Episode 188: How to Discover Your Identity with Bonnie Gray

Some Christians write off June’s Pride festivals as Sodom and Gomorrah. They don’t think anyone there could possibly want God. Are we so sure about that? At least two ministries in the U.S. are regularly going to Pride festivals in their areas, and they are seeing people come to know Jesus because of their presence, preaching, and practical love of neighbor. This week, we interview a street evangelist who has been going to Grand Rapids, Michigan’s Pride Festival for the last five years. We ask: Why does he go? What heart does he have when he goes? What pushback does he receive? What fruit does he see from his going? What can we learn from his work? You’re not going to want to miss these episodes. | Highlights | “We are either open and affirming or we are openly condemning, but in the middle ground is the gospel.” —Stephen Nylen “They will not know if I do not go. So I have to go. But if you’re going to preach and your feet aren’t beautiful (Westboro Baptist, legalists, moralists, open and affirming, or openly condemning) then you’re not preaching the right gospel.” —Stephen Nylen “If you’re a firefighter and you see a fire, then your calling is to go. And so I go.” —Stephen Nylen | QOTW | What do you always need instructions for? (Making rice, Mac and cheese, or using a lawnmower?)   | Do the Next Thing | Find everything about Stephen’s work here Or on his FB here Or here His minidoc on the ministry here And his two-minute gospel presentation here Join the HIMH FB group here Follow Laurie on IG here Email us with thoughts or questions at [email protected] Watch the episode here

When we are going through suffering, we don’t usually think, “Hmm, what treasures might God have for me to discover here?” It just feels like suffering. However, author and major stroke survivor, Katherine Wolf, has a message for us: God has gems for us to find in the darkness. “If you have to go through hardship, why not get the treasure? My goodness, don’t waste the pain,” she says. What else do we talk about? What exactly are these “treasures” anyway? How should we respond to our friends’ immediate suffering? What if we are in a major depressive season? Is there hope for us?  What if we don’t think our struggles are worth even naming as “suffering”?  What steps can we take in the midst of a hard season to find hope? // Highlights: “Before we can ever accept the circumstances of our life, we have to go through the process of grieving the life we thought we should have had.” --Katherine Wolf “The gift we can give one another as the body of Christ is to sprint toward one another’s pain and suffering.” --Katherine Wolf “We need to remember that we are called and assigned to our stories.” --Katherine Wolf “What saved my life was the logic of it all: If I should have died, I would have died. I did not die, therefore God has purpose in my being in this body and on this planet in this moment.” --Katherine Wolf “We need less people telling you what to think in the pain and more just being with you in the pain.” --Katherine Wolf // Question of the Week: What two random things are in your junk drawer right now?    // Do the Next Thing: Katherine’s amazing new devotional/reflection book? Find it here Follow Katherine on IG here Join the HIMH FB group here Follow Laurie on IG here Email us with thoughts or questions at [email protected] Watch it here  

“Hope in the gospel and discouragement are not mutually exclusive,” Pastor Derwin Gray encouraged us on today’s episode.  But, how is that possible? The world can feel so defeating: Politics, racial division, pastor scandals, congregant sin, and the drudgery of faithfully trying to do this thing called advancing the Kingdom of God wherever we are called can overwhelm anyone. How can we both experience grief, discouragement, or mourning, and allow it to propel us further into the heart of God? Author and pastor of one of the fastest growing churches in America, Derwin Gray, preaches exactly the answer and exactly what weary souls needed to hear today.   // Highlights:   “When I find my heart becoming cynical I know that I have stepped out of grace and into self righteousness.” —Derwin Gray “I’m finding encouragement because that tomb in Jerusalem is still empty.” —Derwin Gray “We need more local pastors not teaching moralism, sin management, left-leaning secular ideologies or Pharisaical rightism. We need them to preach the gospel-centered, beautiful, bloody resurrection power of Jesus.” —Derwin Gray   // QOTW:   What is your favorite sign of spring?   // Do the Next Thing:   Watch the video here! Find all of Derwin’s work here Join the HIMH Podcast here Keep up with Laurie and the HIMH Podcast on IG here

This is a very gentle but powerful episode.  Since having the conversation, I (Laurie) can’t stop seeing the people-as-trees metaphor everywhere. How? You’re just going to have to listen to find out. :)   // Highlights: “We all have the seasons in life. We can’t expect the same things of ourselves in every single season. When we don’t experience seasons that are fruitful or blooming, it doesn’t mean that something is wrong with us, it can just mean we are in a different season.” —Joy Marie Clarkson “You can’t have buds and the blooms [on a tree] without ... the old leaves dying.” —Joy Marie Clarkson “I had cleared the land of my life of all the things that seemed ‘pointless’ … In doing that, I made the field of my life infertile and barren. ” —Joy Marie Clarkson // Question of the Week: What do you accidentally buy too much of at the grocery store? (You have grocery-nesia?)   // Do the Next Thing: Find Joy on IG here On Twitter here On FB here On her Substack here Her podcast here Join the conversation at the HIMH FB Pod Page here! Watch the episode here

