relationship:

  1. Difficulty expressing needs and emotions: because, what is they are ignored again?

  2. Fear of seeming too needy: because you got the wrong impression you were through being ignored.

  3. People-pleasing and struggling to set boundaries: as a way to stay safe and protected.

  4. Emotional withdrawal and deep fear of vulnerability: because again - what if you are ignored, rejected and abandoned again, and then all the pain from the past comes up?

  5. Difficulty recognizing emotions: because every emotion reminds you of that past neglect and abandonment - so painful!

  6. Self-blame or invalidation: you doubt yourself just like your caregivers did.

  7. Avoidance of conflict: because conflict always involves emotions and in the past, conflict meant you were often invalidated and made to feel small.

  8. Limited self-compassion and low self esteem: you will unworthy, because you hardly felt supported as a child.

  9. Challenges in trusting others: how can you trust if you were so deeply abandoned in your childhood, in such an invisible yet super painful way?

  10. Always feeling like you are too much or need to much: because you were too much for your caregivers (but this does not mean that YOU are too much, just that they did not have the tools to properly support you!)

This impacts deeply sensitive people even more as we have very different emotional needs and higher sensitivity than most people!

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