Christy grew up in a hyper-legalistic system that added rigid rules to the gospel of Jesus.  (You might have seen glimpses of it if you watched the documentary, ‘Shiny Happy People.’) Even after leaving, Christy internally battled the legalism that attached itself to her knowledge of the real Jesus. How did she break free—not only physically, but mentally and spiritually? We also explore: What is the difference between authority and authoritarianism? How can you tell if you’re in a legalistic system? Why would someone be drawn to such a structure? How can we break free from either a direct cult like Christy experienced, or simple (but unbiblical) legalism? // Highlights: “Legalism and behavior-driven stuff (feeling like you have to perform for God) holds on tight. Even after getting out [of the cult] and going to college (I was wearing pants, I had shorter hair, and I looked way more normal than I used to look), I was still very much stuck in this idea that God didn’t like me if I wasn’t performing correctly.” —Christy Lynne Wood “The most damaging part of this cult was the idea of who God was: He was angry, he wanted certain behaviors and activities, and he was going to judge you and condemn you if you didn’t follow these rules and behaviors.” —Christy Lynne Wood “God wants us to be reconciled to the real Jesus, not to some fake god who is crushing us under his thumb… And, He wants this more than we do.” —Christy Lynne Wood // Question of the Week: Do you have grocery-nesia? Do you go to the store and think you *definitely* need something, but get home only to discover you already have four? We want to hear about it.   // Do the Next Thing: Watch the episode here! You can read Christy’s blog and more here You can find Christy’s book, Religious Rebels, here We talk about understanding the genre, etc. of the Bible. This book may be a help Christy mentioned A Matter of Basic Principles book found here You can find the Diane Langberg book we talked about that explored authority, Redeeming Power, here Join the HIMH Podcast FB group here

Oh, wow. This story.  How does one woman go from a childhood of following Jesus as much as she knows how, to professional hockey, to same-sex relationships, to transitioning to male for six years, to finding the real Jesus, and then to de-transitioning in the midst of a loving church community? This episode has her story. Hear a testimony and take part in a conversation on how to walk well with people who wrestle with gender today on the podcast.   // Highlights: “I was crying out to God on the bedroom floor, and I heard him say, ‘Kyla. Return to me.’ And I was like, ‘What do you mean, return to you? Can’t I follow you and be Brycen?’ I heard him very clearly say to me, ‘No.’ I was weeping: ‘I don’t know what this looks like. Can I ever be female again?’ And he said to me, ‘Do you trust me and are you willing?’ And I cried out in that moment, ‘Yes!’” --Kyla Gillespie “Do we think we are powerful enough in ourselves to change and will somebody to love Jesus? Or do we believe in the power of the Holy Spirit who saves and changes people? That’s what [the people who discipled me] did. They called me to this gospel, but they loved me in the mess.” --Kyla Gillespie “It’s always different when we have face-to-face relationships. Suddenly all those things we did and said on the internet turn into, ‘Oh, maybe that wasn’t so kind or so nice or so gentle. Maybe I didn’t love you the way I’m commanded to love you.’” --Kyla Gillespie // Question of the Week: What was your favorite childhood cereal? // Do the Next Thing: Find Kyla’s ministry here Search her on IG here Join the HIMH Podcast Group here Watch the episode here

Is anyone else feeling like they are in a rut in their marriage? Maybe you’re not in crisis mode, but it’s kinda just . . . meh? It’s easy to function; to sit on opposite couches and scroll on your phone. But, do you wonder if marriage could be better than that—not with some fantastical potion or even a weekend intensive per se, but what if it began with small, simple movements of risk toward one another? Today, marriage experts Tracy Johnson and Chris Bruno guide those of us who feel “in a rut” toward a gentle path of hope. How?  Grab a coffee drink you’ve never ordered before (you’ll get this reference after you listen ;)), and pull up an earbud. (Oh, and single friends? Thanks for listening and being a friend to us as we figure out this heavenly metaphor as you figure out yours. (See episode 213 for more on this.)) // Highlights: “In the last couple of years we have seen couples move into a devolution of trust. People have stepped away from a posture of generosity toward their spouses into a posture of protection.” —Chris Bruno  “What I have found with the couples that we are working with is . . . they are profoundly disconnected and incredibly lonely. The surgeon general’s report that came out in May that the greatest mental health crisis we are facing as a country is actually tied to loneliness, and we are seeing the manifestation of that in the couples that are coming to us. They say, ‘I’m so lonely. How can I be so lonely in this marriage?’ . . . but without the tools to bridge that disconnection.” —Tracy Johnson “We live in a broken world where we assume, ‘If I risk, I will be missed.’ But what if we begin to build some trust so that we think, ‘If I risk, what if I am seen’?” —Chris Bruno // QOTW: What is *in* for you for 2024, and what is *out*?   // Do the Next Thing: Find Tracy and Chris’ work here That year of good dates?? Here Chris and Tracy's ReStory Counseling here Thrive YouTube? Here Matt and Laurie’s fave marriage book? Here Laurie and Matt’s marriage book? Here Join the HIMH Pod FB page here!  Watch it here

We are going to talk about singleness until we as the Church get this right, friends. People talk about how marriage gives us a vision of eternity in how two different people seeking union shows the world a picture of how God (who is so different from us) will be one with His church. But, how does singleness show us a picture of what we will experience in the new heavens and new earth? Author and ministry leader, Dani Treweek, is here to tell us how.   // Highlights: “I have become absolutely convinced that singleness is not just the absence of something good, but it is the presence of something good.”  —Dani Treweek “The industrial revolution…took the household and made it the privatized refuge from the dirty dark world of work outside. That meant that the relationships in the household became much more based on emotion and intimate ties, and the household became much more insular…. That had an impact on singleness because suddenly, singleness became the absence of those things. Singleness didn’t have a place in the household, but adjacent to it.” —Dani Treweek “We see in Scripture like 1 Corinthians 7 Paul saying, ‘Singleness is good. Marriage is good. Get on and live for Jesus, guys.’ Throughout all of church history we have struggled to hold that equilibrium.”  —Dani Treweek “Marriage and singleness are not in competition with each other. They complement each other. They need each other to make sense of each other in the church, and to make sense of who we are as the church.”  —Dani Treweek “We are going to be our most perfectly human selves in the next age—perfectly known and knowing perfectly, perfectly loved and loving perfectly—and we are going to do that as men and women with bodies but who are not married to each other and who are not having sex with each other. That actually says that we don’t need to be married and sexually active in our lives here and now in this creation in order to be fully human.”  —Dani Treweek // Do the Next Thing: Find Dani’s work (and book!) here You can follower her Substack here You can find her ministry is here Join our HIMH Podcast FB Page here Watch the episode here

It’s the end of 2023, so we are reflecting, looking ahead, and asking, “Do Laurie and Steve look alike?” Lol… (Matt and Laurie’s kids seem to think so…) HOWEVER, the conversation mostly revolves around… What did we learn in 2023? Based on what we learned, how do we want to engage 2024 with more wisdom? What simple tool did and are we using (and you can use, too) to plan the year?   Grab the last of the egg nog, and let’s hang out!   // Highlights: “There were times throughout this year that God felt really distant. But in that, I found myself longing for His presence.”—Steve “I started to find that the gym is the place I can tend to myself. I am not working with clients. I am not getting not getting milk for the kids. I am just there. No headphones on. In silence, lifting weights.” —Matt “The default of life is to chase fires and try to put them out. That’s how we were living and that’s how we can mostly live. I don’t want to do that all of the time . . . It’s hard to play and laugh.” —Laurie   // Question of the Week: There is no question of the week officially, but we DO want to know: Do Laurie and Steve look alike? :D   // Do the Next Thing: The list of Core Needs can be found here with the 2024 printable That Core Needs Series? Here The Gardens series? Here Our Impossible Marriage book? Here Watch the podcast video here

This time of year can feel unfair: “Just kick back and enjoy the season! But also get the perfect present for everyone. But don’t do too much! #selfcare But do enough so that you tell people you love and appreciate them. But don’t! But also do.” Thank the Lord we brought in our friend and wellness expert, Bonnie Gray, to help us learn how to approach this and every season not with another way to perfectly-imperfectly self-care your way into health and wholeness, but to sink deeply into the love of Jesus. We also discuss: Are people either helpers or those who are helped? What does the left brain/right brain have to do with this conversation? How can soul care be more than taking a bath or vegging out on our favorite TV show? What simple practices can we begin today to calm anxiety? // Highlights: “Being lonely, stressed, sad, or anxious doesn’t mean we are not strong. It just means we need to be loved.” —Bonnie Gray “We try to feel better by thinking our way out of stress, but we need to nurture our way to relieve stress.” —Bonnie Gray “Research shows that taking a ten minute walk outside lowers cortisol and releases the happy hormone serotonin more than 45 minutes working out at the gym.”—Bonnie Gray // Question of the Week:   What is your go-to TV genre?   // Do the Next Thing: That soul care quiz? Here Her book? Here Our HIMH Pod FB Group? Here Contact us? https://www.youtube.com/@wcsgradio